April 7, 2012

Story to Tell !

Posted by Darlings of Venus at 4:23 PM

Who was your hero when you were 5? Who was the first man you have known to ‘be a man’? Who was your inspiration when you were young? For most girls, the answer is ‘Father’.
Was it the same for me? Absolutely, yes!! Every girl loves her father. At some point of time in her growing years, she wanted her to be partner to be like him. She sees so many good things in him. She is the apple of his eyes and he is her only Hero. Was it the same for me? Answer is still a big ‘Yes’.
But from then on to her early teens now. She now understands the cruelty of the world. She now sees thing which makes her realize the world is not that beautiful s it seem to be. She realizes her ‘Hero’ has some flaws. Some good some bad childhood memories are stuck in her mind. She was sleeping. Suddenly, she woke up with the sound of glass breaking. She woke up with a shock. What she sees after waking up is more shocking to what she heard. Her mother is crying. Its quite understandable from the look of his father ace that he hit her and threw something at her which made the wall clock coming down and breaking it. She was scared to open up her eyes. She closed her eyes and pretended to be still asleep. She didn’t want to see what was happening. She wanted to pretend like it never happened. She was so young to understand that merely closing the eyes won’t remove the memory from her heart and mind.
Its dinner time. Mom is serving dinner and Dad is eating in a plate. Dad is unhappy about something. He tells something to Mom who is in the kitchen. Mom is also upset and answers angrily from the kitchen. Dad didn’t like whatever she said and threw the plate against the wall in the hallway. All the curry in the plate is on the floor now. The sound of the plate banging on the wall still rings in her ears sometimes. Dad didn’t say a word, he got up and went to his room. She was left with a crying mom who was cleaning the floor and crying.
It’s a lazy Sunday morning. She is supposed to study for her pre boards exam of class 10th. Yes, she is growing up and becoming mature. Suddenly, she hears some loud voices from Mom and Dad’s room. She gets up from the bed and goes to the hall connecting her parents room to her room. She sees Mom going out of the home saying loudly that she won’t come back to home. Her Mom is saying “I don’t want to live with you. You go and live with that other woman”. She is frozen to the core. She cannot believe what she has just heard from her own Mom. Mom is saying all kinds of things. She is saying “I wont come back. I’ll do something to me, something you will repent all your life”. Mom opens the main door and goes out. She gets scared to her soul. She doesn’t want her Mom to do anything wrong in anger. She follows her Mom. Mom starts walking on the road. She is still in her night dress. She doesn’t have the courage to go up-to her mom and tell her that Mom its okay, I am with you. She is still in shock. But for now she just wants to make sure that her Mom doesn’t do anything stupid. She only want her Mom well being. She follows Mom. Mom needed some time to cool off and after about an hour, Mom enters a family friend’s house. She follows her there. Mom was surprised to see her there but Mom was so devastated at that point that Mom just cries sitting on the couch of uncle’s house. First time she was seeing her Mom so weak. Mom told the whole story to her uncle. How Dad is cheating on Mom. How Mom has been keeping up with him only for the sake of her and her siblings. How Mom has been hiding all this from her. How she was getting hurt all along but still was keeping mum so that children can have a happy family. How Mom had caught Dad red handed. How Dad has promised Mom to end his extra marital affair and begged for Mom’s forgiveness. How Mom has given him a second chance which Mom found out only today was a big fat lie. All this was a shock to her. She was only 15. She didn’t know what to do in the situation. She didn’t know how her Dad can cause so much hurt to her own mom. She couldn’t help feeling guilty that her mom was bearing all this just because of her and her siblings. She knew she cannot cry in front of her Mom. She knew that she had to give strength to her mom. She knew she had to be the emotional strength of her Mom but other than that she was clueless. She didn’t have the courage to go up-to his dad and ask him why has he done all this. She didn’t have the guts to tell her mom to move out of the house as she knew Dad is the sole bread owner of the family. She hated her helplessness at the moment. She decided that she has to finish her studies as soon as possible and be financially independent so that she could tell her Mom to leave Dad and live separately if she wants. She wanted to start earning so that she could ask her Mom to leave the home and stay with her.
It was Holi day. Dad and Mom were out playing holi in the neighborhood. She was alone in the house. Memories of the dreadful day flashed her mind. She decided to go through Dad’s phone. She opened the images folder and saw few pictures of her Dad with the other woman. She decided to make a copy of the pictures. She was angry and hurt. She still didn’t have the courage to confront her father. Since childhood he had been an inspiration for her. In a moment all of it was vanished. Only thing left was anger. She wanted to show the pics to father and confront him but somehow decided otherwise to keep the harmony in the family.
Its a Saturday. Dad is getting ready to go to Work. Phone rang, mom picked up, no reply. Again it rang, she picked and nobody spoke. It happened about 4-5 times. Mom disconnected the cord. From the look of Mom’s face, she understood who it was. Dad was showing no reaction. There was not a single sign of anxiety/shame/stress on Dad’s face. Dad was either too shameful or too shameless… She couldn’t take it anymore. Drops of tears rolled down her cheeks. Dad came to her and asked what had happened, why was she crying? She didn’t answer. Somehow she could tell her Father how hurt she was because of all this. Dad asked again. He sensed that she is upset because of the phone calls. He made an affectionate face and told her that he has nothing to do with the phone calls. This statement just pushed her off the limits. She could not stand her own Dad doing something wrong and then telling lies on her face. She got up from bed, opened her cupboard and brought the copy of pic she made from Dad’s phone. She showed him the pics. Dad was frozen. He was blank. He was numb. He saw the pics, then saw her daughter, got up and went straight out of the home. She was still feeling miserable.
She was out with friends. She returned home just now. She entered and heard Mom and Dad shouting. She saw her sister standing in front of Mom guarding her from Dad. Dad was about to hit Mom. She didn’t say a word. She moved mom to the other room. Mom didn’t say a single word. For the first time, Mom saw her daughters taking her side in front of Dad. She was feeling as if thousands bomb have exploded in her heart. For a moment Dad was shocked too. But soon enough he gained his senses and asked her to not to interfere in their matter. He told her whatever he has done to her Mom is between them and she doesn’t have any right to speak in between them. She was very angry on this remark. She wanted to just run away from the home. She wanted to never see THIS Man’s face. But, she was now mature enough that she knew she needs to become something to do that. She knew she cannot run away from home as she has no other place to go. She knew why her mom was suffering yet keeping her shut up on this issue. She understood she needs to become financially independent in order to take care of her Mom. She knew she is helpless. Her helplessness made her more miserable.
Today, she is financially independent. She doesn’t take anything from her Dad. She earns her own livelihood. But situations have changed, Mom has forgiven her Dad and moved on with the life, or may be Mom is doing this for the sake of her younger brother so that he may have a family and not two separated parents…. For now Mom looks happy living in the same house.. She just wish that someday she may talk to her Mom about all this and ask her why she suffered so much for her sake, why she still is with Dad?? May be Mom has forgiven her Dad, but she can never forgive him the pain it has caused to her in that young age, she hates her Dad for not being a good husband. She likes her Dad as a businessman, as a father, as a son, as a smart, hardworking guy, but she can never like as a person. She knows that she is good in so many cases but in some he failed terribly and it still hurts whenever she thinks of all those things.. She still has so many questions for her father to answer. She is still waiting for an apology from her Father for all the hurt……

2 comments:

Mystical Skeptical Me on April 8, 2012 at 5:34 PM said...

Tears were rolling down my face. I feel proud to know you stand on your own two feet. And those questions in your heart, the answers to them, will come with time. *Hugs* Keep the spirit high! :')

Miracle on November 13, 2012 at 11:21 PM said...

its a nightmare when you don't recognize your hero anymore

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