Rant Post

First, I is sorry. I is landing here after eons. Why? for the past 10 months I have had a lot of good and bad changes in my life
1. I got married and will celebrate my first anniversary next month
2. I shifted cities & it took me a while to settle down
3. I got a new job & again it took me time to adjust
4. I am trying hard to learn & understand the local language & fail
5. I have put on oodles of weight, none of my pretty dresses & blouses fit anymore. I tried to work out & failed
6. I started to cook, clean & do quite a few wife-like duties everyday

So, guess I have justified my prolonged absence.

I am in Bengaluru, all my friends are away, the friends I have made here are mostly wives or new-mommies so they have recipes & baby talks to share & seriously I need someone to party with.
My husband doesn't dance so, this city has some amazing pubs & lounges and I dance alone & feel stupid after a while.
I took up hobbies quilled a few pretty earrings, crocheted a pretty tie up beach sandals, I started to learn zumba and then the instructor ran off and I am out of ideas.

I mean seriously, do all married girls only talk about what they cooked, what they did with their husbands, when are they planning babies?
What happened to those, OMG such a cute boy talks?
What happened to did you see the final GoT episode?
What happened to lets go party this Wednesday ladies night?

Everyone might have a different perspective, but its my opinion, to not get the husband involved in everything.
yes, you love him, but dude, get some time out for yourself. Go for a ladies spa evening, a high tea, gossip, laugh over silly things

That is the only hing I miss of my bygone single life & a flat tummy also I do miss
This sounds like a rant post right?

Adios, pretty ladies

Deception.

You came like a flowing breeze,
soothed my burning soul,
balmed my open wounds,
and now that I want you to stay,
you say you just came by the way.

I look up in your eyes,
It tells me a million stories.
stories of defeat, stories of shame,
stories of many shattered walls of fame.
you blink, trying to deceive me,
but the door once opened can be entered anyday.

I look deeper in your eyes,
beyond those surfacing stories.
I see a sun blinding my gaze,
The gleaming sun shows me illusions,
I see mirage in the middle of a haze.

I forget the reality,
and start living in the illusions.
my world turns into a vast desert,
and I look upon you
my oasis, for solace.

But after walking miles after miles,
chasing you, like chasing my own tail.
A lightening strikes, and I realize,
my house has been ravaged,
my soul has been stolen,
my trust has been broken,
the drawers of happiness have been emptied,
and my love has been raped.

I want you to tell me,
All's not lost, everything's gonna be alright.
So I look around for you,
But you seem nowhere.
Far away, I can see your shadow,
disappearing at the end of the road.

I run behind you, trying to stop you,
hold your arms tight.
But every single time,
I fall on my face,
feeling like a ridiculous dime.

I hear somebody laughing on me,
It was a joke I didnt want to understand.
Fallacy was served to me on a platter,
And I tasted deceit, while sipping some wine.

The Affair

               "It's time" you whispered lightly into my ears.
                Spooning up against you, the feel of your lips on my earlobes, I felt my body shiver, goosebumps on my arms. You ran  your hand over my arms, soothing the excitement that I felt. I was waiting for more when you slipped out of the bed, scattering my desires into dust. Oh how I wanted you!

               I lay on bed, hoping that you would come back and start over again. But you didn't. I heard the shower running. A part of me wanted to join you and forget all about what lay ahead. But another part, the one that still had some respect, adamantly stayed still, wanting to be loved. You walked out, a towel wrapped around your waist, hair wet and water droplets on your body. I wanted to touch you, bury my head in your arms and take in the fragrance of your body. To feel alive, to reminisce how it felt the first time I hugged you. To be consumed in the fire of the passion I felt for you. You went about getting dressed, hardly noticing the emotions that were threatening to tear me apart.

              Reluctantly, I began to dress up for the day. No, I did not feel like taking a shower. You raised your eyebrow to show disdain for my choice. But it didn't matter. I was getting used to your disapproval. I did not want to go back where I had just imagine you naked. I did not want to go down that memory again, the one that spiraled me back every time I took a step forward. Of the numerous rendezvous that we had in that enclosed space, of the water running down our bodies as they became one.

              I picked up my bag, stuffing in the things that were lying around your place. I wondered if it occurred to you that you would never see them again. Then I thought, how does it matter!

             "What time is your flight?" you asked me. How could you not know? I wanted to shout!
             "10.30" I replied, gulping in the lump I felt in my throat.

             You sat back in the cab with me, not realizing how my body ached every time the cab took a turn and you bumped into me or your hand brushed against my thighs.

             "Good bye. Have a safe trip"  you told me at the departure gate.
              I had tears in my eyes but you looked away.

               I walked in the gate, not wanting to look back. But I did look back. Through the glass doors, I saw you zoom away. Not wasting a second after I left, you had hurriedly got into the cab and gone. Away from my life. Leaving me with a broken heart.

             I took off from the city that had showed me independence, from the city that had brought you and me together. Into another one, where I was destined to marry a stranger.

             I would never again experience a passion that made me go weak. That would make me blind to all reason. The way you awakened my demons and made me love them! The way you kept making me asking for more of you. The way you never truly gave in to me. The way you stirred my body. Then left it unwanted.

             But I am glad I looked back, that day at the airport. I saw a loser running away. It made it easier to move on knowing that you weren't waiting.

             Marrying a stranger was not what I had imagined.  Yet, on rainy nights when I cuddle next to him, he pulls me closer and makes me feel warm. He doesn't give me goosebumps, he gives me love. He doesn't make me ask for more, he keeps me happy and satisfied. Most importantly, when I cry he doesn't look away, he wipes my tears and makes me smile. You had my body, he has my soul. For that I am thankful to you. If it hadn't been for you, I would have never known what true love is! My affair with life begins now.

Happy Independence Day

           
                                   
                                    source
          Like most corporate offices, we had Independence Day celebrations at my workplace. E-mails were sent the previous day informing the staff to turn up in colors of saffron, white or green (preferably traditional Indian wear). The otherwise dull looking cubicles suddenly had tricolor balloons stuck randomly. Everyone tried their best to pick up clothes that atleast fit somewhere in the color category of saffron, white or green. Selfies and team pictures were taken and quickly updated on social networking sites (yes I too posted a couple of them). And that was that. End of celebrations. That's what it has come to!

              Back in school, Independence days were different. My school invited only 4th Standard and 10th Standard students for the celebrations on the 15th of August. Nothing biased. It was just that the class strength was too much to accommodate and manage every standard. Plus, the possible rains added to the chaos. The student to teacher ratio was overwhelming. But that didn't mean the other students were excluded from the celebrations. The 14th of August was all about patriotic speeches, stories of brave freedom fighters and singing all the songs to our hearts content. We would literally sing all through the school day on 14th August. The list of songs was never ending and we knew them all by heart. I still remember the times when "Ae mere watan ke logo" was played on speakers and I had goosebumps each time. When I reached my standard 10th, I was chosen to deliver a speech on that day. I remember writing the speech and editing it until I was finally satisfied with the content. I kept practicing the speech. On the day of the speech, my words just kept flowing, hardly repeating the things that were written. I spoke what I truly thought and covered up the gist of whatever I had written. I can never forget that day, because that was when I was applauded by the entire audience. My teachers patted me and told me that they were proud of me.

            Every year, our school followed the tradition of calling the topper of 10th board exams to hoist the flag. How many of us get that chance? To hoist a flag and proudly salute as it unfurls? I returned back to school the next year to hoist the flag. In that moment, I realized the true honor of the national flag. Words can't describe the feelings of seeing your flag in full glory. I am sure every one of us has felt that innate sense of patriotism every time we attend flag hoisting. It all feels like another time. Of course we didn't have to fake it to show off on social sites. It was all natural.

            Today, as I sat working on my laptop, another team was participating in some contest. They stood in a circle and sang "Mere desh ki dharti" while one of them was recording. The other teams looked at them, embarrassed. How dare they act like kids in a corporate environment? Don't they know better than not to display such childish behavior? None of us dared to join. I am sure no one even uttered one patriotic word other than forwarding Independence day messages. That is what it has reduced to. We stop expressing joy and learn to dissociate. What will happen if we feel patriotic? Nothing is going to change in this country. The politics has ruined every thing. In fact, our Independence itself is a big politics. The complaints are unending. Ask someone who is patroling the borders for you! There are hardly incentives, there are no coffee breaks and no day without a deadline. If each one us thought like that, we would be under another rule by now.

            But we have all joined the corporate world and we have to be uptight about it. Says who? The problem starts here. We stop expressing the greatness and gratitude for the country. We only see the negatives. We create another generation of people who do not respect the country. Who do not know the glory of the national flag. Who do not know what it took to attain where we are today. The very people who click pictures with national flag and post on instagram, facebook and where not, do not even bother to pick one up the next day. Every one knows the story of flags on 16th of August. I do not need to repeat it.

           None of us became leaders or politicians. But we could all become good civilians. Teach a child to respect the flag and he will know the sacrifices of lives it takes to put one up in a war zone. Do not forget the stories, for he may not become a freedom fighter but he will know what it takes to lead. Sing the songs aloud, for they were all created in memory of something great. Do not let the story die even if it is 69 years old.

           Here's wishing you all a very happy Independence Day. Treasure it because someone lost everything for you to have it. Do not buy a flag if you do not know what to do with it the next day!

-Maithili

P.S: This is  a very hurried post and written in absolute abandon of the relativity. Forgive the same because I could hardly control myself from putting it all at once :)

I am back

Hello darlings,

It feels like ages since I last posted here. Probably like another lifetime altogether. I just happened to read a Facebook message on darlings of Venus page and that lead me to open the mail box that I had ditched as it hardly had anything of importance. But, a lot has changed since then.

For starters, I am extremely sorry that I haven't read the mails asking for membership and guest posts. I was transitioning into a phase of life that I had no clue about and everything else just went into backseat. More on that later.

While I was still actively handling DOV, I had been requesting members to post and introduce new members. Response was poor, most of us had our own stuff to deal with. Darlings of Venus barely managed to pull through with a post or two. Imagine my surprise today, when I saw so many requests for joining. I shall personally write to all of you, if you are still reading and want to join us, I am excited to get you all on board.

As for the requests for review, I guess I am already too late.

I have decided to take active ownership of DOV back again. It all starts with a small push and I cannot do it without you all. I need that push to keep this blog running and not just crawling with bare minimum posts.

I shall make sure the blog has something new to offer every week from my side. I would love it if I get a minimum of one post from all of you.

Hoping I get a better response this time around..

Maithili

Daffodils.

I am a woman of 21st century. I am independent. I am strong. I can endure all storm. I can handle both my private life and professional life with ease, and well, how perfectly! I have everything I wanted, everything I needed, everything I dreamt of...or maybe not. There are times I feel incomplete. All this achievement, feels like a waste. All this success looks like the biggest failure. All this feels like a big vacuum, and this vacuum sucks me in every time I look around, and I find a big void all around me.

After all this achievement, after all this success... I don't have friends to cheer about it. I don't have anybody to talk to during cold depressed nights. I don't have anybody whom I can tell anything, and everything I wanted... More importantly, someone who will understand everything before I can say a word to him. I understand people around me...but nobody understands me. I hug people when they cry and sob, but no one comes to hug me when I feel weak and sick. I stay up all night when my friend falls sick, but nobody hands me an aspirin when I get my regular sinus attacks. I cry along with my friend when she goes through a breakup, but nobody even asks me how I am when I feel lonely. One call, and I am there at their doorsteps, but why can't they see my tears, and feel my pain?

I believe everyone is good at heart. They all are good. But in the end, why do they all turn out to be manipulators. I can see through their eyes and heart...hear through their sobs, and feel their pain like it was mine. But the least I expect is a simple 'how are you' or a simple hug from them when I tell them I don't feel good. Is that too much expectation? Am I expecting too much?

Life is a long journey. I have some true friends too, who like me, be there for me no matter what! and many such fake friends... I have many such friends, no matter how much I do for them, they can never see the tear in my eyes, the smile missing from my face, my lost appetite, my sleepless nights. Am I doing less for them? Should I do more? Somehow more always seems less to them. I have stopped bothering now. Still, somehow it bothers me to see them in pain. I wonder sometimes, is it that they just can't see my pain, or is it that choose not to see it? I will never know. But thats okay. I can't expect everybody to be like me. On a lighter note, life would be so boring if everybody took care of everybody all the time like me. And on a practical note, its good I'm surrounded by such fake people all around me, it keeps me well grounded, and keeps me from being dependent on anybody for my needs.

But there are times, I want to be pampered. There are times I want to be the drama queen. There are times I want to feel important. There are times I want  someone to wipe away my tears. There are times I want someone to give me tight hug without me telling them to. There are times I want somebody to notice my mood swings, and ask me what's wrong. There are times I want somebody to be by my side. Just be there. To hold me when I fall. To hug me when I feel lonely. Just to say it'll all be fine. To listen to my boring philosophies. Talk to me during the night. Hold my hand when I walk alone. Hold my umbrella, and kiss me in the rain. Lend me his shoulder when I fall asleep in the train. To stay awake all night, just to make sure I'm fine. To fight with me on silly issues. To make up for the fight with a big chocolate bar. To hold my hand, and not let go. To hold me tighter when I say let me go. To stick by my side when I say leave me alone. To love me , even when I say I don't love you anymore...because deep down he knows we are meant to be together. Deep down, he knows I can't love somebody enough. Deep down, he knows, life without him will never be the same.

But life goes on... And life keeps me occupied. And like Wordsworth says...

         For oft, when on my couch I lie
        In vacant or in pensive mood,
        They flash upon that inward eye
        Which is the bliss of solitude;
        And then my heart with pleasure fills,
        And dances with the daffodils.

I have this recurring dream.....

I have this recurring dream

A beautiful one with a gleam….. 

Where I swim with the clouds

And fly over the seas

I feel like an angel

With the wings of a geese!

The feeling is so surreal

As the eyes look through

The windshields of heavens

With a panoramic view

And, in that moment,

the blinding light shines

Like  a raging torrent,

it glazes the mirror rinds!

A deafening thud is felt

As self opens the eyes,

The dreams are now a blur

As dawn has cracked the sight!

A moment of sadness

And, then a moment of glee

What if days are dreamless

Nights are full, you see!

And then, when the clouds roar

And, the Sun slips away

The wait presumes again

With the self greedily wishing

for the lovely dream to stay

And then, it starts all over again,

I have this recurring dream

A beautiful one with a gleam…..

Rainbow in the sky

My first trial at Tanka.

Inspired by the magnificent rainbow that I saw from my balcony today. Back to blogger after a long break.

Rainbow in the sky
Shining through the clouds so dark,
Took my breath away.
Thankful for nature's surprise,
I smiled, it had made my day.

Life Lessons from Tanu Weds Manu Returns

Pic Courtesy: Google Images / zingtv.in

Last evening I saw this movie 'Tanu Weds Manu Returns". Kangana Ranaut is outstanding, Outstanding is a very small word to describe her performance. A new hero is born, The hero is Kangana

This is not a movie review post, its something that the movie gave lessons about, just a few dialogues say a lot

1. "Weekdays pe 4 kabootar, 4 racoon k alava kuch nahi hota"
Seriously, that's true, You live in a foreign country, your husband goes away to work. You don't have family there. There is this timezone difference, when you are awake, your family and friends here are asleep. You can't get a job easily. You don't have a maid, a iron guy, a milkman, a car wash guy so you do everything on your own. Your have been there long and have gone to most of the nearby places.
Nothing else to do except for everyday monotony. Its bound to make an person irritable and nagging
People may show a rosy picture of the country on Facebook, but reality might be different

2. 'chaar saal mei 1st year acha tha, fir ye aadmi apna asli rang dikhane laga"
First year of marriage is always the best, happy, fun, roaming, lots of sex, regularly eating out, weekly movies. But, later, say after 2-3-4 years there are kids, a new house, its EMI's, parents to take care of, a career to take care of
I don't say that the fun part goes out of the window, but it does reduce.
Expecting the same things that you had during the honeymoon phase or courtship phase is dumb

This movie also shows many other things,

1. Love is the base of any relationship.
Every relationships have fights. The trick is to come to a conclusion in those fights. Prolonging those fights doesn't take you anywhere. Fight. Talk, Shout. End and never speak about it again

2. Marriage counselors are not bad news
Getting married is no big deal, staying married requires effort.
If the couple, can't sort issues by themselves, its not wrong to consult a marriage counselor.
Its just like, you fall sick, you self medicate, you don't get alright and you visit a doctor

3. Never change yourself after marriage
Your partner married you knowing exactly what you are. They love you for what you are and not what you have turned into.
Tanu becomes this lone girl after marriage whereas she is this bubbly, chirpy girl before her marriage and she become one as soon as she comes back.

4. Communicate
Many relationships fall apart because of misunderstandings.
Talk to your partner,
"I am angry I wont talk"
 "let him / her come and talk"
 'Why should I go first, is his fault"
No, relationships don't work that way.
Ego and love cannot go well together, burst that ego bubble, talk it out and sort it out else some third person will come in and create a mess of your relation
Eg: This Chintu guy, sends a divorce notice without Tanu's consent and Tanu didn't call and clarify to Manu on it

5. As far as possible, sort issues between yourself before involving a third party or another family member
After Manu is pushed in the mental hospital, Tanu could have gone there are bailed him out instead of calling his friend to London
Manu might have been angry for a while, but later he would realize that Tanu got him out of that hospital because she loves him

6. Keep your friends close 
At the time of crisis, Tanu's ex-boyfriend now-friend Raja was her biggest support. Your friends will have your back even after you being a real ass with them

7. Test tube baby is not a sin
in today's world, with all the stress involved, the health might take a toll and there might be various reasons to not conceiving naturally.
Its not wrong to take medical help to have a baby.

8. Rebound is bad news
Just because you had a massive showdown with your spouse doesn't mean you rush into another relationship as a revenge. Its not just wrong to your spouse, its wrong for the person whom you have a relationship too.

9. Parents want the best for their kids.
Manu's mom shouts ar Tanu for leaving him in a mental hospital
Any mom would, its obvious. Her baby is in trouble.
You break an egg on your brother's head, its obvious your mom is going to give you a long lecture for half a day, till you go and hug her.

10. Not all in-laws are monsters
Manu's mom and dad, support Tanu all the while. They shout at her but still care for their daughter-in-law

11. Love cant be forced
This guy Manu's friend goes all the way to Punjab for the girl he loves, who simply says that she sees him only as a friend. He tries to even kidnap her, but even after all this she did not love him.
Love cant be forced, it just happens

12. Love conquers all
Love hurts
Love brings happiness
Love brings tears
Love in the end makes everything alright

So that's all folks!

Soliloquy.

I don't feel the same anymore. Its like a part of me has been washed away by the tides, and I'm left incomplete...never to feel complete again. Is it normal? I don't know.

I have some serious trust issues. I can't trust anyone. I always end up looking at everyone with suspecting eyes. Is this normal? I don't know. But I know something... I was never like this before. I used to trust people so easily and so completely. But now I don't. I don't want to blame anyone for the way I am now...  Let's just say, my defence mechanism has taken the active front, and it doesn't let anything seep below my skin surface. It keeps everything from affecting me inside there. It keeps my feelings, emotions, heart...safe.

The defence mechanism is working great. I wish it came a little sooner, that way, it wouldn't have been such a big mess inside there.

I know you must be thinking I had a breakup... No, it wasn't a breakup. I don't know how to define it. I haven't been able to find the exact word for what it was. It seems silly at times, and I do laugh at myself...but I don't know why, the tears accompany my laughter. Maybe they too are being protective about my laughter...lest it too may disappear, just like my trust.

It is not such a big thing really. I should not give it so much of importance. Just forget about it. Ignore my own thoughts. After all, I knew what I was getting myself into...or maybe not.

Maybe I had forgotten the rules myself. I started playing the other way around. I should have played the game with my own black pieces. Black suits me. It kept me hidden in the shadows all these times. White is not really my colour. I should have never played the white colour. It made me forget it was a game. A chessboard game. A game filled with politics and manipulation. Where, 'checkmate' means I have the power to destroy you. And sometimes it has an added asterisk, where the terms and conditions apply. But we never read those terms and conditions , do we?

I don't know why I am writing this. I even don't know how long I will sob over this. Its been months now! But I hope to get over this soon. Very soon. Because every time I pick up my pen and sit down to write about something, I end up writing something like this...a sob story. And I hate sob stories. Which indirectly means, I'm hating myself right now. But its a phase... And this too won't last, just like the other things.

Sunglasses

*knock knock* "hey" is all I said
Her back was to the door but she didn't have to turn to see who it was, she knew me just too well to recognize my voice "hey" she said

"Woah, what tha...I mean..you are looking like a girl today"
She quips "I have to, its my wedding dumbo, by the way, how am i looking?"

"Not bad, too much gold, why do you think I am wearing sunglasses"

She hits my arm are walks away carrying that heavily embellished lehenga of hers "Looking dumb with those sunglasses" her voice trials away

Why am I wearing sunglasses, I think to myself?
'Pretty girl, I am wearing sunglasses to hide my feelings"
"I am sorry, I hurt you when you were readily giving me your heart"
"I am sorry, I broke your heart when you said I love you"
"I am sorry to walk away holding someone else's hand when you had tears in your eyes because of me"

I realized I love you, I always have. But, I realized it too late.

Today, I see you waving me good bye, I feel my heart tearing apart. I see you walking to a man who is adoringly looking at you, and I have knots of the size of a football in my stomach.
Have you fallen out of love for me? Or have you given up on me?"

She turns to me and smiles.

My girl, All I want to do now is to run to you a take her in my arms and tell you how much I love you
I lost the diamond in search of rocks.

Baby girl, I am wearing this glasses to hide my tears, when right now I want to hug you and weep on your lap"

Me feet feel like stones when I walk towards you "You are looking stunning honey" I mean every word girl.

I'm wearing these sunglasses because its a horrible feeling to see you go away forever.
Good bye Sweetheart!

"The hardest thing in the world is to see the one you love with they one they love"

True Love is...

Doc: "Your BP is high, Cholesterol is high, Are you taking the medicines are prescribed?"
Ram: "Yes, Chitra my wife makes sure that I do" *Looks at his wife Chitra*
Doc to Chitra "Chitraji, the medicines are not really working. You have to take care of his diet too"
Chitra 'I do doctor, but he doesn't it anything, he has just lost his appetite and hates healthy food"

On the dinner table, Ram refuses all the healthy meal that Chitra has made. this goes on for a few days.
Ram: "I hate this saltless, boiled veggies"
Chitra "Well, we need to get that BP in control right"

Secretly, everyday Ram goes out and has samosas, chaats, batata vadas, and Chitra poor thing, makes all the healthy food that Ram keeps rejecting.

Dejected Chitra, walks down to the market and catches Ram red handed with a plate of Onion bhajiyas.
Guilt ridden Ram, doesn't have the guts to go home.
He roams around the streets all day thinking
"Cmon, i cant have that boiled food, I am no patient"
"She dictates too much, i am not going to go home"
"Today is the last day of her commanding me what to eat. Divorce it is"
"I wont go home this time, the divorce papers will"

Its 11.30pm, Ram thinks "Its almost midnight, she must have slept, will go home and check"

He enters the house, switches on the light and sees Chitra sitting on the dinner table.
Guity Ram, looks down, he just cant get enough guts to face Chitra. He knows what Chitra did is for his own good. On the table he sees a letter and a covered plate.

The letter says "If you want to have poison, you should have told me, I would have given it to you instead of hogging out"

Courtesy: Google Images

Ram lifts the cover over the plate, it has bhaiyas, jalebis, vadas, pizza. Ram pushes the plate away.

Ram sheepishly looks at Chitra and holds his ears, looking like the Puss in Boots from the movie Shrek. Seeing him, Chitra's heart melts and she smiles and says "Even after 40 years, I just can be angry at you if you make that baby face sweetheart" and gives Ram a bowl of boiled veggies and his medicine.

Ram pics up one boiled broccoli and raises a toast with his fork "For you smile, my lovely wife"

True love is Forgive and Forget is the key, 
Sometimes something tasteless can bring a dash of spice into your life.

Its a true story inspired by my parents

The time never stood still..... ~ From a Nomad's diary

With every passing phase

gushes a deluge of memories

Some of love and indomitable craze

and some of gloom that cut short the days!

Time always reminds how it flies in haste

when the days are bright and full of glaze

And then, when the tables turn, it falls far behind

and each moment becomes a haunting tale of grind

The past never fails with its preconceived notions

and it tags along with a trail of ‘if's’ and ‘but's’,

But the present stands firm on its subtle intuitions

even as hopes for future are cornered by doubts!

With the second long gone that one hoped would last,

For a moment the doubts left and again, faith stood a chance

But then, the second died leaving a footprint in the past,

as time reminded self that no time were to last!

Confessions: I am rich, I want to be wealthy

I'm 30 (Yes! I don't feel the need to lie about me age because I feel sexier than ever). That's not the point here.

I came here to pen the thoughts that I am having for a while now.
Like every typical human being, who is running a rat-race called life, I did my Grad then Post Grad and got a lucrative job in a creme position, that pays something.

For me, money has never been a priority. Its important but was never topped my list
Off late I see people of my age or younger with so much materialistic pleasures.
Now I see myself wishing that I had more.

People say inner peace is important, but what if I already have inner peace.
What if I want materialistic pleasures now?

Like I am here, trying to save peanut skins out of the peanut size salary, and there I see people spending shit loads on things that they don't need.
I know a girl, who buys things from designer dresses to cars to compete with her peers and many a times doesn't even use those things, just throws it in 2 months.
And here I am, I use clothes for atleast a year, and keep it as a night-suit after it totally worn out

I don't want to think before spending.
I want to buy what i feel like instead of sighing and consoling myself 'Next month pakka i shall buy that"
I want to take a loan not because I need it I want to take a loan to save taxes
I don't want to give up all my pleasures once I start paying a big EMI
I want to take a vacation without planning a budget
I want a designer home, and not a DIY home
I want those fancy looking lights, a fountain and 3 maids to take care of my house.
I want to buy those organic stuff that are three times more priced than normal stuff
I want to go to Bora Bora and not drop my jaws seeing the ticket and the stay price
I want to work as a hobby and not just for money (though i love my job but in the end of the day its money)

When I stand in a petrol bunk, I see an Audi or a land cruiser, I do not see cars, I automatically see the down payment of the house I so wished was mine.

I went to a Louie Vuitton showroom out of curiosity and asked for the price of a dumb looking clutch. The attendant refused to tell me the price, it was insulting. it was as if "dude, you really think you can afford it?"
I was a bitch enough to not leave the store until I knew the price. And no surprises here, that dumb looking clutch was Rs. 59000/-
I mean I have no purse, worth a 5 digit figure.

I want to be wealthy

I want my signature to be an autograph

I know rich and wealthy is different.
I have a rich life, love, family, peace, smiles...now I want money too

The dual face

There are times the self wonders

What it feels to be honest and gay

The world is no more the way it used to be

For now, it is full of shades in gray

There is no truth in those sweet words

Which sound more like a bleat from a wolf…..

The smiles and gestures are made of plastic

That tends to hurt worse than the rues

The dual face does not seem to fade

Even as it keeps growing uglier with time

Ask not why there is one such kind

But ask, which face would it be this time

Accept the reality, oh sweet lady

As this, is the order of the day

There will be many such faces you shall see in your time

Just make sure you recognize them, while they come your way!!

Sometimes

Some relationships are strange

Like ours,

Sometimes we are friends
Sometimes we are lovers
Sometimes we are just strangers to each other

Sometimes we can share so many things even in silence
Sometimes even many words don't say anything

Sometimes only "I'm there for you" is needed
Sometimes being there isn't enough
Sometimes "I love you" seems so true
Sometimes "Leave me alone" feels like a lie

Sometimes one hug from you makes the world seem alright
Sometimes even nicest gift from you doesn't bring a smile

Sometimes...in life..relationships are strange..

AWARD: the perfect poet award for poets rally week 79

The poetry piece Happy New Year has won the perfect poet award for poets rally week 79.
Thanks for tagging us Hyde Park Poetry

 

The post published for the Maithili: the pioneer for setting up this space is indeed well called for.
It's great to have such surprises popping up.

But this space being a common platform we can't really abide by the rules to accept and move it further.
So hereby, as the proud owner of this award here's the call for all poetess here.
Let your poet pieces flow at Darlings of Venus.

Wining Blog Post: Happy New Year
Blog giving away the award: Hyde Park Poetry

Cheers!

 

Cries...Young & Old!

"Aee......", the little girl came crying to her mother.
Loud and clear cry with no tears.
Elder brother had hit her in hide and seek game since she was making fun of him.
And she kept on crying and crying and crying with no tears.
Her mother kept pacifying her but deep down she knew her daughter.
She knew her nature and she knew no matter what she gives her now, nothign can stop her cries.
Nothing can stop her shouts.
Nothing can stop her cries.
Left alone for an hour or so she would calm and get along with the game once again.

Noted: A small incident but huge cries.

"I saw him with another girl", the words kept repeating in her mind.
:How can he cheat on me", she kept asking herself.
She had been a nice partner in all his work, humble listener for all his troubles, patient girlfriend in their stormy relationship yet she had lost it all today.
She just could not change who he really was.
A Liar! A cheater! A backstabber!
Not only was he cheating on her, also he had abused her with various allegations!
She was used and then thrown in the middle of nowhere!
She succumbed to her broken heart injuries and decided never to trust any man.

Noted: A big incident but no cries.

To err is to Human!
Yet Humans are scared to even be the natrual themselves!
Look at the small babies crying their lungs out because of hunger or wet diaper or the reason that they don't know what else to do to express they need attention and care. They cry and they cry it all out. The cries bring out all that they inside in them. Tears wash away every bit of sorrow/discomfort/pain from their inside. And they forget it all after they are done with the crying.
Grown ups don't cry. They keep everything inside them and suffer more than the original hurt. They don't want to show tears to anyone. In the process of being strong they actually make themselves weak from the inside. Pain kept with them results in suicide, grudges, depression, mental illness and what not heart disease.

 Why not cry over the hurt?
Why not cry over the injury?
Why not cry over the loss?
Why boast about fake strength?
Why pose about hopeless support?
Why not let it all out?
Why not let tears wash it all out?
Why keep the pain inside?
Why hide tears in heart?
Why not cry it all out ?

Keeping Pain inside rather than letting it out?
Is it really worth it?
Think!

Smita

Love is...

Love, Its such a small word and is such a powerful feeling.
I never knew that I had the capability to love someone so much and be loved back more than I have ever expected.

In my past, I have been in what I though was love. It wasn't, now i know that for sure.It might have been very strong attraction, a lot of like, big infatuation but not love.

Love is when someone has tears in his eyes, in front of his family and friends, on his own wedding mandap, when he saw me cry in my father's arms.

Love is when he holds my hand tight, when he knows I might breakdown anytime while bidding good-bye to my parents.

Love is, when no matter how far, he comes to pick you up despite him having prior commitments.

Love is, when he calls 10 times a day, just to make sure you aren't lonely.

Love is when he wants you to go out independently in a new city, but still subtly tells you that he is there whenever I need him.

Love is fighting and making up over a cup of coffee.

Love is, when you cough in the middle of the night and he who is lying beside you is all alert and asks "you ok? need something?"

Love is, when the kitchen shelf bangs, and he comes running in to see if I am ok.

Love is, when he tries everything in his hands to make you comfortable.

Love is when, he tries real hard to plan surprises for you.

Love is when you know that he is there.

Love is that,silent side glances while he is driving.

Love is holding hands on the car gear.

Love is, laughing over stupid jokes.

Love is, keeping each other annoying animal names.

Love is, to see him smile when he sees his lunch box.

Love is, that warm hug on a cold night.

Love is, him wrapping a blanket around you just because you were "looking" as if you were freezing to him.

Love is, that smile he has pasted on his face, when he sees you. (Such smiles are reserved only for you)

Love is when you both act stupid together.

Love is, when  he books a ticket for your parents as a surprise for you, just because you said you are missing your parents.

Love is us.

Its a great feeling be loved by the person you love.

Happy New Year !

You gave her your trust

There she was as a blogger here

Acknowledging the talent

With ideas well served.

The platform grew 

Darling of Venus was growing

You started it

Many others joined in it's showcasing.

Together we came as one

One platform for all the Darlings

Voicing our opinions 

on matters adjoining!

Thanksgiving for us is here

Congratulating you for your new journey.

Embrace a new life soon 

with all the happiness and prosperity.

P.S.: Here's wishing Maithili, person who laid the building brick for Darling of Venus, a very happy married life. Darlings it's showtime!

Smita