October 13, 2011

Life through a Sperm's eye

Posted by Freelancer at 9:08 PM

Remember Pyaar ka Punchnama???
YES, i just wanted to let you know what the male species feels about their counterparts. *flexes muscles*

So DARLINGS' of VENUS,
why VENUS?? why not JUPITER or MERCURY?? We all heard about the book and the phrase called "MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS". Ever wondered why?? VENUS as a planet is one cunning bitch! Its not that nearer to the sun to be extremely hot but still manages to give us the fake illusion of being a close ally when it itself is quite inhospitable. Same goes with the female species.

For many years, we have been blamed for being unreasonable and pig-headed.
Lets break the myth okay. We, males are extremely simple and have simple needs. Food, Friends, Sleep and Sex [FFSS] True, sex dominates the rest....so???? Give us one or all the four and we won't complain. We hardly do that anyway. And what do girls need?? Everything. Everything has to be according to them. I can see all of you authors of the blog vehemently denying this....but c'mon, who are you kidding? And when you don't get things your way, out comes a complaint that we just need YOUR time.

I have seen committed girls ready to give up friends just so they can chat with their boyfriend. Boys, on the other hand are not like that. Boys are more likely to forget their girls when they are out with their friends. And no matter how much you fight with him, he is not going to change that trait. So here's a few pointers to all the girls out there who have boyfriends or might find one in the near and distant future.

1. Learn to cook
Guys will forget their mom's food if you can dish out a delicious dish once or twice.

2. Watch and try to learn about his favorite sport
A night with your guy watching football or baseball and cheering their favorite team or player will mean a lot to him.

3. Do NOT bring out old wounds or his mistakes when you argue

NEVER DO THAT. Fight and be done with it. No one wants to remember them days later.

4. Listen to his favorite band

Yes, love for same music may yet take your love a long way.

5. Be friends with his friends
Most times than not, this is actually better. BUT that doesn't mean that you should tag along with them everytime. Guys need their guy-time.

6. Experiment in BED
Break free from the stupid missionary position and surprise him. Love making will reach new heights. [speaking from experience] *looks around*

7. Be friends with his mom

He will always be a momma's boy. Now he has nothing to worry about.

8. The Boob factor
Boys love BOOBS. You know what to do!

9. CUDDLING... GIFT OR CURSE? Figure it out
Some guys love cuddling. Some, like me, can hardly breathe. Know what your guy likes. Its not that the guy always has to do it your way.

10. MEN are not DOGS
Ahem...Not all men are dogs. You people should stop comparing every guy to a bastard you have met or heard about. Seriously, do you see us calling you names even though there are more than twice sluts in this world than gigolos?? Yes, keep this in mind when you decide to call me a DOG too after reading this post :P

Phew! Anyway, done for now! Will come back soon for a culinary recipe. Will make sure i don't post more than 2 posts this month. Don't want to lose the admin job yet :P

See you later ladies...

19 comments:

maithili on October 13, 2011 at 9:23 PM said...

Stands up and applauds!

Our only male admin makes himself visible!

Well THAT was quite a good list of things guys want and you say GIRLS want EVERYTHING!! :P :P

A little testosterone was what the blog needed and a guest post came along at the RIGHT time! Thanks dude!

PeeVee on October 13, 2011 at 10:08 PM said...

Dayummm :D

meoww on October 13, 2011 at 11:12 PM said...

hahahhaa..!!
Yo..!!
i guess this be the first time moi is interacting with you..!!
one word..
*respect*
you now why...
for saying everything fearlessly despite being aware of the beeeeeeeg trouble you might possibly get into later..!!

heheh..jokes apart..
well i kinda agree with you on quite a few points..
*wink wink*
you see m a girl after all..
accepting everything as it is...just doesn't exist in my hormones..!!
blehheheehe..

well it was nice to get to see the story from the other side of the fence for a change..!!
cheers..!!
:):):)

meoww on October 13, 2011 at 11:14 PM said...

ohh i forgot to add...
that pic is sooooooooo cutee..!!!
m talking about the girl by the way..!!
:P:P:P

Red Handed on October 13, 2011 at 11:51 PM said...

AND THE MAN TALKS!!
Considering your points...i am an excellnt girlfriend! :P
ThankGod my guy isnt around to stop me from typing tht :D

Food+Sex+ Understanding= MAN TRAPPED!

Vinati on October 14, 2011 at 12:02 AM said...

Now that was sharp but true.
And in defense of the point that girls want everything I would alter your statement and say that NOT ALL GIRLS ARE SAME. :P

Rest everything is fortunately or unfortunately correct. :D

Interesting post, by the way! :)

Mohit on October 14, 2011 at 9:20 AM said...

Interesting ... Never wrote on this subject but am quite tempted to ... Keep 'em coming bro ...

Spaceman Spiff on October 14, 2011 at 11:08 AM said...

Ahem.
Quick question about point number 8. What exactly do you want us to do about them? If we don't have enough, that is? Get silicone implants? Or wear push-up bras? Or consult Rakhi Sawant/Mallika Sherawat for tits- I mean, tips?
Would guys rather fondle plastic ones than the real ones?

A tick mark for all other points. :)

Ok, so not a quick question, technically. :/

Spaceman Spiff on October 14, 2011 at 11:09 AM said...

And I agree wiht Vinati. Not all girls are the same. Some of us just want to be left alone to watch MasterChef Australia while the guy goes out to have a beer with his buddies. Sacchi.

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue on October 14, 2011 at 1:49 PM said...

Hmmm.. the first post by a GUY!
Frankly I expected some much better than the predictable gender bashing/girls Vs boys kinda post! (No offense!) ;)
BUT writing on an all-girl blog requires courage.. so kudos to that!

Like Vinati said not all girls/guys are the same. And you know, even girls need as much space and girl-time as guys do! I'd hate it if my guy kept calling and checking on me when am out with friends..
Interesting post! :)

Freelancer on October 14, 2011 at 3:03 PM said...

@all of you...

thank you thank you for the warm welcome...now i am gng to answer to the questions some of you had..

ahem

@vinati NOT ALL GIRLS ARE SAME???
Maybeeee, but isn't it the worldwide notion that all girls want TIME just as guys want SEX?

@Spaceman Spiff
lol....i dunno...guys just love to play with them. Size is just an excuse. If we had boobs, we wouldnt have lusted about yours' :P

also, u get a high-five for MasterChef Australia. I actually tell my girl to keep the fone so that i can watch that show in peace :P

@thegirlatfirstavenue

okay, i kinda wanted to bash...but that's what every other guy would have done. Understanding girls is hard. Understanding guys on the other hand is so ridiculously simple, that you tend not to realise that since you girls already think complex :P

P.S| I love the fact that DOV is going great! Its like a sister blog to ALOP now. Started almost together, though i can't stop grumbling about the fact that you have more followers :P kudos to you ladies

Spaceman Spiff on October 14, 2011 at 3:23 PM said...

Hi-faive on that! If someone calls me at that time, I say "I'mwatchingMasterchefAustraliaI'lltalktoyoulaterokbye". :P

And about men having boobs, well there is something called man-boobs, did you know? But I doubt if men like playing with them. :/

Freelancer on October 14, 2011 at 5:39 PM said...

@SS

man-boobs aren't fun enough...they lack shape :P

Paanipuri Lover on October 14, 2011 at 7:20 PM said...

Yo Spermie, wazza? No, I'm not hitting on you, I'm just asking, what were you doing all this time, hunh?
Nice post. Bt, let me tell you, I won't give you "I-am-different-from-other-girls" shit. I accep, we all are the same. We are mechanized to be. But the levels are surely different. Like, no two women are the exact same. And Darling, we give you guys all the space, okay? :P
I'm just kidding, I don't have any experience in this field, so won't say anything more. *does the zipping up the mouth-wala action* :P

Keirthana on October 14, 2011 at 7:36 PM said...

Kudos to the guts of posting this in an all-ladies blog without worrying about the bashing afterwards ;)

//I have seen committed girls ready to give up friends just so they can chat with their boyfriend.//
I would just like to add to this point that while what you said happens, most times I have seen that it is the guys who make the girl to give up the friends. The reason being a certain possessiveness and the knowledge that, given a chance other guys will loop in on your girl :P

And, for the point number 8 and your reply comments to Spaceman Spiff, I think if you guys had had them, you would not bother about it in the 1st place. It is the lack of it that makes you guys go loony about it :D

Keirthana on October 14, 2011 at 7:51 PM said...

And, a question out of curiostiy, even after all this hassle, you guys want our kind. Don't ya? :D :P That's our charm!

You just have to accept the fact that you cannot do anything about it, because we are one proud species and we are what we are!

Smita on October 14, 2011 at 11:36 PM said...

Lol, that was quite true and funny to read ;) Don't know about others, but I like it when guys point out those silly things we girls do :P We do it so that we may grab your attention ;)
Anyways, I thoroughly enjoyed the beginning, thought your later points are yet to be implemented on some guy, if anybody will find me ;)
Also I would like to see more posts under freelancer tag ;) :P

Freelancer on October 15, 2011 at 8:03 AM said...

@paanipuri lover
oh i have been around...checking on all your posts. But being a dude, am not supposed to be a part of this all-lass gang. Am an admin coz of the owner's kind heart :P

haha...and regarding exp, oh you will know soon enough. The day will come when everything else will stop being important compared to him. AND that's the day he has signed his death warrant :P

@Keirthana
I agree with you. Guys make sure their girls have limited friends or almost no friends. But thats in the first 2 years of courtship. After that most guys give their girls a bit leeway. The sad thing is girls won't change even after 8 years of courtship :P

@smita
oh your time to implement them will come soon :P let a guy run after you for a while :P

btw sent you the gift. Should reach you in a couple of days

Archana Chari on January 26, 2012 at 1:10 PM said...

Lets just say, we had this all figured out. Seriously, it was not so hard at all. Music, Football, Sex, Boobs, Porn - We knew it :) And yet, we will continue to act this way only. Yea, like that we are bitches :)

Continue to be charmed!

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