A Father-Daughter Story

She looks at her father who is busy typing away on his laptop for three hours now as she plays with her Barbie Doll. She glances at him once again and thinks just how can she go and talk to him. Not that her father would not listen to her, but most of the things she tells him are 'nonsense', 'gibberish' and 'unintelligible'. She knows that her father is angry but does not understand what has she done to make him so. She wants to tell him that her questions are BIG for her, that she stays up all night thinking about the answers as she curls up feeling cold. But this would only make her father angrier.

She thinks about last week when she had asked him -
"Daddy, why does Mummy come to see me only on weekends? Doesn't she miss me? Doesn't she love me?" 
She recalls frightfully her father's face contorting with some hidden rage -
"Thank your stars that she even visits you. If not for the Court orders, I would not have allowed her anywhere near you. Now get lost and stop bothering me. I am working." 

She cried that night thinking about her mother - about the times when they were together - when they would go out for picnics, visit her school for PTMs, but then things changed. She used to hear her parents shout at each other, yell and break things. She used to cower under her blanket fearing to leave her room. 

Today she was planning to ask her father what would he like for his birthday which would be tomorrow. She was worried she had not done enough to make him happy and so, she wanted to gift him something from the money she had saved in her Piggy-Bank. But seeing her father immersed in work deflated her courage. She quietly waited for her Nanny to come and went with her to buy a greeting card for him. She loved him no matter how he treated her. She knew he loved her too, but knew he feels lonely and she angers him. 

That night after dinner, she went to her room and decided to write a note inside the card. The note said - 

"Dearest Daddy,

Happy Birthday! You are the best Daddy in the world. God made me very lucky to send you in my life. I know you are angry because Mummy left us. I also know that you both fought because of me Daddy and I am really sorry. Daddy, I love you and I feel sad that you are unhappy because you have to look after me. So Daddy, on this birthday, I hope all your wishes come true. I promise not to bother you anymore and I am ready to go to Boarding school. Daddy, I cannot see you sad and I am sorry for hurting you. May your wishes come true. With lots of love - Happy Birthday.
Your Daughter"

She re-reads her letter and decides to wish her father at 12 midnight. She quietly comes out of her room, with the card hiding behind her back. Her father is still working on his laptop. 

"Papa?" she cooes. Her father does not respond. She tries again, a little more loudly, "Papa, I have to give you something." Her father 'tch'-es at her. She moves towards her father, placing her tiny hand on his arm, "Papa, please listen to me."

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME YOU SILLY GIRL! GO TO YOUR ROOM, NOW!" 

He shouts at her as she yelps and starts crying - card slipping away from her hand. She looks at her father scared and runs to her room to avoid a slap from him. After an hour of sobbing breathlessly, she sleeps - her eyes puffed and her body curled. 

In the other room, her father listens to her sobs but he has an important document to finish. He does not want his Boss to insult him again. He finishes his work at around 3 in the morning. His chair screeches as he gets up.  He turns towards his room, when he steps on a paper. He looks down to see, it is a Greeting Card with curly handwriting crawling on it. He picks it up to find that it is from his daughter. 

He starts reading the note inside it - At first he feels a jab of anger but then with every line that he reads, he realizes how much love deprived his 7 year old daughter is. By the time he reaches the last line, tears are rolling down from his eyes as he sits on the floor for support. He recalls the moment when he fought with his wife for her custody, screaming before the Court to prove that he'd be the best guardian for his daughter - that he loves her and would never let her feel the need for any other parent. That her mother was incapable because she was not a good mother - that she was busy with her work always. He recalls the time when he kept a Nanny for her, no longer having time to look after her. He recalls the time when he has screamed at her, raised his hands just to shoo her away. 

Guilt cuts his heart as he realizes what a monster he has been towards his only child. What a worse man he has been! His heart starts beating faster as he gets up to go towards his daughter's room - afraid to face her, even though he knows she'd be asleep. He opens the door slowly, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest. He feels a new pang of pain and guilt when he looks at his daughter. Her face is streaked with dried up tears and her eyes are puffed up. She is curled in on herself - shivering ever so slightly. He cannot stop himself from sobbing. He feels like even death punishment would not be enough for him - placing his daughter in such a mess. He sits on the edge of her bed and picks her up. She flinches as he hugs her to his chest, suddenly crying. 

"I am sorry. I am so sorry my baby! Oh God! Please forgive me." He cries as he wipes her face. She wakes up in his arms - "Daddy? What happened Daddy? Why are you crying? It is your Birthday! You should be happy." She hugs him and wipes his tears. 

"I am Happy my dear, I am happy now." he says, as he promises to himself that he'd never let her cry again. From that day, she started believing that her Daddy was the world's best Daddy.

Love sometimes comes in such forms, we do not recognize. Sometimes it is so oppressive, so claustrophobic, that one forgets what did they love in the first place. Expression of feelings does not have to be elaborate always - a mere hug, a pat on the back and a smile of appreciation is all it takes. Let's love while we can - no matter whether no one loves us or not. 

PS: I wrote this story on Daughters' Day, on my Blog...and thought I can post it here...on DOV. It's been a long time I have written something like this.