Preference

Why would somebody do that?
What thought is behind this action?
It's something that she's not used to!
A different treatment!

"Hmm...."
"After you..." and a hand gesture was made for her to go first on the staircase.

A step onto the stairs but a preference was given. Specifically she was asked to step first.
Something that doesn't happen to her everyday.
Not that she has not been with guys earlier and not that she hasn't been given a special treatment before.
But this was something that had never happened.

As small and insignificant this may seem but was not at that moment.

Men tend to have bigger egos than women. This is how they have been made. Women are easy to break but men are tough! It's hard for them to put someone else before them. But here he had her before her.

This might be not new for him but was new to her.
This might be something he does to every girl but no guy had done it yet for her.

"Don't do it. I am not used to such respect", came her reply.
"Don't do something which puts her in special treatment. Don't do something which you won't do forever. Hope such a day never comes", she though in her mind.

X--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------X

Coming back home from college, she was walking behind him.

He was to open the gate and she was to follow.

Gate was opened wide and was thrown back in sudden flash.

What happened took her by surprise!

"Is this the same person who used to ask her to go first or at-least take note that somebody is following", she thought.

Might have been an upset situation, might have been a tensed state of mind, might have been her doing something to piss him off. 

This wasn't imagined but this is what happened. And a happy moment was erased.

   X-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------X

This wasn't something on the list of expectations but it's hard to ignore it after making someone habitual of that. It takes time for people to forget about the special things but it happens and happens with a pinch of pain. Funny that people make you used to certain things that they start and when they stop doing that, it's only you misses that being done!

Moms aren't Moms they are Super Mom's

4 weeks back, my mom had a fall at home, after which she had a small surgery and had her left hand plastered for 4 weeks.

Now, me being "the girl" of the family, obviously, I am her successor in doing the household chores.

Incidentally, around the same time, the maid of my house ran off for her summer vacation leaving me alone.

Trust me, in so many years, I only cook on weekends or when no one is at home and I cook all exotic dishes.

Now, suddenly
Cleaning the house
Washing clothes
Washing the dishes
Cooking
Going to work
Taking care of mom (since she couldn't do a thing by herself)

Exhausted, is a very small word to describe the feeling. I felt like breaking down and crying so many times.

My nice, supportive family quietly ate any crap I made.
God, What to make? What not to make everyday is another big pain on the wrong side.

Go buy veggies
Clean and Cut them
Search Google and find an easy recipe
Cook
Mess up the taste
Feel bad, then give up

Super Mom to the Rescue

I have no idea how our mom's did it. And the kind of nasty kid that I was, I would have strangled myself. How the hell did she manage to do all this,

cook
clean
get the little maniac me ready
endure all my dad's tantrums
drop me in the baby-sitting,
go to work,
quietly endure a monster mother-in-law,
attend all the family obligations
keep family happy and
still smile

If i were her I would have gone insane or wailed or just given up and walked off

Our Moms aren't Mom's they are Super-Mom's

21 Gun Salutes to All the Mothers in this world
Respects

Photo Credit: Google Images

The lone warrior

Image Source: cavernsofmymind.com

 

Fighting all the battles single-handed
Whatever comes, she's a savior
She doesn't have a choice
Always the lone warrior

Life threw random choices at her
She chose this as a martyr
Never does she regret it
Always the lone warrior

There's always something or the other
Building a constant barrier
She just has to get through
Always the lone warrior

She becomes the sword and also the shield
Turning lives even a little bit merrier
Calls it life's purpose, though she is
Always the lone warrior

Doesn't make a difference, if it rains or shines
Hiding emotions behind the steel exterior
Forever pushing herself to be
Always the lone warrior

Until later,

Keirthana

Because we can!

To protect you always is what I will,
That's my life's purpose
The stone that went into the wishing well,
Carries my wish to the lord, I suppose...

I will be your armor and not just a wife,
I will be with you forever and not just in this life,
For you, I will take on the world
To that, I give you my word..

I'll never let that smile of yours turn upside down,
It kills me to see you frown,
My love, be calm and at peace,
I'll set all your worries at ease..

Dedicated to all the ladies who are protective of their husbands and take the lead in life. There are some instances where people typically expect guys to take the lead even in the modern society. It's not outspoken, but there is a notion. For example, you don't see many guys sitting as a pillion rider in a vehicle while the lady drives. People don't expect a woman to take explicit charge of finances, future decisions. It is sad that even some of the women stereotype things like this. When I go out of my way to do all the works inside and outside household, people ask me "Why are you doing this? Won't your husband do it?". It's my convenience. What has the gender got to do with any of this? There's just the matter of getting the job done. What is it to you if I do it or my husband does it? We have our own reasons and circumstances why we are that way. None can judge our life ever and none can know more about our life than us. What if I do every work in the family, does it matter when you have a loving husband who will support you, help you wherever he can, give a foot massage when you are tired and kiss you good night?

 

Our world has changed a lot but there are still some people who see these women as dominating. We don't dominate, we do it because we can and because it's convenient for us. If a woman stands in the front, it doesn't mean she pushes her husband behind and takes the lead. It's because she'd put herself in front rather than risking her love getting hurt. It's because she'd do anything to make his life comfortable. It's not necessary that a guy has to protect his wife after marriage. That kind of typicality is long gone. Women are the protectors ever since- as a sister, a mother, a wife. It's just that things are in the open now. Nothing has changed, nothing will. We will because we can. Before my marriage, I met a saintly person who knew my husband already, he is known for his knowledge and instincts which have stunningly been so accurate every time. He told me "You have got a very good companion in your life. You must be his Vishnu, his protector." I didn't fully realize the wisdom in his words at that time. I do now.

I wrote this post since I realized how much a woman takes on in life. The more important thing I realized is a woman is given so much to handle only because she's the one who can handle it. This is neither a feminist post nor a post to underestimate men. I believe in practical equality, not emotional rebellion. This post is a reflection of some realizations. We don't need women's day to celebrate women. Realizing what being a woman means and respecting it is more than enough.

Until later,

Keirthana :)

Sensuality is You

The moment she walked into the room there was a blast of  femininity in all its magnificence and is absolutely mesmerizing to those around her. She possesses a certain sparkling quality that radiates from the inside out.

She was known as wild and free. Never afraid to speak her mind out. A mystery for some and envy for many.

She lived for the moment, never brooding over the past or worrying about the future.

She wasn't termed as "sexy" but there was something very magnetically attractive about her. 

Bubbly, talkative, still secretive and mysterious.

She had an innate gift of flirtatiousness  playfulness and compassionate softness to her.

She makes everyone around her feel very special. 

She has that effect on men and women alike. Demure, quiet yet energetic and mischevious. 

She was radiant, magnificent, valuable, splendid jewel. 

Her sensual aura attracted men of all the ages to her.

She is the marvelous, elegant 84-year old Grand-mom who majestically is seated in my couch with a shiny diamond nose-ring on her.

Sensuality isnt about age, It isnt about s-e-x, Sensuality is not a naughty word. Its about feeling good inside, doing what you want. Its about connecting, helping, feeling of making others feel special

Sensuality is an attitude, its a personality. 

Sensuality is You

5 things to never underestimate in a woman

1. Her strength

Lakshmibai, The Rani of Jhansi

2. Her power 

Angela Merkel

3. Her dreams

Oprah Winfrey

4. Her love

Mother Teresa

5. Her wrath

Phoolan Devi

Only because she can flip the world upside down, for good or for bad, with just one of these.

Dhara

I am a Woman..Not an Object

This is my first post on DOV's and trust me my excitement is boundless...Its somehow like a small dream coming true..

But, even being my first topic..it might be a little gruesome to start with..

The newest gruesomest barbaric act by a 22 year old asshole in our capital Delhi.

5 year old being raped and 200ml oil bottle and candles inserted in that kid.. (Ouch!! Cant Imagine..), locked up in a room for 3 days hungry and undetected, and also that ass tried to strangulate that little baby.

The police tried to give 2000 bucks to the family to "settle" the case. The kid's relatives were lathi-charged on the streets by police.

Ok, now what do our politicians, the khaps, the so-called baba's have to say..

Ohh..maybe that 5 year old was super sexy and seductive .maybe she was wearing revealing clothes, or maybe she gave her consent to sex right?

She didn't call him "brother" or didn't say a "saraswati mantra"

Or maybe it was just absolutely ok.. because she was a female..

A 5 year old is cute, naughty, sweet not hot, sexy and a babe..its a baby..

Even if a case goes on, the verdict will come after 10 years giving the 22 year old son-of-a-bitch a 5 year "rigorous" imprisionment and Rs. 15,000 fine..

So..that is the value of a the life of a small baby and the pain and trauma endured by her.

The woman Chief Minister is quiet...The woman who literally has the Govt in her closed corrupt fist has nothing to say..

Our Govt is busy passing stupid laws to "Ban Pornography" "Close bars" "Ban smooch scenes in movies" but is taking its sweet time to pass the life changing "rape law" and "lokpal bills"

We don't want another Nirbhaya..We don't want candles lit...We don't want to be named "dented and tainted"..We don,t want to be told what to wear and what not to...We don,t want to walk in fear in dark alleys at any time of the day...We don't want to be forever anxious to let our little kids play alone...

We want freedom..We want to live a secure life..We want JUSTICE

The Gift

It was women's day the day after and she was teasing him, posing the question -'What are you going to do for the women in your life?' Though she asked generally, they both knew that she was mockingly asking what surprise he has got for her. Back came an equally notorious reply - 'I am not gonna do anything. That in itself is a great gift!'. And the conversation continued with mischievous questions and answers...

A year back....

she was the girl who would think twice about wearing a Kurti and a Jean. Having been brought up by an orthodox family, she grew up thinking salwar-kameez is the decent dress and the modern wear are for extremely thin women and not for chubby people like her. That thought was so inculcated in her that she refused to even think of trying out. Not only it was about the looks, but she was a confused soul. She never felt completely at ease with herself.

He tried so many times to change her absurd mind-set about modern wear. If you wear the right dress and carry it off coolly, there is no such thing as indecent about modern wear. But how will he get her to realize her? He kept on persisting in different ways. He asked her to wear it and show it to only him so that she would be more comfortable. Once he got her to trying, he was sure he can make his way through. He also knew that once she was more comfortable with herself, her insecurities and confusions can be warded off so easily. He just needed an entry point to her closed mind and this dress thing could be it.

Slowly, she started. First with Jean and Kurtis. She saw that it was not bad. Then with experience, improved her fashion sense and the mentality. Then came shirts, t-shirts, formals... It was clear to her that all that mattered was correct selection of the dress, size and judging if she will be able to pull it off. With every step, he was there giving constructive criticism. His was the final ruling. And slowly he made her rethink her decisions, motives in life. She started seeing it. Although the fears ran very deep, she started to see it was not impossible. It was moving mountains, but she felt she could.

A year hence....
She is a totally different person -both by looks and by mind. Not only did he manage to change her mindset about looks, he had managed to make her see sense in many other aspects. Life appeared more beautiful with him. Though she struggles here and there to completely overcome those core habits, she tries-For him. She is a  more confident person. She has left behind the ghosts of her past. He made everything easier for her. She succeeds sometimes, fails sometimes but now she knows. That with a little more effort, someday it would all be smiles.

On women's day, she was getting dressed up to go to office. He was also joining her in a while as their offices are in the same direction. She looked at the mirror for one final touch and did a double take. She was dressed in a black turtle-neck tee, blue jean and pretty grey shrug. Long silver earrings with pearls at the end donned her ears. Her hair was fluttering casually. She could not recognize herself. Was this the conservative woman who was uncomfortable wearing a jean? Was this the woman who was so confused with herself and her life? Definitely not. This woman in the mirror had an air of dignity. She knew that she was working on a lot of aspects but still she had come a long way. She had her identity but somehow she felt she was better now, in all ways.

A smile lit up her face as she realized what he had given her - not only for women's day but for ever.

Until later,

Keirthana :)

P.S: Happy Women's day to all. This post is dedicated to all women and men who treat women with respect and have helped the women in their life in some way or the other.

W-O-M-E-N

Value the diamond that has emerged from the coal mine just for you, as if not valued, the diamond shall burn like coal, giving away harmful carbon dioxide, unlike the shine and value that a diamond may add to your life!

How true can this be for the women in your life? Value women and you value your own self. Does letting the other person above you means that you are letting yourself down? Think about your mother. Think about those numerous times when she might had put her ill health behind and prepared food for you, for the family. Irrespective of all the pains she would have finished all the house chores. Think about the events when she would have taken all the blame game on her to save you and family.

Women embraces and praises all. Absorbing all the sorrows and turning them into happiness is the quality she is blessed with. All she desires for is Love and Respect. Love for the soul and Respect for the mind. She is an epitome of kindness. Think about your sister, your friend or any other female in your life. How many times you were forced to think by their act of kindness that it would have been impossible for you to react in the similar manner as she just did, on some burning issue! Patience is another virtue that a woman is worshipped for!

Women supports one in all the ways she possibly can! Women are worshipped as goddess, mother. Then why today we have so much injustice happening to them? Why we can’t have a society where we have equality for both genders. Why this discrimination then?

Men think we women don't do what we feel like doing. But that's not the case. We have our own limits defined and we are well satiated with whatever we are provided.

We women are not weak or afraid of showing our strength. Of-course we are physically not so strong as men are but where ever we are pushed to show our strength we show it.

Women is to giving or let's say Giving is to Women. Give, not under some compulsion or fear, but we love to Give. Hence we call it Loving and not Giving.

It's the nature of Women to be so. We don't complain, we are simply made to Give. We love to give Love and surely do we love when given back something in Love. That's why it is said, only a little of His love is required to woo a her while all of Her is required to woo Him.

We are made by God to shower love, bound purity of soul and spread happiness. We have it in our nature to absorb all the pain and are blessed with the magical power to convert it into blissful happy notes of life.

Proud to be a Woman!

 

 

Why?

Workplace flirting has become such a common thing. Honey, Darling, Sweety are words that are just casually thrown across towards women by men who have been just acquaintances for a couple of months. And everyone acts as if this is normal. When some people don’t like such flirting, they are labeled as un-evolved, orthodox and incompatible to the socializing lifestyle of this century.

Most people might think of it as a friendly gesture and might be okay with it. That is none of my business. When people like me are ready to accept that there exist people who are okay with even overboard flirting, why can’t you just accept that there are people who don’t like it. Why are we labeled rude when I humbly express my opinion that I don’t like to be called by names other than mine. I have a name for a reason!

The thing that frustrates me the most is testing the depths by trying out one or two endearing addressing. It is a very cheap shot, I would say. For the sake of professionalism or politeness or fear or whatever, if the girl chooses to ignore it, the guy continues it until the girl is pushed to a place where she ‘has to’ react strongly. Why is this necessary? If this happens in reverse, i.e., if a girl flirts first, I 've heard many guys calling her a woman of a totally disgraceful class.

I know that no amount of ranting or yelling my heart out is going to change this. But I simply won’t go along. I hear people saying ‘Women need to face these situations all the time’. I agree. But why should I face it silently and undergo awkward situations without telling what I feel? Why should I take it in my face? Why shouldn't I just throw it back to where it came from? I'll not accept reasons like ‘You have to work with the guy for the next year or so. If you react to this, it would just be awkward and affect your working environment’ or ‘Hey, this is just so common - you are over-reacting’ or ‘He might have meant it in an innocent way’ or ‘You might be perceived as the kadoos who is unapproachable’. No, I will not take any reasons. Some even go to the extents to say that ‘Guys are like that and it is their instinct’. If that is your explanation, Giving back a nice punch in your face is my instinct and I will do it.

My question is simple. I have come to office to work, just like you. Neither do I know you from Adam nor do you know me. I am just being a friendly colleague. And you know that I am engaged to the guy I love. You know I am not interested in anything beyond a professional relation in the workplace with all my colleagues. Then why do you have the incessant need to hit on me? Testing my depths huh? Whether I am wavering or whether I am good enough for passing your idle time?

I am not generalizing guys here nor am I saying that girls are all good when it comes to this. I am not judging anyone here. I am just saying that this is happening. And often to women. That’s all. If both the people involved are comfortable doing the flirting for god-knows-what, go ahead - I am least bothered. Just don’t cross people who don’t want a part of it and ruffle our feathers. We keep our cool for our own sake. If you put one toe beyond the line, you will get what you deserve.

What’s with the need to objectify women always? When there is a crime against women, the focus gets shifted from the fact that the crime was committed to the fact that the woman in concern has dressed provocatively or was out at late night. I'd like to agree that it would do women to err on the side of caution, but why is that even a factor? Are you an animal driven by hormone binge sans rational thinking? Why can’t you just let us be?  

I have all the questions and no answers!

Until later,

Keirthana :)

Darlings of Earth...!!

What comes in your mind when in you hear the below mentioned incidents? Like when we hear any crime news  in some 'breaking news' channel, most of us has somewhere in our mind that it doesn't happens in our social circle. Read this:

Incident 1: A mother who delivered her baby 7 months back and has been working in a MNC prior to her delivery has to stay back at her parents' house. Her husband has visited her only twice and MIL once post delivery even if the distance between two places is within 30 Kms. All the expenses of delivery and post that is taken care by the parents of the girl as her own salary/savings account is controlled solely by her husband who happens to be a well known orthopaedic surgeon. They made her and her new born feel uncomfortable & unwelcome in all possible ways. Should I have to mention here that new born is a girl!!!

Incident 2: A single mother who works in a bank is beaten black & blue by her brother. He along with his family members justifies this action as an action he did to discipline (!!) his sister. As per him just because she is earning and has 'no man' in her life to control her therefore he obliged to volunteer for taking up the task of controlling her.

Incident 3: A hearing-speech impaired girl is married off to some person (hiding the truth) by her family members. Obviously they find out & send back the girl to her parent's place while she was pregnant. Her husband was furious that girl's parents have fooled him by passing on a 'defective piece'. Her kid was born at her parent's place and she takes care of her baby whole day. After 3 years, husband comes back and offers to take her back. However he seems not interested in taking responsibility of the kid. Her parents again bundle her up with him and keep the kid with them. They are happy now that their girl is 'accepted' by her husband but completely ignore the pitiable mental condition of the girl who was estranged from her 3 year old.

I am not reading out any newspaper to you. I know all these families and couple of them are even so-called 'well educated'. They stay in this millennium city in up market areas. But how that education or their residential location does make any difference to their Neanderthal mindset and thought process. The XX chromosome is always unwelcome in their families. They want the wholesome control on the women folk of their life. This baton of control is passed on to another man by the institution called 'marriage'. Since childhood she is conditioned to surrender her lever of control to the man of her life...it can be grandfather, father, brother, husband,FIL, BIL, son. Independent thinking, decision making, taking control of her own life are considered a sin for her. Her conditioning make her believe that she is ought to be treated this way and thus even a women also reinforces this biased fact to her children.

While the hate groups of Amir Khan increases manifold after he took up to discuss sensitive topics through 'Satyamev Jayate', can we still choose to behave like 'ostriches in storm'. Amir is not showing something new or bizarre, these are naked truth which lies beneath the various layers of our society. As an individual, we can stand against any discrimination by passing on the right mindset to at least one person or make a difference to at least one life around us. I start this trend by bringing up my daughter with right attitude and groom her to become an independent individual devoid of any gender stereotype...What about you??

Looking forward for that day when all "Darlings of Venus" would also become "Darlings of Earth" in true sense :-D

P.S. This is my first post in DOV :-)

We Women....Little hard , little easy.

Incident 1

"The one thing I don't enjoy doing with you is eating",he said.

"Eating? Why? Because I don't eat much?",she was surprised with this sudden conclusion jump of his'.

"No, not because of that",he still kept it short.

"Then?",she was now more curious to know the real reason.

"I don't enjoy eating with you because when I eat from your plate you don't eat from mine in return", came his explanation.

"What...But I don't eat not that I don't want to but because I never feel the urge to eat anything from your plate. I never felt that I should eat from yours because I feel well content with whatever I have in my plate."she replied back.

"Yea.that I know. That you don't mind people eating from your plate but when the other person doesn't does the same with me I feel a bit awkward.",came his explanation.

"But that's formality you see that's not being frank with the person you are with. And come-on. it's been more than 3 years that we have been together but still you said this. Totally unexpected.",and the conversation ended with both of them not talking for few minutes.

These men think we don't do what we feel like doing. But that's not the case. We have our limits and we women are well satiated with whatever we are provided with, at times of-course, leave aside the jewellery and shopping stuff but these men, they think that we don't feel content like they never are.

Incident 2

"Hey", and he slapped her, though it was just as if he touched his hand on her face, a very swift slap it was but it was a slap!

She smiled,"Why do you always have to slap me, huh",she asked.

"Just like that. I love slapping you actually",came the clever answer with the wicked smile.

"Your cheeks are simply so chubby that I can't really hold my hands back from slapping you. Please please allow me to give you one tight one na, I always hit you softly, let's go for a hard one na Please.",he requested.

"One tight slap!",she freaked.

"No, are you mad. No ways. I allow you to slap me doesn't mean you can  actually slap me!",she backed out.

"Please na, in return you too can slap me. Promise. I won't say anything. Slap me as many times as you want to. I won't be offended, I promise",and he lifted her hand to touch his cheeks, telling her she had the liberty to slap him now.

She backed her hand backwards.

"No! Why would I slap you",she giggled, though she was scared too as she knew he was a guy who could do anything and right now all she needed to be afraid of, was his idea of slapping her!

"But I always hit you na, so you too please hit me too na. I will feel good! Come-on, don't be scared of me",he joked!

"Noo...I don't feel like hitting you that's why I don't do it. Am not scared of anybody, especially you!", she replied.

"Really, you are not scared of me!",he asked.

"Yes, am not!",came the reply

And then came another slap, a tight one this time!

 Why men think we women are weak or afraid of showing them our strength. Of-course we are physically not so strong as they are but the little incidents,like the one mentioned above, where we are pushed to show our strength are not really the deciding stages as to how much strong we women are, as we Women symbolizes Love and support.:)

We Women are made to shower love, bound purity of soul and spread happiness. We have it in our nature to absorb all the pain and we are blessed with the magical power to convert it into blissful happy notes of life.

Being Women!

    After so many days of thinking about my next topic to write, I thought today, lemme atleast start writing something, and then maybe thoughts will overflow. So here I am sitting on my pc (I dont understand why do people call it PERSONAL COMPUTER, because thanks to my brother nothing in this PC is my personal....!) Hey, I am still not disappointed. I still call it my PC!!
   
    Well siting on my pc and listening to Bryan Adams sing, "Do I have to say the words..." to me feels so special indeed!! Before I started listening to Bryan Adams, I had thought of writing so many things, but now I am not just speechless but also thoughtless... His voice is so rich, so adorable, so mesmerizing, so manly. I just want to say I am in love with his voice! ;)

    And I know I am supposed to write something worthwhile here, but I cant help it! Currently my fingers are not in my control. They are in sync with my brain and they are moving on the keyboard on their own! Just like sometimes my tongue goes in sync with my thoughts and I start blabbing continuously without knowing a word and most importantly all rubbish! :P

   I guess its one of those phases when I speak all non-sense happily and get away with the only legitimate excuse that I am a girl!! A woman. And that itself shuts every mouth! ;)

   So darlings, lets enjoy and celebrate the fact that we are women! Cheers to all the women out there for being women! :D

P.S. - A Happy New Year to all !!! :D

jus wondering...

The season of hot chocolate, bisi-bisi- kaapi ( hot coffee ), Warm woolies, thick cozy blankys, moisturizers is hereeee.. nah its not a post about Winter..

The TV channels have been playing the moisturizer ads over and over and over agaaaiinn!!... 

Most of these moisturizer ads have the guys yeeeeaaarrrninng to touch the women who apparently'll have soft-silky-smooth-thekindyoujuswannabiteinto kinda skin :P...

Another set of ads shows the man spraying this oomph-la-la/ yousocan'tresistmemaaahlaaddy deodorants and perfumes...

Was juuss wondering, if women are jus satisfied with the 'oommph' deos while the men are to be treated with the softsilkysmooth skin... what if it was the other way round??

Wouldn't women want to touch if not the silky smooth kinda skin atleast a decently moisturized body instead  of the scratchy-parchment like one? 

At the end of the day, i guess the Advertisements jus sells :D :P 

In the Path of Thorns

When this month's discussion topic was announced  and Maithili implored all of us to come out with our experience,I was sure that there would not be many entries.But was shocked beyond belief to read the revelations from my friends at DOV and after reading what each of them shared , my respect for these amazing ladies have increased a hundred fold.

An age old saying in my language goes like this "immaterial of whether a leaf falls on a thorn or the thorn falls on a leaf,the leaf gets damaged ". And from the moment a girl child is born ,these cliched lines are oft repeated to the parents and the girl alike.That being said,every girl at some point gets her share of prickly sex repressed male thorns.

Being in a close knit family with grand parents,uncles , aunts and cousins living almost on the same compound to look after me and by God's grace, I haven't had to encounter such bastards in my life.But just as a leaf on a rose bush cannot escape grazing through the thorns to fly in the wind, I too have fleeting memories of nameless and faceless parasites that refuse to go away that must be the part of memories of even the most ordinary Indian girl.

1)The hairy hand that made into my purple frock when I was standing in queue for darshan at one of the most famous temples in Kerala and how I with all my might pushed it back and somehow exchanged position with a fat old lady in front of me.

2)The pointed fingers that kept poking me through the gap between the seat and the back rest in the TNSRTC bus while the teacher was taking me and a friend for a science camp in Tamil Nadu. the frustration when the teacher asked us to ignore the constant pokes and the my friend's fiery outburst at the guy which finally resulted in him moving to a different seat.


3)The numerous times I have had to ask my friends (guys) or cousins to exchange seats with me at a movie theater because some dark hands were trying to grope me in the safe darkness of the movie hall.


4)The lecherous eyes of the random guy who stopped me mid road to ask if I wear clothes when I take bath (!!!!).

5)Those decently dressed men in the heavily crowded trains and buses , whose only aim in life is to bump on to you with each movement the vehicle makes and then look back with a false smile as if it was an accident.

6)The showmen who post themselves at strategic locations near girls hostels and embarrass the girls by showing off their strategic body areas.

7)The hands that always try to find their way towards a girl when you are sleeping in a second class sleeper compartment and how you always remembered to sleep with your feet in the direction of the corridor and keep them covered under a blanket.

8)The fake sleeping guy who tries to fall asleep on your shoulders as if by some horrible quirk of  fate you did not get a lady's seat in one of those overpriced overnight Volvo buses.

With time and experience , I learned that this was the way of life and there was nothing much a woman could do to avoid such people completely (unless of course I wanted to shut myself off in a nunnery, which after some second thoughts involving Sister Abhaya might not be that safe either )

But some of my favorite weapons that helped me are an umbrella and a safety pin. Of course having a fierce look helps and some martial arts would be amazing.

Here are a few small tips to stay safe in daily life , which I used to follow

1)The open umbrella is a savior while walking through crowded foot paths , in that it gives you a  little space and a much needed weapon from guys whose only intent is to bump you and touch your breast.

2) A closed umbrella is a good weapon to use against auto  or taxi drivers if you feel they are planning something for you. (Have always been told this , but haven't had to use it personally).

3)Safety pin is a good weapon to be used when the perpetrator is hiding in a crowded or dark place, like a bus or movie theater.I have successfully used it on the guy who tried to poke me in
the movie theater .(3 pricks and 20 min later that guy left the theater). Compass or other sharp instruments can be used too but for the difficulty of carrying it around.

4)Having one or more trusted people of the stronger sex , unfortunately is one of the most fool proof ways to keep yourself safe.

A tribute to Homemakers

Hello Darlings of Venus,

I am new here and I thought what better way than to start with a tribute to the people, who we are going to become ;)

Whenever I come across the term Homemaker, I get reminded of an article I read long back. It was written by a woman who was a homemaker and got a lot of "Oh! You are just a homemaker" stuff. She had written about her experience where people just take the homemaking thing so easily until one point she got frustrated and replied "I am the co-researcher in family management and maintenance" and how people had suddenly looked at her with respect. She had simply put homemaking in other words but that actually gained her respect.

In my opinion, homemaking is the most difficult job in the world. I do not have any experience in that but after seeing my mom go about it for 20 odd years, I can safely say that. Also, I believe making a home from a house is possible only by the fairer sex. Neither that I am being feminist nor that I am not aware of guys being a homemaker nowadays, but that there is something in a woman's touch. Be it a woman who does the job of managing the family full time or a woman who works and also manages the family, she always bears the onus. When a woman says, "I am tired. I think I will call it a day." she does not just go to bed. She makes all the arrangements that have to be done for the next day's run and goes to bed an hour after she said she is tired. But, when a man says, "I am tired. I think I will call it a day." he does it. Immediately. Without another thought.

So, here is to all the Darlings of Venus on Earth, who are homemakers or yet to become homemakers. Cheers ladies :)

Until later,

Keirthana :)