I couldn't ever forget that night in my life.
It had been raining and I was feeling rather restless. The place I stay has quite a few parks nearby and we tend to go for a walk in there every now and then . That night, my friends were all too engrossed in a daily soap and since I couldn't make sense of it anyway, I decided to go for a stroll…on my own.
In retrospect, that is arguably (one of) the (most) foolish things I've done but I can be really impulsive. Out came the blue umbrella and I set about the ritual of walking 30 steps to and another 30 fro - that was pretty much the whole of the broad but short street that I live in. All the while talking to my dad, sis and *ahem* a friend one after another. By the time the conversations ended, I'd made about 4 rounds. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I seem to have noticed that a stranger passed by in a two wheeler. Twice. The little voice told me - 'What if…??' Another louder voice cackled with suppressed laughter and said - 'Haha, cmon, as if the world has no other work than following you around. Get a grip, will ya?'
After bidding goodbye to the said friend, I switched on the radio and was tapping my feet to some song even as I walked by the huge houses on both sides of the road. It was still drizzling and I liked the thuddish sound made by the raindrops on the umbrella. I lost count of the number of times I'd trodden on the same path.
At one instant, instinctively, all my senses became uber-alert and in the next micro-instant, somebody had grabbed by a**.
Blood rushed to my face and I turned to see that two wheeler guy leering at me. He said something in a language alien to me but I understood it to mean 'Will you come?' as he was repeatedly gesturing the pillion seat.
The next instant, I had pulled away from him towards my left. I realized that since that was a 'residential' area, everybody was well inside their cozy home and no one would have noticed what was happening at the entrance to their homes let alone the streets! There was a car between me and the place where the guy stood. Luckily, still on the two-wheeler. I ran - my home was hardly ten steps away from where I stood but that felt like the longest journey I've had to make. I knew he was following, although a few feet away, on parallel. I rushed into the safety of my home and looked out of the window - he had parked his vehicle a little away from my home and was still staring at me. With that look in his eyes. I hope you understand.
There are some things which can only be felt…it's hard to explain.
I leaped into my room, thankfully unnoticed by my friends in the hall. Locked it and stood still. Hot tears came streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't accept the fact that I'd just been mistaken for a prostitute.
I couldn't come out of my room for the rest of the night. The next day, try as I might, I felt really awkward…and since I couldn't tell the truth to anybody, my friends found my mood swings quite weird.
At first, I couldn't understand it at all. I'd been dressed in a traditional chudidhar. I had even pinned my dupatta. How could he have mistaken me for a slut? Then, it hit me. This city is known for call girls dressed up in traditional salwar/sarees - I've seen them at times. And I had been roaming about all alone around 9:15pm…with a flashy umbrella. No wonder!
On the roads, I felt NAKED. I couldn't stand the sight of a single man. Even office felt burdensome. It took about a week for me to recover. And man, how have I changed! I don't loiter about late at nights. Else, I make sure I've someone to escort me back home - till the very entrance.
November 27, 2011
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3 comments:
This was more than just sexual abuse! How deeply it would've scarred you! These men, sometimes act like pigs! Really!
The world out there is cruel. It is better to be cautious, even paranoid to save ourselves. Do not relive the whole thing. It will make the whole thing worse. Take care and be brave!
MEN can be such "£$£"£", sorry .. you shud have picked a brick and thrown at him, or shrieked or shouted I am sure someone wud have heard but then .. these days no one helps anyone ..
bad bad world out there such men need to be SHOT ..
I hope you take care now be cautious of the surrounding always ..
Bikram's
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