December 28, 2011


Posted by Keirthana at 10:05 PM

Hello all :)

Hope that all of you would have had a very very merry Christmas. Anyways belated wishes for that and advance wishes for the incoming New Year. I am not gonna put up a Goodbye 2011 and Welcome 2012 post because it seems so typical. Nah! I am not in a mood for being typical right now.

So, I am going out of the way and am gonna write about Weddings *Drumroll*

Well, now I know that the male readers who were reading this post scattered off to attend to their more important work. Anyway, let me return to the topic in the hope that I still have my female readers glued. As any other girl, I have had big dreams about my wedding and all that mush. The thing is that I am in love with the western wedding where they have more of flowers, rings, I do’s and most importantly the wedding gown. But I know my wedding is gonna be of relatives discussing gold and status, smoke coming from homam and sarees whose weight will definitely surpass mine and jewelry that is gonna choke me to death. Yup, that is inevitable. If I open my mouth about it, all the elderly pearls will go like, “Oh my god, you people are talking so much. You are all spoilt. In those days, we were not even allowed to see the groom before the wedding. We did what we were told to” and my inner monologue will go like, “Yeah! That’s you and not me.”

And talking of which, I cannot imagine how our grandmothers and mothers managed to accept what they were given on a platter and live it, calling it life. I cannot, even in my wildest imaginations, imagine myself taking a tray with coffee cups and handing one to each of those people who scrutinize me like I am a product. Sheesh! Thinking of it gives me shivers down my spine. And then imagine overhearing the parents bargaining the price and other amenities that the guy’s side is to be bestowed with. I seriously doubt if that should be called a wedding.

Now back to the point, those weddings which have soft music playing when the bride enters with her dad and the groom beaming at his bride walking down the aisle towards him for a happily-ever-after seems so much more cool and organized than the ones where ‘n’ aunties are running from pillar to post, not knowing for what they are running, panting heavily due to the luggage heavy sarees and jewelry they are carrying with themselves. 

I can give you a real life experience for the kinds of confusion that will arise in our weddings. In my bro’s marriage, I was dutifully standing behind the stage, holding a lamp (Don’t even start asking the reason. Nobody knows why the nathanar (sister-in-law) should do that. They just say, “You have to do it”) All the aunties around were involved in some sort of agitated discussion. On overhearing, the discussion was about whether the groom should tie the knot, sitting on a rice bag or on a 3-legged stool or on a 4-legged stool. I was like “What the heck!” Does it really matter? If yes, why?

I am talking about South Indian Tamil weddings as I don’t have any idea about North Indian ones except the fact that they are a lot more tedious. My point is whichever wedding it is, they seem to be smooth from the outside, but they are nothing but chaos for the families involved until the wedding is over without any major mishap. Why can’t we just organize a simple wedding without calling all the relatives of relatives of relatives? Why can’t we just ask the bride and groom’s consent and get done with it? Why does it always have to be the stormy, chaotic drama? Why should the opinion of the bride's aunt's grandmother's daughter's opinion on the bridal saree be more important than the convenience of the bride in wearing it? Why should the jewels to be worn matter more than the comfort of the bride on her big day? Why should the gold piles always matter more than the couple's smiles?

I do not have answers for these questions? Do you?

Until later :)


Indumathy Sukanya on December 29, 2011 at 9:42 AM said...

We arent allowed to question our tradition, honey :)..dont let your mommy read this!
But, much ever tiring and taxing its gonna be on the couple and the families, I LOVE tam brahm weddings! It enforces the strength and the sanctity of the bond thru beautiful little know...oonjal, kaasi yatrai and all that! it's major FUN!

And then, you can happily call it the best and most important day of your life!

Oh, besides, i kinda love western weddings too! Especially the beautiful white dress! I'm considering having that kind of a ceremony secretly when im on my honeymoon! :D:D

sumitra on December 29, 2011 at 10:52 AM said...

I agree with you that the opinions of too many people are taken into consideration in Indian weddings. But that is the flaw of western weddings, no one's opinion is taken into consideration. The entire event is organized by the bride and the groom, they have to make every silly little decision on their own. It is really a stressful activity that could create a monster out of the bride. Whereas we just have to nod and smile and let our elders take care of everything. I prefer that actually, the way the bride is pampered in our culture. Western weddings are nice to look at but they are a multi-million dollar industry too, with huge emphasis given to clothes, shoes, gifts, decorations and everything else. So both have their pros and cons, I guess we need to enjoy what we have! :)

maithili on December 29, 2011 at 11:03 AM said...

Coincidently I attended a Christian marriage yesterday and I couldn't help but agree with all that you have said. The marriage is more fun for them than rituals. Its the happiest day of their life and they do as they wish! The slow dance and then the bride dancing with her father... They have so many games for everyone attending the reception and the best part I liked about them was- the bride and the groom had food first and then stood on stage to meet everyone.. unlike our weddings where the guest eat and the starving couple are made to give fake smiles! I really liked their custom where the couple is at convenience!

Keirthana on December 29, 2011 at 7:04 PM said...

@Indu: Yeah, our type marriages are fine but they can be better and calmer. That's all I am asking for. A little peace on my big day and things getting done my way.. And yeah, the wedding gown.. oooooooh, even I was planning that ceremony to be done after all the huff and puff is over.

@Sumi: I totally agree with you. Getting pampered feels good and I accept the western weddings have their lows. What I want is a balancing line in between.. something that is affordable for us.. something that involves family but the right amount of involvement. And have you seen Bride Wars? Even if the marriage is a hectic activity, love prevails. So I know I am gonna get a very traditional marriage and I cannot open my mouth about it. So sort of vented out here.

@Mathili:Yeah, the simplicity of the ceremony, we can adopt into our system. I love the wedding gown, walking down the aisle and then the dance parts the most :)

L.Guruprasad on January 12, 2012 at 4:34 PM said...

"I pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride"

Thach Nguyen on March 16, 2015 at 9:11 AM said...

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thuốc tăng cường trí nhớ
triple omega 3-6-9
thuoc multivitamin
thuoc giam can tot nhat
mỹ phẩm sakura nhật bản
Bạn đang thắc mắc hay phân vân lựa chọn cho mình loại kem chống nắng cho những ngày hè sắp tới ? Hãy đọc bài viết của chúng tôi để có sự lựa chọn tốt nhất cho mình
kem chống nắng nào tốt nhất

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