Everyone confesses. Why not me?
Though my confessions won't be sad...
Hmm, where do I start?? When you are a guy, you realize bloody hell, you have lied a lot!! And specially when you are a guy like me, embarrassing moments can overwhelm your achievements [whatever they might be]
Its a list, I stopped counting long back. So I will just jot down the stuff i remember.
Judge me later.
The past FL
* I stole from Dad.
Yeah, beginning with a simple one. Though i guess, not many people do that. Add mom also. Swiped a couple of hundreds of bucks. Sometimes to pay for the collection of lay's tazo's that my friend sold me. The only one i vividly remember was buying an Eagles music cd for one of my good friends' on his birthday. I was 13. The reason I remember that is well, i got caught. And then slapped.
*Got caught watching porn by dad. TWICE!
Brr..This is maybe the only thing that I will never forget with the passing of time. Dad caught me watching porn. Once at a cafe, second at home. Bloody frigging twice. Class 12 - Boards preparation. I was horny [weren't you at that age?] Okay so bottom line is, dad dropped me at a cafe so that i could fill up some imaginary application forms I made up. In the heat of big bosomed milfs, I forgot as time passed by. One hour later, Dad made his entrance. Karma, as usual was being a bitch, the screen froze. I looked at Dad. He looked at me. And as I felt his gaze upon me, I could also feel the sharp, cold imprints of his fingers as my face exploded. In one second, all horniness fled and I started thinking of ways to survive the ride home.
*beat a boy till I broke his nose and wrist
Aaaah the satisfaction I felt!! I am a non-violent guy. Most of the time. For a Leo, am pretty much the coolest one. I have 0 patience but 100 percent tolerance. That unlucky chap, decided to try the patience of a LEO. He stalked my sister. My kid sister. Everyday from school. He even spread the word around the locality that my lil' sis was his betrothed. Now that was not a nice way to anger an elder brother. Wham! His face - my Fist - his scars. It felt good. He changed orbits after that mutual understanding. ho ho ho.
*fell from an elephant
Not a very nice way to fall specially when you are trying to show off to a gaon-ki-chori. I was 14 when this happened. Went to village to attend a wedding. The bridegroom was supposed to go in a haathi and I was field-testing the jumbo. So when my childhood friend made an appearance, I decided to surprise her. How naive I was. I climbed up the elephant and then the elephant surprised me. THUD! No broken bones thankfully but my parents stopped me from going with the baraat.
*made love in the bathroom
Bedroom - done. Floor - done. someone else's room - done. Bathroom - done. Okay so all that remains are roof, swimming pool, beach, terrace, car, lift and stairs. My My! Long way to go.
But hey, a beginning is a beginning. Point of Advice - Do NOT try this if its not a big bathroom. The cramps may kill you if not the other person. That reminds me, yet to do it on a bath tub. [If anyone of you, ahem ahem, tell me is it worth it?]
*did a runner from a 5 star restaurant
Me and my fucked-up-beyond-hell friends. The idea was to eat at a 5-star for once. Some crazy ass came up with the plan of running without paying. Before we knew it, it was 8000 plus another 1000 in taxes. And then, like ninjas, we ran. Through the kitchens, through the kitchen food elevators, down the basement, over the back wall...we ran and ran until not even dogs thought they could race us. My dad would probably kill me if he heard all these..but once in a while, the madness in me likes to come to life.
*stopped traffic by dancing at the traffic police point
It was the time when Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai was released. Though I hated Hrithik Roshan (and still do), i danced Ek Pal Ka Jeena for full 30 seconds at the traffic point before the hapless paan-chewing traffic police realized that his responsibility had gone to hell. Why I did what i did?? One certain moron-best friend of mine challenged me for a 100 bucks. And i needed the cash to buy the latest pirated max payne game that was released. Now that i realize, i do not seem to recall hearing any claps or cheers. Damn people! They want entertainment only when they are free!
*been to a lock-up
This is neither funny nor sad. It just happened on a very very bad day. I bunked tuition...to chat with a certain chick from Denmark that I met in a Yahoo chat room! Sigh! That day, she dumped me. As a chat buddy. As i crawled back to real life, my friend returned from tuition and together we started for home. As always, we sat on the flyover, watching cars zip by... Without noticing the nearly empty flyover [which was a rarity as couples always used to sit there to talk, touch and kiss], we sat there in our own thoughts. 5 minutes later, at gunpoint, we were whisked away. I admit at that time, i contemplated jumping from the jeep, but the thought of my girlfriend (now ex) crying over my bullet ridden body was too painful to imagine.
It was curfew time and we were unknowing outlaws and Assam police really don't like Robin Hoods. By 10 pm, a few more Robin Hoods joined our ranks and thankfully they had the elusive mobiles. Called our parents, who were on the stroke of passing out in anxiety over two lost boys, finally came to pick us up.
*Me and a dog - sealed with a kiss
3 years ago, I decided to drink. After 21 years of being sober, I was ready to jump into a man's world. What followed was a night of blanks that my mind still refuses to fill. 11 videos of me made their way to youtube that night. Of the 11, only 1 still remain. Somehow I can't get rid of it. Thankfully, the video of me kissing the neighbor's dog is not there. My roomie says I frenched the dog. I beg to differ. I might have kissed his nose.
Anyway, the dog stopped coming to our place from the next day.
*was hit on by a guy/gay
This happened last Wednesday. I was, as usual, minding my own business. Browsing through books at a Landmark store and this guy comes up to me. He says "have you done any modeling??" [Oh stop laughing, you lot!] After a few seconds after determining that he was actually talking to me i casually replied no. And he was like "you look like a model. Do you work out?" Again pause. "I used to work out. Not anymore", I replied. He grabbed my arm and felt my biceps and I was just staring at him. Hell, i thought that was how talent agencies find clients. He told me to continue shopping but asked me drop a word before i left.
15 minutes later as i was about to leave the store, out of courtesy, i walked up to him and bade him bye. He stopped me and told me to jot down his number incase i changed my mind about modeling. As i sat next to him and started to save his number, his hands started the awkward exploring of my chest and hands. He held my hand loosely and his fingers moved to where it shouldn't have. That was a sacred place meant only for girls and my hand! I got up, didn't turn back and walked as my inner self almost died of a seizure.
Great! Now even gays fall for me. I guess that long hair and tight tees and the skinny jeans i wore was too irresistible. *sigh*
*go to multiplex's and watch movies alone
I love attention. I love being loved. I hate being alone. But most of the time, you will find me alone in the company of none. I go out and watch movies alone, laugh like a maniac in the movie hall much to the bewilderment of the people around me. I go out in the mornings, with only my playlist as company. I stare at the night sky for hours without a single thought passing through my brain. It looks like a blank screensaver sometimes. I astonish myself that i can be at so peace with myself alone when i crave for attention every other minute.
*cry every single time I watch Kal ho Na Ho
I am a die hard SRK fan. ANd i cry, every single time I watch Kal Ho Naa Ho. Well, its not actually a big deal since i cried watching Tangled too. IF i was a movie character, i would be Raj Malhotra of DDLJ and if i was a TV character, i would by default be Ross Gellar
*vehemently believe that if you press a girl's boobs, they enlarge with time
Well, nobody disproved it yet. So the notion stays. You girls with boyfriends would know better :P I don't want to point you out :P
Until then, its FL signing off