Disclaimer: All the thoughts and ideas I am going to present here are solely my opinions and I apologise beforehand if it hurts anyone's sentiments.
Let me come straight to the point. I feel that choice should always be the reason for virginity, but instead fear of outcome is stealing the place. Now, that I have told you what I opine, I will explain.
Be it arranged marriages or love marriages, there is always the difference of opinions between the guy and the girl on this topic. Guys seem to get onto the physical relationship bus pretty easily while the girl struggles between her strongly-formed opinions and the desire to succumb to the earthly pleasure or even at times, just to prove her love for her guy. What I feel is the reason for this goes way long back. Eons and eons ago, women were treated more powerful and superior than men, knowing that the creator gave her special powers that was denied to men, which is true in a certain sense. But then, as time progressed, due to the a lot of factors as irrationality of men and delicate nature of women, the sides were reversed and women found themselves controlled and dictated by men. And it took a while to come to where we are now. I am still in doubt if people have come to terms with the fact the men and women were created together to co-exist and not to ride over the other. (Sorry, for the pun)
The point now is, women have been conditioned mentally, for a long while, that physical pleasure is something that you have to indulge in, only after marriage. This conditioning forms a major influence when it comes to the decision of a girl, whether or not to lose herself for the first time. This conditioning of the women's mind makes her thinking biased towards the fear of what the outcomes of her decision are gonna be. I do not blame women fearing the outcome. After all, it is true that she is being the sole sufferer, while the guy has the option to shrug it off and the probability of the society blaming only the girl is almost 100% (except the cases where the guy truly loves the girl back and decides to shoulder equal blame, which, of course is rare).
Another point to be noticed is that most guys, give in just for the sake of pleasure they get out of coitus. However, women associate many more factors to their virginity. The first time, a girl wants it to be perfect, memorable and with "The guy" she decided that she can lose herself to.It is just not the pleasure of the moment to her, but it is a combination of love, trust, care, support, belief and what not for her. So, if a girl chooses to be a proud virgin until she finds her man, there is nothing to scorn about, neither when the girl decides her man and confidently loses herself by choice. It is her life and her choice, after all. Also, when she finds her man, even then they can choose to wait until after marriage if that is their choice.
I do not think lack of opportunity as an option, except when you count not finding "The guy" as a lack of opportunity.
So, to all the ladies out there, please choose your life, in all aspects. If you want to wait, make your point to your guy that it is your choice and you choose it so. Do not live your life on someone else's choice. If you do that, you will lose the meaning of your life.
Until later,
Keirthana :)
P.S: This is my first ever serious post. I have never expressed my opinions strongly on such controversial topics, even in my blog. So, I apologize if anyone feels I have gone overboard at any point.
P.P.S: People, it is my opinion that there is nothing to feel shy about discussing on strong topics, because expressing our views is our birthright. Just make sure that you do it and that you do it right.
Let me come straight to the point. I feel that choice should always be the reason for virginity, but instead fear of outcome is stealing the place. Now, that I have told you what I opine, I will explain.
Be it arranged marriages or love marriages, there is always the difference of opinions between the guy and the girl on this topic. Guys seem to get onto the physical relationship bus pretty easily while the girl struggles between her strongly-formed opinions and the desire to succumb to the earthly pleasure or even at times, just to prove her love for her guy. What I feel is the reason for this goes way long back. Eons and eons ago, women were treated more powerful and superior than men, knowing that the creator gave her special powers that was denied to men, which is true in a certain sense. But then, as time progressed, due to the a lot of factors as irrationality of men and delicate nature of women, the sides were reversed and women found themselves controlled and dictated by men. And it took a while to come to where we are now. I am still in doubt if people have come to terms with the fact the men and women were created together to co-exist and not to ride over the other. (Sorry, for the pun)
The point now is, women have been conditioned mentally, for a long while, that physical pleasure is something that you have to indulge in, only after marriage. This conditioning forms a major influence when it comes to the decision of a girl, whether or not to lose herself for the first time. This conditioning of the women's mind makes her thinking biased towards the fear of what the outcomes of her decision are gonna be. I do not blame women fearing the outcome. After all, it is true that she is being the sole sufferer, while the guy has the option to shrug it off and the probability of the society blaming only the girl is almost 100% (except the cases where the guy truly loves the girl back and decides to shoulder equal blame, which, of course is rare).
Another point to be noticed is that most guys, give in just for the sake of pleasure they get out of coitus. However, women associate many more factors to their virginity. The first time, a girl wants it to be perfect, memorable and with "The guy" she decided that she can lose herself to.It is just not the pleasure of the moment to her, but it is a combination of love, trust, care, support, belief and what not for her. So, if a girl chooses to be a proud virgin until she finds her man, there is nothing to scorn about, neither when the girl decides her man and confidently loses herself by choice. It is her life and her choice, after all. Also, when she finds her man, even then they can choose to wait until after marriage if that is their choice.
I do not think lack of opportunity as an option, except when you count not finding "The guy" as a lack of opportunity.
So, to all the ladies out there, please choose your life, in all aspects. If you want to wait, make your point to your guy that it is your choice and you choose it so. Do not live your life on someone else's choice. If you do that, you will lose the meaning of your life.
Until later,
Keirthana :)
P.S: This is my first ever serious post. I have never expressed my opinions strongly on such controversial topics, even in my blog. So, I apologize if anyone feels I have gone overboard at any point.
P.P.S: People, it is my opinion that there is nothing to feel shy about discussing on strong topics, because expressing our views is our birthright. Just make sure that you do it and that you do it right.
10 comments:
hahaha.. nice post.. the pun is a happy accident i guess :P
http://achu89.blogspot.com/
I still believe a lot of women lose their virginity by choice. But many of them (mainly urban girls) now don't give into a man just to satisfy him. While it is heartening to see more and more women be confident about their sexuality and indulge in physical relations purely for pleasure, I would be rather happier if more people (males included) reduced having the relation simply for amusement and attached more soul to it.
So frustrating to find virginity still viewed from gender-centric angle by most people. Sigh!
.... and in reality, choice will not be the independent deciding factor, as even choice is influenced and biased.
@Vishal: I agree that people should attach more soul to the physical side of love,that's my opinion.
@L.Guruprasad: Choice is also biased, I accept. But, at least you will have more of your decision than others' influence. Thats better right?
In the current westernized generation, I see the vice-versa too.
Women are no more degraded and delicate. They are still strong, powerful and superior or may be equal to men.
Liked the post!
i agree..losing virginity should be a matter of choice..its the fear of outcome should not cloud a Lady's mind..its her life after all..you go eitherways..but have no fear..be proud of whatever you decide..
Nice post keirthana..
Will come up with mine soon :)
cheers !
Thanks Pria. I agree with you that nowadays women are more powerful and string but the fear still lingers. Women should be flinging that fear away and choose their life.
@meoww: Thanks:) Waiting to read your post. Btw, your name is too cute. Reminds me of all the cute kittens in the world :)
Keirthana, you made sense, really. Like I can totally find myself nodding at each and every point! Cheers girlie! :) :D
Thanks PL :)
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