April 26, 2012

Mistress of the Universe?

Posted by Wings of Harmony at 12:22 AM

Blessed Be My Darlings! 

Remember Me? Not wondering where I've been? I have no idea where I am and what I am doing. I am not even lazing around, but I not even climbing mountains or parting rivers. My vanity has been now addressed publicly as an issue of grave human behavioral threat and I am trying my best to get over myself. Not getting what I am sayin'?

Self`-con`ceit´ed 
Adj. 1. self-conceited - characteristic of false pride; having an exaggerated sense of self-importance; (From http://www.thefreedictionary.com )

a.1. Having an overweening opinion of one's own powers, attainments; vain; conceited. (Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary)

Exactly my point. I have a disease now, that this word suggests. I am vain and I give myself wayyyyy too much importance, than is necessary. So, help me please. I am not afraid to go to the root of this issue, and if I can get some suggestions here, I am more than happy to oblige.

Image Source: cartoonstock.com
1. I am big - in size. So are many people. But God has gifted me with a pretty face. I hide my loathing for my own body by enhancing what I have. My face. I know, I look good. If I talk about how my new hair cut suits me, does that make me, vain?
2. I am the oldest child, like many others here - I've always tried to learn quickly, be the responsible one...unconsciously may be, I don't know. Therefore, there are some things, I do better than the others I stay with, who are younger than I am. If I need a bit of appreciation, is that wrong?
3. I was ignored and intimidated as a kid. Not intentionally of course. I was bullied in school when I was younger, rather I was a timid child. I had no friends. Now that I do, I tend to talk about myself, so that the attention doesn't disappear. Do I have an ADD*?
4. I am ready to change. So when you are talking and I am not listening, you can ask me, with love of course, to stop. Tell me, that I am doing that thing again. Believe me, I will stop. Make me feel like you are there for me, even when I am not talking, show me that you are interested in me and not what I've achieved. Be patient with me. If you are my friend, you will understand.
5. I crave for attention. I never got it before. I never had balls to go out there and stand up for myself. I have always been too self - conscious. I talk about myself and I talk a lot, just to make myself feel better. It's that simple. Be patient with me. I am learning to love myself and not depend on you.
6.What or who you were as a child, doesn't define you anymore. Something I am learning. Just be with me. Help me believe in myself. And tomorrow, you may feel proud of me, that you made me become a better person.
7. Don't get mad at me if I don't listen to you. Realize, I am dealing with an issue - about myself. Once again, I may happen to not listen to you. Ask me to stop, patiently or ask me to listen to you. I will make an effort, I promise.
Image Source: cartoonstock,com
I am writing this, because off late, a lot of people have told me that I only talk about myself and what is happening in my life. I also sometimes, interrupt ongoing conversations to make my point. Since the time I've been told this, I find myself doing it more. Or may be, I am just becoming conscious of the fact that I am indeed doing it. I have been feeling quite awful and feel confused about how I must talk without sounding like I am vain. Help?

6 comments:

Shreya on April 26, 2012 at 10:08 AM said...

Sweetheart...you're a blogger....we kinda are all about us aren't we?!?! ;)

Oh well...worst case...at least you know about it now, which is kind of the important part. Dontcha think?

Mystical Skeptical Me on April 26, 2012 at 10:39 AM said...

@Shreya: :D :D :D Thank you... It's just that this whole thing is getting to me... I don't know what to do... Good thing is, as you said, I know about it now... best I can do is to keep myself in check. :| :D

Priyanka Kamath on April 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM said...

I can totally understand what you mean.. Infact, via this post, I realise we are leading such similar lives..
I am a big girl with a pretty face..
I am the first birth of my generation..
It is all parallel ! Trust me ! And with that I also mean emotionally..

I can totally, totally understand where you are right now !:)

Kudos to being self-conceited. Sometimes, it is okay you know to make yourself feel better when everyone else is too busy to notice you're worth all the attention :)

Mystical Skeptical Me on April 27, 2012 at 9:04 AM said...

@Priyanka: *Bear Hug* :D :D :D :D Thank you for understanding... I wasn't tying to justify, for I am ready to change...but sometimes, we do need to buck ourselves up when everyone is ready to pull you down at single misstep. :D I am glad, you can related to me. We can talk :D :D :D

Raumali Dasgupta on April 27, 2012 at 1:34 PM said...

Hey that's completely me!! And I can understand that sometimes you might be a little upset with what people say and with yourself...

But then we are what we are, that makes us unique, and there;s no wrong in praising what's good, what's nice. So why can't we praise ourselves? :)

And those people need to know that until we appreciate what we are, we can't appreciate others..

Btw you know, a lot of people say they like me, even when I talk about myself because that's the proof of a clean and innocent heart. There's no complexity :) <3

So cheer up!!! :D :D :D

Mystical Skeptical Me on April 27, 2012 at 6:24 PM said...

@Raumail: :D :D :D What do I say? You have made me feel much better... you know... really! And many people like me too...yet, I had this thing really bugging me. :| :D But thankyou! *Tight Hug* :D

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