Single doesn't mean Desperate.

Blessed be everyone! 

As the title might have been a HUGE give away, I am in a mood for some serious lashing out. You may call it a Single Girl's confession or a sore spot that I have developed recently, I needed to send out a serious message across. Now now, please, this isn't meant to be taken offensively by the people who are in relationships or committed to a person - it is my personal opinion, do not go hating me about this. (Saw the need in me to not be hated/disliked/disagreed with?? :P Anyway, that's not the point.)

Few things I must lay down, before I say anything else. I am 23. An Adult. With Hormones and Brains that work perfectly in harmony with each other, sometimes taking a dip at the lack of sheer nice weather, coffee or some music. Otherwise, I am perfectly normal. I look alright. And I do not have a board hanging around my neck which reads - "Duuude, I am SINGLE, Wanna DATE ME Please!!!" Why am I saying this? Recently, in fact, over the last two years, I have noticed a drastic change in the youth these days, of my (our) generation. Everyone seems to be "in a relationship" or seeking to be in one. Not that it's a bad thing, but this has changed the dynamics of interpersonal relations of persons in social community. (I did sound like an MBA student there, I digress).

[Click on the Image to Read the strip]

So, my point. I was sitting in my college food court a few days back, when I noticed a guy (black hair, tall, fair, sexy stubble and eyes that spoke like 1000 words - you get the idea). I was searching a character for a chapter I was writing for my wannabe novel - and this guy was perfect. Like exactly what I wanted. So you can imagine the joy that lit up my face as I exclaimed - "Wow! He is perfect!" Now my friends know, that I have been really interested in this one guy for past four years...so when I 'ooooh' and 'aaah' over any other guy, it's like I am really 'desperate' for love (lust?) and I am being told so. I checked my response and shut the fuck up and kept quiet. I do that now mostly because I really don't want to sound defensive. It will just reinforce what they all are trying to say. At another such occasion, I complimented the guy (the one I like) and was told that I make it too obvious that I like him - that I am desperate to get his attention! WTF?? Of course I am. Why would I like him then????

Image source: aloftyexistence.wordpress.com

Now, there's one quality that I have acquired (involuntarily) is that I can talk to guys/men/boys pretty well. (lesser mortals call it Flirting). It's apparently when you are seeking attention or want to get laid or send out wrong signals, that you flirt. Who the hell ever said that???? Flirting is GOOD! It gives you confidence about yourself and of course, your ability to charm people, not necessarily men. I am really pissed off with the fact that I have known some couples - people who have been in relationships or have recently gotten into one, for them, it's like now their eyes hover on me (Rules of Engagement anyone?)...I seem too interested in men (read: on TV or the guys (not from college) I have met and who are now sort of good friends) and that's a bone of contention. "You are really getting desperate man!" Why??? Just because someone asked me for a cup of coffee and I said yes??? Or just because someone couldn't get back home, because it was late in the night and not safe at all and it's assumed that just because she is single, she must have done something with the guy she met - hence she did not return but came back at 5 in the morning on one such occasion??? I am amazed by the hypocratic attitude. You are permitted to call over your boyfriend to stay with you behind closed doors, but I am not allowed to judge because he is your boyfriend. Isn't that wrong?? 

Image source: istockphotos.com

I know someone (A very very close friend of mine) who is single and really pretty, tall and has lots of brains - someone who technically should not be single. However, she is and we both spend hours discussing about how we are judged. The moment she praises a guy (along with me sometimes - we do check out some good looking men. :D) she gets looks. That really hurt her. And she made a valid point - that it's so easy to judge someone who's single when you are not. Because there's no denying that we all NEED someone, that does not make you desperate - that makes you a HUMAN. 

Image source: visulaphotos.com

Desperation is when you get clingy, you go out with every guy who leers at you, when you have always been in a relationship and now you are not and therefore, seek attention because you cannot live without one. Desperation is when you have decided the names of your kids, the place where you will get married and the color of dress you will wear when you get married - and all of this, when you haven't been on a date twice with the guy. That's desperation. Desperation is when you are a pushover - trying to do whatever the guy does, says and wishes.

Image source: featurepics.com

Desperation is not when you check out a guy and say - Oooh, he's hot. Oooh, I love your hair/shirt/perfume/smile/jokes blah blah. And when you are single, doesn't flirting make sense? And what's wrong in liking what you see?? If I talk about the guy I like, ceaselessly, I will be tagged as infatuated/obsessed/pretentious (because apparently, you cannot love someone for four years straight - without telling them). Desperation is not when you play hard to get, when you show the guy that you are not just another Blonde or you end up liking more than two men. It's okayyyy! It's your life and you can make mistakes! Single-dome is to be enjoyed! In which ever way you like! Date a million men and don't be with anyone, how does it matter?  

Image Source: 123rf.com

But if I accompany you with your boyfriend to anyplace you like and then you tell me how you guys fight cutely and ogle at each other with that secret smile lingering at your lips, what am I supposed to do? When I stay put, respecting your relationship, why is it hard for you to not judge me when I am trying to divert my mind by checking out who's hot and who's not? I may blush at the compliment given to me by a boy - does that mean I have a crush on him??? No effing wayyyy! It's just that genuine compliments make people blush! And I accept the compliment, hence I blush! How is it even related to the fact that I am single? If I sound excited for an invitation to a simple coffee - that is desperation? How? Coffee, I LOVE! And I don't give a shit if it's a guy or a girl - it's the company. If I have more guy friends, how does that make me flirty, slutty or desperate? I may not be in a relationship but that does not lower my standards at all! I am socializing, living a life of my own - how does that make me "waiting to be laid???" I am looking for love and yes, like you I am capable of falling in love, just that I may not be ready for commitment! I am taking my time, trying and testing the waters...and yes, the wait sometimes frustrates me because I do long for the solace you can find in your lovers arms, but I can satiate myself with a romantic movie - sob a bit, drink up a BIG mug of coffee or have a chocolate and be back to normal. That does not make me desperate. 

Image source: webmd.com

I know this post is wayy too long but I didn't know how to shorten it without telling everything that I have on my mind. I would like to apologize if I have hurt anyone's feelings. You may know, this was the desperation to prove myself that being single doesn't mean I really need a man - right now. Live your life king size. Love the time you have - living every moment, loving every sweet accident. For that's all our hearts know - Loving. 

Things I love. [Image source: vi.sualize.us]

PS: I have used an article for reference, at "Askmen.com". 

18 till we die!?

As I turn 19 in two days time, I feel the jitters about ageing, turning old, saggy skin, losing my creative bend, graying of my long curly tresses, getting all these vibes of sorts lets me want to just freeze in time and be 18 forever.
When I first heard Bryan Adams sing "18 till I die" I was of the opinion, why is it important to be young at heart? Why you need to lock in the enthusiasm in you and take that ahead till you hit the century? why is it needed to just "CHILLAX" in life and go with the flow?
Now I exactly know why!
Life is too short to bother about things that are not going to help you in your mental growth. Boyfriend ditches? it is purely his loss! He couldn't see the kind of awesome person you are or couldnt go beyond the ultimate "looks" factor! Life really is short. Our days are counted on earth. Within that period, we have to showcase our worth to the crowd and trust me, its not impossible! Be responsible for your own glory and be responsible for others happiness.
There are SO MANY things in life I want to learn! complete all the things I left incomplete due to some or the other petty hassles. Guitar, singing, Kathak, Bharatanatyam, yes a failed attempt at being a miss KNOW-IT-ALL. But I really love to try out and experience everything under the sun, so why not!
Plus, we learn stuff for our joy right?! Not to boast of a degree in music or an MA in dance!
As I turn 19 in a days time, I embark upon a new journey of maturity and aim to achieve a new level of excellence. But, I promise to be 18 forever and ever and ever!
All you pretty ladies who think they have lost IT, do something wild, shop, party, do some shoe-shopping, brunch with your guy, play with your kids, let the wrinkles look the prettiest on you, laugh with your best friend, run with your dog, dance like no one's watching, marry your guy, but let not the teen in you EVER DIE!
P.S- I have decided not to cry about a new pimple anymore!
So, happy 18+1th birthday to me! :")
Much love forever!

Happy birthday Suruchi

 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you

        Happy birthday dear Suruchi,

        Happy birthday to you... ( Claps and cheers!!)

 Today, the 28th of September, is the birthday of our loved darling, a hilarious writer, a supermom, a totally cool teacher and the beautiful Suruchi ..

 Her posts have made us grin like idiots and clap at her amazingly witty humor.. 

 Suruchi, here's wishing you a very very happy birthday..

 You make us smile with your posts and encourage us with your comments. 

 May you be blessed with all the happiness that you desire and with super good health.. 

 For someone like you, birthdays are not about numbers (you will be forever 20 in  blogworld!! ) but its the   day  we pamper you for all the smiles you leave on our faces and all the lives that you touch.. 

Have a super day ahead and a rocking year !! 

Okay, this is your birthday gift :) I know all your favorite chocolates ;) :)

But kyunki aapko apni figure ka dhyaan rakhna hai and we soo soo don't want to spoil your efforts of evening walk , be content with the images :P 

          

Confessions of a Daughter

Dear Dad,

I have probably never said this directly to you, but I love you. I have always found our relationship in a bit of swirl and always going through ups and downs. I have heard that father-daughter relationships can be as complicated as it can get. I also saw the movie “Abiyum Naanum” and got to know what you undergo watching your daughter grow and let her out of your hands into the world. In my younger days, I did not understand you even that much as I do now. I just used to think that you are being way too strict and short-tempered and stubborn. As I grew, I convinced myself that I cannot reach you as certain people reach their fathers. So easily. As a close friend. I thought that you can never understand what I think.

All the while, my inner voice kept chiding me that I am misjudging you. It took me a while to realize I was blinded by my childish nature that I failed to see that you were just taking care of me with each restriction and that you just wanted me to reach new heights by each scolding. Though, I did not get as close to you as I am to Mom, I knew that you missed me when I was away in spite of the fact that we both fought most times when I am at home for holidays. I would not say you are 100% flawless. For that matter, no one is 100% perfect. But, you were all one could ask for, for a dad, even much more. You were unique in your own way of nurturing me and anna.

This distance from the start somehow made me not being able to convey personal stuff to you as much as I tell mom. We both are that way till now- feeling awkward when it comes to discuss certain personal stuff. But now I know. It is like that for you because you want me to get the best and at the same time want me to be safe. It is like that for me just because of habit. I will work on it. 

I know the struggle you are undergoing inside- a struggle between letting your daughter have what she desires and not letting her get hurt. I have learnt to exercise tolerance when you say the same thing over and over again. Because, now I know. I know that you want me to do well. I have learnt to find a way around things when your ideas seem a wee bit orthodox for me. Because, now I know. I know that you have been living in that kind of mindset for so long that you do not know that there is another way of seeing things. The way I do. Nevertheless, you always have given me my freedom and space to open up my wings and fly high and wide. You know I have to fly high and I will too. But however high I go, I will always be coming back to you and amma. For, without you two I am nothing.

Your loving daughter,

Keirthu

Until later,

Keirthana :)

A tribute to Homemakers

Hello Darlings of Venus,

I am new here and I thought what better way than to start with a tribute to the people, who we are going to become ;)

Whenever I come across the term Homemaker, I get reminded of an article I read long back. It was written by a woman who was a homemaker and got a lot of "Oh! You are just a homemaker" stuff. She had written about her experience where people just take the homemaking thing so easily until one point she got frustrated and replied "I am the co-researcher in family management and maintenance" and how people had suddenly looked at her with respect. She had simply put homemaking in other words but that actually gained her respect.

In my opinion, homemaking is the most difficult job in the world. I do not have any experience in that but after seeing my mom go about it for 20 odd years, I can safely say that. Also, I believe making a home from a house is possible only by the fairer sex. Neither that I am being feminist nor that I am not aware of guys being a homemaker nowadays, but that there is something in a woman's touch. Be it a woman who does the job of managing the family full time or a woman who works and also manages the family, she always bears the onus. When a woman says, "I am tired. I think I will call it a day." she does not just go to bed. She makes all the arrangements that have to be done for the next day's run and goes to bed an hour after she said she is tired. But, when a man says, "I am tired. I think I will call it a day." he does it. Immediately. Without another thought.

So, here is to all the Darlings of Venus on Earth, who are homemakers or yet to become homemakers. Cheers ladies :)

Until later,

Keirthana :)

In conversation with MSM !!!

 Hello Darlings,
       Since the blog is now filling up with more readers and writers, it is time we get to know our girls better and for all those wondering ideas we all have been working at Darlings of Venus to see the light of the day. As promised, we bring in a candid interview of one darling each month and this month we have chosen Mystical Skeptical Me or MSM as she is lovingly called in blogworld.
       Pradeeta Mishra aka MSM is a lawyer in the making, a terrific story teller and what makes her unique is her inclination to mystical things and yes ofcourse her gift of reading faces.. She writes at Mystical Skeptical Me
       Presenting our very first interview on Darlings of Venus
               
                   Admin:  hey MSM how are you doing?

                  MSM: Hey, I am doing fine. :) 

                    Are you as nervous for this interview as I am suddenly? :P Miracles do happen. :)

  

                 Admin: Nope! neither do you have to be..just relax and answer impromptu

You tell me.

MSM: All right. :D

admin: Ok, MSM tell me what makes you mystical and skeptical?

                                

MSM: That is something I always wonder and wonder whether all of it is in my head. ;)

                    Miracles do happen. :)

Okay, personally, the only thing that makes me mystical and skeptical is - that I question my beliefs but never let them waiver. So, I believe in spirits, deja vu and everything out of the blue, but only because I have a research backing me up

 Admin: Were you always interested in mystical things or did any particular incident lead you into it?

                    MSM  I got interested subconsciously when I was around 6.. 

A family accident occurred and I was unscathed...the only thing I remember is...staring at the photo of Kaali, The Goddess and wondering why I am safe

  Certain close calls and escapes made me believe that there is a strong Super Power watching all of us.

I took up mysticism officially when I was in 8th Grade.

  

Admin: Oh so what is it that you feel  makes you skeptical?

 MSM: That question makes me smile. :) Most of you must have come across the fact that I read faces sometimes...

 And one such day I came across an article done by some University which said that Face Reading or body language interpretation are used by "Psychics" in a twisted new concept called "Cold Reading"

 That article was like a cold splash on my face and abilities

  I started to read whatever I can lay my hands upon to find others like me

  and realized that people for money have been fooling others by saying they are mediators etc.

 I thought may be I have been fooling people too? That was a very harsh realization

  But thankfully, my doubts led me to formation of my Blog Mystical Skeptical Me

  :)

 I realized I do face reading just to help people connect with themselves and not for becoming commercially popular

 Admin: well MSM it was quite an insightful about the name of your blog ;)

 MSM: Too much na? :P

 Admin: Don't worry we are patient enough with our darling :)

 MSM: Lawyers, I say will never learn not to talk much. :P :D Thanks for the patient hearing though

 Admin: That brings us to the question, why law MSM?

MSM: Ah. That question. I don't know. I was actually wanting to be a fashion designer. One day my father came across this Law coaching. Most of the people I met there and around me said that I am creative, too emotional and soft spoken...so I am not meant for law. I took it as a mission to prove them wrong. And I am doing it. :)

 Admin: So you are there just to prove them wrong or are you now passionate about it?

 MSM: Law has bring forth my desire to write. I am passionate about it now. It has given me a lot.

:)

 Admin: Well that is great..

 MSM: Thanks! :D

 Admin: Now that we are done with the basic intro.. lets get to rapid fire ;)

 MSM: Haha, sure sure

                   Admin: It is impromptu and you do not get any time to think

                   MSM: Okay I am ready

  

 Admin: one thing that you hate about women

 MSM: Nagging

 Admin: one thing that instantly turns you on

 MSM: Good smell

 Admin: something that always makes you uncomfortable

 MSM: Crowds

 Admin: love or marriage

 MSM: Love

 

 Admin: What do you think of friends with benefits?

                    MSM: I do not agree. Impromptu or spontaneous thing, I do not judge, 
                    but deliberately, no.                                   

 Admin: have you ever stolen anything?

 MSM: Um, yes.

  Pen. It was lying on the table, alone, unclaimed. I had to finish its miseries. ;)

  [I LOVE Stationery]

 Admin: Quite an unusual one I say

 MSM: Hahaha. :D

 Admin: If you were the last person on earth, what would you do?

 MSM: Given that I have all the survival means, I will be on a look out for any living creature and make them my companion.

If not, then I am sure, I will definitely find something unusual.

  ;)

 Admin: Do you have any phobia?

 MSM: Yes. I don't know what you call it, but I am terribly terribly scared of worms and thunders.

 They are creepy.

Admin: well tell me one thing about yourself that one would notice first!

MSM: My smile. Or my eyes.  My friends say my eyes.

  

  

               Admin: and what is the first thing that you notice in others

 MSM: Their eyes. I read them.

 Admin: intriguing

 one person you adore?

 MSM: I adore my Father.

 Admin: sweet :)

 Admin: What makes MSM totally mad with anger?

 MSM: When someone makes baseless statements against me publicly - without intimating it to me first.

  Or without asking my stand on it.

                    Admin: what cools MSM instantly? 

reply quickly

 MSM: If I am super angry, a hug would cool me instantly...Hugs are something I believe work like Magic Potions. They can melt your heart. :D

 Admin: oh so now we know how to cool u down although its not feasible for us to hug you :)

 MSM :D Haha... Yes. That is one thing which most people are not aware of though.

                   Admin : Ok MSM we take a break here. we will continue this later

                   MSM: All right. No problem. Message me when you want to continue. :D

  

  It was great till now.

Admin: hey dear 

  welcome back to our interview

                    MSM: Thank you for that welcome

  

  :)

  Let's get started

                   Admin: okay so tell me wat is it that brought you to blogging?

                   MSM: I was nursing this idea of publishing my poems online for a long time. I had 
                    been following some blogs, but never had the courage to start. After serious 
                    consideration about the research I had done over a long time and developing my 
                    writing skills, I  created  a blog, spontaneously.

                   Admin: oh! so tell me who is that one blogger who inspires you the most?

 Pradeeta: Inspire me? :D Am I allowed to give only one name?

 Admin: yes only one name :)

 MSM: That's Maithili from one such story.

 And the reason is that you were the first female Blogger I came across and your stories struck a chord somewhere. I instantly loved your Blog. :)

 Admin: Aww I m flattered.. Considering you yourself are a great story writer!

 MSM: Awww, I am not. :) I am still learning a lot from my fellow Bloggers.

  <We said Awww at the same time :P>

 There?

 Admin: yes

 MSM: Sorry, I am so Impatient. You take your time.

 Admin: Well you are so unusually rapid with your answers that I have to think what to ask you :)

 MSM: Ohh. :P I shall take it slow then ;)

 Admin: Ok so tell me who is MSM's dream man?

Pradeeta: What would I like in my dream man?

                    Admin: yes

 MSM: When I am interacting with men, four things - If I have to be interested - I look out for - Smile, Good Smell, Smart and Flirts intelligently.

 Unfortunately, I haven't been thinking about my dream man for a while now.

  :P

 Admin: hehe is it because he is somewhere near you?

 MSM: Um, not exactly. He is around but not near me. He doesn't know he is my dream man :P

 Admin: Oh how unlucky of him !

 MSM: Awwww.... Hahah

  :D

  I know

  ;)

 

Admin: MSM I have totally run out of questions to ask you

MSM: Hahaha :D So, you want to end this one here?

  Can I ask you one though?

 Admin: yes you can

 MSM: What did you think of me when you spoke to me the first time?

 Admin: well this isn't going on record is it?

 MSM: If you want to

  :P

 Admin: Well I read one of your post which was closely associated to my life as well.. I left you a comment and you replied almost instantly.. From your post I gathered that you would be someone I would connect to.. But never did I expect someone so enthusiastic about life as you!

  I loved your positive spirit

 MSM: :D

  Yayyy! Thank you!!

 Admin: see this is what I love about you :) Simple things make you so happy :)

 MSM: Hahaha :D Yes, actually, simple things make me happy and big things freak me out ;)

Admin: that's MSM :)

 MSM: Hehehe

 Admin: IT was fun and exhausting to interview you :)

 MSM: Exhausting? Haww, why?

  :P

 Admin: I m sure our readers now know MSM a better way!

  Exhausting because you are so crystal clear with your answers that you don't leave any loopholes to question at!

 MSM: Thank you for taking my interview as the first person at DOV

  Hahaha :D

 Admin: You are most welcome

 MSM: I loved your questions!

 Admin: thank you

 -------------------------------------------------
P.S My sincere apologies for not being much available at this blog and being slow to respond and comment back. A very warm welcome to new followers and writers here. You all are doing amazing work here. A biggg hug and thanks to the admins who have done a wonderful work and chosen same awesome writers to invite here! Chandana and Priyanka thank you for making this blog so beautiful. Thank you my lovely writers who have brightened up this blog with their posts. Also please suggest who you would like me to interview next month :)

An ode to Mum and her What Nexts

As a toddler, whilst I demanded a lot of medical attention mum, you could only be heard saying an anxious ‘What Next?’

When I was growing up, throwing cold water on your long cherished dreams of decking up our only daughter, I would frown on frocks and pretty laces. Back then you had that disappointed ‘What Next?’

Returning from neighbourhood expeditions with the galli-ke-boys all sweaty and muddy, I had endless stories to recite. I always had your rapt attention and an indulging ‘What Next?’

Finally when I got my bearings right and wanted to parade around in skirts rather than shorts, you thanked your stars and grabbed the opportunity to take me shopping, buying me anything and everything I wanted with a patronizing ‘What Next?’

Under your aegis I soon blossomed into this child you always wanted, bringing home

trophies and laurels. Your plan was back on track and you couldn’t help but say a triumphant ‘What Next?’

Terrible teens brought an end to your dream run Mom, but despite all odds you fulfilled every single unreasonable demand with a courageous ‘What Next?’

Problems seemed to be in love with me and there were times I was at the end of the rope. Your compassionate ‘What Next sweetheart?’ is what has had me going for so long mommy.

Educational aspirations threatened to take your darling daughter across seven seas and

you did have an agonizing What Next moment. Being my mom was never easy, but you bounced right back and you lead my path to success with your encouraging ‘What

Next Beta?’

When I got the love of my life home the only thing you could muster was a ‘Vekateshwara!!! What Next?’ with a glance at the gods above.

From the most spirited What Next to the most dejected What Next you have been there for me like a beacon of hope casting away all the darkness that threatened to engulf me. You made my trammels bearable and strives worthwhile.

Come now Momsy don’t give me your ‘All-knowing-stop flattering-What Next look’.

You know it’s true you are the best mom anybody can have, after all, everything you

do you do it for me!!!

P.S (I put this up not cause of any sudden out pouring of  lowwe for momsy, but have been reading a lot of mum-related posts off late so thought might as well make my mommy famous in the online world ;-))

P.P.S (Loved this red : Mum and daughter)