Ramblings of a Facebook User

Note- The post is totally useless just like facebook is :P

Facebook has taken over our lives. It has become as necessary as oxygen to breathe. I can't find a single person not registered with Facebook, be it children aging 10 yrs (despite they are not allowed to register before 18, but to hell with! rules are meant to be broken & why not!) or the senior citizens.

Talking of networking in this age- without a doubt, Credits to Facebook.

Bringing people closer who hesitate to even a utter a word in person, but don't shy while chatting /commenting - Credits to Facebook.

Taking online shops to another level- Credits to Facebook.

But here I am limiting my ramblings( in a way critical opinion) as to how Facebook has evolved over time in terms of the applications it provides etc.

1.The "LIKE" Button

I see "LIKE"  option is made for those lazy bums who find any status/photo interesting but their indolence refuses to leave the mouse so as to reach the keyboard and take the trouble to type something & speak their minds. (Yeah, I do this most of the times :D).

But talking about the another category of people who play the role of charity to distribute free "likes" no matter what is posted, do exist.

And coming to the EPIC part, people liking their own respective posts. Its like giving themselves a Hi 5 in public( thats what I read on Facebook itself). Zuckerberg should seriously consider removing this option for our own respective posts like SERIOUSLY.
Personally I feel, popularity or should I say TRP of a status/post is now judged by "like count" from "comment count".

2. TIMELINE
The most useless option I've come across. Needless to say I'm still using that age old "wall". Timeline is created for photo freaks, just to give them yet another space to glue their photos & make the profile look more like an exhibition.
P.S- I'm not bringing the page owners who use timeline constructively for displaying their logo name or for like things.

3. CHECK-INS
Ah! the one I envy. Dude, what is the use of beating your own trumpet and forcibly telling people where are you, what are you doing, with whom are you. I feel as if Facebook has humbly assumed the responsibility of parents and take care of their whereabouts in their absence.
I've seen people checking-in & tagging their homes, not to forget "home sweet home". But some intelligent people have taken this to a notch higher & they are checking in and tagging some exotic/grand places while they are sitting at their homes, not to forget "home sweet home":D. For what? just to flash their status! hahah
I detest this even more when I'm trying to study for exams and then I see somebody checking in ( remember I'm a religious Facebook user:D) First day first show, watching XYZ movie at ABC cinemas. Huhh I so hate Facebook's technical team for creating such an option.

4. SUBSCRIBE OPTION
People subscribing for updates of renowned personalities- OK, good enough but what about those subscribing for just another Facebook user, particularly talking of the one subscribing for updates from a girl, who has rejected his friend request. What is he expecting? she'll update where is she heading to & inviting you to meet her. Grow up!

Well the views are totally personal. May be some people find these options useful, something usefully useful.

P.S- My Lair replaced by the name Sugar. :D

YES I AM STALKING YOU !

So yes, I stalk. I have declared it as my favorite Hobby and I am not ashamed to tell anyone about it. Like sex is the baser urge of men, stalking has become my basic urge. Yes it has! My stalking does not follow a pattern. I stalk different categories of people and this kind of uplifts my inner peace and sometimes tickles the devil in me.

So whom should I blame for my brand new addiction? Facebook and Twitter have a tie here. Facebook for its Photo Albums and Twitter for it’s per minute updates.

Here are the people I stalk and why

1)      The Fat Chicks from my school who have now with the help of VLCC successfully become living Barbie Dolls- Yes!!! It’s been five fucking years since the School drama got over, but I cannot stop myself from clicking the albums of these recently turned petite creatures open and curse myself as I move on from one image to another. 

2)      The Thin Chicks from my school who have now become Fat pigs- “ I Love You God!” is the sentence that leaves my cake hole every time I go through their albums. How awesomely my inner beast dances to their misery. Call me a bitch and I shall take a bow.

3)      The Fighting Boyfriend- He tops the list of the people I stalk. I am the owner of two twitter accounts. One the real me and one for this blog which maybe 2% of you follow! *Hear Curse Words*. My guy loves tweeting more than he loves me and I have come to friendly terms with that brutal fact. The fun part is after every fight he tweets about this random inexistent person (I know he is referring to me) and how he hates that someone. He updates as to how the bitch needs to be taught a lesson or tweets like ‘A lesson learnt and a bitch forgotten’. All I do is sit back and enjoy the limelight. The boy has no clue that indirectly he is letting me know that he is still thinking about me and loves me.

4)      My Lesbian School mate- I had one such schoolmate whom I had to stick with for some months after I fought with my bestfriend. I thank her for telling me that she likes me and that she wants to get inside the toilet with me, otherwise I would never have run the race of my life and patched up with my straight best friend again. It’s been 8 yrs since that incident but I still love going through her facebook albums where she is holding her girlfriends tight and close to her. I wonder what their faces would look like when she proposes them. Maybe they move both ways. 

5)      The Salman Khans and Katrina Kaifs- Ah yes! They give me my daily doze of pure innocent laughter. My facebook account is friends with such wonderful people I tell you! Men with the body structure of ‘A cloth on hanger walking down the street’ and their status going something like “On my way to gym. Today its Cardio”. Then there are some chicks with lips as thick as an earthworm, pouting seductively in their display pictures. I thank them for having such an outrageous level of self esteem.

Is there some kind of a rehab for fighting this addiction?

P.S- I am taking a break from making lists. Thank your heavenly stars!

P.P.S- This coincidentally happens to be the 14th post of SEPTEMBER and my birthday is on Sept 14th :P