December 14, 2011

"Always have, always will"

Posted by Chandana M at 12:24 PM

He is married. Married. She told herself once more hoping that it would stop her from doing what she was about to do. It din't feel wrong, in fact nothing had felt more right to her. She knew he felt the same way, which was why they had decided to meet today. She waited in her car, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel while glancing at her watch for the nth time. Late as always. She smiled to herself inspite of her annoyance at him. Her phone beeped. "Be right there love. Can't wait to see those beautiful eyes once again". Her face broke into a spontaneous smile like it always did when she thought of him. She settled back into her seat and let her mind wander to those magical moments…

12 years back..
Her eyes. Big, round, black, beautiful and absolutely mesmerizing. That was the first thing that drew him to her, that made him drown in those black beauties. It was love at first sight. The moment he looked into her eyes on that fateful day he was irrevocably in love. "You are my life", her eyes seemed to tell him and he was more than willing to be anything for her. There were meant to be together, and it was almost like they both had been waiting for each other. All those shy glances from her side, and bright smiles from him had resulted in something extraordinary. 

They were the hottest pair in school and throughout college. The ideal pair, the pair that was meant to be. You couldn't think of one of them without the other popping into your head. They were together for five perfect years when all of it suddenly ended. Nobody knew the reason why. They went their separate ways, chose their respective paths, built their lives around it. Even after all these years, their common friends sometimes spoke about them - as a couple. Of how it would have been had they not broken up. The mused over the whole situation, guessing as to what could have happened. They couldn't imagine something going wrong, they were such a perfect fit.

She sighed. 12 years and he still made her blush like a school girl. 12 years and the thought of him still sent shivers down her spine. 12 years and she had never gotten over him. 
He was the practical one, the one with a clear head, the one who was capable of making tough decisions and sticking to them. He had all those qualities which she prided herself in having but somehow when it came to him, she became a hopelessly romantic fool. Her tough exterior, her cold rational approach towards life, her quick decision making - it was all for others. With him, walls came down and she was back to being the young innocent girl that she was 12 years back. She had cursed him, cried to him, begged him, ignored him, worshipped him - but he had remained the same, loving as ever. Of course he'd been a jerk, no doubt about it, but he had made up for it. More than made up for it.

She snapped out of her day dream when she saw the familiar car turning into the lonely road. Her body tensed and her eyes smiled as he parked the car right in front of hers, almost touching it. She took a deep breath, steadied herself and got out of the car a few seconds after he did. Her heart thudded and spluttered as she took a step forward. The moment their eyes locked it was as if nothing bad had ever happened between them. All that pain, the guilt, the heart-ache, all those months she had spent crying, all those nights he had held his head in despair not knowing how to make things right - none of it mattered. They were in a bubble, in a world of their own. 

"Shall we take a walk?" he said, with that heart melting smile of his. 
She nodded silently and walked with him.

He loved that about her. They way she hardly spoke around him, but her eyes said it all. He looked at her delicate frame, her long straight hair, her graceful walk and the way she was clutching her phone tightly it her hand. She was tensed and nervous and shy. It gave her away. He took her hand into his and they kept on walking. His mind flashed back to that time 7 years back when he had held the very same hand and place a ring on her finger. She had refused to accept such an expensive gift but he had shoved the box into her hand. She had looked at the ring, smiled and asked him to place it on her finger. 

He noticed now, that she had a ring on almost every other finger except that one. His eyes kept going back to her face, to her eyes. Oh what he wouldn't do to see those eyes happy, to see them dance with joy! He had done everything he could to make sure she had a perfect life. He had made the ultimate sacrifice for her seven years back - he broke up with her, a sacrifice that almost shattered her delicate heart, a sacrifice that made him seem like the villain, the bad guy, the betrayer, the heartless one. It had cost him a lot but still, it was a small price to pay. Specially when it was to make her happy.

They had reached the park, their favorite spot. "I have an early flight tomorrow, at 5:30", he said. Her eyes saddened "You're leaving? Already?" she asked him. 
"Told you, seven out of twelve months I am on the road". 
"I have no idea why your wife puts up with you"
He laughed. "I am pretty sure she is having an affair" he said. 
"Convenient. For you. For both of you actually" she said
"You wouldn't understand. Its not that simple. I still love her" 
"Yeah I get it" she said softly "It took me twelve years but I finally get it. It wouldn't have worked out if we had gotten married"
"You know what i believe right.. Just because two people love each other doesn't mean they have to get married"
"I know. I believe that NOW. Specially us. Lord! That would have been a disaster" she laughed.

He smiled and kissed her forehead lightly "I have to get going"
They walked back to the car. "Be in touch?" she asked
"Always have, always will" he smiled.

She got into her car and sent him a text message "Just had an epiphany. Just because some one doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have"
He looked through his window and gave her his bright mischievous smile and mouthed 'I love you'. She laughed, shook her head and waved to him.
She drove back to her boyfriend, he drove back to his wife.

p.s - Inspired from  true incident.
p.p.s - I SWORE to myself that I wouldn't write ANY love stories (I have many reasons and its a long story.. don't ask!). But I couldn't ignore something that was happening right in front of my eyes.


Dr Roshan R on December 14, 2011 at 1:25 PM said...

this was super cool... I love the concept, even if it has a tinge of immorality to it... its life as it e,oats today... a sacrifice to save a relationship..

Aathira Nair on December 14, 2011 at 2:32 PM said...

Very Nice! Something to think about... something to keep your sanity and feelings intact.

p00ja on December 14, 2011 at 5:10 PM said...

Something was missing, why did he have to sacrifice? I'm not saying that coz they are not married what they are doing is not right, but hello, if you loved her, then why?

Because he or his family thought he/she could get a better partner.

No please dont tell me this is what love is, cause its not. These are strong feelings of infatuations lust or whatever, but not love.

If it was love he would not have let her go, and after he did, he would not have come back. I'm blaming him, cause he's the one who walked away, he's the one who "Married" to someone else now.

p00ja on December 14, 2011 at 5:14 PM said...

I know a couple, who were like yours only, a bit different a bit same, I called them Wanni and Brian.

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue on December 14, 2011 at 5:42 PM said...

Thank you! Its only inspired from reality but mostly fiction :)

Thank you! Glad you liked it! :)

I read the story and yes its pretty similar. So that story is about love and this is just infatuation huh?
*Hmmm* well everybody has their own perception about love. Even a guy who murders a girl because he was rejected by her tries to justify his actions saying he was 'in love' which is of course bull.
So in answer to your question 'if he loved her then why did he leave her and come back again?', am definitely not going to say this is what is love. For THEM maybe it is, but for you clearly its not.
They just did what was right for them and it worked fine for them. And if i need to elaborate more this space is not enough! Its a 12year long story and its not my story to tell! :)
Just for the record I blame him too! ;)

Mystical Skeptical Me on December 14, 2011 at 5:47 PM said...

Hey Chandana, the words ring with a truth unbeknownst to everyone, but you! :D :D I love it...the love....the unspoken conversations...beautifully written...the feelings when you were writing...I can feel it all! :D :D Mwaah!

Anees on December 14, 2011 at 6:17 PM said...

Well written... !! filled with many thoughts... feelings and love.. And ya , u r right.. For different people its diff reasons n outlook... Jst see the above comments itself.. U can see diff opinion... thats the funny way of life :)

Sunitha on December 14, 2011 at 6:45 PM said...

hmm.. A different love story. Nice write..

Keirthana on December 14, 2011 at 7:15 PM said...

Very nice write up... Moving,different..
//Just because some one doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have//
I so agree with this.. Wish people will realize it...

meoww on December 14, 2011 at 8:40 PM said...

nice..really nice.. is complicated..
way beyond comprehension at times..
hmmmmm..but that how life is..
i guess we have to live with it..
loved the story dear..

cheers !!

The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-p on December 14, 2011 at 9:21 PM said...

I loved that epiphany bit...A LOT...beautiful post Chan :D

Confused Soul on December 14, 2011 at 9:29 PM said...

I really loved this post.. I mean yes, there's an aspect of immorality, but again I love the LOVE here :) . Great post.. :)

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue on December 14, 2011 at 10:09 PM said...

Thank you! :)

True! Different experiences result in different perceptions :)

Thank you!

Thank you! I know, its different form the usual kind of love stories.

Thank you!
These days am wondering if 'love' is actually simple and we are the ones who are complicating it..

Thank you! Yeah i loved that bit too :))

That was what I wanted to project. Am glad people are appreciating the LOVE part :))

Siju C Antony on December 15, 2011 at 6:48 PM said...

Loved the post, was kind of surprised to know its a true story. Good to see, you haven't made any whining regarding such relationships. I have been in the middle of so called confusing love stories. And i happen to write a blog post, but wasn't focusing on the romantic side. Its been almost more than a year back. Though i had such a relief writing it then, i regret for that these days. May be i should have made it more fictional and interesting as you have done here :)

Freelancer on December 16, 2011 at 9:23 AM said...

*bows down to ye*

I admit, love is one frigging unpredictable emotion

..the floodgate of feelings..:] on December 16, 2011 at 4:07 PM said...

woww...:)...but somehow i find such love stories so obselete...i wish there were more of them <3
loved the way you write flawlessly, looking forward to seeing more of your posts:)
just followed you:) hope you follow back <3

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue on December 16, 2011 at 7:47 PM said...

Read your post. It must have been different for you.. Must have been tough to be in the middle of all that. What I wrote about was not really an affair. Anyway.. there's a brighter side to everything :)

True that!

@the floodgate of feelings-
Thank you so much! :)

p00ja on December 17, 2011 at 10:33 AM said...

@TheGirlAtFirstAvenue I dint mean to say that yours was not a love story and mine was, its nothing like that. I'm sorry if it came across like that.
What I meant was, this can not be love, in both the cases, its about how life deals you a hand and different people react differently.

Personally for me, theres no such thing as selfless-never-ending love.

sumitra on December 17, 2011 at 4:09 PM said...

Chandana, this is one complicated story. No doubt, you've articulated it very well. It's the characters that perplex me. Of course, everyone has their own way of dealing with/showing love. It's hard to understand sometimes.

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue on December 17, 2011 at 10:18 PM said...

okay! Point taken :)

Yeah true,even I'd say complicated characters rather than a complicated story.

Mirage on December 17, 2011 at 10:31 PM said...

It was subtle and sweet. And what the girl says in the end is absolutely right.

Beautiful narration! And as it's based on a true incident I would want to know the reason behind the complications.

Pria Rao on December 19, 2011 at 10:14 AM said...

Shocked at the end. Would love to hear the story happened in between those years..

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue on December 19, 2011 at 5:52 PM said...

Thank you! :)

I cant promise anything, but i'll try writing another piece.

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