October 3, 2011

Of depression bouts and exhilarating haircuts

Posted by Spaceman Spiff at 12:49 PM
You know why God destined women to have long hair?

So that we can go chop-chop-chop when we’re down and depressed.

I mean, seriously! Think about it! Do men have that option? Not unless they have long, rockstar-type hair. But for women, it’s such an easy option. You grow your hair so that you can take out all your frustration on your hair rather than go kill the person who caused the frustration.

When I was a kid, I was never allowed to grow my hair. Primarily because I was an asthma patient and my folks felt that if I have too much hair on my head, it’ll lead to unnecessary sweating, which will lead to the next bout of wheezing. Some such logic. So it was always a blunt cut, till just below my ears.

As I grew up, my sister- who was not allowed to cut her hair because she has thick curly hair- started experimenting on me. She took it upon herself to take me to the parlour and then try all sorts of hairstyles on me. Wedge-cut, mushroom-cut, blunt cut, razor-cut, boy-cut- God only knows what and all cut! And I used to sit on the chair and silently cry, because I hated getting my hair cut.

Somewhere in my teens, I started growing my hair. And I used to have nice, silky, straight hair (‘used to’ in bold-italics-underline). So I would take real good care of it. Oil it every week, brush it like every half an hour, try different hairstyles, etc. I used to be known for my hair. I hardly experimented with it, and the most I would do was trim the ends. But it never grew till my waist. It just refused to.

Once I came to Hyderabad, the water completely destroyed my hair. It started falling like the rain falls in Cherapunji- heavily and ALL THE TIME! The texture became rough. And then I went and got a step-cut. That was the end of my hair as I knew it.
I did try to grow it out many times. Each time I go for a haircut, I think “Ok, this is the last time I’m cutting it. I’m going to let it grow. I’m NOT going to chop it off again.”

But here is the problem with me. If I get depressed with something (mostly guy-trouble), I simply HAVE to do something. And by something, I mean, I need to do some type of make-over to make myself feel better. Sounds sad, I know. But I would rather look better than cut a vein or some such bullshit. So every time I get depressed, I either go buy some new dress or get a haircut. One time, I even got a piercing done- third stud in my ear (I realize I’m on the verge of being put in the ‘Cuckoo’ box).

Another reason- even if they’re just trimming the hair a bit, these parlours will charge a minimum of 400 bucks. So I’m like, What the hell, I’m paying this much, I might as well get a proper haircut!

You get the picture?

The last time I had a haircut was in June. Again, the same resolve. That I will let it grow this time. I even went and bought hair serums and a hair straightening iron to style it well.

What was I thinking??

Because hair may come, hair may go. But guy-troubles? They’re a permanent fixture.

So off I marched to the parlour on Saturday afternoon (Yup, I WALKED nearly two kilometres in the hot afternoon sun. I was THAT pissed). I sat in the chair and told the lady, “Just cut it off. Make it short. Do whatever you like.” So she did. Now my formerly bra-hook-length hair (I’m sorry, I don’t know how else to explain the length :/) is now a little below my ears. It’s not exactly a boy-cut, but somewhere along the same lines. And yes, I look like a 7th-standard kid now. Not girl. Kid.

And I felt SO much better after I got it done! It was like half my depression had been chopped away with the hair! I’m still not talking to my guy, but that’s another story. I have my brand new haircut to fuss over right now. Men can wait. ;)

So there you go ladies! Next time you are down-in-the-dumps, don’t bother to slash your wrists or get drunk or make sobbing phone calls. Just go get a haircut. There are so many fun things you can do to your hair! Trust me, it’s the BEST therapy! :)

What do you do when you need a depression-fix?


Viya ;) on October 3, 2011 at 2:11 PM said...

Whoa man!! I can't imagine chopping off my hair just because i'm mad at someone.. :P
My hair hardly grows and even when it does, because its very curly, it kinda becomes very 'spring-y'.. :P people hardly notice when i get a hair cut and even if i get it cut in a certain style, it doesn't even make a difference.. :( ...
That's a weird theory - not letting your hair grow because of asthama.. :| for me, i was allowed to use shampoos from a young age because shikhakai used to just aggravate my wheezing like hell!
When i'm really depressed, i write or go take a hot shower (this works the best for me!! :P ) or jus doodle away! :)

Aathira on October 3, 2011 at 6:21 PM said...

Oh wow...
Really ... chopping off all your hair for guy trouble... I am way too attached to my hair to let it be affected by any guy.

The treatment for me is also at a spa/parlour... need a great body massage and face treatment.... makes me see things in a different light after that ;)

Spaceman Spiff on October 3, 2011 at 6:27 PM said...

@Viya: It's really infuriating no, when you go for a haircut and in the end, there's hardly any difference?!

@Aathira: I used to be way too attached to my hair. Until I realised that the feeling was not mutual. Whatever bit was attached was also falling off. :/ So I figured, I might as well experiment when I have a bit of it remaining on my head. Who knows, I might just be bald by the time I'm 30.

Keirthana on October 3, 2011 at 6:48 PM said...

I have always had a fantasy of having hair that swayed long and dense around my waist. But, with a case of bad hair genes I know I can never make it. And yeah, even chirapunji rains fall slower/lesser than hair fall :(

And I always fear that I am gonna be a bald bride :(

PeeVee on October 3, 2011 at 7:17 PM said...

Could we have a picture please?:)

Cutting my hair anymore would result in my mother cutting my head off. Yes, I live in the Stone Ages.

And my therapy is chocolate, need I even say it out loud? I gorge and put on three kilos to get over boy trouble, that's what I do. Very healthy no? Not to say it works wonders on my size zero figure.
do get the sarcasm

maithili on October 3, 2011 at 7:40 PM said...

strange therapy!!

I love my hair way too much to do this <3
I grow them all year round and then annually do the haircut which suits me the best (plus my guy is crazy about it ) :) :)

As for the guy trouble or depression, chocolates and pastries are the solution for me!
Bournville and cadbury silk wash away my depression!

Red Handed on October 3, 2011 at 7:50 PM said...

Awesome theory !!!!
I am a follower of that. I ct my hair like every 3 mths or sumthing. You know how malayalee parents are right? The literally killed me when i got back from my Mumbai internship in my second year of college with front flicks and a really short bouncy haircut. Then i went to bangalore internship and yet again shocked them with my almost boycut hairstyle. They would have secretly planned to disown me coz i luk nothing like a malayalee but a BONG :P. This time it is permanently straightened side flicks and a shoulder length hair :P

YOU GO GIRL! Men definitely can wait!!

Smita on October 4, 2011 at 1:45 AM said...

the second line, so that we can go chop chop, lol. awesome expressions !
getting a haircut for releasing depression is great :P
but usually it's the reverse for me, I usually get depressed after getting a haircut because the shortened hair! Sometimes i feel like killing the guy who cuts my hair, who was told not to expreiment much with the length, but there he goes and do whatever he wants to, and later asks me,"the length is okay na?". as if ,if i am going to say no then he may increase the length with some magic trick! ;)

Paanipuri Lover on October 4, 2011 at 11:17 AM said...

Same thing happens to me! But, I've never experienced a guy-problem, EVER! unlucky me! But I love my hair way too much to chop it! :D :D
Lovely post!

Spaceman Spiff on October 4, 2011 at 11:23 AM said...

@Keirthana: You and me both have the same fear, sistah. :(

@PeeVee: I'll put up a picture when I've decided that I look good in it. :P And psstt! I haven't told my mom yet. Sssshhhhh!! ;)

@maithili: Ok just a tip. Don't wait for a year to cut your hair. At least trim the tips every two months. It'll grow better. :)

@Red Handed: I seriously admire you for having the guts to be so experimental with your hair. Seriously! ANd yes, I know how Malayali parents are. My dad would'nt notice even if I shaved my head, but my mom would probably faint. WHich is why I haven't told her yet. I figured, byt the time I go home in December, it would've grown. :P

@Smita: I know! What was he thinking? That he can glue back the cut off hair?! :D

meoww on October 4, 2011 at 12:44 PM said...

awsaaaameee mole :P:P:P
ond yuss..Iagree with Viya..
how much i ever i do any damn thing to me hair...
it just looks the same..
way too bushy and curly and like this big forest on me hair :P:P:P

but yes...men can wait ;) ;) ;)
go let them take a hike..

so the next time i feel like strangling my guy for some stupid thing he does..
i will go the 'lets-go-snippety snip way" :P:P

mmuuaahhs :):)

Suruchi on October 4, 2011 at 3:44 PM said...

haha..we all have our different ways of dealing with depression-ever tried having chocolates?and shopping does it for me sometimes too:-)

but why take it out on your hair...poor things:-)

and ROFL at the bra length size hair mark...i love the short hair look and i am sure you are looking kinda cute now...but giving a part of that beautiful head for a guy-naaaaaaaaaaaaah, not worth it...why don't you chop off his...hair that is, for a change and see:-)

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue on October 4, 2011 at 8:18 PM said...

I follow the same method!!!
Not just for guy trouble but anything... Even a bad depressing week suddenly becomes so much better after a haircut or hairstyling or anything hair related.
I maintain my hair either shoulder length or waist length and experiment between those two. When its already shoulder length, I dont cut it shorter but get a different style or look. Its so therapeutic!!! Next best thing to retail therapy!

My mom's the opposite! She loves me with short hair and is always pestering me to get a short bob or something really short and modern! But I dont like it THAT short!

Pria on October 5, 2011 at 7:47 AM said...

I too feel the same in this heat. Ofcourse, our winters officially started only yesterday.
I was so frustrated and irritated to cut it and good that I always gave it a thought for I waited an year to make it long. My moms hates everything in me except hair :)
Good that you love your new style but what if they have spoiled it? Aww! I am not going for this one reason!

Spaceman Spiff on October 5, 2011 at 11:24 AM said...

@Paanipuri Lover: You're better off without the guy-trouble, sweety. Believe me. :/

@meoww: Yes yes, go chop it off. And then please don't EVER tell your guy where you got the idea from. :P

@Suruchi: I'm not really a fan of chocolates. And I would rather spend money on an eating binge than shopping. SO much more satisfying. :)

@The girl at first avenue: Hi-faive, girl! Hair therapy always works for me.

@Pria: If they spoil it, I might have to shave it off completely. :/ I would rather have no hair at all than a bad hairstyle.

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