The 'it' factor

I haven't yet met a girl who doesn't consider losing her virginity as a very special/important/emotional/sentimental moment of her life. As it is, girls tend to be emotional in matters concerning love. So when it comes to something as huge as loosing your virginity, without a doubt there are a lot of sentiments attached to it. 

Someone once observed that female virgins are more often virgins 'by choice' whereas male virgins are virgins through 'lack of choice' (well that's what they say anyway!). In most cases that 'choice' is made because of the fear of outcome. Fear of what if I get pregnant? What if he leaves me later? What if he starts wanting me just for sex? What if? What if? What if? Naturally this leaves you with no other choice but to NOT do it. Generally I am the type of person who says 'When you are in doubt, just do it and get it over with and you'll know the answer one way or the other'. BUT not in this case. If you have even an iota of doubt in your mind, don't do it. Simple as that.

The final decision of wanting to be physically intimate in a relationship should always lie with the girl. Because she has a lot more to lose than gain. Call it our society's backward thinking or the innate sensitive nature of a girl - but there is no point denying that consequences(if any) need to dealt by women more often than men. I've also seen cases where its not 'fear of outcome', but 'peer pressure' that makes people make 'the choice'. Some of you may disagree with this as it seems quite unlikely. Every author on this blog is a strong, opinionated woman who has a mind of her own and knows how to use it. So this concept of 'peer pressure' might be difficult to relate to, but trust me I have seen it happen. 

At the heart of it, everybody will agree that losing your virginity is a matter of personal choice. But what most people fail to realize is that this choice is almost always influenced by one or all of the factors mentioned above. And since virginity has been a tabooed subject for so long, and the point that "sex before marriage" is wrong has been drilled and embedded into our minds since ages, its hard to NOT get influenced by all these when you are trying to make your personal choice. We live in a society where even falling in love is considered wrong, so sex is definitely a criminal offense. But right after marriage both love and sex are glorified to such an extent that you are left wondering is there an on-off switch for this? Before marriage - love is wrong, sex is wrong. After marriage - flip the switch on and now everything is right.

Just for a second, forget that this was drilled into your mind. What would you choose? Would you go ahead with what your body and mind crave? 

As long as you know that you won't regret it, as long as its something that both of you are comfortable with, as long as its something that works for both of you - I don't see why anything else should come in between. 


p.s - After reading the previous three posts that have already been posted about this discussion, I came to the conclusion that all of us have the same views (more or less!) So I tried to keep mine short to avoid unnecessary repetition of points!