Size Matters...Duh!

Yaar, frankly I’m tired.

Because ever since I’ve seen the topic ‘Size Matters’ pretty much everything that comes to mind has already been written about. I thought of weight, that’s here, I thought of foot size, people have discussed it, I can frankly talk about my height, but I love it and genuinely don’t care if someone is short or tall.

Yes, I’m in a ruthless mood.

What we haven’t talked about is actually the simple first thing that comes into mind when we actually hear the phrase ‘Size Matters’. Because see, a writer is only worth his creativity, and well, taking a topic on face value kills it. But I also sometimes believe, that when all of us spend our lives trying to think outside of the box, really, is no one left to think inside it anymore?

So, hmmmm…does size matter?

You bet your ass it does.

Moreover, you bet your enormous / miniscule ass it does.

It’s a materialistic world, with beauty magazines shaping our aspirations and desires, porn defining bedroom behavior, and increasingly greater levels of anorexia and drastic surgery teaching us how to look good. It’s a shallow materialistic world, and we have come to make our peace with it.

Except, men, please don’t look at us with puppy dog eyes and ask us that nervous question, “Does size matter?”

Specially when we know about that supposedly hidden poster of Pamela Anderson you drool over in your alone time. Of course, we know sweetheart, you’re only looking at her deep blue eyes, which remind you of the deep abyss that we fill in your life. Or the way you watch Beyonce repeatedly shake her booty, of course to learn some new dance steps to impress us the next time we go clubbing. We know you salivate and perspire and get all blurry eyed out of your love for us, dear sweethearts.

And so we look into your love filled eyes, and sweetly let you know…

“Of course size doesn’t matter, my love!”

Please, do believe us.

Just don’t ask me while I’m all dreamy eyed and looking at John Abraham pull up his shorts over his peeking butt crack.

Please.

P.S. Uff, of course size doesn’t matter. Not in pleasure, and definitely not in love. If you’re with someone who thinks otherwise, who wants to change even the slightest inch about you, well, believe me, you deserve much better.

P.P.S. Kindly have a sense of humour, this is after all a product of my imagination in the middle of a highly frustrating day at office.


P.P.P.S. I’m really hoping I don’t get thrown off DoV after this one. Keeping my fingers crossed, and literally praying, well, to the moderators of this blog.

Shreya

Living life XL- bada hai toh behtar hai :D

             Shopping can be a real pain (yes even for a girl!) if you are the size dreaded by most women. So you make a face and think, "What is the big deal? There are plenty stores that offer you XL size and its anyway the way you carry it that matters". Attitude my foot! Only when you feel comfortable ,with what you are wearing, you feel confident. And what if you never get what you think you will be comfortable in?

             For all those who think M and L are the ultimate big sizes, welcome to the world of an XL girl. Some brands even give the same size in XXL ( Talk about boosting the morale). You call yourself fat and make a cry about that M size that isn't fitting you, while you inwardly grin at the XL girl and think "Atleast I m not that fat".

             There are only a handful of outfits which I have bought out of choice. The others are usually to fill in for what I actually wanted to buy. Say for example, I eye that beautiful kurti in the showroom and I think twice before asking for it  ( most of the time, they are too small) and when I try it out, my assets are crying for space! There comes the sympathetic, enthusiastic salesman and says, " Madam ye try kar lijiye, ye aapka perfect size hai". While your heart is still grieving, you try on the next thing after another until finally something fits well without making you look like you are carrying a baby in your pouch. After all the hardwork, do you really think we have a choice but to buy the one that atleast fit well! Who the hell thought that fat girls had no choice?? And I m going to kill the person who thought fat girls prefer pale colors. I do not understand why .in the name of God, are the worst designs in  XL size??

              Just because I m well endowed I have to make do with white and skin colored bras?? True story from today. I do not get colored bras ever and when I do, they have fitting from hell. 

              The real tragedy of shopping XL is JEANS. Almost every chunk of flesh has the potential to create a problem. Unless you want to end up like potatoes stuffed in jutebag, you ought to try every jeans for its fitting. I once tried a jeans from a brand and purchased another one of the same brand, same size. I was told that same brand, same size means same fitting. Only when I tried it a week later did I realise that it did NOT fit well and by then the time limit for exchange had exceeded. Lessons learnt- Since that day I try my pair before purchasing and cross check again after coming home. The easier option is to switch to leggings or the new breed called Jeggings ( Jeans + Leggings).

            If you have ever crossed the life defining 60 kgs you will relate with this. And those on the left side of the scale, stop calling yourselves fat. IT makes us wonder what we are :( :( 

           You are given surmons on how you should live and what you should do to become thin. You plate is eyed with much interest as to see how much you eat. I.SERIOUSLY.HATE.IT. You are supposed to be immune to the jokes cracked about your weight and if you make a hue over it you are tagged as "over-reacting types". 

           Adding oil,petrol, ether ( I m just showing off my chemistry knowledge of inflammable stuff :P ) to your already burning fire in the belly, are some over blessed friends who never seem to put on weight. No matter what trash they eat!

                                               

          Living XL is not fun. Except when you have small, cute feet. You can slip them into any footwear :D Your joys of shopping are fulfilled there. I m envied for having such a foot by the big footed ones :D 

Size matters to me. For me, bada hai toh behtar hai  :P 

I prefer bigger text while reading. Small text can easily make me sleepy. 

I like having a bigger bed to sleep in. Alone. 

I like my books to be fatter. Nahi nahi not the padhai likhai wala book.

And the list goes on.. 

I know its very easy to say that beauty lies in what is inside a person. But frankly, how many of you check out that fat guy or the plump girl ? 

                                                   

The Best Gift-Mother

Apologies to all the wonderful ladies here, have been MIA for long... Was caught up with many things, some pleasant, some unpleasant and had completely lost the zeal to write. Had to take a few crucial decisions of my life(Its very difficult, I tell you) and was in a state of depression...

Well that phase is pretty much over and i am back to the Blogosphere... with a new enthusiasm, and many new things to share.
First thing first, today being Mother's Day i dedicate a poem to all the beautiful Mom's in the world.. (Its not written by me, will be writing 1 poem very soon...)

 My Mother is a special gift,
A special gift that God gave to me.
I'd be lost and lonely without her,
If God took her away you see.
I love her so very much,
That I couldn't bear to live without her healing touch.
Thank-you God for giving me such a loving Mother,
For I wouldn't want to be a part of no other.

Secondly, I am very happy to share an exciting news with you all... I am in the process of writing a Novel..  I have planned to release it the next year on my 20th Birthday- 23rd May, will keep all of you informed about the developments regarding it...

N yaaay!! My Birthday is 10 days far... :p Yaay!! I am excited! My first Bday with all the darlings, (Can See all the darlings planning something... :P lol)

Lots of Love
Jasmine

Happy birthday Raumali!!

          Time for another Celebration! 

           

          Today we celebrate another young, talented Darling's birthday on Darlings of Venus. She is a budding storyteller with a young touch to her posts. 

          We wish you the best Raumali. May this birthday bring you lots and lots of Happiness :D 

           

       

       Happy birthday to you,

       Happy birthday dear Raumali,

       Happy birthday to you :)

       Sorry we are lil late in the day to wish you .. Hope you had a great time today :) 

The thin line between slim and plump

A long time ago, I read or heard in one of Arundhati Roy's opinions , that being thin and dark is the biggest sin a girl in Kerala could do. And that is to date the only thing I agree with her on. When you are a baby and you are not plump, it is your parents who get the blame , and once you reach that contentious age of puberty, it becomes  your family's , your extended family's , your neighbor's and any random relative who you meet at a wedding's  primary concern.

In spite of having a healthy weight all through my adolescent period, I was extremely thin and hence was usually greeted by people at any function with the same "You have become so thin. In fact , much thinner than the last time I saw you.Are you not eating anything?" This would be followed by an accusing look at my mother and some equally unscientific nonsense like being plump is essential for an easy pregnancy .

I was inwardly happy at being thin , and rejoiced whenever I saw how the plump daughters of the above mentioned  advisers struggled to look good in any dress other than Salwar Kameez and Saree. Secretly I imagined that they might be jealous of my slim figure. At some point , I got married and that was when I realized that if being thin and single was bad , being thin and married was sacrilege- the general idea being that good cooking and happy life are symbolized by bride becoming fat after the wedding. Being busy professionals with little time for cooking did little to help my cause and I remained as thin as ever.

Then I became pregnant, and for the first time in my life , I did not care about my figure or my size . I followed my body's whims and happily put on 25kg of weight and gave birth to a healthy baby. Once the baby was out , I did not want to remain that way, but the food and the Ayurveda medicines prevalent in post-natal care invariably made you look like an over sized pillow and worst of all, the people in my hometown were beginning to look at me with approving eyes. But soon I saw the other side of the misery-that of being fat. The same people started greeting me with "Oh !you have put on weight. Now you are just right.Don't put on any more" . This was just the politest way of telling you that you are putting on weight and for the first time in my life , I understood what it felt like to be really fat.

This was a wake up call, and once back in routine, I tried my best to get back in shape . A reality check told me that S and XS days are history. But then , I console myself that an M isn't bad .I have decided to stick to the M and stay there. I do not want to be one of those plump middle aged ladies with a pot belly that sticks out of their Saree who look twice their real age. Looking at them , I see a future that I dread. I have no idea if I will ever become huge again.. I want to stay small , (at least medium) and healthy as long as I can. But I also do not want to be obsessed with my weight in such a manner as to spend my whole life eating salads.  It is a thin line, but I'm game to walk on it because size matters to me.

Heartbroken

Image Courtesy: www.foter.com

A tear finally escaped and traced its way down her cheek, as she struggled to face reality. She still couldn’t believe it. After all the trust, time and energy she had invested. To be betrayed and discarded so painfully. With a final heartbroken sob, she let go of the broken heel, and hobbled back home.

Size does matter to me, but in very different ways!

Diving straight into the discussion, I should honestly say that I am as confused as an agnostic about whether or not to believe in god. One time, I would claim that I like things small and then other times, I would go for the grandeur. Talking of weight, I have always been a plump girl and hence wanted to be the opposite. And being a comparatively short girl, I would like that size of me to be much bigger. (The other side is always green, remember?) So, I cannot sway towards small numbers or bigger ones, well, I doubt if anyone can define their life in exactly any one measurement. ;)

While there are so many more factors that I can list out, this weight and height are the most superficial yet nagging aspects and hence tada... :P Ever since I can remember, I have envied those who manage to remain skinny in spite of whatever they eat. Not until later, that I came to know it was not an easy life for them either. I have never been teased or picked upon of being obese but still I was always obsessed with the fact that I am not slim either. In fact, I still am. I am a great foodie and love to eat, especially the whole crazy desire being blown up to extra-ordinary proportions by the fact that my mom is an awesome cook. So the result is plumpness! Hmph!

And speaking of height, I don't know where to start. The fact that my dad has wondered aloud if he should pull my legs while my mom holds my head to make me grow is the most embarrassing thing (But honestly I swear, I am not that short, nor is he that tall to be the one to talk about heights). My height lost me a well-deserved attempt for the Republic Day Parade while I was in NCC. I had everything they needed - Marching, Leadership,  a voice that was like specially trained for commanding ;). But I lacked the minimal height spec that they needed and hence the girl who came second in all other aspects but had the required height took all the glory away from me :( This was when I was in eighth grade, yet I could not come to terms with it.

I still wish I could become a little taller and a little skinnier but life never happens the way you want it, does it? :(

So, what drives you crazy when it comes to size?

Cheers.
Keirthana :)

More than Friendship, Less than Love?

Disclaimer: This work of story is pure fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, circumstances and situations is co-incidental and not intentional. The purpose is discussion and not hurting/offending feelings of anyone. It is requested from the readers to keep an open mind and not take the events, mentioned herewith, personally. Thank you.


"....So, I love him." I say. 

"You mean, you love him too." Hanna tells me, with a poker face.

"...Unfortunately, yes." I give her a sad look and go back to my writing.

"Do you even realize what you are doing?" She says, accusation and judgment making her words seem harsher than I expected them to be. 

"Yes. I know. I love two people. At the same time. Equally." I say, flat out.

"You are cheating on him! Your boyfriend, Ira...you have been with him for 2 years now!" Hanna yells, raising her arms in exasperation.

"I am not cheating on Karan. I know Anish for 4 years now and I have not even touched him. I just love him. I cannot explain." I say, knowing that it's a lost cause. There's no point in trying to break the stereotypical shackles she is trying to bind me with. Actually, she is just saying what this society has taught us. Morality. Monogamy. One Partner and all that Jazz.

"Wow. And what if Karan comes to know of this?" She is seething. I am wracking inside with conflict. Anish is with a girl for past 8 years. I like his girl. But neither of us knew this would happen.

"He will leave me. Or, may be he will understand..." I look at Hanna. Perfect. Happily committed to a man for past 7 years, with plans of marriage in pipeline. I am a lost cause.

 "Ira, you must tell Karan." Hanna's voice shatters my reverie as my pen dents the page.

"Why? Is there even a need? Anish is my friend. Very Good friend. I love him! He makes me happy! What is SO wrong in that?" I snap. I have no right to do so. But I am tired of judgment. So tired. I am not breaking up with Karan. Both Anish and I are clear of our positions. We eventually will have to choose. And we both know what our choices will be...then where is the problem??

"Ira! He loves you. And this. This is cheating. You are TWO-TIMING!" There. She says it. I flinch as she continues. 

"I love Karan too! Come on Hannah! Please. Don't make this seem like a problem...please." I try to make her understand with my eyes.

"The problem lies with you. Right here. Do you understand?" She points at her head. "It's women like you who tarnish the image of relationships. You appear to be Miss Goody-Two-Shoes and then men want to protect you, keep you happy and Voila! Another one caught dead in your snares." Ouch. Hannah has now called me a whore, a slut.

"Hannah...I did not make Anish fall in love with me. You also know very well, I stand up for myself. I have never - never asked a man to help me." How do I make her understand?

"That' s what they fall for, don't they? Independent yet vulnerable. Beautiful yet unaware. Flirts but oh-so-innocent." She glares.

"I want you to leave, right now Hannah. Please. I thought you would not judge me. But, well, I guess I am alone now." I had always maintained that men were better friends sometimes, because they were simple and everything was literal for them. No hidden meanings or grudges. Bro-fist would take care of that.

"F**k you. YOU deserve to be alone. Ruining three lives because of your selfishness." Hannah stalks out of my house.

Image Source: cosmopolitan.com

That's when I cannot stop crying. I am not selfish. How am I? Have I done such a big sin? How do I change my feelings? Who's at mistake here? Is this even a mistake. We write books on love. We say it's beautiful. Then why am I not allowed to love? 

I am two-timing - because I am in love with two men. Because Anish makes me happy. There's something which holds me back when I am with Karan. I mean, I can tell him things - I love him. More than I can imagine - I am comfortable with him. Everything - everything is good with him. Physical and Emotional factor - both. He even thinks I am beautiful when I have a running nose. You get the idea.

But with Anish, I had instantly hit it off. Chemistry was there. Always was. We were more like a bunch of morons - talking, laughing, coffees, fun things like that. With Anish - before we realized we were in love - it was like a wait of the day. To hear each other's voice, teasing, flirting, discussing. When we had met, I was single then. And it was good - I was never the complicated one. And then one day, Karan came. I was swept off by him. Anish knew this - that I was not a keeper for long. He just wanted my friendship, my presence in his life. The same was what I wanted. After an year and a half of togetherness, we both had realized that this was more than friendship and less than love. Or may be, there was no word for it. Every time I speak to Anish now, it's like the World rights itself. He says we both are lousy boyfriend and girlfriend - because we both are so flawed in loving one another. 

Image Source: depositphotos.com

Am I the only one who has harbored feelings for another man, while being with a man? Okay, the society depends on my monogamy - but - if I can not help myself, if I need the person, if I feel happy with him - is my choice so wrong? No, don't. Don't say anything. You would ask me to choose. You would say, get psychiatric help, because humans cannot be in love with two people. It is lust or something fucked up like that. But lust and love cannot be kept separate for a long time. Where's there's a spark, there's ought to be a fire.

I cannot bear to hurt Karan, I love him. I cannot imagine leaving him for something, which is not even there in form. I also know that leaving Anish would break me. Same is with him. He is in a relationship for 8 years. That would make me the other woman. And I cannot bear that. I love his girl. She is wonderful - cheerful, happy and so so so loving. No one like this deserves to be hurt. So, where does this leave us? Anish respects Karan. So much so, that when we fight - Karan and I - he tells me, where I am wrong and why I should understand Karan's point. Things are so easy with Anish. So simple. I don't even want him to be with me...nor is he contemplating to leave her. We just want to be. Unspoken. Unbridled.

Image Source: n3verhaveiever.tumblr.com

There is no choice. Anish and I will never be together - but we need each other's presence in each other's life - as a fall back cushion. I remember him saying, "Ira. If there comes a time, when you have to make a choice, which I know, will come. You know who to choose." Of course we know. We are grown ups. So why? Why do we become hypocrites when it comes to something different? Why do we judge people, when we have our own lives to live? Why, why we don't let someone be?

Because we, at the end of the day, are molded by society. We are spineless gits. We love to ride on a high horse when someone tries to take a stand. We think - Thank God, I am not in her place. We ourselves would have thought so many times of someone, while we are with someone. Then why am I called a slut? Why does loving two men make me a whore? Isn't love pure? Shouldn't I be given time to sort it out? Shouldn't I just  let it be, when it is not affecting our current relationships? 

I sigh and get back to writing. I do not feel guilty anymore. Should I?

PS: I know, a bold attempt. :D But well, life is all about bold and beautiful. Isn't it? Lemme know what your take is, darlings? Blessed Be!

Stolen...

Oh Goddamnit! Stop it now! I yell mentally, at my incessantly ringing desk phone, cell phone, PC Pings and door bell in general. Outwardly I say, “Come in!” in a serious, yet-cheerful tone. By the world’s standards, I have turned 45 today. Vibrant and Successful. That’s what the Magazine Cover reads – Special Edition, for my Birthday. A headache is creeping in slowly to wish me as well.

“Good evening Sir. Mr. B has arrived…erm…with special birthday wishes.” My secretary Rhea announces with a grimace. She is a young lady and keeps to herself most of the time, except for when I have assignments for her. She is good. Respects my space and my privacy.

“Send him in. And no more calls for the day. Cancel all my meetings and appointments. You can leave once that is arranged. Good evening.” I tell her and start packing my materials on the desk. I need a break from this extra-shiny, extra-metallic, extra-organized and prim life. I need to be myself. I need to really celebrate my birthday with a tiny cake and just my family. Family. That word – for which I had dreamt this BIG, is no longer with me. My parents passed away old. And my wife – she would still be waiting at home for me, I know. May be, one day she would leave as well. Who wants to be with a man who has no time for his wife or family? I exhale, rubbing my temples and rolling up my sleeves. There is a huge pile of gift boxes in the corner of my chamber, few cheques, a car key and other such temptations. The Bigger the Gifts – The Bigger the Favors. Why is this man taking so much time?

Image Source: philanthropy.com

“Hello Hello Mr. Aryan! See what I've got for you!” B. enters without any announcement. He has a plastered fake grin and holds a paper which has an exotic looking palatial hotel’s face printed on it. A Presidential Suite – for one day and one night. Very thoughtful. I extend my hand and take the offered present.

“Thank you Mr. B. I must leave now, my family waits for me.” I get up, wearing my laptop bag’s strap across my shoulder, pick up my coat and start walking towards the flush doors of my cabin. What am I doing here anyway?

“Mr. Aryan….that construction project site…heh heh.” Damn the idiot. Bloody bloodsucker.

“Of course, Mr. B. Can we talk about this on Monday?” I give him a stern no-nonsense look, with a smile and walk out. I pass Rhea on the way, signaling her to leave and let B go. She nods and wishes a Happy Birthday. I give her a smile and leave. Now that I am out of my building, I desperately need to see Naina. My wife, my girlfriend, my lover. Now, she has remained a mere presence as I have ignored her for so long because of my work and other responsibilities. I sigh. What should I do? I hope she hasn’t planned a surprise with a million guests. I hate surprises. And today I need rest.

I park my car in our garage and walk slowly towards my home. The night has turned cold. It is already 10. No time to celebrate, huh? I shake my head and knock the door. Feeling irritated at Naina, I am ready to burst, when the door opens. I flinch, involuntarily, dreading people. But, there is no one. No one except Naina. My breath catches in my throat. She looks beautiful. She has done make up today – not the gaudy whattheycallit parlor stuff – just a kohl and lip gloss – strawberry, if I am right.

Image Source: evedika.com

“Happy Birthday, Aryan.” There she is - my Girlfriend. I am angry at her, ain't I? Where is my headache? But why is she dressed up. No, I am not going out.

“Thank you. Umm, why are you…?” I leave my sentence trailing. Red looks beautiful on her.

“Oh this. Umm, why don’t you change? I have a little gift for you.” She gives me a smile and after so many years, I feel my heart thumping.

“Naina…look…I don’t want to go out anywhere…please. I am tired. Really.” I go for the sterner tone, but she looks at me – her beautiful eyes – they look a little hurt but also, shining with humor and I die.

“I know. Lazy Bum. I am not taking you out anywhere. Just go and change.” Wow. She almost sounds like the old times. I can find myself agreeing. What is happening?

“Fine.” I mumble and go to our room. Meanwhile, I can hear her singing to herself, opening and closing refrigerator, the sound of her bangles – I think I am in love. I change into my night robe, welcoming the peace and quiet of our home. I am early, today. For my standards. I find B’s gift, crumple it and throw it in the dustbin.

“You ready Aryan?” Naina asks, peeping into our room and grins at me. She looks impish and I suddenly feel like running after her.

“What? Why are you laughing at me?” I ask her.

“Happy Birthday Old man. Here’s your gift.” Naina is giving me her full smile and I feel like proposing to her once again. She is beautiful – fine lines feathering her eyes. Her lips – still soft, still beautiful. It has been so long, that I have loved her or even showed that I care. I feel a lump in my throat and move towards her.  She stops me and raises her left hand. From her index finger, dangles a key. I look at her puzzled.

Image Source: weheartit.com

“Ohho, take it! And come with me.” She gives up trying to read me and leads me ahead – to…the staircase. Which room are we headed to? Yes, it has been that long. Usually I come home, eat and sleep.

“Naina?”

“Shhh…now open this.”

“Terrace?” I look at her, wondering what she has been doing.

“Yep. Now open the door. I cannot wait anymore. It’s almost 11:45.” She squeals. I laugh. Something is wrong with her too. I open the door to our terrace. And there is the most beautiful gift I have received today. A table is set for two – with a small pineapple cake in the centre. There is – I laugh out loud – Orange juice? Naina drank occasionally but this was our favorite in olden times – thele waala juice. I grin at her, while she motions for me to wait. She points at one corner – there is a sofa swing. Aaah. Beautiful. And then – as I am suddenly aware of the night and the silence around us – Naina hugs me.

Image Source: bibliocad.com

“It’s been so long and you seemed to drift away… I had no idea what to give to you. So I am giving you a little peace – I am borrowing from this night. Will you watch the stars with me? It’s Sunday tomorrow…” Naina has tears in her eyes. She had missed me. I remember of her love for the stars and night sky. I used to love that about her. I reminisce of the phone calls, when I would listen to her for hours talking about this star, that mythology, this belief. I loved her knowledge. She knew every constellation – and also, when the moon would rise. My girlfriend is a pseudo-astronomer. Did I say Girlfriend?

“I would love to. Thank you for this time, Naina...” I say, holding her close to my heart. In the serene silence of the night, I celebrate for the first time, in so many years a beautiful birthday with my wife, my family.

Who says size matters? Only the Size of your heart does and I had the biggest heart in my arms tonight.

I like it small

Size matters.

Does it, really?

Of course it does!

And no, it’s not the ‘bigger the better’ kinda matters. In my case, ‘the smaller, the better’.

Now put your perverted minds to rest. And read on.

By now, you all (or the four of you who read my blog regularly :/) must be quite familiar with my weight-issues, right? Alright, for those who are not- I used to be super-skinny all my life. Like, really thin. Maybe because of all the asthma medicines that I took as a child, I never used to put on weight. I was flat-chested till I was about 15, and my wrists used to bear an uncanny resemblance to dry twigs. My parents tried everything from Chyavanaprash to vitamin tablets to god-knows-what-and-all to plump me up. They were getting rather tired of being asked “Don’t you give her anything to eat?” Even after I got into college, no one used to believe that I’m not in school anymore. I never even used to check my weight, because I knew it would never cross 50. Heck, it never even hit 50. It was always at 49.

Since my metabolism was super-fast, and I didn’t put on weight no matter what, I never used to worry about what I ate. I was, and still am, a major foodie. I find comfort and joy in food.

Anyways, sometime before my 25th b’day, others started commenting on how I was putting on weight. I obviously did not notice because, you know, I see myself every day, so I didn’t really notice a change. My clothes were getting a little too comfy, but I didn’t give much bhaav to that, thinking (and secretly hoping) that they probably shrank.

Then it reached a point where EVERYONE started telling me that I was putting on weight, and some of my best-fitting clothes refused to move below my head. When I went home, everybody was surprised to see me. They had never thought that they would live to see the day when I would be plump.

Then I checked my weight. It had hit 54. I had gained 5 kilos in just a couple of months.

It was official. My metabolism had finally given up on me.

None of my old clothes fit me. Where earlier, I used to confidently pick up size XS or S without even having to try it on, I was now having to pick up size M. And sometimes, size L, if I wanted it really loose. It was a major blow to my ego.
Me?! Wearing size M?!!! How did I ever reach that level!

I don’t even look at the S and XS now. I go straight for the M.

But in certain brands, like Fabindia and Max, size S of the kurtas fit me perfectly. So now I go for those more, because it gives me an awesome feeling that size S does fit me after all. :)

I know, it sounds sad, but for someone who has been skinny all her life, the size of her clothes do matter. In fact, the S-er the better.

I’m trying my best to get back to my old shape now. My aim is to hit 50-51. And hopefully, I will soon. It’s not about others calling me fat anymore (yes, I did get called fat). It’s about me wanting to look good and in good shape.

Size S and XS, run all you want, because sooner or later, I’m gonna fit into you.

New Topic , New start

        Darlings its really saddening to see DOV going through dark days. From the time when there was a new post every day there are only a couple or more in a week!
        I agree most of you were occupied with work and studies and life happening but a minimum of one post per month was also not followed. This is not done. That's the least you have to do for this space to be alive.
        Its only the new members who are keeping the post coming.
        Let me tell you one thing, DOV is not the place where you join and publicize your personal blog and then disappear. We created this place for much more.
        Those responsible for the sections have not updated in ages and topic of discussion has been ignored.
       
       This is just not happening darlings. We need to come forward and keep this working. The blog should not be stagnating. New members are  most welcome but don't make DOV a medium for advertising your own blog. Rather take it as a space where you can speak out and mix along with other writers. And that can happen only through "Commenting", participating in discussions and being active with the sections.
        What has been wrong cannot be undone but I wish to make a new start for DOV.
         I need you all to contribute to the sections. The sections are "fashion", "art", "cooking" "music". If you are good with any of it then share it with us.
         Seeing the poor response to topics of dicussion I had discontinued putting up new ones. I  don't get why there are no posts inspite of the excitement on the topics so far. I m making a small start in this direction with the new topic for this month.
          The topic this month is "Size matters"
          You are free to interpret this topic in whatever way you can. Its kind of an open topic and chosen because of the variety that can come with this. Talk about whatever size issues you have! It could  be humor too!
          You can write anonymously if you have some problem revealing your identity. Just mail the post to darlingsofvenus@gmail.com

P.S: For those members who have been lazy this is the last time we are asking you to post atleast once a month!