Keira looked at the woman sitting beside her. Wow! The girl was beautiful beyond normal standards. Normally Keira would not give in easily and accept that a girl/woman is beautiful. Girls' tendency, you see! But if any woman who made her go "Wow!" would be a lady for whom guys would die for. She did not acknowledge women who are ordinarily beautiful. Maybe it is because of the fact that Keira felt that she was not very beautiful. She knew she was not ugly or clumsy. She was good-looking. Just good-looking as any other normal person. She knew for sure she was not the stands-out-in-the crowd type. And maybe because of that, she have always admired women who managed to look beautiful all the time - be it a fresh morning or after a tiring day at work. They managed to find time to gloss up their lips even on the way back home. Keira had had days when she wanted to be one of them and desperately tried on every bit of make-up she can and she felt that she was the same good-looking but nothing more. Nothing special.
Not only in looks, Keira had the same feeling about her life. She had been a good daughter, a good student,a good friend, a good employee, a good girlfriend, a good citizen etc. But when she searched an answer for what she has achieved, what special thing she has done that not many others have achieved, she drew a blank. She felt dull and gloomy at such times when this line of thought crops up and she would make her mind to do something more useful, cooler than the normal. But then again, after a few days, she would realize that she is wrapping her in an artificial shell and she is trying to be a person who she is not.
This happened over and over again, building up her insecurities and making her life shades of grey. She knew that she had been a good daughter, but she felt that she could have been a better one if only she could have developed passion in medicine and had done the Doctor's course just as in her dad dreams. She knew she was a good student, but she felt she could have been a better one if only she could have got the hang of Mathematics and was the best at what she studied. She knew she was a good girlfriend, but she felt that she could have been better if she did not fight with her love. And so on. The list was really endless. She felt she could have been better at everything, but she seemed to wind up at just being good.
This continued on until one day...
To be continued..
Until later,
Keirthana :)
4 comments:
Nicely put forth the apprehensions, the confusion and that kink of being better daughter..
Waiting for the next part.. You have very well put the feelings of a mediocre girl.. Somewhere down the lines I felt you were talking about me..
This is exactly most of the girls feel these days! Waiting for the next part :)
Thank you all :) Next part coming up soon enough :)
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