Size Matters...Duh!

Yaar, frankly I’m tired.

Because ever since I’ve seen the topic ‘Size Matters’ pretty much everything that comes to mind has already been written about. I thought of weight, that’s here, I thought of foot size, people have discussed it, I can frankly talk about my height, but I love it and genuinely don’t care if someone is short or tall.

Yes, I’m in a ruthless mood.

What we haven’t talked about is actually the simple first thing that comes into mind when we actually hear the phrase ‘Size Matters’. Because see, a writer is only worth his creativity, and well, taking a topic on face value kills it. But I also sometimes believe, that when all of us spend our lives trying to think outside of the box, really, is no one left to think inside it anymore?

So, hmmmm…does size matter?

You bet your ass it does.

Moreover, you bet your enormous / miniscule ass it does.

It’s a materialistic world, with beauty magazines shaping our aspirations and desires, porn defining bedroom behavior, and increasingly greater levels of anorexia and drastic surgery teaching us how to look good. It’s a shallow materialistic world, and we have come to make our peace with it.

Except, men, please don’t look at us with puppy dog eyes and ask us that nervous question, “Does size matter?”

Specially when we know about that supposedly hidden poster of Pamela Anderson you drool over in your alone time. Of course, we know sweetheart, you’re only looking at her deep blue eyes, which remind you of the deep abyss that we fill in your life. Or the way you watch Beyonce repeatedly shake her booty, of course to learn some new dance steps to impress us the next time we go clubbing. We know you salivate and perspire and get all blurry eyed out of your love for us, dear sweethearts.

And so we look into your love filled eyes, and sweetly let you know…

“Of course size doesn’t matter, my love!”

Please, do believe us.

Just don’t ask me while I’m all dreamy eyed and looking at John Abraham pull up his shorts over his peeking butt crack.

Please.

P.S. Uff, of course size doesn’t matter. Not in pleasure, and definitely not in love. If you’re with someone who thinks otherwise, who wants to change even the slightest inch about you, well, believe me, you deserve much better.

P.P.S. Kindly have a sense of humour, this is after all a product of my imagination in the middle of a highly frustrating day at office.


P.P.P.S. I’m really hoping I don’t get thrown off DoV after this one. Keeping my fingers crossed, and literally praying, well, to the moderators of this blog.

Shreya