Love or lust, for social networking? ~ From a Nomad's Diary

(Below is a fictional conversation)

X: “Hey! Check out my selfie with my fiancée.”

Y: “Really? Shared already? Quite quick you are dear!”

X: “Oh it is…!! After all, it is my new phone and the clicking experiments are so much fun!! It feels awesome!!”

Y:”Wow! Which phone? Your pics are too good! I love your expressions!! So much of love….so much cuteness…..adorable you both are!! Awesome!!”

X: “Thanks!! Can’t believe I already have got so much likes for the pic!”

Y: “Just wait till they flood!! Ok! Got to go!! Ciao….xoxoxo!”

Why do we love the Internet? Why do we love the web? Why is this virtual world like a natural cocaine for us? Why does it feel good to reach out to people you do not know, over photos, groups, books, interests, food etcs? Why does it get more exciting when ‘xoxo’, ‘cheers’ and sweet chocolaty messages flood your timeline or your screen? The answer is so palpable!! Isn’t it?

Much has been written about how our social lives have undergone a paradigm shift and most of us find solace in ‘likes’, ‘shares’, ‘promotions’, et al. Some of us love our own pictures in different poses so much, that the expectation to get a ‘like’ is more exhilarating than waiting for that much awaited message to flash on the mobile screen on payday! A ‘selfie’ is a must for people no matter which age group one belongs to! And to start with, selfies come in various forms..different outfits and different expressions, same outfit and different expressions and then, different outfits and different apparels!! Do a math and one can calculate how active a person’s social life is in terms of friends, fans and countless unknown admirers. Even when meeting a friend or a relation in person, or maybe pitching in for potlucks and family dinners or going out with friends to a lounge or disc or even going for a long drive with family must necessarily find a mention on one’s timeline.

Is it what the word social means? To show the world that you are important just like the celebrity who does not have anything to own up as his/her. Today, each one of us in the virtual world is a celebrity of sorts, a mini to say so. “Feeling low”, “feeling blessed”, “feeling happy”, “feeling satisfied”, “slurping and burping”, “feeling lonely”, “feeling hungry”, and name the feeling, the emotions are right there on a domain where there is nothing private. The world has to know what you feel. The world has to know when you laugh, cry or get hurt (physically and mentally alike). The world also has to make sure that there are enough agony aunts and sympathetic souls out there to offer you solace, share joy and give an emotional support whenever you need. It is a world that has to essentially know everything about you, with you expecting the same.

And it is here, I am tempted to believe, we are all lonely now, lonelier than before. Be it having a buffet lunch with friends at a star rated restaurant, or dining with family at home, be it shopping in the posh malls of the city, or be it cruising away to exotic holiday destinations, the urge to share it with the virtual world has become a necessity or perhaps, an act propelled by addiction. The world must know, how happy you are. Or perhaps, is it you who wants to desperately convince self, “I am happy, no matter what!”?

But then, if one were to see the flip side of everything, pessimism would overrule all hopes on being better! And, before I sound critical of what social life has become today, let me share my second perspective. At least, I would like to believe there has been some good too. Connecting with like minded people, sharing knowledge and enriching it, picking on new hobbies and experimenting a variety of recipes on untried taste buds, exploring a spiritual side in self, home makers turning into entrepreneurs from home and a lot more, are some encouraging signs in social lives of many today. The hope to learn, the faith to achieve and the gumption to step out and pursue one’s dreams is no less than a feat for many educated home makers for whom, virtual world is surely a blessing. The catch however lies in the reigns that control the addiction to this world. And who holds the reigns, but our minds! The heart is free to feel anything but it is the mind that balances the rationale. Considering the mania that has taken over, how paramount a role shall this world play in our lives? And, for better or for worse? Only time shall tell!

Mind Oh Mind, take a break please!! ~ From a nomad's diary

Mind oh mind, take a break please…..

With thoughts galloping fast, it is hardly at ease

There is not a minute to stop and think

Even if it were, it snaps in a blink

Like a drop in the ocean, the minute lives

Until the moment it seizes what it gives

There is no definite stop in this journey of life

that hurls more curveballs with seldom respite

But, isn’t it always about the ride one takes

where destination is never the ultimate aim?

Coz, it is the spices of life that must, one enjoy,

sans the qualms that be the part of this game…..

Dark and Beautiful

It was late evening when I reached Coimbatore airport. Small airport with a lot of crowd.
Right then, 3 British women entered (I know they are British because we ended up lounging beside each other) and everyone around started to stare at them as if some alien has come out tumbling out of its space ship.

Men staring at them
Women feeling insecure already

I mean, what is this obsession about fair skin in this country?

An average Indian woman, is dusky. Its a fact and this fact is so celebrated outside India.

People in the Westerns and other "fairer" parts of the world, get treatments done, get themselves baked in the sun to get a skin tone (tan) like us.
We here are blessed with that beautiful bronze and we hate it.

There are so many women with lovely features who are dusky and get rejected in the marriage market for being "dark".
These girls are not just rejected by some uneducated dude, they are actually rejected by properly educated, working guys.

People from the south of India are ridiculed by the North people for being "black.

Why do you think the fairness creams get their businesses running for all these years?
Simple, its because a dusky girl is being told from the time she is a little about her dark skin. Mother's, Aunts, other relatives compare them with the so-called "fairer" cousins.
They keep telling her, that she won't find a job or a man to marry.

Fairness cream ad's show the exact same thing. A dusky girl, is sad has no friends, no boyfriend, no job, she uses the fairness cream and instantly becomes pink and she has friends, she has men swooning over her, a very lucrative job just on her looks and not credentials.
She has a whole freaking personality transformation just because of her skin color.

Even friends, sometimes unknowingly tease the dusky person on the color grounds.

Trust me!!
People who know me, would know that in my school days and college, I was match-stick thin and dusky.
People used to say
"you are so dark that if you walk out in the night people can see only your teeth"
"Don't touch me or else your color will pass on to mine"

I have seen so many matrimony profiles that say "Wanted bride, FAIR, well educated etc etc."
Why cant a dusky, well educated, nice, homey girl do?

Why cant our society just accept the people the way they are.
 Its the genes, the sun, the states near the equator that reflects in the skin.

So many girls whom I personally know have a low self-esteem in spite of being educated, earning well, the only reason is they are "black". If you ask me, I would say the darker, prettier, exotic skin tone.

The toxic belief that "fair is beautiful" has to be eradicated. Measuring a person's worth by their skin color is so wrong. So, very wrong.

There is more to people that their skin color.
Hope Indians really come to accept this fact some day.