Thank YOU

Getting blamed for his mistakes. Covering for his lazy ass when he is in trouble. Quickly scribbling down answers to his homework just so he won’t get punished. Funding his slightly under-the-table activities without mom’s knowledge. Bhai-dooj and rakshabandhan. Showing him off proudly to all your friends when he suddenly grows three feet taller than you. He has always been that annoying brother-fly buzzing in your ear but a buzz that you love with unparalled intensity.

***

Big, bear hugs. Annoying PJs. Bird-watching together. Only person who is allowed to criticize the boyfriend. Making fun of your poor taste in fashion. Having your back when the boss is pisssssed. Calling you one of the bros and punching you like you are one. Making deals to get work done. Competitive. Laughter. Well-timed jokes. Food. The solid presence of a bestie that you will be lucky to keep around for a lifetime.

***

Jostling for space in front of the mirror when you are running late for work. The sudden hug that comes out of the blue to shoo away your blues. A concern about the number of glances your hemline is going to draw. Stubbly, scratchy kisses that chafe your cheek. Broad shoulders that take the weight off your sagging ones. The slight temperature that has you worried out of your mind. He is the better half, who makes you want to be better.

***

We hear about women being abused and raped and hurt and we cringe, we die a little and we send up prayers. And then we thank the Almighty heartily for sending some angels who have taken it upon themselves to keep you safe, who love you enough to flay alive anyone who threatens your happiness.

This Women’s Day I thank all the men in my life, all of them. 

I thank them for not eroding my self-esteem, for egging me on to strive for more, for better, for believing that I can do much better, for not judging me when I fail, for protecting me, for not hurting me, for lending wings to my dreams, for just being there. 

Thanks to them, I am the woman I want to be.

Behind The Veil

The mirror reflected her beautiful eyes, spilling over with equal parts of love and pain. And then, he came up behind her, laying a white dupatta gently over her head, both charming grin and messy hair in place. Realization dawned - he was gone and so was her ability to love so deep, so pure.

 P.S: Not my genre of writing, not by a far shot.

Monsoon Memories

The rains make me feel and bring back a lot of things: playing in puddles, paper boats that turn to slush, hot chocolate, old Enid Blytons, sneezes, Mom's pakoras, fresh greenery, people complaining about the cold and the damp that I love.... 

But the Bangalore rains seem to bring out one more emotion from within - romance. So I sit by my window, watch the drops trickle down and spread their chill and try to write to the bottom of it all, the only way I know how. 

In the monsoon, I remember steamed up windows, a tangle of arms and legs under the big fluffy duvets and huge cream white pillows. 

In the monsoon, I remember the coziness of crawling into your lap as you try to work on a project, successfully distracting you and curling up against you with my lips at the thudding pulse on your neck.

In the monsoon, I remember waking up early to make you a hot cup of elaichi tea that clears foggy memory and brings back images of last night.

In the monsoon, I remember falling asleep on the crook of your shoulder comforted by your warmth, satiated by your presence.

In the monsoon, I remember skipping puddles with my short legs, or trying to, as you, long legged and built like a bull, stand on the other side, trying hard not to laugh at my puny efforts.

In the monsoon, I remember the sight of the light rain dusting your luxurious hair with drops that you comb through with your hands, making you seem that much hotter that my stomach clenches with unusual lust.

In the monsoon, I remember your big ham hands around my small, pudgy ones trying to get them to warm up just a little bit and your sighs of frustration when they don’t.

In the monsoon, I remember fan wars. You can’t sleep with it switched on. I can’t sleep with it switched off.

In the monsoon, I remember the look you shoot at me from across the room speaking of all those things that you, we, could be doing instead of being stuck there.

In the monsoon, I remember that wicked glint in your darkening eyes that I have come to know as the precursor to things I dare not speak of in the light of day.

In the monsoon, I remember the rain beating down at the window that does not distract you from your true intent.

In the monsoon, I remember the day you proclaimed in front of the world that I am yours, the day you made me yours forever.

The monsoon. The memories.
All of ours start and end from there, don’t they?

Wedding Bells Or Blues?

So much has happened since I was last here. I don't dare apologize, I can only promise that I will be regular enough here from here on.

How have you been, Darlings?

Anyhoo..

I was one who never shied away from the thought of marriage. As in, though I knew it was something that would only happen sometime in the far, non-forseeable future, I always knew that one day when it is time to commit to the man I love in front of all and sundry, I would be ready and I would be happy to.

Friends are falling like flies getting married to men they don't know anything about and some have even had babies in the time I took to grow up and get my head screwed on tight enough. Blogger friends went off to blissful married life too and I silently send up a prayer that they are happy. And though I realised that I have gotten to a point where I can legally choose to tie myself to someone's neck(?), the only thing that really freaked me out was the thought of losing my childhood, losing the simplicity of existence.


I still never had a problem in looking at white dresses and wedding photographers (though, chances of me having a white wedding are less than zero), well, I will be a bride someday, won't I?

Recently a situation came up which might mean that I will be married by April next year. And that's when all hell broke lose. I spent the entire day palpitating, hands shaking and completely unfocussed.

I realise I'll be 24 by then but wtf? How can I commit to someone, anyone, without the guarantee that I will not abhor him in a couple of years for all the things I didn't know about him. How can I make such a big commitment knowing that things can fall apart as easily as they come together... Sometimes even more easily. How can I let a man have all I have got without the guarantee that he won't throw it back in my face?

More importantly, how can I know he will not tire of me or get bored with me? Somehow the thought of the man losing interest scares me more than anything else does. 

When a relationship breaks up, only the parties concerned get hurt but marriage involves families, relatives, friends, classmates, the world and their uncle. And considering marriage is for a good solid 50 years, I wouldn't say my fears are not grounded enough. Would you?

I admit that my faith was always shaky subconsciously given my past and all that I have seen through my childhood, adolescence and recent adulthood, but I need to be able to commit some time right? Relationships were never a problem, now when I think of it, probably because there is no finality in them.

But marriage? The word scares me.

Happy birthday to the chocolaty girl!

Yes we are a little late in the day, apologies for that.
Its the happy buhday of our much loved Chocolate obsessed  Priyanka aka PeeVee..
She is one writer who we are dying to read more from. Her impeccable story lines, her cute random posts and her abstract thoughts is a treat for the readers.
Life might be happening and keeping you busy but PeeVee you are loved and waited for. Your birthday is just the perfect day to tell you that we love you :)

Here's your birthday cake..


Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear PeeVee,
Happy birthday to you..
*claps*

We hope all your wishes come true and we see  you soon back with us :)
Have a great year sweetheart..

Chicken-Soup-For-The-Indian-Woman-Type Post

This one is for you Stixsu; 

I hope the dedication makes you smile, even if the post doesn't.

I decided a long time ago that I won't write a blog post that is about any incidents that happen in my life unless they are funny, simply for the reason that they happen to every one else too and me harping about it will not make it any more interesting to readers. But this, I had to.


I was in bed happily experimenting with the new music app I got, when she got onto my (upper bunk) bed and flopped down next to me, facedown. She used to do that when she was upset (I'm her personal hotchocolate+rockyroad+guybashing specialist) but for the past few months she has been coming 'upstairs' just to visit. 
(This is hostel culture for the uninitiated. Our bunks are our personal spaces, much like our homes which others can 'visit')


So I assumed that she was visiting and banged my head on in time to Pink's screaming until I heard sniffling. My heart almost stopped on hearing that bunny-like sound for she is very dear to me and I hate seeing her cry or get hurt, especially since she's a gentle soul.

I hugged her close and said all the right things just to make her stop after which the story slowly came out. She confided one of her deepest, darkest secrets, a demon that is still plaguing her, with one of her closest guy friends (my classmate, as well) who, typically, behaved like a jerk about it and was insensitive. 


She put herself out there because she trusted him and made herself vulnerable. And got hurt in a way that is not going to go away soon. For every time she thinks of her friend, it will be this hurt that surfaces rather than all the happy memories they have had together. 


That is one friendship shot to hell and flushed down the drain.


My point here is that, don't make yourself vulnerable to anybody except those two people in your life who are 'Your People'. It could be your bff and your sibling, it could be two of your childhood friends, it could be your mother and your father, it could be your mother and that guy you have decided to spend the rest of your life with... it could be anybody. The only qualification is that they shouldn't judge you for anything and they should know you better than you know yourself.  


Because at the end of the day, everyone else cares about only themselves first and they don't care how bad you get hurt. They might feel bad about being the reason, but that's the extent of it.  And you all know how badly hurt can hurt na, I don't need to explain how it feels inside when you just want to curl up into a ball and fade away into oblivion just because someone hurt you. We have all been there.


Put yourself out only when you're sure that the other person understands what it takes to do that and how much it takes out of you. Don't confide fears, insecurities, dreams and hopes to people who don't care what happens to you either way. Don't place your trust in people who value it.


Protect yourself, your fragile psyche. 
For very few, very, very few are worth getting hurt over.


P.S: I might be biased by my own experiences, the world might be slightly brighter than how I choose to see it but only slightly.

Inspiring DOV!

Darlings of Venus has come a long, long way since its start. We've grown from a mere 7 followers (or the 'core members' as Maithili likes to say!) to having over a hundred followers. And that is a huge deal.

Off-late, everybody seems to be busy, lacking inspiration and ideas for the blog.

I was wondering what we could do about it and found myself browsing through the initial posts on the blog. The excitement on the first day of posting on this blog, and wondering who the other co-authors were (I wasn't following many of them so I din't know anybody except one or two!), and what they were going to post.

One post that really touched my heart back then, has managed to do so even now. That one post, reminded me of the original reason why we all got together in this little space. Why we wanted an all-girl blog and what was so special about it. Since we have many new readers/contributors on board now, am hoping this inspires you all to make this blog see brighter days.. again!

(Some of you might have read it already, but no harm in reading it again.. because this one's a gem!)

Once upon a time, Mom went into labor. Yeah, that’s where it all starts, doesn’t it? (This is the part after the Happily-Ever-After, the one they seldom show)

After quite some time of panicking, huffing & puffing, screaming, several glasses of ice-chips and hours of birthing that tested her threshold of pain, out popped an itsy-bitsy baby.

‘It’s a girl!’ cried the Doctor. Mom was just happy it was a healthy baby and Dad couldn’t speak for the emotion choked his throat up. Inside, they both questioned their parenting abilities while vowing to bring her up her like the princess she was.

Dad looked at his two girls, proud beyond words can explain. His little nest was complete now. His love had borne fruit.

Mom didn’t mind that she, for the first time since they fell in love, didn’t have her handsome husband’s undivided attention; he was philandering it all on the little miracle that she’d borne. She didn’t mind at all.

They went home.

Her first smile had them on their knees, her cry had them scampering for solutions. They recorded her every movement, reveled in the length of her pretty eyelashes, rejoiced in her deep dimple and knew she had them both twisted around her little finger.

Mom had to fight her own tears when she cried on the first day of school. She went an hour early to pick her baby up just because she couldn’t wait any longer. She worried so much; what if she gets hungry, what of some kid pinches her, what if… Nobody knew her baby like she did.

Dad’s heart almost broke when she came back from the bicycle ride with a scraped knee. While he whispered comforts into her ear and rocked her to sleep on his chest, he wondered how he’d deal with a broken heart, God forbid.

She grew in leaps and bounds.

Mom had conversations with her. Told her about the birds and bees and all in between all the while wondering if her little princess had grown old enough to have The Talk with. She still seemed too young, a mere child.

Dad watched her from afar, playing the disciplinarian and refusing to let her go for the ten day class trip to Goa. He didn’t budge; not to her tears or rants or door-banging. Later he told Mom to take her shopping.

She drifted apart; from the parents, who she’d admired, loved, trusted. They became strangers while a whole new world opened up to her. She experimented with her boundaries; she touched, got burnt and touched again.

She had fun. She took pictures, she flirted, she drank coffee and bunked classes. She flunked and topped and wrote bull in her papers. She tried on clothes and didn’t buy them. She painted her nails black and didn’t care. She made a lot of noise, learnt to drive in her friend’s car, ran along the beach, barefoot screaming with her BFF’s – her oyster, the world and beyond.

She fell in love. And got her heart broken into a million pieces. She learnt. And grew.

She fought for her individuality, refused to be swayed by the society. Stood stead by what she believed in.

She made choices, her own. She lived with it. She made mistakes and learnt how to make them go away.

But somewhere along the way she realized that the only ones who’d stay with her through hell and high water were Mom and Dad. She tried to deal with Mom’s concern, she tried to do right. She tried not to wear the mini-skirt in front of dad.

She tried to understand. Because she loved them.

She got a job, one that she loved. If she was ecstatic, they were beyond proud. She did well, she became a career woman. She was the Office Bitch and the one they came to for all the answers. She multi-tasked and blew minds. She reached the top of the ladder and yet remained Dad’s little ‘peanut’.

She fell in love again. He stayed. And made a difference. And made her happy. She lived in seventh heaven with her feet planted firmly on ground zero and realized that this is it.

She got married. And it broke her heart. She didn’t understand why she’d to give her home up, leave her parents. And they reassured her that it was the beginning of her wonderful new life, that they’d always be there.

She became a mother. And our story comes a full circle.

She understood. Everything.

The sacrifices, the unconditional love, the choices, the concern.

She cherished them, the pillars in her life.

She prayed for them, their well-being.

She loved them back, unconditionally.

For she realized that without them, she’d be nothing.

Thus the story of a girl goes on. 

It’s your story and mine. Your life and mine. 

Your problems and mine. Your Bloody Mary and mine.

Let’s share...

The heartbreaks and the Kohl,

The celebrations and the fruit roll,

The love and the laughter,

The tears and the PMS,

The secrets and treats,

The sisterhood and the lust,

The forever issues with weight.

Cheers to bad hair days, being ourselves, getting rid of jerk boyfriends and bitchy ex-friends, cheers to making a place for ourselves in the world and getting our make up right. Cheers to blowing their minds and having fun. Cheers to kicking back and relaxing and to getting down and dirty. 

Being a girl is SO much fun.
Lets be girls together.


Posted by PeeVee. You can find the original post and comments here

Interview of the Month with PeeVee

                                                  

                                                                       the chocoloate obsessed PeeVee

RED HANDED:  hey

 PeeVee: Hoh. Finally :P

 RED HANDED:  give me ten min will u babe? I have never interviewed someone

  :P

Just returned from gym

  Let me prepare

 PeeVee: LOL. Sure.

 me: :D nps..

RED HANDED:  What makes you angry?

 me: We're starting now? o_O

 RED HANDED:  sorry that was an interview question

  :P

  nonononono

  I HATE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 PeeVee :D chill girl... its faaaaaiiiyyn :P

  Should I answer that? :P

RED HANDED:  no...not now

  Interview hasn’t started

 PeeVee Heehee okie..

RED HANDED:  ok so let’s start?

  this is the most not at all prepared interview

 PeeVee :) Sure..

RED HANDED:  My mother is so inquisitive..she is cleaning the same place again and again and looking at my screen

 RED HANDED:  Ok so let’s start now..

 PeeVee  Okie.

 RED HANDED:  Why so chocolate obsessed eh ?

PeeVee :D Because I am. Chocolate lifts my mood and it's gotten me through some dark times. I can't go a day without chocolate, literally. I know, sounds over-dramatic. But it actually happens to be true. Very few days go by without a chocolate-peevee romance :D

 RED HANDED:  so still maintaining the figure? What’s the secret?

PeeVee Have you even seen my FB photos? I'm a mountain. Ok not so much but pretty close :P I am almost equally crazy about swimming so maybe that helps? It's nothing I consciously do though for I'm allergic to gyms/waking up early-walking.

Yeah, yeah... I have a very 'healthy' lifestyle :P

 RED HANDED:  If you are a mountain then I am a blue whale :D...

  So what made you start this blog?

PeeVee Cheers to that :P

The blog? Quite simply, I started it because my then BFF did. And I could pretend that people read the crap I used to post. Then in June it really caught on and I was hooked. I love writing. I love the comments, the mails people send saying they love the way I write, the actual real life friends I make, the easy banter, how I get to know so much about people I would have otherwise never met, the feedback I get for my fiction, different styles that other people follow. But most of all, the writing. I love the whole hoopla of blogging now :)

  And I hear you yawning already :P

RED HANDED:  hahaha No I am not yawning. I love you!!

 PeeVee Awww, I love you too :D :)

RED HANDED:  I really think you should buy the site. chocolateobsessed.com

  Who or what is your first love and why?

PeeVee HAHAHA :D I will someday :P

  Unfair question :) I have too many first loves :)

  Too many to pick one..

RED HANDED:  I am adamant :D. Answer me!!

PeeVee Ok people - my mother and my guy. And things - Apart from chocolate, I love books, animals and my laptop. Again, in that order.

  I can't live minus any of these :)

 RED HANDED  All right, so you are a Mummy's pet and not Daddy's girl?

PeeVee Nope :) Mummy's attached tail, if you will :) We're inseparable.

 RED HANDED:  Rate your blog out of 5

Rate*

 PeeVee Whaaaa? I can't rate my own blog _

 RED HANDED:  Self confidence babe...Rate it

 PeeVee How can I? YOU rate it.

 RED HANDED:  I am asking the question here :D

PeeVee :P oh comes on

  Chalo.... content - 2.35 layout - 4 :) But a biased, BIASED rating it is-_-

 RED HANDED:  :D You are your own greatest critic

  So criticize yourself now.. What you hate about yourself

 PeeVee Gah. I hate it when you're right :P

My temper. To say it's destructive is an understatement. One thing I have yet to get a rein on.

RED HANDED:  Heh. I cannot imagine a sweetheart like you boiling away to glory.

  So your favourite blogs.

 PeeVee :D that's the thing. Most people I know don't even know that about me. I end hurting the ones closest.

Wayyyyyyyyy too many, darling... :D

Current favourite that I'm digging through the archives is Serenading Serendipity, though. But there are several favourites that I have, the authors will know for I don't fail to comment on every single post of theirs.

RED HANDED:  So are you a good liar?

PeeVee When it comes to things like where I was and all, who I was with, like to Mum and relatives? Yes. I'm awesome at making up whole scenarios WITH proof :P
Serious things? No. One I'm lying to will see right through my clumsy fumbling.

 RED HANDED:  Your guy is lucky then, super lucky. Okie so how about some funny questions now.

  fun*

PeeVee :D
Sure...

 RED HANDED:  If you were a car, what kind would you be and why?

PeeVee One second eh. I'll show you the picture..

 RED HANDED:  here :D

PeeVee http://pokycars.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/9e0ae_Audi__753641429_61e982628a.jpg this. Audi Quattro, r8... sigh sexy stuff, that.

But you know, I prefer bikes to cars:D

RED HANDED:  why do you think you are that car?

PeeVee It's sleek and fast. And always on track.Great brakes.And a show-stopper. All I want to be :)

 RED HANDED:  Ah sizzling!

PeeVee Thank you :D

 RED HANDED:  If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?

 PeeVee Ooooh, interesting question! Lemme see...I'd probably want Emma Watson. For she can be down to earth and glamorous at the same time... And she's almost exactly my age, a bonus.

RED HANDED:  Oh nice choice! And what type of a movie will it be?

PeeVee Hands down a romantic comedy with stress on the comedy. One fight scene and burning cars twice through the movie. Plenty of hot guys but only one actual sweet sa, hot sa hero. End will be sad though. I might even choose to die, just for the extra senti-senti :P

  And NO punch dialogues whatsoever _ Had enough of them :P

RED HANDED:  LOL dramatic eh!!!!

 PeeVee That's me :D

 RED HANDED:  If you were a superhero, what superpowers would you want

PeeVee MIND-READING!!! For sure. I've been fascinated by what Jean-Grey can do. And invisibility like Kitty. I wouldn't mind being Rogue or Wolverine sometimes :)

 RED HANDED:  best of everything!!

  :D

if aliens landed in front of you and in exchange of anything you desire, offered you a posiion in their planet, what would you want?

PeeVee As in they'll give me something I want but take me with them?

 RED HANDED:  no they want you to give up something you really desire and give you a position in their planet

PeeVee Erm as in I have to give up something I love?

 RED HANDED:  Yes, so that the aliens give you a position in their planet

PeeVee Chocolate probably. Easier giving it up than people, I suppose...

RED HANDED:  So you wouldn’t think twice if you are given a chance to stay forever in their planet.

PeeVee Oh like that... I thought it was compulsory that I go, HELL no, I wouldn't. I'd just tell them to take a cow or something :P

RED HANDED:  Hhahhah ok so Miss PeeVee tell us why were you so low in your post http://priyankavictor.blogspot.com/2011/12/subtle-winds-of-change.html

 PeeVee Ahahahaha.... can we not go there? It's kind of an amalgamation of events that I don't really want to relive...

Sorry..

 RED HANDED:  All right, no one likes to do that..so I understand :)

 PeeVee Thank you :)

 RED HANDED:  If you had only six months left to live, what would you do with the time?

PeeVee Month 1: Tell all the people who have made a difference in my life that I love them, they mean a lot.

 Month 2: Make sure I attend to my responsibilities which are a very, very many.... Or get someone to take care of them.

Month three: Get married.

 Month four: Spend the whole time with my family.

Month 5: Pack my bags and go out into the world and do everything that I have always wanted to. Get stone drunk and wasted, jump off a cliff, meet famous people, tell Mila Kunis how sexy she is, slap some people who irritate the crap outta me, eat French baguettes and cheese with fine wine, go see every place that I have ever read/heard about, revel in having lived so long.... you get the point..

 That's Month 5 & 6.

 RED HANDED:  Haahahahah count me in for the Month 5 and 6...

 PeeVee :D sure..

RED HANDED:  Now the Rapid fire part. Just YES/NO

  all right?

 PeeVee Be nice, please? :P

 RED HANDED:  Let me think of the questions first :P

 PeeVee Lol, okay..

  

RED HANDED:  Ever regretted being in love?

 PeeVee Yes.

  Can I explain?

 RED HANDED:  No :P

PeeVee COME ON!! :P

 RED HANDED:  We women always want to give explanations!!!

 PeeVee But people will thetidherichifyna..

  :D

 RED HANDED:  Ever been told by someone how horrible a person you are?  

 PeeVee YES. Recently.

RED HANDED:  Wanted to kill somebody?

 PeeVee Yes.

  Oh my, I'm suchavillian.

 RED HANDED:  stolen anything..excludes HEARTS

 PeeVee No.

RED HANDED:  Hurt somebody just because it felt good?

 PeeVee Yes. I aim to hurt when I am hurt.

RED HANDED:  I like you!! I wish I was a man

 PeeVee :D

  Thank you..

RED HANDED:  Been jealous of someone in the virtual world?

 PeeVee TONS of people, you wouldn't believe!!
Erm... I meant yes.

RED HANDED:  TCHTCHWOMEN :D

 PeeVee :P I tell you..

 RED HANDED:  All right, the interview ends due to lack of questions. But I guess this was the longest interview ever. 5 DAYS LONG :D..The interviewer and interviewee are very busy people :P

PeeVee LOL, I'm so very sorry about that... I'm not very busy but somehow we kept missing each other online...

  And this was fun :P Thanks..

RED HANDED:  I am a very bad interviewer, I am sorry

  Oh btw you got anything to say to the readers?

PeeVee Shaadaap...you're not.

RED HANDED:  ?

PeeVee To the readers?
Just merci, merci for having given me so much confidence in what I write, in who I am. Specifically to wonderful people I made friends with Maithili, Spiff, Laddu, Poopy, Chandana, Phatichar, Meoww, Dragon, Red, AS, Sushmit, Akila... so many of you...

OH OH... Chintan, Suruchi, CS, Supernickk too.. And so sorry if I have forgotten someone :(

RED HANDED:  hehe CUTE you are...

Special Thanks to Red Handed for doing this interview.. We would have missed the December interview if you hadn't done this one.. 

Thanks a ton babe :)