February 26, 2013

Why?

Posted by Keirthana at 10:46 PM

Workplace flirting has become such a common thing. Honey, Darling, Sweety are words that are just casually thrown across towards women by men who have been just acquaintances for a couple of months. And everyone acts as if this is normal. When some people don’t like such flirting, they are labeled as un-evolved, orthodox and incompatible to the socializing lifestyle of this century.
Most people might think of it as a friendly gesture and might be okay with it. That is none of my business. When people like me are ready to accept that there exist people who are okay with even overboard flirting, why can’t you just accept that there are people who don’t like it. Why are we labeled rude when I humbly express my opinion that I don’t like to be called by names other than mine. I have a name for a reason!
The thing that frustrates me the most is testing the depths by trying out one or two endearing addressing. It is a very cheap shot, I would say. For the sake of professionalism or politeness or fear or whatever, if the girl chooses to ignore it, the guy continues it until the girl is pushed to a place where she ‘has to’ react strongly. Why is this necessary? If this happens in reverse, i.e., if a girl flirts first, I 've heard many guys calling her a woman of a totally disgraceful class.
I know that no amount of ranting or yelling my heart out is going to change this. But I simply won’t go along. I hear people saying ‘Women need to face these situations all the time’. I agree. But why should I face it silently and undergo awkward situations without telling what I feel? Why should I take it in my face? Why shouldn't I just throw it back to where it came from? I'll not accept reasons like ‘You have to work with the guy for the next year or so. If you react to this, it would just be awkward and affect your working environment’ or ‘Hey, this is just so common - you are over-reacting’ or ‘He might have meant it in an innocent way’ or ‘You might be perceived as the kadoos who is unapproachable’. No, I will not take any reasons. Some even go to the extents to say that ‘Guys are like that and it is their instinct’. If that is your explanation, Giving back a nice punch in your face is my instinct and I will do it.
My question is simple. I have come to office to work, just like you. Neither do I know you from Adam nor do you know me. I am just being a friendly colleague. And you know that I am engaged to the guy I love. You know I am not interested in anything beyond a professional relation in the workplace with all my colleagues. Then why do you have the incessant need to hit on me? Testing my depths huh? Whether I am wavering or whether I am good enough for passing your idle time?
I am not generalizing guys here nor am I saying that girls are all good when it comes to this. I am not judging anyone here. I am just saying that this is happening. And often to women. That’s all. If both the people involved are comfortable doing the flirting for god-knows-what, go ahead - I am least bothered. Just don’t cross people who don’t want a part of it and ruffle our feathers. We keep our cool for our own sake. If you put one toe beyond the line, you will get what you deserve.
What’s with the need to objectify women always? When there is a crime against women, the focus gets shifted from the fact that the crime was committed to the fact that the woman in concern has dressed provocatively or was out at late night. I'd like to agree that it would do women to err on the side of caution, but why is that even a factor? Are you an animal driven by hormone binge sans rational thinking? Why can’t you just let us be?  
I have all the questions and no answers!
Until later,

4 comments:

Makk on February 26, 2013 at 11:58 PM said...

At the same time,

Guy who are not flirtatious, have been labeled bore and what not, by their female counter parts.

I have seen it. :)

Confused Soul on February 27, 2013 at 12:26 AM said...

Aaah a fresh read.. back here after long..
You raised a very important point.. I've seen that at colleges too..

Although work life is something completely different... To each his own ah?
I'm not a supporter of casual flirting..the whole thing makes no sense to me.. And I'd rather avoid such situations..

Keirthana on February 27, 2013 at 11:17 AM said...

@Makk: Yeah, I agree with you. Women are not all that good when it comes to this.

@Confused Soul: Thanks! Casual flirting or not, people should know what they are doing and if they are offending the other person!

Sunitha on March 6, 2013 at 7:17 AM said...

Flashing a big engagement ring doesn't help any more these days? In my days it used to.. I used to work in a support project and had a creep who used to raise requests to ask me out for coffee..But I agree, it is work place harassment..

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