Life Lessons from Tanu Weds Manu Returns

Pic Courtesy: Google Images / zingtv.in

Last evening I saw this movie 'Tanu Weds Manu Returns". Kangana Ranaut is outstanding, Outstanding is a very small word to describe her performance. A new hero is born, The hero is Kangana

This is not a movie review post, its something that the movie gave lessons about, just a few dialogues say a lot

1. "Weekdays pe 4 kabootar, 4 racoon k alava kuch nahi hota"
Seriously, that's true, You live in a foreign country, your husband goes away to work. You don't have family there. There is this timezone difference, when you are awake, your family and friends here are asleep. You can't get a job easily. You don't have a maid, a iron guy, a milkman, a car wash guy so you do everything on your own. Your have been there long and have gone to most of the nearby places.
Nothing else to do except for everyday monotony. Its bound to make an person irritable and nagging
People may show a rosy picture of the country on Facebook, but reality might be different

2. 'chaar saal mei 1st year acha tha, fir ye aadmi apna asli rang dikhane laga"
First year of marriage is always the best, happy, fun, roaming, lots of sex, regularly eating out, weekly movies. But, later, say after 2-3-4 years there are kids, a new house, its EMI's, parents to take care of, a career to take care of
I don't say that the fun part goes out of the window, but it does reduce.
Expecting the same things that you had during the honeymoon phase or courtship phase is dumb

This movie also shows many other things,

1. Love is the base of any relationship.
Every relationships have fights. The trick is to come to a conclusion in those fights. Prolonging those fights doesn't take you anywhere. Fight. Talk, Shout. End and never speak about it again

2. Marriage counselors are not bad news
Getting married is no big deal, staying married requires effort.
If the couple, can't sort issues by themselves, its not wrong to consult a marriage counselor.
Its just like, you fall sick, you self medicate, you don't get alright and you visit a doctor

3. Never change yourself after marriage
Your partner married you knowing exactly what you are. They love you for what you are and not what you have turned into.
Tanu becomes this lone girl after marriage whereas she is this bubbly, chirpy girl before her marriage and she become one as soon as she comes back.

4. Communicate
Many relationships fall apart because of misunderstandings.
Talk to your partner,
"I am angry I wont talk"
 "let him / her come and talk"
 'Why should I go first, is his fault"
No, relationships don't work that way.
Ego and love cannot go well together, burst that ego bubble, talk it out and sort it out else some third person will come in and create a mess of your relation
Eg: This Chintu guy, sends a divorce notice without Tanu's consent and Tanu didn't call and clarify to Manu on it

5. As far as possible, sort issues between yourself before involving a third party or another family member
After Manu is pushed in the mental hospital, Tanu could have gone there are bailed him out instead of calling his friend to London
Manu might have been angry for a while, but later he would realize that Tanu got him out of that hospital because she loves him

6. Keep your friends close 
At the time of crisis, Tanu's ex-boyfriend now-friend Raja was her biggest support. Your friends will have your back even after you being a real ass with them

7. Test tube baby is not a sin
in today's world, with all the stress involved, the health might take a toll and there might be various reasons to not conceiving naturally.
Its not wrong to take medical help to have a baby.

8. Rebound is bad news
Just because you had a massive showdown with your spouse doesn't mean you rush into another relationship as a revenge. Its not just wrong to your spouse, its wrong for the person whom you have a relationship too.

9. Parents want the best for their kids.
Manu's mom shouts ar Tanu for leaving him in a mental hospital
Any mom would, its obvious. Her baby is in trouble.
You break an egg on your brother's head, its obvious your mom is going to give you a long lecture for half a day, till you go and hug her.

10. Not all in-laws are monsters
Manu's mom and dad, support Tanu all the while. They shout at her but still care for their daughter-in-law

11. Love cant be forced
This guy Manu's friend goes all the way to Punjab for the girl he loves, who simply says that she sees him only as a friend. He tries to even kidnap her, but even after all this she did not love him.
Love cant be forced, it just happens

12. Love conquers all
Love hurts
Love brings happiness
Love brings tears
Love in the end makes everything alright

So that's all folks!

Soliloquy.

I don't feel the same anymore. Its like a part of me has been washed away by the tides, and I'm left incomplete...never to feel complete again. Is it normal? I don't know.

I have some serious trust issues. I can't trust anyone. I always end up looking at everyone with suspecting eyes. Is this normal? I don't know. But I know something... I was never like this before. I used to trust people so easily and so completely. But now I don't. I don't want to blame anyone for the way I am now...  Let's just say, my defence mechanism has taken the active front, and it doesn't let anything seep below my skin surface. It keeps everything from affecting me inside there. It keeps my feelings, emotions, heart...safe.

The defence mechanism is working great. I wish it came a little sooner, that way, it wouldn't have been such a big mess inside there.

I know you must be thinking I had a breakup... No, it wasn't a breakup. I don't know how to define it. I haven't been able to find the exact word for what it was. It seems silly at times, and I do laugh at myself...but I don't know why, the tears accompany my laughter. Maybe they too are being protective about my laughter...lest it too may disappear, just like my trust.

It is not such a big thing really. I should not give it so much of importance. Just forget about it. Ignore my own thoughts. After all, I knew what I was getting myself into...or maybe not.

Maybe I had forgotten the rules myself. I started playing the other way around. I should have played the game with my own black pieces. Black suits me. It kept me hidden in the shadows all these times. White is not really my colour. I should have never played the white colour. It made me forget it was a game. A chessboard game. A game filled with politics and manipulation. Where, 'checkmate' means I have the power to destroy you. And sometimes it has an added asterisk, where the terms and conditions apply. But we never read those terms and conditions , do we?

I don't know why I am writing this. I even don't know how long I will sob over this. Its been months now! But I hope to get over this soon. Very soon. Because every time I pick up my pen and sit down to write about something, I end up writing something like this...a sob story. And I hate sob stories. Which indirectly means, I'm hating myself right now. But its a phase... And this too won't last, just like the other things.