October 26, 2011

Another open letter....

Posted by Khushboo W at 12:25 AM
     Yeah, another open letter! I know all of you have read The Madrasan's letter and our dear, beloved Red Handed's post just meant for menkind , and  not many, but very few have read my letter to Enrique Iglesias , here comes another letter to all the living organisms, who have sperm cells in their body. In a way, you can count this letter as a reply to our admin Freelancer's post . Yes, roll your eyeballs like you fry pakodas at your home, yet I'll go on with it. I'm in one of those blue moods, when even PMSing becomes a guy's fault. You get the drift? I wanna bitch about all the guys in the world. This is an open letter to all the guys in the world, who actually want to be in a relationship with a sensible, mature girl and not just a blondie. And by relationship, I mean friendship, love, siblings,father-daughter, or any other possible relationship involving men. So, here it goes-

Dear Men-in-my-life,
     I'm very well aware of your ways and wishes. Just, FYI, I have a life too. So, can you just not control it? I like having my things my way. Be it cooking, reading, relaxing or making out. If you're not comfortable with it, either adjust or discuss. Don't command. Use that tone and I may, as well, use my way of punishing you. No sex, no food. See, your FFSS {food, friends, sex, sleep} needs, we can reduce it to just two, F&S. I know you're pampered by your family to think that girls are meant just for handling the household chores, but sadly, it is wrong. We can work and handle home, both. Thus, we can generate income and take care of our home. Yes, OUR home. Not just mine, not just yours, learn it, it's our home. Equality should prevail, in every matter. I'm not asking you to cook food or wash clothes. You can just help us out on these chores. If you're hungry at 2 in the night, don't wake us up and ask us to make you something to eat. Get up and make a sandwich. Also, just wash your undies. The rest, we can handle. But not stained and smelly and gooey underwear. Okay? 
     
     Also, you may score extra points with us by helping us out. There are several ways. For starters, when you're done eating, take up the dish you ate in and leave it near the sink. You ate in that dish, didn't you? Then why should we pick it up? If you need water, lift your ass from the couch, go to the kitchen and get it yourself. Don't act like the kitchen is a maze, and you're lost! We are not asking you to make biryani and mattar paneer, but you must at least know how to cook daal-rice and simple dishes like aloo ki subzi or bhindi. So that, when we are not well and rolling in pain while PMSing, you can just help us out. And about your sports and games, well let me tell you, I actually like sports. I can sit and watch it with you, hours on the go. But when I'm distressed, I don't wanna watch Cristiano Ronaldo and 21 other men running behind a ball. I wanna watch something light like F.R.I.E.N.D.S . So, leave the remote control for 20 minutes. 


     As I said earlier, we have a life. It automatically includes our social life as well. If you want us to like your friends, even you should gel with our lot. Don't disrespect or abuse them, ever. When you are rough to us, at times, they come to our rescue. Just be nice and share a joke or two. Also, we may have a friend who is a guy just like you. when we say friend, we mean it. There's nothing else. Period. No need to keep a check on our activities and cell-phones. If you doubt us, you surely don't deserve us. We can do without you as well. Not all girls are clingy stalkers. We take our time to get over relationships, but when we are done with your memories, we become strong enough to avoid you. 


     Some more bashing is left. We know you love your mothers. But then, so do we. So watch your words, while speaking about my Mum. One wrong word and you'll see me waving you goodbye. And the sex? Yes, we know you got your needs and they need to be satisfied. But, once you are satisfied, you roll back to your side bed and snore like an elephant. This is surely not the way. We also need some action. It is like you are taking us to Paris to see The Eiffel tower, but you leave us on the corner of the road and say, "Baby, take a right, walk for 125 meters, and Voila, there is the Eiffel tower!" Get it?


     I know I'm not easy to adjust with, I'm a freak, I'm a psycho, I confuse you every now and then. But you must know that I trust you and that is why you are a part of my life. I'd like it if you respect me and my views, and you don't treat me as a speck of dirt on your white shirt. That is all.


Yours,
every-girl-in-your-life.


P.S I'm sorry if I hurt any of you. These are my views. They may be right, they may be wrong, but you don't need to agree with it, if you don't want to. I'm just expressing my points to you, and not forcing them. Also, I'm writing when I'm in a bad mood, keep that in mind. Thank you. Also, happy diwali. Have a very good new year. And forget this post as soon as you are done with it. It doesn't deserve that much importance. It's just a rant. *grinning*



12 comments:

Red Handed on October 26, 2011 at 8:19 AM said...

Ooooooohhhooooooooo! Bravo Bravo!
Loved the letter from head to Toe. I soooo hate when they act like the Kitchen is a LOST WORLD and they r terrified to step into it! I hate sooooo many things abt them. But SIGH! We fall in love n become to emotional fool.

Lovely!

meoww on October 26, 2011 at 8:34 AM said...

tadaaaaaaa...!!!!!
How about a HI 5 my dear love !
Its so dhamakedar..!! A perfect cracker for diwali..
Lol about the eiffel tower thing..hahaha..i swear its so annoying...snoring away to glory after the 'cat' :p :p :p
and i sooooo agree with RED..they get on their nerves..still we get on with them..hehehe..
Muahhss..let all such dimwit coconuts go take a hoot..

U chill babes..eat masst gulabjamun and sexy gadb..
Cheers !
Happy diwali :D :D

meoww on October 26, 2011 at 8:37 AM said...

oh godd..so many typos..i hate commenting from my phone :|

*act

*sexy icecream

hehehe :D

♥●• İzdiher •●♥ on October 26, 2011 at 3:54 PM said...

THIS IS CUTE .

Freelancer on October 26, 2011 at 7:17 PM said...

thats it!!!!

Its war!! Oh thank you for the lines. Now i am going to tear them apart one by one. I wont comment here...oh no! Wait for my open letter. This is to all the guys out there, who are reading this blog or not, i am going to be your voice!

Bwahahaha
Game on honey!

Freelancer on October 26, 2011 at 7:21 PM said...

P.S| this is not meant to start a real fight. Its countering one's claims by making another claim in a peaceful way.

Mystical Skeptical Me on October 26, 2011 at 7:36 PM said...

Wow! What a cracker! :D I have most certainly met exceptional men... hence I am single ;) :P But I totally agree about the sex thingy and Oh, and about sports and PMSing!

A BIIIIIIG Hug, to make your bad mood, good! :D :D A VERY HAPPY Diwali! :D :D Blessed be!

PeeVee™ on October 27, 2011 at 12:18 AM said...

Underwear?:P

Whether this was too generalized or not, I don't know and Freelancer might just have a dinosaur in his bonnet about it, but I LOVED IT:D

Eiffel Towerwala was especially fun;P

And I totally agree with men learning basic cooking.

subtlescribbler on October 27, 2011 at 10:51 AM said...

hehe...awesomeee!
I ll make my bro read this letter...he really deserves some bashing especially on the kitchen part :( :P


sarah

The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-p on October 28, 2011 at 1:56 AM said...

I ahven't commented on so many posts this month...just ahven't found time...but bravo girl I was gonna do one myself not in a bad mood or anything...just that FLs very boyish requests set my XX chromosomes all tingling!!! Great job here :D

Paanipuri Lover on October 29, 2011 at 5:02 PM said...

@ Red Handed : I know! Such pigs they are no! That too, hot ones! ;) :D
*sigh*
@ Meoww : *high 5* girlie! And happy diwali! :D
@ Izdiher : thank you! :D
@ Freelancer : Aah, I wait for your open letter! And, this war has been going on for ages! So, I'm quite fine with it! :D
@ Mystical skeptical me : Awwie, thank you! And my *hugs* to you as well! :D <3
@ PeeVee : I totally forgot to mention that this was not based on my personal experience, but I've heard my friends crib about their boyfriends and aunties cribbing about their husbands! Guess, this is universal! :P
@ Subtlescribbler : Spread the awareness! :P :D And Thank you! :D
@ The dragon in the skin of a goat : Thanks yaar! And I know the feeling, the need to bitch about them, no?! :P :D

Thanks everybody, for liking it! :D

Mystical Skeptical Me on October 29, 2011 at 5:22 PM said...

:D :D

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