My Special Someone

You are my inspiration

Having you in my life
Has revived my sleeping devotion
You are indeed a special someone

Loving you gives me hope
You have freed from all the pain I coped
All those times I gave up
You came and I stood up

Never will I forget
Every time I’m sad, 
you cheer me up
and for that I’m glad

Whenever I’m lonely
You were there for me
keeping my heart alive
with your every smile

I dedicate this poem to you
to show how much you mean to me

I love you

My special someone

I Survived

I shall always remember walking this path with you

PC: Upvenue

Today is the day you bid adieu

I wish I hadn't waited for that second and led you through the road across

I was too busy taking up calls

I saw you turn & look at me

The last look, who knew it would be

One moment is all it took

That moment when my life shook

You died, I survived

In so many years dear, I survived but every day a thousand deaths I died

Rant Post

First, I is sorry. I is landing here after eons. Why? for the past 10 months I have had a lot of good and bad changes in my life
1. I got married and will celebrate my first anniversary next month
2. I shifted cities & it took me a while to settle down
3. I got a new job & again it took me time to adjust
4. I am trying hard to learn & understand the local language & fail
5. I have put on oodles of weight, none of my pretty dresses & blouses fit anymore. I tried to work out & failed
6. I started to cook, clean & do quite a few wife-like duties everyday

So, guess I have justified my prolonged absence.

I am in Bengaluru, all my friends are away, the friends I have made here are mostly wives or new-mommies so they have recipes & baby talks to share & seriously I need someone to party with.
My husband doesn't dance so, this city has some amazing pubs & lounges and I dance alone & feel stupid after a while.
I took up hobbies quilled a few pretty earrings, crocheted a pretty tie up beach sandals, I started to learn zumba and then the instructor ran off and I am out of ideas.

I mean seriously, do all married girls only talk about what they cooked, what they did with their husbands, when are they planning babies?
What happened to those, OMG such a cute boy talks?
What happened to did you see the final GoT episode?
What happened to lets go party this Wednesday ladies night?

Everyone might have a different perspective, but its my opinion, to not get the husband involved in everything.
yes, you love him, but dude, get some time out for yourself. Go for a ladies spa evening, a high tea, gossip, laugh over silly things

That is the only hing I miss of my bygone single life & a flat tummy also I do miss
This sounds like a rant post right?

Adios, pretty ladies

Life Lessons from Tanu Weds Manu Returns

Pic Courtesy: Google Images / zingtv.in

Last evening I saw this movie 'Tanu Weds Manu Returns". Kangana Ranaut is outstanding, Outstanding is a very small word to describe her performance. A new hero is born, The hero is Kangana

This is not a movie review post, its something that the movie gave lessons about, just a few dialogues say a lot

1. "Weekdays pe 4 kabootar, 4 racoon k alava kuch nahi hota"
Seriously, that's true, You live in a foreign country, your husband goes away to work. You don't have family there. There is this timezone difference, when you are awake, your family and friends here are asleep. You can't get a job easily. You don't have a maid, a iron guy, a milkman, a car wash guy so you do everything on your own. Your have been there long and have gone to most of the nearby places.
Nothing else to do except for everyday monotony. Its bound to make an person irritable and nagging
People may show a rosy picture of the country on Facebook, but reality might be different

2. 'chaar saal mei 1st year acha tha, fir ye aadmi apna asli rang dikhane laga"
First year of marriage is always the best, happy, fun, roaming, lots of sex, regularly eating out, weekly movies. But, later, say after 2-3-4 years there are kids, a new house, its EMI's, parents to take care of, a career to take care of
I don't say that the fun part goes out of the window, but it does reduce.
Expecting the same things that you had during the honeymoon phase or courtship phase is dumb

This movie also shows many other things,

1. Love is the base of any relationship.
Every relationships have fights. The trick is to come to a conclusion in those fights. Prolonging those fights doesn't take you anywhere. Fight. Talk, Shout. End and never speak about it again

2. Marriage counselors are not bad news
Getting married is no big deal, staying married requires effort.
If the couple, can't sort issues by themselves, its not wrong to consult a marriage counselor.
Its just like, you fall sick, you self medicate, you don't get alright and you visit a doctor

3. Never change yourself after marriage
Your partner married you knowing exactly what you are. They love you for what you are and not what you have turned into.
Tanu becomes this lone girl after marriage whereas she is this bubbly, chirpy girl before her marriage and she become one as soon as she comes back.

4. Communicate
Many relationships fall apart because of misunderstandings.
Talk to your partner,
"I am angry I wont talk"
 "let him / her come and talk"
 'Why should I go first, is his fault"
No, relationships don't work that way.
Ego and love cannot go well together, burst that ego bubble, talk it out and sort it out else some third person will come in and create a mess of your relation
Eg: This Chintu guy, sends a divorce notice without Tanu's consent and Tanu didn't call and clarify to Manu on it

5. As far as possible, sort issues between yourself before involving a third party or another family member
After Manu is pushed in the mental hospital, Tanu could have gone there are bailed him out instead of calling his friend to London
Manu might have been angry for a while, but later he would realize that Tanu got him out of that hospital because she loves him

6. Keep your friends close 
At the time of crisis, Tanu's ex-boyfriend now-friend Raja was her biggest support. Your friends will have your back even after you being a real ass with them

7. Test tube baby is not a sin
in today's world, with all the stress involved, the health might take a toll and there might be various reasons to not conceiving naturally.
Its not wrong to take medical help to have a baby.

8. Rebound is bad news
Just because you had a massive showdown with your spouse doesn't mean you rush into another relationship as a revenge. Its not just wrong to your spouse, its wrong for the person whom you have a relationship too.

9. Parents want the best for their kids.
Manu's mom shouts ar Tanu for leaving him in a mental hospital
Any mom would, its obvious. Her baby is in trouble.
You break an egg on your brother's head, its obvious your mom is going to give you a long lecture for half a day, till you go and hug her.

10. Not all in-laws are monsters
Manu's mom and dad, support Tanu all the while. They shout at her but still care for their daughter-in-law

11. Love cant be forced
This guy Manu's friend goes all the way to Punjab for the girl he loves, who simply says that she sees him only as a friend. He tries to even kidnap her, but even after all this she did not love him.
Love cant be forced, it just happens

12. Love conquers all
Love hurts
Love brings happiness
Love brings tears
Love in the end makes everything alright

So that's all folks!

Sunglasses

*knock knock* "hey" is all I said
Her back was to the door but she didn't have to turn to see who it was, she knew me just too well to recognize my voice "hey" she said

"Woah, what tha...I mean..you are looking like a girl today"
She quips "I have to, its my wedding dumbo, by the way, how am i looking?"

"Not bad, too much gold, why do you think I am wearing sunglasses"

She hits my arm are walks away carrying that heavily embellished lehenga of hers "Looking dumb with those sunglasses" her voice trials away

Why am I wearing sunglasses, I think to myself?
'Pretty girl, I am wearing sunglasses to hide my feelings"
"I am sorry, I hurt you when you were readily giving me your heart"
"I am sorry, I broke your heart when you said I love you"
"I am sorry to walk away holding someone else's hand when you had tears in your eyes because of me"

I realized I love you, I always have. But, I realized it too late.

Today, I see you waving me good bye, I feel my heart tearing apart. I see you walking to a man who is adoringly looking at you, and I have knots of the size of a football in my stomach.
Have you fallen out of love for me? Or have you given up on me?"

She turns to me and smiles.

My girl, All I want to do now is to run to you a take her in my arms and tell you how much I love you
I lost the diamond in search of rocks.

Baby girl, I am wearing this glasses to hide my tears, when right now I want to hug you and weep on your lap"

Me feet feel like stones when I walk towards you "You are looking stunning honey" I mean every word girl.

I'm wearing these sunglasses because its a horrible feeling to see you go away forever.
Good bye Sweetheart!

"The hardest thing in the world is to see the one you love with they one they love"

True Love is...

Doc: "Your BP is high, Cholesterol is high, Are you taking the medicines are prescribed?"
Ram: "Yes, Chitra my wife makes sure that I do" *Looks at his wife Chitra*
Doc to Chitra "Chitraji, the medicines are not really working. You have to take care of his diet too"
Chitra 'I do doctor, but he doesn't it anything, he has just lost his appetite and hates healthy food"

On the dinner table, Ram refuses all the healthy meal that Chitra has made. this goes on for a few days.
Ram: "I hate this saltless, boiled veggies"
Chitra "Well, we need to get that BP in control right"

Secretly, everyday Ram goes out and has samosas, chaats, batata vadas, and Chitra poor thing, makes all the healthy food that Ram keeps rejecting.

Dejected Chitra, walks down to the market and catches Ram red handed with a plate of Onion bhajiyas.
Guilt ridden Ram, doesn't have the guts to go home.
He roams around the streets all day thinking
"Cmon, i cant have that boiled food, I am no patient"
"She dictates too much, i am not going to go home"
"Today is the last day of her commanding me what to eat. Divorce it is"
"I wont go home this time, the divorce papers will"

Its 11.30pm, Ram thinks "Its almost midnight, she must have slept, will go home and check"

He enters the house, switches on the light and sees Chitra sitting on the dinner table.
Guity Ram, looks down, he just cant get enough guts to face Chitra. He knows what Chitra did is for his own good. On the table he sees a letter and a covered plate.

The letter says "If you want to have poison, you should have told me, I would have given it to you instead of hogging out"

Courtesy: Google Images

Ram lifts the cover over the plate, it has bhaiyas, jalebis, vadas, pizza. Ram pushes the plate away.

Ram sheepishly looks at Chitra and holds his ears, looking like the Puss in Boots from the movie Shrek. Seeing him, Chitra's heart melts and she smiles and says "Even after 40 years, I just can be angry at you if you make that baby face sweetheart" and gives Ram a bowl of boiled veggies and his medicine.

Ram pics up one boiled broccoli and raises a toast with his fork "For you smile, my lovely wife"

True love is Forgive and Forget is the key, 
Sometimes something tasteless can bring a dash of spice into your life.

Its a true story inspired by my parents

Confessions: I am rich, I want to be wealthy

I'm 30 (Yes! I don't feel the need to lie about me age because I feel sexier than ever). That's not the point here.

I came here to pen the thoughts that I am having for a while now.
Like every typical human being, who is running a rat-race called life, I did my Grad then Post Grad and got a lucrative job in a creme position, that pays something.

For me, money has never been a priority. Its important but was never topped my list
Off late I see people of my age or younger with so much materialistic pleasures.
Now I see myself wishing that I had more.

People say inner peace is important, but what if I already have inner peace.
What if I want materialistic pleasures now?

Like I am here, trying to save peanut skins out of the peanut size salary, and there I see people spending shit loads on things that they don't need.
I know a girl, who buys things from designer dresses to cars to compete with her peers and many a times doesn't even use those things, just throws it in 2 months.
And here I am, I use clothes for atleast a year, and keep it as a night-suit after it totally worn out

I don't want to think before spending.
I want to buy what i feel like instead of sighing and consoling myself 'Next month pakka i shall buy that"
I want to take a loan not because I need it I want to take a loan to save taxes
I don't want to give up all my pleasures once I start paying a big EMI
I want to take a vacation without planning a budget
I want a designer home, and not a DIY home
I want those fancy looking lights, a fountain and 3 maids to take care of my house.
I want to buy those organic stuff that are three times more priced than normal stuff
I want to go to Bora Bora and not drop my jaws seeing the ticket and the stay price
I want to work as a hobby and not just for money (though i love my job but in the end of the day its money)

When I stand in a petrol bunk, I see an Audi or a land cruiser, I do not see cars, I automatically see the down payment of the house I so wished was mine.

I went to a Louie Vuitton showroom out of curiosity and asked for the price of a dumb looking clutch. The attendant refused to tell me the price, it was insulting. it was as if "dude, you really think you can afford it?"
I was a bitch enough to not leave the store until I knew the price. And no surprises here, that dumb looking clutch was Rs. 59000/-
I mean I have no purse, worth a 5 digit figure.

I want to be wealthy

I want my signature to be an autograph

I know rich and wealthy is different.
I have a rich life, love, family, peace, smiles...now I want money too

Sometimes

Some relationships are strange

Like ours,

Sometimes we are friends
Sometimes we are lovers
Sometimes we are just strangers to each other

Sometimes we can share so many things even in silence
Sometimes even many words don't say anything

Sometimes only "I'm there for you" is needed
Sometimes being there isn't enough
Sometimes "I love you" seems so true
Sometimes "Leave me alone" feels like a lie

Sometimes one hug from you makes the world seem alright
Sometimes even nicest gift from you doesn't bring a smile

Sometimes...in life..relationships are strange..

Love is...

Love, Its such a small word and is such a powerful feeling.
I never knew that I had the capability to love someone so much and be loved back more than I have ever expected.

In my past, I have been in what I though was love. It wasn't, now i know that for sure.It might have been very strong attraction, a lot of like, big infatuation but not love.

Love is when someone has tears in his eyes, in front of his family and friends, on his own wedding mandap, when he saw me cry in my father's arms.

Love is when he holds my hand tight, when he knows I might breakdown anytime while bidding good-bye to my parents.

Love is, when no matter how far, he comes to pick you up despite him having prior commitments.

Love is, when he calls 10 times a day, just to make sure you aren't lonely.

Love is when he wants you to go out independently in a new city, but still subtly tells you that he is there whenever I need him.

Love is fighting and making up over a cup of coffee.

Love is, when you cough in the middle of the night and he who is lying beside you is all alert and asks "you ok? need something?"

Love is, when the kitchen shelf bangs, and he comes running in to see if I am ok.

Love is, when he tries everything in his hands to make you comfortable.

Love is when, he tries real hard to plan surprises for you.

Love is when you know that he is there.

Love is that,silent side glances while he is driving.

Love is holding hands on the car gear.

Love is, laughing over stupid jokes.

Love is, keeping each other annoying animal names.

Love is, to see him smile when he sees his lunch box.

Love is, that warm hug on a cold night.

Love is, him wrapping a blanket around you just because you were "looking" as if you were freezing to him.

Love is, that smile he has pasted on his face, when he sees you. (Such smiles are reserved only for you)

Love is when you both act stupid together.

Love is, when  he books a ticket for your parents as a surprise for you, just because you said you are missing your parents.

Love is us.

Its a great feeling be loved by the person you love.

Daddy and his baby

It is said that a girl is closer to her father than to her mother. 

For a daughter, a mother is an epitome of discipline, whereas, a father is like her partner in crime! 

There is special bond that a girl shares with her father; after all, he is the first man in her life. And, she is always a little princess to him. 

From infant to toddler to pre-teen to teen, a father sees the apple of his eye grow up from a little baby to a pretty woman.
From a little girl in pony tails to an elegant lady in a saree

But what happens when the time to search for her groom arrives. Dads start having the feeling of losing their gorgeous little princess overnight to some stranger who may or may not keep his angel happy. 

The mere thought of giving away his daughter to a person who he barely knows or has probably just met, starts giving him restless nights.  

From the start of seeing the groom, to the marriage preparations to the main ceremony. I am sure father's might be going through different emotions.

The excitement in his daughters eyes while shopping, the smile when she is talking to her fiance, the sad face when she doesn't get the exact shade of what she wants.
It makes him very happy as well as sad, to think that the time for her to leave him is coming nearer.

  

On the day of her marriage, all the memories from her childhood to now, even those forgotten memories flash through his life, like a photo album. 

During the Kanyadaan, father goes through a wave of emotion in this biggest moment of his and his daughter's life. That moment when its time for him to finally accept that there is going to be another man who will love her and protect her.

Silently, he wishes that this man loves, cares and protects his daughter more than daddy can does. 

When his daughter steps out of  her parents house as "Miss" to become a "Mrs" she leaves a gazillion memories in that house.

With tears in her eyes, when she turns back, she sees a man standing in the corner with sad red eyes, trying hard not to cry.
When she comes and hugs him, he doesn't see the bride, the grown up woman but he sees the little girl who used to hug him. He sees his little baby.

And a single tear rolls out from his eyes.

He is the father of the bride

Daddy's are always the daughter's first hero -Google Quote
A son is a son till he finds a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life-Google Quote 

Original Post: http://indiandramaqueen.blogspot.in/2014/10/daddy-and-his-baby.html
I really wanted to share this post here, since there are a lot of girls here and would understand the sentiments. 
Thanks Maithili for letting me post from my blog.

Lastly, Happy Diwali all you pretty ladies

Do Not Disturb

Some situations when people should clearly not talk to me

Scene #1

There I'm standing in a crowded train with my earphones on,dancing in my head.
Suddenly I see this lady saying something,and staring at me expecting me to react.
It seems she asked me where I burnt my hand.
I take the pain of fishing my phone out of my bag,wriggling in that crowd. Hitting pause. Removing my earphones and explain that it isn't a burn.
By then everyone around is more interested in me and staring at me like I am a freak.
Lady, Earphones stuck in the ear = Do Not Disturb Mode

Scene #2

I'm on my phone, animatedly talking or just talking, and you come and start talking to me or giving background inputs for my call.
I know what to talk, I don't need to be taught.
Like seriously,I got 2 ears and one head only. I can hear my caller and you but I can concentrate on either. Thanks to you.

Scene #3

I'm playing a game, in full concentration.
Enough Said.

Scene #4

I am in a movie hall. I want to watch the movie.
I do not want your expert tips.
I am not blind I can see, so I do not need you running commentary.
And we are in a movie hall, and that is the exact place that you decide to tell me your sob story.
Why couldn't you rant about that in the coffee shop, when you were fidgeting with your damn phone.

Scene #5

I am getting a massage. I need peace. So, keep quitet.

Scene #6

I am sleeping. I have no idea you sneaked into my room.I certainly do not want you screaming in my ears.

In all the scenes, trust me peeps I would be murdering you, if I wasn't so very nice.
Meri acchai ka fayda na uthao

You Are a Girl

"This is so unladylike"
"Wear something longer, cover your legs, is this how you sit at home"
"Learn to cook, else your in laws will say parents have taught nothing to the girl"
"Why is that neckline so deep"
"Wear a salwar kameez, we are traveling by 2AC remember"
"Let your brother go, he is a boy. You cant go its 10pm already"
"She is in one of "those" days"

Are these phrases familiar?
I am a woman, I have breasts, I have a vagina. But,  that doesn't make me any less human. Does it?
Yes, I wear a bra. Doesn't mean that I expect you to judge my size.
I go through PMS, mood swings, cramps, cravings, periods every month. That doesn't make me any unpure than I was a few days back.

I get stared upon, I get whistles, I get comments, I get groped from men of varied age group.
Doesn't matter what outfit I'm in. Doesn't matter what time of the day it is. I'm like a public property.
If I wear or act like myself, and "Myself" may differ from the conceptions of different people, then I'm bound to get teased and raped. I asked for it. Just because I don't fit the bill of a "normal girl" its OK for me to be leered at.
I am a girl, I can't party alone. I have to have a male company. And not just any male company, it has to be my brother, father or husband.
I'm a characterless slut if I go out dancing with my guy friends.

A guy proposes me, I reject him. I invite him to throw acid on my and ruin my life.
I propose a guy, I an easy girl.
I stay in a urban city, travel places alone, well, according to the people staying in not-so-urban cities I must be sleeping and making out with everyone and not the "marriage material".

I get promoted. I am sleeping with my boss. I have no talent of my own, I have no achievements in my career. My only achievement is I have a vagina.
My would-be husband may have had a gazellion girlfriends, and might have visited Bangkok many times. But, if I have fallen in love when I was younger. I was a bad girl and not worthy to carry a heir of another family in my womb.

I get married. My parents have tried their best to give me everything. They provided me the best education and values. But, I couldn't give my in-laws money. I have the right to be thrown out or burnt alive.
I have a baby. I have a cute little girl. But, I should have had a son. Its only my fault that I don't have a son. Its not my husband's fault. I and my daughter deserve no home.

I lose my husband. I am coping up with his death. I deserve to be treated as a dead human too. No good dresses, no colors, no good food, no attending any functions. Yes, I have to be treated as a corpse, because I am a woman.

Why is this world like this?
Why cant a woman celebrate individuality?
Why are we women all about tits and ass only?
Why are we treated as objects?

All these talks about women's liberation, is in the end of the day just talks.
Even good educated families put their restrictions on women, to look good in the society.
From her attire to her lifestyle, nothing is her choice. Its just the society's norm.
If she tries to take  a different route, either she is tagged with some vulgar name, raped, or killed.

I hope, my daughter or my grand daughter or my great grand daughter would live in a world where she lives like herself.

Dark and Beautiful

It was late evening when I reached Coimbatore airport. Small airport with a lot of crowd.
Right then, 3 British women entered (I know they are British because we ended up lounging beside each other) and everyone around started to stare at them as if some alien has come out tumbling out of its space ship.

Men staring at them
Women feeling insecure already

I mean, what is this obsession about fair skin in this country?

An average Indian woman, is dusky. Its a fact and this fact is so celebrated outside India.

People in the Westerns and other "fairer" parts of the world, get treatments done, get themselves baked in the sun to get a skin tone (tan) like us.
We here are blessed with that beautiful bronze and we hate it.

There are so many women with lovely features who are dusky and get rejected in the marriage market for being "dark".
These girls are not just rejected by some uneducated dude, they are actually rejected by properly educated, working guys.

People from the south of India are ridiculed by the North people for being "black.

Why do you think the fairness creams get their businesses running for all these years?
Simple, its because a dusky girl is being told from the time she is a little about her dark skin. Mother's, Aunts, other relatives compare them with the so-called "fairer" cousins.
They keep telling her, that she won't find a job or a man to marry.

Fairness cream ad's show the exact same thing. A dusky girl, is sad has no friends, no boyfriend, no job, she uses the fairness cream and instantly becomes pink and she has friends, she has men swooning over her, a very lucrative job just on her looks and not credentials.
She has a whole freaking personality transformation just because of her skin color.

Even friends, sometimes unknowingly tease the dusky person on the color grounds.

Trust me!!
People who know me, would know that in my school days and college, I was match-stick thin and dusky.
People used to say
"you are so dark that if you walk out in the night people can see only your teeth"
"Don't touch me or else your color will pass on to mine"

I have seen so many matrimony profiles that say "Wanted bride, FAIR, well educated etc etc."
Why cant a dusky, well educated, nice, homey girl do?

Why cant our society just accept the people the way they are.
 Its the genes, the sun, the states near the equator that reflects in the skin.

So many girls whom I personally know have a low self-esteem in spite of being educated, earning well, the only reason is they are "black". If you ask me, I would say the darker, prettier, exotic skin tone.

The toxic belief that "fair is beautiful" has to be eradicated. Measuring a person's worth by their skin color is so wrong. So, very wrong.

There is more to people that their skin color.
Hope Indians really come to accept this fact some day.

To Do Or Not To Do

I'm in such a juncture of my life where on one side I have "happily" married or pretend to be happily married couples..and on the other side I have late 20's and 30 somethings singles..

Well, I have always been a very patient listener to all my buddies...
Reason? simple..i love to listen to the saga's other people's life..Basically I love gossip.

I  am perfectly happy with my "i-dunno-whats-happening" relationship status until my 30 something spinster girl buddy make a "Droopy dog" like face and rants saying
"Dee, I want to get married"
"Dee, I need a companion"
"Dee, its high time you settle down before your biological clock stops ticking"
"Dee, settle down with who ever comes along...your too old to stick to your checklist"

I mean..woahhh..ok..I know you are going nuts and paranoid..but please don't let it get on to others...you make me feel like a lonely old lady with a black cat in a mansion that's always dark and lightening falling only on my mansion...

Why cant you see the happy part of your life?
No responsibilities...No one to answer...Attention from every eligible/not eligible opposites..
Besides marriage is just a legal license for sex...and babies...love comes when you  both are like 40 or 50 only (its a proven fact)..

Then I have my "married" buddies of every stage i.e. newly married, 2 years married, married with toddlers, married and pregnant....you get the picture right..

They drool all over me talking about exotic vacations....the "romp"...the shopping...and also whine about
"i loved my single life"..
"i hate to get up in the morning and cook"
"my kid keeps crying all night"
"sorry i cant come for the night out like before ya...you know my mishtarr doesn't like it" things...

And that.....makes me feel that I am missing out on something...or am i really missing anything at all?

but then for some reason I'm least bothered about both kinds of buddies...wondering why?

Maybe I'm so saturated with both that my head has stopped responding either of them...
Have made peace with myself...whooosssaaaaaa.....

I feel so blessed now..Or maybe I am in a simple denial mode

Dialogs for my kinda state
1. Duniya gai tel lagane..
2. Bhaad mei jaaye...
3. mara jaa...
4. To hell with it..
5. Yeah..ok..well...huh...what?

Moms aren't Moms they are Super Mom's

4 weeks back, my mom had a fall at home, after which she had a small surgery and had her left hand plastered for 4 weeks.

Now, me being "the girl" of the family, obviously, I am her successor in doing the household chores.

Incidentally, around the same time, the maid of my house ran off for her summer vacation leaving me alone.

Trust me, in so many years, I only cook on weekends or when no one is at home and I cook all exotic dishes.

Now, suddenly
Cleaning the house
Washing clothes
Washing the dishes
Cooking
Going to work
Taking care of mom (since she couldn't do a thing by herself)

Exhausted, is a very small word to describe the feeling. I felt like breaking down and crying so many times.

My nice, supportive family quietly ate any crap I made.
God, What to make? What not to make everyday is another big pain on the wrong side.

Go buy veggies
Clean and Cut them
Search Google and find an easy recipe
Cook
Mess up the taste
Feel bad, then give up

Super Mom to the Rescue

I have no idea how our mom's did it. And the kind of nasty kid that I was, I would have strangled myself. How the hell did she manage to do all this,

cook
clean
get the little maniac me ready
endure all my dad's tantrums
drop me in the baby-sitting,
go to work,
quietly endure a monster mother-in-law,
attend all the family obligations
keep family happy and
still smile

If i were her I would have gone insane or wailed or just given up and walked off

Our Moms aren't Mom's they are Super-Mom's

21 Gun Salutes to All the Mothers in this world
Respects

Photo Credit: Google Images

Ex

Who exactly do you define as ex?
Someone you dated for a period, it didn't work out and you parted ways in good terms or bad terms.
The ones who were your boyfriend /girlfriend  and you guys were in a relationship and broke up and either are just friends now or not in touch at all.

But, what about those, whom you flirted with in that mini-vacation in Goa, so much so that a stranger might think you guys are an item.
What about those with whom you went out for a couple of times and then lost touch?
What about those whom you had a crazy crush on for many many years, who was your bestest friend then and you have imagined a fairytale life with them but they never reciprocated and are not friends anymore?
What about that person whom you were with, until he suddenly left you for another girl?
What about that person whom you used to totally swoon on but never had the guts to express it?

This people aren't technically ex-bfs/ex-gfs but they are ex-something?
So, are these ex-something's considered as ex's?

These somethings are sure to stir up some feeling when their names come up.

(Am sure you reading this might be having a few people in your head now)

That small pang of jealousy when they post a picture with their new partner
That little smile when they "Like" a picture of yours, you get this feeling that maybe you are still on their mind
That frustration when the first name that springs up is theirs when you are searching for someone else
That butterfly feeling when you see an old pic of you guys together in some old laptop

Its inescapable in this digital age, with Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp and mutual friends, they are bound to spring up somewhere, sometime in life.

Just because you did not date, doesn't mean you weren't intimate. Physically or Emotionally
There could have been real feelings for them, that feeling may not be "love" but it was "like-love-attraction"
You could have been imagining a future with them before it all drained away, but that feeling you had for them just cannot be discounted because it was only a month or so.
You may never see any of these people again, You may not even remember their names but they’re still exes. The intimacy was real, it just came without any sort of commitment.

A toast to those Ex-Something's

That's the way it was meant to be. Isn't it?

A toast to all those Ex's and their memories

Someone I can't have

I love her because she doesn't belong in my world

I am protective about her, for I know my deeds might kill her

She is my sunshine and that's why I keep her away from my dark alley life

Some girls are good, Some girls are bad

She comes in mixed flavors

She is the best I have ever had

My life is about cars, drugs and money

With her my life is about, flowers, smiles and love

Most of my acts instill fear in people,

It takes me more courage to love her and not lose her

Girls come, girls go

Girls warm my bed,

The condoms in my bed stand gets used

But, its her I want to keep safe

Its her I want to kiss good night

Its her, my love, whom I can never have

Monstrosity

I was in a mood for short scary stories so I thought maybe I should write a something that comes in my mind impromptu,
I started penning down stories as and when it came on my mind, and I had promised myself that I would publish this post when I finish my 10th horror story

P.S: Try to imagine the situation when you are reading each story

2nd Nov 2013, Story 1
I woke up and saw the alarm clock, It was  2.30am. I know I heard a know. It was crystal clear. I went near the door to check who it was at this ungodly hour.
Then the knock came again, this time louder and it was from the mirror

15th Nov 2013, Story 2
For as long as I have been staying in this house, I have heard footsteps, I have heard someone crying, I have heard people talking in muffled voices.
I have told that to my friends many times only to be laughed at.
That night I heard my friend call my name, I went down the stairs to see her transfixed by the door.
She turned to me and said "I didn't hear them, I saw them" and pointed at someone standing in my hall.

29th Nov 2013, Story 3
I woke up to my boyfriend's voice and him shaking me awake saying there is an intruder in the house.
I'm up for sure, and sweaty and scared to death
I live alone and my boyfriend was murdered by an intruder 2 years ago.

3rd Dec 2013, Story 4
My dog, Dino has this fixation for my face, whenever I am at home he keeps staring at me face. I thought it was quite cute until I realized that he keeps staring behind me.

9th Dec 2013, Story 5
There is nothing more beautiful than the laughter of a baby..
Unless you are at home alone and its 1am

29th Dec 2013, Story 6
That night little Mary came on to the bed and whisper in Daddy's ears 'Daddy I cant sleep'
And Daddy hugged her
Until he realised that he hugged the same dress that Mary was buried in 3 days ago

15th Jan 2014, Story 7
Sheila tucked her 4 year old daughter Mira into bed as usual when her daughter turned to her and says "Mommy, I'm scared, someone is under my bed"
Sheila smiles and looks under the bed, down she sees Mira's saying "Mommy, there is someone sitting on my bed"
When Sheila looks back up. there is a black cloud of smoke with claws.
Sheila was found dead in Mira's room the next morning and Mira is still missing.

5th Feb 2014, Story 8
Mishka had a tiring day at work. All she wanted to do was go her empty home and relax.She reached home, throws her bag on the couch and reaches for the light switch, only to realize that there is another had that reached out to the switch

20th Feb 2014, Story 9
After a hard working day, Jack comes home to see his wife cradling his child.
Its difficult to say what gave him the heart attack.
Was it that some one has broke-in to his empty house 
Was it to see his dead wife and his still born at 1am?

14th March 2014, Story 10
I woke up to the constant vibrations of my phone that was next to my pillow.
I saw the "Gallery Images" section open.
There was a picture of me, sleeping, that was taken a few minutes back..
I live alone at home.


There finishes my "Dus Kahaaniya "

Picture courtesy: Google Images

But, he said "I love you"

12th December 2009

I am sitting here staring at the computer screen.
An email open in front of me.

To anyone else it would look like just another email. For me it was different
It was the wedding card of the man I loved the most.
The man I have dreamt of living a life with every waking hour.
It gave a very bitter taste in my mouth to read someone elses name in the place where I have pictured mine to be.

There was a link of wedding website in the email too.
They say "curiosity kills the cat". This time it hit me real hard and I opened the site "Mayan Goya weds Ishjal Frakha" was written in big bole cursive letters
Beneath the title was the story of how they met.
I realised, the man who promised me love, promised it to someone else too.
The places, their meeting points mentioned there were the places where we held hands and promised togetherness.
The way he proposed her was they way I had described my dream proposal to him.

There was a picture of them holding hands, hugging, him kissing her forehead.

A bile rose in my stomach.
I wanted to throw up all the bottled emotions that have rotted without proper nurturing.

Its a weird feeling knowing soon he will officially be a husband. ...someone elses husband

I want to scream out loud, I want to shed every unshed tear, I want to rip off every emotion I have for him, I want him to know that he has hurt me real bad, I want him to know am breaking inside
But, I sit here silently penning down my feelings.

19th January 2014

Now, stumbling over this letter hidden in between my files makes me feel how dumb I was then
Why did I cry over someone who wasn't worth anything
Karma is a darling when she is on your side,
But, it surely doesnt make me a bitch when I get this sadistic pleasure to hear that he is going through a traumatic divorce because she was caught cheating on him.
Maybe this is what is called 'What goes around comes around"


Image Courtesy: Google Images

A Silent Thank you

I know a lady, a gem of a person for a really long time..like really really long.

When I looked up, I saw her smile at me. She clapped, I could see it, She wanted me to react to it. But, I couldn't.
When I was about 2, her husband left her because of me. I couldn't really tell what happened but I could guess the expressions even then.

She was there with me, rock solid. She was determined to get me through my life, like I was.
Silence was my life.

Yes! I cant hear. I am deaf.

No.. No.. don't give me that pity expression, don't doubt my capabilities.

I was made fun of at a normal school, I could read, I could write, I could feel, I could lip read.
But, all people saw was I was deaf. I used sign language.
I knew one more global language. The smile language.
Its that language that the lady taught me.

I grew up, I got pity, I got snarl mean remarks, I didn't hear any. I just walked by like nothing happened. Because I didn't know if anything happened behind my back.
She heard everything, she felt much more than I felt. But, she didn't show it to me. She knew her smile was my strength.
I love to party, go out with friends, I don't hear the music, But i can feel its vibrations through the air. I can feel music and it feels good to me. She taught me feel music, she taught me to read the lyrics.

When a non-sign language using person walks up to me and starts talking, I tell them I am deaf. They have a big doubt look on their face, and they fumble. Its funny to watch. When they are hesitant to talk to me, I choose to be ignorant and walk away.

Things do hurt me. But, she taught me that I'm blessed. I don't hear anything harsh about anyone.

Thank you in Sign language

I have no reason to be angry. Even, if i am angry, I scream..maybe I'm loud..but who cares? I cant hear a thing.

But, today I write this to thank my the woman who has gone through hell for me.
The woman whose partner left her because of me
The woman who taught me to live life with a smile
The woman who was my ears to the world.

I want to tell her, its because of her that Im here and Im very very happy in my silent life.

Thank you Mom!!!!




Picture Courtesy: Google Images