October 17, 2011

Chastity - I smell it on you!

Posted by Wings of Harmony at 11:36 PM
Hello Hello and Blessed Be My Darlings!

*This post has scientific back up - and has been collected from requisite sources - All the opinions are my own and can be raised for debate. Now read on, Disclaimer's Over ! :D*

Is Virginity a choice? Lack of opportunity? Or fear of the outcome?

Honestly, I came to learn of virginity, very late in my life - actually how to lose it, I must say. No, I am chaste...however, to break the solid mental blocks that I had, science came to my rescue. I was judgmental initially (I was 13, yes...coming of age and SUPER scared!) I used to think you can get pregnant if you share a toilet seat (with a guy, yes you can laugh...*looking away*) Anyway, hehe, so I read about what 'virginity' was and I thought it was SUCH a big deal...it still is.
However, on a serious note, this question really bothered me...is virginity a choice? Not really. If I had to rate this on a scale of 1 to 10 (From Lowest to Highest), I would give 8 to Fear and 4 to choice. Lack of opportunity does not count, as there's no scarcity, it's readily available if one looks for it. ;) But how much ever we develop the fact that Indian society is now "growing up" welcoming a discussion on taboo topics like this, we need to admit, the stigma is potent. Very potent. Men still would love to have a virgin as their life partners... (Sorry, menfolk, I understand that the ideology might be same with the Fairer sex, just that women have been brought up to not question some things - which is changing, but very slowly). As we can see, it is in this era, that women can alter the state of their virginity and it is in this era, that the tests have evolved to see whether a woman is virgin or not. Yes, the question then becomes relevant, where does the choice lie or does it even exist?
Image Source: www.rodenasphoto.deviantart.com
There is a psychological reason to this issue. Human beings in general are territorial and they assume the same with their partners - so if my man or a man's woman has been with another mate - in a physically intimate relationship, the ability to appease or satisfy is threatened. To put in simple words, the egos are hurt as the capability to satisfy the mate is questioned. So, virginity doesn't really depend on opportunity, it depends on choice. Honestly, a man cannot tell whether a woman is virgin or not - unless she chooses to tell him or unless he has done it a million times before. The 'hymen' may tear due to excessive sports or other rigorous activities or may not be developed...hence a woman may not bleed...when she indulges in an intercourse for the first time or whenever.
Image Source: us.fotolia.com
Honestly, men these days are very understanding, at least in the present generation. However, there is a fear of being rejected by the society and that of being left alone, tagged  and demeaned, if it turns out that a woman had  indeed slept with another man, she is looked down upon, by the people around her. We find it easy to blame others - she is slutty, she is always horny, they are always making out...they must have done it, she is not a virgin. My point is Virginity should be a choice, it is not for women - though there might be exceptions. And Fear, plays a major major role! Women, Men back out due to lot of factors - Sex for them, involves too many emotions, normally. Then there is a fear of 'protection' being not enough and the chance of pregnancy and third, to be chaste for 'The One'.
Image Source: locatetv.com
I believe, that Chastity or Purity goes beyond the body or state of it. Primal emotions, which humans have, really doesn't heed to the fact if you have done it, it depends on how you do it :D And therefore, MSM would   Love to believe that Virginity is a choice and should remain so.


meoww on October 18, 2011 at 6:21 AM said...

nicely written MSM..! :):):)
i so agree with you on the 'being chaste' tag !
I mean seriously..its such a foolish thing to do..
Just being you make out and stuff before marriage..you are impure..
Grrr..ridiculous :/

oh..and i recently came to know your name is Pradeeta..its such a pretty name..!!!

You know i keep on saying it a lot of times..! Hehe
It sounds kinda musical..!
Cheers :)

meoww on October 18, 2011 at 6:23 AM said...

just because*
lol..typo :p

Mystical Skeptical Me on October 18, 2011 at 7:35 AM said...

@Meoww: Only one sentiment, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" :D :D :D
*Phew* Your comment did that to me! :D A BIG HUG! *Ahem, calm down Pradeeta ;)*

Thank you, this post had to be up, it's like a pulsating fire, which is there, lurking and has not gone completely. Chastity has now become synonymous with virginity and I hate it! Bloody social hypocrites! :x

Anyway! Thankyouuuuu for liking my name...Suruchi also mentioned that it sounds musical... I don't know how, but I love the compliments!! :D :D [Too long a comment, will stop now :P :D]

meoww on October 18, 2011 at 8:34 AM said...

hehe..awww :):):)
a beeeeg hug :D
cheers :)

Paanipuri Lover on October 18, 2011 at 11:44 AM said...

True man, so true! Like you covered actually all the points! :D
And the title is wowie! Ekdum super! :D :D

Freelancer on October 18, 2011 at 2:30 PM said...

Virginity is a choice. Whoever says it isn't is open to debate.

And as u said, Nowadays men really don't care if you have slept with other men before being married. The only people left to appease is the society. And frankly, if you can't keep your private life away from society, YOU ARE A SLUT.

Let society be darned. They would still label you with just a tiny wisp of a rumor. The power is in your hands. Its your choice and anyone else who thinks he/she can influence you can be damned as well.

Keirthana on October 18, 2011 at 6:34 PM said...

You have done a good job pulling all the points together, Pradeeta! Like, though everyone of us spoke about virginity, you outlined the subtle line between virginity and chastity and how they are being confused with! I loved that aspect of your post :)

vertu on October 19, 2011 at 3:39 PM said...

Completely agree with you and very nice post.

You've real swt blog. Btw My first giveaway at my blog.

Mystical Skeptical Me on October 19, 2011 at 11:08 PM said...

@Paanipuri Lover: *Lipsplitting Grin* :D Thank you!

Pssst: Chastity is one of my favorite perfumes, hence the title. :P :P

@FL: Couldn't have put it in a better way myself. :D Yes, no matter what you do, society's gonna tag you...so better not let it affect you. :D

@Keirthana:Awwwww :D :D :D Thank you!!! :) :)

@Vertu: Thank you! We all darlings make up this blog! :D :D Will check out yours!

Smita on October 21, 2011 at 11:24 PM said...

Loved the way the post has been written :)
Also the important point that has been raised, why is it that a women is not accepted in the society after losing her virginity while a man is?? why there are so famous world wide tests to check whether she is a virgin or not while no such tests are talked about him? why is everybody so biased when it comes to him!

Mystical Skeptical Me on October 22, 2011 at 7:32 AM said...

@Smita: :D :D Thank you! :D I know, it's so annoying the way how society is so hypocritically...while it is wrapped in theses smelly wisps of it's own nasty doings! :P

Megs.Smiles on October 22, 2011 at 3:50 PM said...

Nobody has expressed it the way you have. AweFUCKINGsome ;)

People are just two faced hypocrites.
“…while it is wrapped in these smelly wisps of it’s own nasty doing”



Mystical Skeptical Me on October 22, 2011 at 7:03 PM said...

@Megs.Smiles: Hahahaha, Thank you! :D :D :D Yayyyie!

Cheers to you too! :D

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