Do Not Disturb

Some situations when people should clearly not talk to me

Scene #1

There I'm standing in a crowded train with my earphones on,dancing in my head.
Suddenly I see this lady saying something,and staring at me expecting me to react.
It seems she asked me where I burnt my hand.
I take the pain of fishing my phone out of my bag,wriggling in that crowd. Hitting pause. Removing my earphones and explain that it isn't a burn.
By then everyone around is more interested in me and staring at me like I am a freak.
Lady, Earphones stuck in the ear = Do Not Disturb Mode

Scene #2

I'm on my phone, animatedly talking or just talking, and you come and start talking to me or giving background inputs for my call.
I know what to talk, I don't need to be taught.
Like seriously,I got 2 ears and one head only. I can hear my caller and you but I can concentrate on either. Thanks to you.

Scene #3

I'm playing a game, in full concentration.
Enough Said.

Scene #4

I am in a movie hall. I want to watch the movie.
I do not want your expert tips.
I am not blind I can see, so I do not need you running commentary.
And we are in a movie hall, and that is the exact place that you decide to tell me your sob story.
Why couldn't you rant about that in the coffee shop, when you were fidgeting with your damn phone.

Scene #5

I am getting a massage. I need peace. So, keep quitet.

Scene #6

I am sleeping. I have no idea you sneaked into my room.I certainly do not want you screaming in my ears.

In all the scenes, trust me peeps I would be murdering you, if I wasn't so very nice.
Meri acchai ka fayda na uthao

FRUSTATION ALERT !

What do you do when you are suffering through a rough patch in your life... your loved ones are not nearby to comfort you... and if that was not enough, there is someone in your life, who makes it even more difficult for you to live through the rough patch? Right when you are trying to get out of it, he comes back again and makes sure that your life remains fucked up all the time. What do you do then ? Flush him out of your life ? I wish things were so easy all the time... Or maybe say what you really are thinking and just ruin it all ? Ruin all the friendly relation you have with that person and move on ? mind you, just ending all the relations wont help, because he is going to meet you everyday, by default ofcourse, for the next couple of months ? What do you do then ? He comes to you everytime you thought your life is all settled, and now...you are finally back on track... and then again ruin all your efforts and quite literally eat up your mental peace and harmony. What do you do then ?

I know I am just ranting about it here... I know I sound all kickass, but when it comes to facing an issue I fall straight on my face. I know I suck at solving problems. I know that! I wish I could be that person whom everybody hates because they think she has too much of ego problems... or that bitch who thinks too much of herself... or something like that. I so desperately wish to be one of those. Atleast then, nobody comes to disturb your mental sanity. Even if nobody talks to you, you feel at peace. You feel self dependent. You can do whatever you want without thinking about what you may have to hear after you do this or that. That way you dont really have to answer to anybody.... Isnt that what I really want ? Accountability for myself ? Is that too much I am asking for ? Cant I be responsible for my own actions and decisions ? Why the hell should someone else be willing to decide for me ? And why the hell should I let that happen ?

I know I am a coward when it comes to resolving problems face to face. Dont get me wrong, I do finish matters once and for all, but only when the matter goes above my intake capacity. But should I really wait for my intake capacity to overflow and then react ? Why should I hang on to something which is taking a toll on my mental peace ? Why should I wait for the water to go above my nose ? I dont know, what should I really do ?

Should I just yell back, finish all the friendly space we shared, and not see his face even if he passes right infront of me ? Or should I be what I usualy am, a diplomat, and politely and sweetly tell to him back off... and listen to his taunts everyday that I am no longer the person he met before... that I have changed... and that I should tell him if I have any issues in my life. Hell, he himself is the issue I'm trying to tackle!

I am so mind-fucked. I dont know what to do ? Its a fight between the Libran and the Leo in me. The diplomat wants me to peacefully resolve the issue without getting mean and violent, but the fighter wants me to go and yell at his face that I think he's an absolute loser, and I'd be better off without him !

I know its one of those things that will resolve itself eventually (damn you libran!)... but right now its really taking a toll on my mental health. I feel frustated. Its taking more mental space than it actually deserves. I am trying everything to bring back my mental sanity back home. Writing helps, sure. And probably that is the reason I am here. But how long should I keep consoling myself that everything will be allright with time. Sometimes you need to take control of the situation instead of waiting for it to get better by itself. And everytime I think of doing something, the question pops up...

 What should I do ?

And honestly, I dont know what to do !

Why?

Workplace flirting has become such a common thing. Honey, Darling, Sweety are words that are just casually thrown across towards women by men who have been just acquaintances for a couple of months. And everyone acts as if this is normal. When some people don’t like such flirting, they are labeled as un-evolved, orthodox and incompatible to the socializing lifestyle of this century.

Most people might think of it as a friendly gesture and might be okay with it. That is none of my business. When people like me are ready to accept that there exist people who are okay with even overboard flirting, why can’t you just accept that there are people who don’t like it. Why are we labeled rude when I humbly express my opinion that I don’t like to be called by names other than mine. I have a name for a reason!

The thing that frustrates me the most is testing the depths by trying out one or two endearing addressing. It is a very cheap shot, I would say. For the sake of professionalism or politeness or fear or whatever, if the girl chooses to ignore it, the guy continues it until the girl is pushed to a place where she ‘has to’ react strongly. Why is this necessary? If this happens in reverse, i.e., if a girl flirts first, I 've heard many guys calling her a woman of a totally disgraceful class.

I know that no amount of ranting or yelling my heart out is going to change this. But I simply won’t go along. I hear people saying ‘Women need to face these situations all the time’. I agree. But why should I face it silently and undergo awkward situations without telling what I feel? Why should I take it in my face? Why shouldn't I just throw it back to where it came from? I'll not accept reasons like ‘You have to work with the guy for the next year or so. If you react to this, it would just be awkward and affect your working environment’ or ‘Hey, this is just so common - you are over-reacting’ or ‘He might have meant it in an innocent way’ or ‘You might be perceived as the kadoos who is unapproachable’. No, I will not take any reasons. Some even go to the extents to say that ‘Guys are like that and it is their instinct’. If that is your explanation, Giving back a nice punch in your face is my instinct and I will do it.

My question is simple. I have come to office to work, just like you. Neither do I know you from Adam nor do you know me. I am just being a friendly colleague. And you know that I am engaged to the guy I love. You know I am not interested in anything beyond a professional relation in the workplace with all my colleagues. Then why do you have the incessant need to hit on me? Testing my depths huh? Whether I am wavering or whether I am good enough for passing your idle time?

I am not generalizing guys here nor am I saying that girls are all good when it comes to this. I am not judging anyone here. I am just saying that this is happening. And often to women. That’s all. If both the people involved are comfortable doing the flirting for god-knows-what, go ahead - I am least bothered. Just don’t cross people who don’t want a part of it and ruffle our feathers. We keep our cool for our own sake. If you put one toe beyond the line, you will get what you deserve.

What’s with the need to objectify women always? When there is a crime against women, the focus gets shifted from the fact that the crime was committed to the fact that the woman in concern has dressed provocatively or was out at late night. I'd like to agree that it would do women to err on the side of caution, but why is that even a factor? Are you an animal driven by hormone binge sans rational thinking? Why can’t you just let us be?  

I have all the questions and no answers!

Until later,

Keirthana :)