May 18, 2013

Virgin-Shirgin hai rabba!!

Posted by My Cactus Dress at 9:11 AM
I read a couple of discussions on "Virginity" and I feel proud and glorified at the same time, to know that there is existence of  mature, bold and non-hypocritical women, like the Darlings here at "Darlings of Venus"

Much respect, to all.

I read and read and everything I wanted to portray, is already mentioned.

Almost all the Darlings here, adhered the same concept as mine. Choice.

But, what after your mind heart (ouchh!) has already made a choice?? How do you deal, when your choice is against the society, you are breathing in?

Staying outside India, and being able to taste the society in different parts of the world, I would like to showcase how the notion of virginity is perceived in other parts of the world and how people have stood up to them.

Firstly, do not forget, there are religions that exist in the western world too, whose dogmas restricts their people from having fornication prior to marriage and there are ample of people who follow that religiously. So, erase the belief that, it is only in India, where sex before marriage is unacceptable.

Secondly, it is true that westerners have much freedom when it comes to sex and losing ones virginity. They are never judged or asked questions unlike the eastern side of the world. In fact, you would be looked upon with doubts, if you have reached a certain age and are still not unsealed however, with freedom, comes the understanding of enforcing worthy decisions.

For example, If you hide a jar of sugar from a kid, he would always wonder about its taste. He would go to an extent to hop on it, the next chance he gets, just to check what it tastes like. And it doesn't matter if he enjoys it or hates it, he would do it again and again as he thinks he is deprived of it. That happens because of some weird psychological way our brains are wired.
If that same jar is given to him with a warning about the outcomes, he might not feel the urge to taste it, until he determines he is ready. Even if he does, he now have the freedom to decide if its good or bad and can thus accept or ignore it. It's a very basic human psychology.

Another example- In France, teens are introduced to wines and lighter alcohol by their own parents at dinner table. With growing age, they learn the consequences and their effects. And that is the reason why, you'll rarely find drunk driving records or some drunkard abusing all his way, in the streets or bars of France. Unlike France, India or even in the US, alcohol is stamped as something "adult" or "bad" right from the start and you can see the results. Once they get the access, people drink like gutters until they drop.

It is an identical case here, when it comes to Virginity. There is this freedom in the western countries, which will devise your mind and body capable enough to make your own choices according to your desires and beliefs.

People who chose to stay virgin.

Jonas Brothers. Even teens, practice abstinence in this day and age. The eldest one gave up the Purity Ring when he got married.

Celine Dion also preferred to stay a virgin until she got married at the age of 26. 

Hard to believe but, Jessica Simpson stayed virgin until she got married. She wore a Purity Ring which she received from her Father. She religiously kept her promise.

  Ahh! Our much beloved Phoebe, Lisa Kudrow, who is actually, always pictured as wild and sexual, remained virgin until the age of 32! She got married and gifted her much preserved virginity to her husband.

Taylor Swift. Thousands of opinions on love and break up but, chose to stay virgin until marriage.

Adriana Lima. She is the Victoria's Secret Angel who determined to stay virgin for her future husband, whom she married at the age of 27. Talk about. "lack of opportunity"

And while I am at it, I think, people who boast "Virginity is the lack of opportunity" are at the bottom of the barrel of loathsomeness and they should be extinct., like right now!!
(Note that, throughout my life, this quote was used by non-virgins who  massaged their lost self-respect by bragging how virginity is actually because of nonavailability of a partner. Opportunity meant partner to them. Hence the anger.)

 Venus and Serena Williams, are Christians, who believe, sex before marriage is a sin.

 Taylor Lautner, one of the biggest heartthrob of Chicas, also wears a Purity Ring.

One of the funniest lady, a talented actress and my personal favorite, Tina Fey, also gifted her virginity to her husband when she got married at the age of 24.

And there are many more. These are the people who refused to wear a poker face and embraced their values, which were ill-fitted in their civilization. We are yet to find our ways to make THAT happen in India.

I am not asking to preserve your virginity, through these example. I am trying to explain how it's okay to not believe in what others do, and stand up to it. I would have given examples of people who didn't believe in preserving oneself and stood up for it in public, if I had any.

Unless, we do not embrace our own beliefs and values and keep pretending being someone we are not, we are a bigger hypocrite, than people who consider sex or virginity a taboo.

No matter what our habitat is, it doesn't matter what clan of people we are surrounded with, we have to develop our own doctrines, our own opinions and our own conceptions and then accept them without any pretense.

If your values prohibit or stops you from giving away your maidenhood, then so be it. Do not command your self to go with the flow or try to tag yourself broad minded to fit it.

If you believe in losing your V card to anyone you think is right for you, then don't be a pretentious douche and blame men or sing the usual sagas of how "love" made you do it.

Again, accept your beliefs. There is nothing wrong in it.


I would like to end this prolonged chattering with this hilarious, refreshing, shocking, infuriating, disturbing, too-funny-to-be-true, invention/image.

Blessed are those who can read Hindi.

Get it? Got it? Good.


Wanderer on May 18, 2013 at 1:06 PM said...

Ah, so true, everything that you've said.

DEE DEE on May 18, 2013 at 9:20 PM said...

I feel weird when people make this O shape face and say You are a Virgin at XX age....
Im like ya, so what
n people are like "try to be experimental else your husband will find another woman who knows how to do it"
how dumb is that...he should be happy to get a virgin wife in an age where kids "do it" in college age itself

sulagna ™ on May 20, 2013 at 10:26 AM said...

i really dont understand our obsession with virginity..or rather how some men perceive it to be so critical to find the perfect wife..rubbish !! i agree with what you have written about, infact it was such a funny way of jotting down whats on our minds..and yes the image at the end "patni number 1 ban k dekhiye "

hilarious !!!

Smita on May 22, 2013 at 10:27 AM said...

Interesting !
Losing your V is not a big deal but to whom, how and when you are losing!
Before marriage or any serious thing ... men only consider it as mazaa n nothing else. while fr a girl it was all they had.

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