***** The Craving *****

#NarayaniInPonderLust

Sometimes for sweets, sometimes for words,
The craving begins as a small itch that refuses to leave unheard.  

It stays within, clogged and heavy... swirling like a blocked chi with no vents...
While the mind continues to deal in mysterious ways, sometimes with brute force and at times, with pretense.

A scoop of caramel custard or a slice of lemon tart seduces the mind with its creamy flavours on one hand....
While a mug of hot choc or a slice of the decadent chocolate cake indulges in the tug of war unmanned!

But that is not what bothers a deviant mind the most....
For cravings are mere coping mechanisms the mind adopts to stall impending chaos...

While, the meandering thoughts continue to sprout new weeds of uncertainties in the head...
The rational mind struggles to bring the soul back with hope and faith & in good stead!

*** Envy - the arch nemesis ***

#NarayaniInPonderLust

Disillusionment is powerful.

More is the anger towards life and fate...

As often man forgets... his purpose could have been different...

Whilst he spent his precious life burning in envy to cage the elusive fame...

But as luck would have it,
the butterfly called success flutters with no agenda of her own...

As she jumps from one man to another...
She cares little about what emotions feed a life, distraught and forlorn...

It is not the absence of success that breaketh a man...but loss of purpose...
When man measures his goals with the purpose of another soul....

He brings down the kingdom of hell on Earth...
With all its devious army of minions and ghouls...

Envy is a termite that devours life with utmost relish...
While the life continues to ponder.... "why did fate play unfair...?"

Forgetting that every man has to bear his cross designed for his spine....
The disturbed man continues to walk in circles not realizing - Truth bleeds regardless of who cares...

***** Empathy : A lost virtue *****

Empathy, the maiden virtue of all times...

The most sought after and least respected of all..

Its presence is neither acknowledged  nor celebrated...

But its absence brings down the world on its knees, with a mighty fall!

Did they say - Blood is thicker than water...??

And that, empathy is inevitable when blood is a connection...??

Just then, exceptions come along to render blood worthless...

And that, blood is nothing but a coloured water, a wasted sentiment...a useless emotion...!

As self wonders, what kind of apathy must eat a man of the above kind?

Who measures his connections based on status, money and clout?

That he cleaves off connections he was born with....

With absolutely no pain or remorse?

Humble beginnings are underrated always...

For none wants to acknowledge the roots...

But time is such a wheel of whim...

When the call comes, it brings one down on his boots!

Currencies, clouts and shallow connections are passing  clouds of dew...

That feel good and soothing for a while until the weather changes its moods...

Never turn your face away from your roots, is what ancestors whisper each day...

For roots is what shall hold you firm through tides and storms, come what may!

*** The idea of Justice ***

The idea of justice is hard hitting and crude..

But, the way it unfolds is always a wait that be endured by a strong few...

The wronged ones live with an unsavoury acceptance of an elusive justice...

While the ones that wrong continue to push their luck through loopholes and well spun lies...

What is allowed is what will continue, a reprimand that sings aloud after every landslide of the just and fair....

Some rules must change to question everything loose lest the hope for the just becomes threadbare...

Luck and time, the poker faced pawns of destiny be flirty and ruthless at the same time...

But, push them a tad too much and they jump to zero from the cat's lives nine!

However, the wicked never regret their actions or, the consequences that follow..

For that is how they have risen by stepping on graves with a conscience, rotting and hollow...

The onus lies on ones that let the wrong slide by unquestioned....

For the morally neutral spectators do more evil By consciously averting the attention...

"Will justice prevail?", is an elusive question of the hour...

"It will", says the Universe in the future, near or far!

***** How easy, how difficult? *****

#NarayaniInPonderLust

To express freely and unapologetically, as one feels like...
Is every life's gift ever since it's born....
The freedom to be oneself with no inhibitions...
Brings along a courage to face everything known unknown..

When a baby hurls its toys across in a sheer expression of 'self',
All in the world capture the moment through captivating words and, 'larger than life' lens...
However, the little life grows up naively owning the freedom as it's right...
Little knowing that freedom is a rubix cube filled with many hushed silences and penance...

For later, an honest "I don't like.....", is chided and, replaced with a pretense suppressing dissent...."ofcourse, I like..."
Which again later manifests into diabetically sweet lie, "Ofcourse, I love...."
While the integrity of words begin to rot under the tyranny of social conditioning and dictum..
The soul now struggles to comprehend where it must stand up, and where, must bow!

"How easy, how difficult" will be a daunting question for eternity...
For we are all the choices we make, not all of them happy and sane....
But then there is no right or wrong when it comes to choices,
For diversions on roads are merely detours..., be it right or left, you take!

That said, every direction to action comes with a consequence...
An uninvited guest or, a pleasant visitor that it can choose to be...
It is always the courage of conviction or, the shame of what comes after that....
That decides how far a soul has come along, at helm of arrogance or, down on one's knees!

#PoeticMusings

You are not good enough!

"You are not good enough", the lady heard the lines, a hundred times...
But, NEVER in words or actions but in, accusatory whines and condescending jibes!

What was she NOT good at?, she pondered over and over....
Perhaps, not clearing away the dining table clutter or, the heap of clothes on the side for a week, yet to be folded....

Declutter, declutter....the words now haunt her day and night....
For she wants to now run away from home and routine, to some strange land out of sight!

Bereft of what she expects are the words 'care' and 'respect' !
She now feels like a deflated soul reduced to a role of some disposable help!

In what words could she explain that, she too would love to have tea served to her, once in a blue moon?
For she now feels her culinary skills are anything but a boon!

Fresh food on the table, fresh clothes for the family, clean bathrooms and, timely beverages at call.. 
"But aren't they her duties?", and the human brain begins nitpicking the unfinished tasks, that are conveniently gargantuan and tall!

"You will never be good enough!", the voice has changed from outside to inside...
As she munches on a half burned toast with tears of shame and, a tattered pride!

But now, she knows what she shall allow is what will continue....
As she wipes those tears of hurt, feeling strengthened and new!

Respect is earned, they say...but then, so is love!
Now, she must make sure that others know that too, steady and slow!

Take care of her in the way she seeks!
And you will get her back in the way you dream!

Pregnant fears

Realizing too many blessings at times is overwhelming...
For fear of losing them is as strong and unrelenting..

Sometimes, the realization helps better by keeping the feet on the ground...
But at times, it also weakens the core with pregnant fears that make the mind morose and unsound...

People say, get over your fears...for fear is a sign of weakness...
But will they ever know, how much it takes to not let the unknown demons from the mind's harness?

Mind, a contorted abyss can never be explained in mere words of Math and Science...
Even as humans claim to know it all about the submissive body and the unrestrained mind....

While words set me free for a while, I wonder....where do these pregnant fears stem from?
The answers, I believe are linked with my life' purpose, a pandora box of soothing shores and raging storms!

Maybe, pregnant fears follow me for a reason....
To see the unseen, to feel the unfelt...to hear the unsaid...while sailing through every season!

The Thing called Hurt

Words and emotions are two sides of a coin...
For they rarely walk in tandem, without crossing the line...

When awkward silences are left unhealed....
Hurt manifests like a demon with glee...

And then, when even a small disagreement goes awry...
A can of ugly confrontations hurts the ears and eyes...

How words and actions are perceived, will remain an unsolved mystery....
For minds are universes with intangible galaxies of brewing thoughts and feelings...

Maybe that is why, they say silence is golden when words of hurt embolden....
For silence may not weed out the hurt but, perfectly camouflages the weight of sadness, a formidable burden...

But, even as silence stalls the conflicting emotions and anger from spewing out...
The inevitable truth of unresolved issues will someday, like a canary, sing aloud....

Which is why, words must be filtered before they leave the tongue...
For nothing can repair the impact of hurt, once the words have been flung!

#NarayaniInPonderLust

#PoeticMusings

Roots : the unseen anchors

#NarayaniInPonderLust

Somewhere in this journey of life, a lot of events got buried in the Chest called the Past!

For Time & Tide wait for none and, the ride from the Present now seems quite Fast!

Is it those flaccid years of unrespiteful challenges or, years of overrated fun?

It is difficult to choose for life is an unpredictable pun!

To soar high and fly or, to stay rooted for life?

The choice is unsettling in the Destiny's roll of dice!

But then, there comes a time when the need to return back to roots arrives...

And then, the truth dawns that for every step away from roots, there tags along a heavy price!

Appeasement : the eighth sin

#NarayaniInPonderLust

#PoeticMusings

Enough was never enough and, never will be.......
For, greed is a madness that spreads like a plague with a wicked glee!

But, irony strikes midway and, reminds why respect is missing from the scene.....
And then, with all platters filled with accolades, respect seems to be one elusive queen!

The more it is sought with vengeance, the more it evades....
After all, truth is raw and crass and is always delivered in spades!

To stop chasing respect and, start earning it, is the only way....
Because, NO amount of appeasement and arrogance can ever make it stay!

Threshold

You are NOT often surrounded by those you would want to choose....
As life sits back, with some popcorn on how you maintain your threshold and, play your ruse!

Such are those moments when you  feel morose and, completely let down...
Because your tryst with your destiny is sailing on a trough, rough and forlorn...

So, you question the Universe , "Why do you hurl at me, the bad eggs everyone despise....?"
While the realization dawns within..that such meetings great or otherwise, are sly chances in the massive roll of the unpredictable dice!

So, you sit and gulp down the dejection and disgust, waiting patiently for some change in the winds...
The same rut and routine continue to manifest in all shades of mundane and, all depressing prints...

The wait therefore begins for the ugly knock on the threshold line.. because there is a lot of anger held at bay...
Once the line is crossed, the games shall change and, every linen will be out on the fray!

"Don't meddle with thresholds of fine people", the wise men say...
Breaching their thresholds is sacrilege as the time shall come for the perpetrators to pay....

Threshold is not to be crossed or touched....., a word of caution to the free flowing winds.....
Because, every one out there is answerable for his great deeds and, infamous sins....

Hope, great positions embrace more of those with character, integrity, humility and intellect..
So that, the motivation to tread the journey uphill burns bright and optimistic in all the generations that line up next..

We are all the children of Time

Every second, every instant is a strange colour invented by Time..
That comes with a hidden herring in red - Never cross that line!

When the instant arrives, one always assumes he is ready...
But, that is when the tables turn making him unsteady...

While the stairs towards success change strength and sides
Moments of bleak let the hope and faith glide...

And, at some point during the distress call....
One sees along many... testimony to - 'Pride goes before a fall!'

'Moment of epiphany' is what they call it?
Which awakens the soul that lies helpless at the bottom of the pit?

And, in that second it dawns...that
There is no written manual to manouevre the machine called Time..
Because Time never cautions us before we just step over the line!

But, that is how humans are, partly naive and, partly clever....
Impulses are strong as they command...it is - now or never!

Because there is a lot to let go and, a lot to embrace..
After all, Vices and virtues are two halves of the same mysterious face..

The thing called arrogance!

I watch with attention, the arrogant crowd.
Because they teach you all about life..
With empathy almost empty and, apathy too loud,
They expose you to the ugly world of strife...

They continue to make mistakes, one after the other...
Not knowing when to stop.....
Because ambitions are way too blinding, full of stupor....
That they deliriously chase to save their conniving plot!

With every passing day, I watch the arrogance reach new heights
As they gloat with glee, crossing over every mine they set for others, in order to succeed....
But, time is a strange thing to fight...
Because, it reserves its special rewards regardless of caste and creed..  

I watch with rapt attention now at how high they crave to fly...
And, I look forward to what happens next when they ascend the greatest Himalayan heights...
Will the tyrants reign, or 'eat the humble pie'?
Every life, I learn, good or bad, is indeed a lesson in disguise!

Words from a ponderlusting girl.....

Words are such powerful daggers...
They cut deep into the heart and soul...
Hurt, Angst, fear and anger....
Creep into the being like ghastly ghouls....

Sometimes self sits and ponders....
Why should silence be a reply to all trolls?
And then, a voice nudges from the yonder...
Correcting arrogance is not your goal!

But then, the crass words continue to bother....
Creating in the heart, countless chaotic holes...
Will the heart continue to take in all the banter??
To which the voice silently whispers...."your life, a mystery is yet to unfold...'

The sailor named She.

A million storms erupt within her

while the face continues to play stoic as ever…..

Woes, fears and the many intangibles of destiny

persistently plague her with all alacrity….

Expectations and disappointments continue to play her mind

while SHE struggles through each day with sources of fresh hope to find…..

As the chores of the grind seem to keep her busy as a bee

though the nights bring along the countless pregnant fears in absolute fury!

With no respite from the concurrent deluge of worries….

Her mind is tired and, so is her body….

And, the rogue tides of health continue to play havoc

but, prayers and good wishes pitch in to brave the tides, steady though slow…..

SHE looks above and wonders - Life is a book with pages in black and white…..

One page the destiny doodles while the other page we write……

Only that we do now know which is which…..

Until, the time comes and unveils its predictably unpredictable pitch….

Yet, SHE continues to adjust the sails of her ship….

Because the fight is a must even if the foe is another iceberg tip…..

In the life that gave her more storms than sun shines…..

SHE musters all courage with hope and faith to steer the Black Pearl of her life…..

Victory be hers!

More power to her!

May the Universe shower all glory on her!

P.S: This poem is dedicated to all those women who silently survive each day with a never ending verve to live. 

Test of Time !

This is not how it was meant to be or how I had imagined it would be. It was all supposed to be happy and nice and if not this then it wasn’t even supposed to be this traumatizing. It was love at first sight. I didn’t know who you were but I wanted to know. For you I didn’t even exist at the time I was falling for you. How can somebody feel so much of attraction for the other without even knowing them.

We became friends and then something more than friends. I was scared. Every single person aware of this drama of ours had warned me to maintain a safe distance from you. ‘You will get hurt. You will end up crying in whatever this thing of yours is called’ – were some of the words. I still listened to my heart and ignored the brain.

“Do you have a girlfriend ?”, I asked several times and below are the replies presented in chronological order in appearance in due time.

1. Mundane Silence

2. Who are you to ask me that

3. Bitch

4. Didn’t you know everything that now you are doing drama every other day about it

I gave you everything. I was honest with my feelings. If you would have told me in first place that you have a girlfriend, I would have maintained my distance from you. I am not someone who would try to snatch you from another girl. Neither do I have those skills nor do I know tactics to do that. But I expected you to be honest with me as well in return. And now that you ask me is too much for me to handle. 

You want to be in my life till the point you want and in the way you want and then when the time comes for you to be with your girl, you don’t want me to utter a single word and just watch you leave to marry her. And before that end point you want me to be normal and let everything go as if it’s only us and nothing else. How do I do that? Why am I in such a situation? How do I behave normal and be all friendly and everything else with you when I know I mean nothing to you? 

In my dreams I see you marrying her and me being alone for the rest of my life. I see the that as the future and this is not how I had imagined it to be!

Things words do !

I am so tired

Out of energy

I feel like crying - I feel sick

Wanna go home and sleep

Wish I had my mom next to me

Taking care of her girl

---------------------------------------------

Ping Pong - the phone was ringing

Few words to turn pain into smiling

Strange but true , this is what you make things do

"How's your health", 'that's all I wanna know'
were all the words to make pain go!

Bionic Superhumans and Pocket money- Musings on Mother's day

My son and I were watching Phineas and Ferb cartoon on Netflix together.Suddenly he looked at me and said, "You know none of this can be real , right Amma?". They had been learning fiction and non -fiction in school and I tried to bring in those concepts as I replied. Of course this is fiction, it is an imaginary story. I'm sure kids like them would not be able to build such complicated things so easily. So is the other TV show with bionic humans",  referring to a sci-fi comedy that we all watched called Lab Rats which had  3 bionic children as its main protagonists. To which he indignantly replied , "Bionic humans are not fiction, I'm quite sure science is very close to humans having bionic chips and implants, may be they have already done it somewhere."  Before I could get another word in he got back to the topic

"I mean , I can totally get that they are super smart and able to create roller coasters , what I can't understand is , how would they ever get the money to build those things" ,he mused. Personally I had not thought of that as an impediment and to foster debate , suggested that may be Phineas and Ferb's parents were very rich and they gave them a lot of pocket money. At this he started laughing loudly and said "Amma you don't get it , no parents would give kids so much pocket money. It has to be fiction."

I chuckled to myself.We live in an age where super smart children and bionic super humans are close to reality. But thankfully parents are still parents and children receiving huge amounts in pocket money is still fiction.

Many times , we tend to forget that our children live in a world far more advanced than we can comprehend and seeing it through their curious eyes is a gift to cherish.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

P.S : It does look like bionic humans are coming for real.
http://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/13/elon-musk-humans-merge-machines-cyborg-artificial-intelligence-robots.html

Closed...What you had opened!

I closed

what you opened

I had to close

What you opened

My heart bleeding

Sliced by your lies

My arteries 

Cut by your false promises

Blood kept flowing

No attempt made to stop it

I tried not to get hurt

Yet no bandaid ever surfaced

You are nice

So am I

Maybe thats the reason why

I had to die

Praise

Once in a while

Everybody needs praise

Praise in the form of words

Praise in the form of care

It need not be precious gift of words

Just a simple nice word will do

It need not be an expensive gift

Just some time to spare will do

It need not be extravagant act

Just a tight hug will do

As once in a while

everybody needs praise !