Power of words.....

Words when take the form of rage

The more they pour, the more they are vague

With the sense gone long ago

The tongue wags now, with full force

There is no time to think and speak

The words banter away as they creak

Endless are the arguments that are no more sane

It is like watching the rise of bane

As words cut through hearts to keep alive the fear of hurt

It's time to wake up and throw away the rut

For no balm can soothe a bleeding heart

But those words of kindness that bind all pieces from falling apart…..

What scares you off !!!!

What is it that scares you off.

Scares you off from asking the question.

Asking the question about life and things.

Life and things that matter to you.

That matter may make up your destiny.

And your destiny is in the controls of your hands and no one else’s.

No one else will be there tomorrow.

Tomorrow there shall be no time to make up for your mistakes.

Your mistakes then shall haunt you forever.

Forever you shall then regret of not asking that question,

The question which you would have wanted to ask then

Then maybe you could have been happy now

Happy and not scared

So what scares you off!

Smita

The charade ~ From a nomad's diary

 There are times when fury consumes

Like a colossal wave, it engulfs the soul

Then, the travesty of pretense resumes

Every time the heart takes over, its role

Rationale takes a backseat

As hate brims over the bowl

And then, the heart squeezes a little more

Why can’t there be more room for one’s own?

The maddening parody continues

Between the heart and the soul

There is no more room for absolution

Will the soul ever speak, for its own?

There are days when I wonder

Why is there no peace for the soul?

The answer it gives makes me ponder,

Will the heart ever forgive the errors of its own?

Love or lust, for social networking? ~ From a Nomad's Diary

(Below is a fictional conversation)

X: “Hey! Check out my selfie with my fiancée.”

Y: “Really? Shared already? Quite quick you are dear!”

X: “Oh it is…!! After all, it is my new phone and the clicking experiments are so much fun!! It feels awesome!!”

Y:”Wow! Which phone? Your pics are too good! I love your expressions!! So much of love….so much cuteness…..adorable you both are!! Awesome!!”

X: “Thanks!! Can’t believe I already have got so much likes for the pic!”

Y: “Just wait till they flood!! Ok! Got to go!! Ciao….xoxoxo!”

Why do we love the Internet? Why do we love the web? Why is this virtual world like a natural cocaine for us? Why does it feel good to reach out to people you do not know, over photos, groups, books, interests, food etcs? Why does it get more exciting when ‘xoxo’, ‘cheers’ and sweet chocolaty messages flood your timeline or your screen? The answer is so palpable!! Isn’t it?

Much has been written about how our social lives have undergone a paradigm shift and most of us find solace in ‘likes’, ‘shares’, ‘promotions’, et al. Some of us love our own pictures in different poses so much, that the expectation to get a ‘like’ is more exhilarating than waiting for that much awaited message to flash on the mobile screen on payday! A ‘selfie’ is a must for people no matter which age group one belongs to! And to start with, selfies come in various forms..different outfits and different expressions, same outfit and different expressions and then, different outfits and different apparels!! Do a math and one can calculate how active a person’s social life is in terms of friends, fans and countless unknown admirers. Even when meeting a friend or a relation in person, or maybe pitching in for potlucks and family dinners or going out with friends to a lounge or disc or even going for a long drive with family must necessarily find a mention on one’s timeline.

Is it what the word social means? To show the world that you are important just like the celebrity who does not have anything to own up as his/her. Today, each one of us in the virtual world is a celebrity of sorts, a mini to say so. “Feeling low”, “feeling blessed”, “feeling happy”, “feeling satisfied”, “slurping and burping”, “feeling lonely”, “feeling hungry”, and name the feeling, the emotions are right there on a domain where there is nothing private. The world has to know what you feel. The world has to know when you laugh, cry or get hurt (physically and mentally alike). The world also has to make sure that there are enough agony aunts and sympathetic souls out there to offer you solace, share joy and give an emotional support whenever you need. It is a world that has to essentially know everything about you, with you expecting the same.

And it is here, I am tempted to believe, we are all lonely now, lonelier than before. Be it having a buffet lunch with friends at a star rated restaurant, or dining with family at home, be it shopping in the posh malls of the city, or be it cruising away to exotic holiday destinations, the urge to share it with the virtual world has become a necessity or perhaps, an act propelled by addiction. The world must know, how happy you are. Or perhaps, is it you who wants to desperately convince self, “I am happy, no matter what!”?

But then, if one were to see the flip side of everything, pessimism would overrule all hopes on being better! And, before I sound critical of what social life has become today, let me share my second perspective. At least, I would like to believe there has been some good too. Connecting with like minded people, sharing knowledge and enriching it, picking on new hobbies and experimenting a variety of recipes on untried taste buds, exploring a spiritual side in self, home makers turning into entrepreneurs from home and a lot more, are some encouraging signs in social lives of many today. The hope to learn, the faith to achieve and the gumption to step out and pursue one’s dreams is no less than a feat for many educated home makers for whom, virtual world is surely a blessing. The catch however lies in the reigns that control the addiction to this world. And who holds the reigns, but our minds! The heart is free to feel anything but it is the mind that balances the rationale. Considering the mania that has taken over, how paramount a role shall this world play in our lives? And, for better or for worse? Only time shall tell!

Mind Oh Mind, take a break please!! ~ From a nomad's diary

Mind oh mind, take a break please…..

With thoughts galloping fast, it is hardly at ease

There is not a minute to stop and think

Even if it were, it snaps in a blink

Like a drop in the ocean, the minute lives

Until the moment it seizes what it gives

There is no definite stop in this journey of life

that hurls more curveballs with seldom respite

But, isn’t it always about the ride one takes

where destination is never the ultimate aim?

Coz, it is the spices of life that must, one enjoy,

sans the qualms that be the part of this game…..

Dark and Beautiful

It was late evening when I reached Coimbatore airport. Small airport with a lot of crowd.
Right then, 3 British women entered (I know they are British because we ended up lounging beside each other) and everyone around started to stare at them as if some alien has come out tumbling out of its space ship.

Men staring at them
Women feeling insecure already

I mean, what is this obsession about fair skin in this country?

An average Indian woman, is dusky. Its a fact and this fact is so celebrated outside India.

People in the Westerns and other "fairer" parts of the world, get treatments done, get themselves baked in the sun to get a skin tone (tan) like us.
We here are blessed with that beautiful bronze and we hate it.

There are so many women with lovely features who are dusky and get rejected in the marriage market for being "dark".
These girls are not just rejected by some uneducated dude, they are actually rejected by properly educated, working guys.

People from the south of India are ridiculed by the North people for being "black.

Why do you think the fairness creams get their businesses running for all these years?
Simple, its because a dusky girl is being told from the time she is a little about her dark skin. Mother's, Aunts, other relatives compare them with the so-called "fairer" cousins.
They keep telling her, that she won't find a job or a man to marry.

Fairness cream ad's show the exact same thing. A dusky girl, is sad has no friends, no boyfriend, no job, she uses the fairness cream and instantly becomes pink and she has friends, she has men swooning over her, a very lucrative job just on her looks and not credentials.
She has a whole freaking personality transformation just because of her skin color.

Even friends, sometimes unknowingly tease the dusky person on the color grounds.

Trust me!!
People who know me, would know that in my school days and college, I was match-stick thin and dusky.
People used to say
"you are so dark that if you walk out in the night people can see only your teeth"
"Don't touch me or else your color will pass on to mine"

I have seen so many matrimony profiles that say "Wanted bride, FAIR, well educated etc etc."
Why cant a dusky, well educated, nice, homey girl do?

Why cant our society just accept the people the way they are.
 Its the genes, the sun, the states near the equator that reflects in the skin.

So many girls whom I personally know have a low self-esteem in spite of being educated, earning well, the only reason is they are "black". If you ask me, I would say the darker, prettier, exotic skin tone.

The toxic belief that "fair is beautiful" has to be eradicated. Measuring a person's worth by their skin color is so wrong. So, very wrong.

There is more to people that their skin color.
Hope Indians really come to accept this fact some day.

The Broken Vase

My own glistening eyes I see
In a thousand reflections
On the remnant pieces 
Of my favorite vase that broke

May be the cracks
Were always a part of it.
Inherent , incomprehensibly subtle or Invisible
From my rose tinted fools paradise.

Blood flows through my cracked fingers
As I try to pick up the fragments
One by one , each  hurting me anew
Leaving yet another scar ..

With a broad sweep ,
I want to shove it away
All the hundreds of shining parts
Of that beautiful vase that I thought it once was.

Ringing anew in my ears
The laughter of crackling glass 
Brings thoughts of happy past.
Distracted , I 'd let them hurt me again.

Leaving 'time' to dry the glistening drops
Of blood and tears on glass,
I look into your loving eyes and find
That strength to walk away.

P.S : 
Friendship is like a vase. Once broken , always the cracks remain....I wish I didn't but now I know it is true.

P.P.S : Posting after a very long hiatus. I will make every effort to be regular from now on..

Tension !

“:(” the message read.

“What happened” she replied.

“Tell me one thing honestly”, came another message.

“Hmm…okay…go ahead…shoot”, she replied.

“:(”, the message read.

“Arre…what is it.”

“Do I look like a drug addict to you?”, the question was straight and clear.

“Lol Lol Lol”, she replied.

“L You think I am joking, right? :(”

“No yaar, I know why you would have been given that title. Lol”, she laughed.

“:(”

“I know you gym a lot so that is the reason that your eyes are a bit … hmm … you know what I mean right? :p”, she chuckled.

“Yea, it’s the gym but do my eyes look like as that of a drunkard? :(”, he said.

“Arree … no .. but why would you say so?”, she asked.

“I was visiting my friend in hospital yesterday. There I met his mother and she started enquiring from me about things like – Do you people drink often? You people have it over or you go out? Do you people drink it for fun or to get high? :( Yaar, I had gone to console her, to relieve her from her tensions but instead she gave me tension! Am never meeting her now”, he ended the conversation.

She smiled.
Innocence sometimes come in masked funny ways. Opening the unknown truth of the heart to strangers.

The conversation ended.

Guilty conscience of a daughter

Dear Amma,

I am sorry. This is an apologetic post for being that daughter who probably fulfilled all the dreams in your eyes when it came to the outside world but missed it totally when it came to household work. All those days when I should have helped you but instead lay on the bed like a sloth and read Harry Potter books over and over again, all those days when I knew the efforts it took you to give everything to me on a platter but still thought I can relax only when I come home, all those days when I saw you working non-stop from 5 in the morning to 11 in the night but still thought "It's amma. She is used to it and she is built that way". I am sorry for all those days.

I know you don't mind it even now, because you are indeed built that way. You are okay as long as I am. Never once have I heard you complain that I am not helping you at home. When all the members of the family complained one or the other time, you were the one who supported me saying "Let her rest. She has come home for only 2 days". You like work and hate sitting idle. If someone makes you sit idle, you'd doze off. Even if you're in a public place. That shows how much you work and how less you sleep. I get how that feels now because let alone sitting, if you ask me to just stand for a couple of minutes, I will doze off. The physical work and reduced sleep does that to you and I am not  doing even 1/10th of your day's work.

Today as I try to complete the household chores, I try to be you and I realize how difficult it is. It always seemed so easy to be you - a home maker with the entire 24 hrs of the day at hand. But yours is the toughest job on earth. I can vouch for that anywhere and anytime. When I was young, I remember asking you why your hands are so rough and you used to smile and then say, "With age, it becomes like that" or some answer of the sort. Now I know- Yours became rough so that mine could stay soft. Now I know the reason of everything you do. It's always the family. When you used to teasingly tell me that I will understand the intricacies when I am a woman running a family, I shrugged it off. Every single thing you said, seriously or teasingly, is true.

I call you a hundred times today. Asking myriad doubts of all kinds. You have all the answers, the work-around, solutions for my mess ups ready. Now I think back of what more I should have done at home. I sincerely do hope that my future daughter listens to me earlier than I did to you. I hope that she realizes things at a faster pace than I did.

Love,

Your lazy daughter who got a tight slap from life
and has been forced to face reality.

To Do Or Not To Do

I'm in such a juncture of my life where on one side I have "happily" married or pretend to be happily married couples..and on the other side I have late 20's and 30 somethings singles..

Well, I have always been a very patient listener to all my buddies...
Reason? simple..i love to listen to the saga's other people's life..Basically I love gossip.

I  am perfectly happy with my "i-dunno-whats-happening" relationship status until my 30 something spinster girl buddy make a "Droopy dog" like face and rants saying
"Dee, I want to get married"
"Dee, I need a companion"
"Dee, its high time you settle down before your biological clock stops ticking"
"Dee, settle down with who ever comes along...your too old to stick to your checklist"

I mean..woahhh..ok..I know you are going nuts and paranoid..but please don't let it get on to others...you make me feel like a lonely old lady with a black cat in a mansion that's always dark and lightening falling only on my mansion...

Why cant you see the happy part of your life?
No responsibilities...No one to answer...Attention from every eligible/not eligible opposites..
Besides marriage is just a legal license for sex...and babies...love comes when you  both are like 40 or 50 only (its a proven fact)..

Then I have my "married" buddies of every stage i.e. newly married, 2 years married, married with toddlers, married and pregnant....you get the picture right..

They drool all over me talking about exotic vacations....the "romp"...the shopping...and also whine about
"i loved my single life"..
"i hate to get up in the morning and cook"
"my kid keeps crying all night"
"sorry i cant come for the night out like before ya...you know my mishtarr doesn't like it" things...

And that.....makes me feel that I am missing out on something...or am i really missing anything at all?

but then for some reason I'm least bothered about both kinds of buddies...wondering why?

Maybe I'm so saturated with both that my head has stopped responding either of them...
Have made peace with myself...whooosssaaaaaa.....

I feel so blessed now..Or maybe I am in a simple denial mode

Dialogs for my kinda state
1. Duniya gai tel lagane..
2. Bhaad mei jaaye...
3. mara jaa...
4. To hell with it..
5. Yeah..ok..well...huh...what?