He's just a friend.. and no I won't tie him a rakhi to prove that!

             

              A man and a woman cannot just be friends. Stereotyped but true. Either one of them develops so called "soft corner" for the other or they are made to disguise their friendship in the name of "maana hua bhai-behen" or what is more popularly called "rakhi brother" or "rakhi sister".

   What angers me further is that it is  ok for guys to have as many female friends as they want. Infact  they build up a reputation as "Oh that guy is so nice.. He always helps girls". A girl in similar position would be perceived as "That girl is very chaalu, plays around with a lot of guys." 

              A girl is under constant vigilance all her life. When she is a child she is never let away from the eye of her parents fearing that someone would take advantage of her. When she steps into teenage, the neighbors and relatives constantly keep a check. A little falling out of line and you become the hot gossip. You get that "please keep your image high, who will marry a girl who hangs out with so many guys?" from your parents. Once a girl is married she is subjected to the possessive guard of her husband. 'Why are you late?" "Who was that guy you were talking to?" becomes routine and in absence of the husband even if the newspaperwala comes to collect his bill the gossipwine would go as "She must be having an affair, I saw someone get into her house the other day when her husband was away." Where does all this end?? No where!! IT just gets coming to us and so came the "rakhi brother".

           I have made rakhi brothers too. My brother was born 7 years after me and so during that time I made 2 rakhi brothers who were my next door neighbors. Our school had this tradition of tying a rakhi to your desk partner ( we were seated one boy one girl per bench) and I made a couple of rakhi brothers there. 

          Growing up, the litmus test to check if a girl likes a guy is to ask her to tie rakhi to him (trust me this happens in every school!). If she avoids it then "daal me kuch kaala hai" and if she does it then she doesnt harbor any feelings! 

          This has also been used by girls to shrug of the love lorn guys after them. Remember that "Excuse me! Kya re? Ban ja mera bhaiyya re" song ?? I have also come across couples who cocoon their relationship by tying a rakhi (what what things people in love do!) 

          In my early teens I was tomboyish. Now tomboyish doesn't mean I used to play guy sports wearing  their kind of clothes. I just gelled more with guys than with girls. We were a group of 7 boys and only one girl -thats me. Such things are transitory and we all moved on in years to come. One friendships day they decided to all meet up and surprised me by giving  a call. They were just outside my gate and I couldn't invite them because I was alone at home( it is a strict no! and yes it does turn very embarrassing sometimes). We all chatted happily oblivious of the surroundings in my compound and the time and when my parents returned I knew from their expression that I had done something wrong.

          They were angry and expressed their disappointment in the way I was talking to them in front of the entire locality! Oh come on I had grown up with same guys and now it was all different. My parents never objected to my mixing up with guys. That was another time when I was 13 and this incident was when I was 17. 4 years created such a huge difference in perceiving the same situation! My parents, even though themselves trusted me and my friends, were worried about my reputation in the locality! That is how it works! Even if you don't care, you are made to care about such shallow things..

          I gave up the fight. I m not essentially rebellious by nature. I saw the wisdom in not hanging out with the guys. My friends were decent enough to understand my plight. My parents were worrying that seeing that I mix with so many guys, the rowdies would think I m a cheap character and start approaching. I guess my parents were right in their track. 

         That one incident changed my entire perception about people and life. I learnt what it meant to keep up one's image. The friendship between a man and woman is a very delicate one and has to be treated with a lot of dignity.

         What's so cool if a girl roams about with an army of guys and flirts with her so called "rakhi brothers"? It is demeaning both the friendship and the bonding of brother-sister.

         I do not give a chance to the people to embarrass my parents with my roaming about with guys.

How genuine a girl-boy friendship can be,is another topic. Come on, no one would see if he is a rakhi brother before spreading rumors right? Then why the fake show?

         If a genuine friend of mine from the opposite sex needs my help I m always there to lend it and yes I have the courage to accept a friendship as friendship.

         "He's just a friend and I won't tie him a rakhi to prove that!" 

If you remain within your limits, the world would respect your limits...