This one is for you Stixsu;
I hope the dedication makes you smile, even if the post doesn't.
I decided a long time ago that I won't write a blog post that is about any incidents that happen in my life unless they are funny, simply for the reason that they happen to every one else too and me harping about it will not make it any more interesting to readers. But this, I had to.
I was in bed happily experimenting with the new music app I got, when she got onto my (upper bunk) bed and flopped down next to me, facedown. She used to do that when she was upset (I'm her personal hotchocolate+rockyroad+guybashing specialist) but for the past few months she has been coming 'upstairs' just to visit.
(This is hostel culture for the uninitiated. Our bunks are our personal spaces, much like our homes which others can 'visit')
So I assumed that she was visiting and banged my head on in time to Pink's screaming until I heard sniffling. My heart almost stopped on hearing that bunny-like sound for she is very dear to me and I hate seeing her cry or get hurt, especially since she's a gentle soul.
I hugged her close and said all the right things just to make her stop after which the story slowly came out. She confided one of her deepest, darkest secrets, a demon that is still plaguing her, with one of her closest guy friends (my classmate, as well) who, typically, behaved like a jerk about it and was insensitive.
She put herself out there because she trusted him and made herself vulnerable. And got hurt in a way that is not going to go away soon. For every time she thinks of her friend, it will be this hurt that surfaces rather than all the happy memories they have had together.
That is one friendship shot to hell and flushed down the drain.
My point here is that, don't make yourself vulnerable to anybody except those two people in your life who are 'Your People'. It could be your bff and your sibling, it could be two of your childhood friends, it could be your mother and your father, it could be your mother and that guy you have decided to spend the rest of your life with... it could be anybody. The only qualification is that they shouldn't judge you for anything and they should know you better than you know yourself.
Because at the end of the day, everyone else cares about only themselves first and they don't care how bad you get hurt. They might feel bad about being the reason, but that's the extent of it. And you all know how badly hurt can hurt na, I don't need to explain how it feels inside when you just want to curl up into a ball and fade away into oblivion just because someone hurt you. We have all been there.
Put yourself out only when you're sure that the other person understands what it takes to do that and how much it takes out of you. Don't confide fears, insecurities, dreams and hopes to people who don't care what happens to you either way. Don't place your trust in people who value it.
Protect yourself, your fragile psyche.
For very few, very, very few are worth getting hurt over.
P.S: I might be biased by my own experiences, the world might be slightly brighter than how I choose to see it but only slightly.