I wish...

"Why do so many uncles come home every night ma?"


"So that I can feed you and fulfill all your wishes kanna.."


"But...why are all these uncles coming so late in the night?? ...appa is working no ma to fulfill all our wishes?" 


"Go... go play outside kanna.. don't ask so many questions.. " 


She watched her son run to play gully cricket with his friends and was lost in her own world...she saw a young girl selling flowers on the other side of the street with someone who probably was her mother...

Tears swelled up in her eyes... it brought back the memories which were still afresh... 5 years... it had been Five years since that incident.. 

"Appa! apppaaa! appaaa... See amma's not making me pakodas.. I reallllyyy want to eat them appaaaa.. tell ma to make no appaaa.. plleeeaaseee"
"Saaavitriii! Why aren't you making pakodas for charu?? she's literally craving for them.. Make it for her savii"
She looked at her husband and their daughter.. A man who was a hero in their daughter's life and a villain in hers... She had no one to go to and had given into him completely... She had pleaded for her life when he had first brought his drunk friends home one night and he had watched her getting raped and laughed at her helplessness.. She had threatened to run away after that incident and he had kept her under house arrest... she was literally helpless.. she thought of committing suicide but the thought of leaving their young 2 year old daughter in the hands of a sadist had shut out all thoughts of leaving her alone behind in the 'bad' world...

After that night, Prakash started getting more and more of his 'friends' home on one pretext or the other and this time, since he had lost his job, this was his only way of income...
His wife pleaded him.. begged him to not to do that to her.. her pleas fell on deaf ears... she had no other go, she surrendered to him completely...
The birth of their son dwindled the no. of men Prakash brought home and this gave a ray of hope to Savitri that her husband mite change...
But as both their children started growing up, Prakash found a new 'house' for the 'special nights'...
Her hopes of Prakash changing into a 'good' person was shattered...

"Ri... Our Charu will be turning 14 in another few days... I want to buy some clothes and jewellery for her.. Can you give me some money??"
"Haan haa.. Buy her good clothes from that new big shop... i don't want that tailor touching my daughter from now on..." 
She was surprised by her husband's behaviour... what had she done to deserve the fate of sleeping with other men? why had god given her such a fate?... She was happy at least her husband was protective towards their daughter..


"Chhaaaru.. Happy birthday! ...May god fulfill all your wishes kanna... Go freshen up and wear the new clothes"
"Thank you ma and appa.. :).. i'll go rite away!"


"Saavvvi!! I'm taking Charu to the temple.. We'll be back soon!"
She wished she could have gone too.. damn! her monthly timing..

" Paaa.. Why are we going this way??? This route is longer no pa?"
" No chaaru kutty.. this is actually a short cut... "
"But paa.. its very lonely here..."
The next minute, Charu was being dragged into the bushes and couldn't understand why her loving pa would do something like that..din't he realise he was hurting her by all that dragging??
She screamed and screamed as she felt a sharp pain down there and knew something was wrong.. she felt the hairy body leave her soft lean built... Without even thinking, she ran... she ran for her life.. she din't run home this time.. she ran for her life.. That was the last time Savitri ever saw Charu...

"Whyy?? why did you have to do this to her??? your own daughter?!!! how could you??? You bastard!!!"
The next thing she knew, her body could feel the hotness from the firewood on her leg and she withered with pain on the ground...
She had no one to help around except for her younger son Saran, who kept asking where his akka had gone to and all she could do is hug him...
She was glad that Prakash had left or so she had thought.. her leg burn had been so severe that she could hardly move around the house, let alone leave the wretched house...
Her nightmares returned when Prakash came back after a week and his 'friends' started increasing... she was helpless again... she had decided to take in what fate throws at her...

The tears continued to flow... she wondered where her daughter was.. how she was.. What did she look like...She din't wanna think her daughter was not in this world anymore..


Savitri was glad her daughter had,had the courage to run away and hoped she had a better life somewhere... she was glad her daughter had escaped from the clutches of the 'sadist hero'.. She wished she had, had the courage to escape from the clutches of the bastard... she jus wished.... she wondered what else life was gonna throw at her and her son.... She hoped he wouldn't turn out to be like his father... the small ray of hope for a better future - that's what she saw in her son...

******

Its all about the choice.. Its all inside you.. Your either make your life or break it...

P.S : This is a work of semi-fiction... and its pretty much the first time i'm writing something like this..

If The Street Dog Barks And Escapes, Do Not Mind.

“Don’t go deep into the waves. Be at the shore only. Okay!” Her mother told her as she nodded uninterestingly. She was on a trip with her younger sister and parents and with two more families. There was a lot of hustle-bustle and jovialness on the beach as it was New Year time. She was wearing black shorts and a simple yellow coloured tee. Her family along with the other two families were at a distance from her. Of Course, she missed her friends on the trip but being a free-spirited and a beach lover at heart, she did not skip a chance to take pleasure in the same.

The sea breeze made her lose hair dance angelically. She wanted to go into the waters and she did but remained close to the periphery. She loved when waves swayed her backwards and forth. She smiled and took a step further. Around her were a few sluggish looking boys who had all eyes on her. She noticed once but did not gaze.

And just as she took another step towards the deep waters a huge wave rose and stroked her down so bad that it took her some time to regain consciousness and come to the surface. What happened in those few minutes cleaved her soul real bad. With water in her nose and mouth, she could barely breathe. She splashed her hands and legs frantically just to realise somebody’s hand inside her tee and pressing her breasts. She tried to relieve herself from the gruesome feel on her body as the hands slowly went towards her neck and pulled her and kissed her. She was in a helpless state.

She could not shout in the waters. She could not use her strength in the waters. The pressure of the wave was so intense that she could not come up to the surface instantly. The water was salty and she could not open her eyes to see the devil who committed the hideous act on her. All she could do was regain her physical and mental stability and come out of the waters as quickly as possible.

After she rose up, it was hard for her to conceive what has happened minutes ago. A loud scream echoed inside her head. She looked around and tried to identify the evil spirited. Her eyes stopped at the same group of boys and this time they were laughing and giggling among themselves with their eyes fixed on her. She ran to her family but did not tell anything to anyone. Simple reason: She felt it would be a shame for her parents to know that her daughter was molested by some douche bag whom she could not even recognize. She maintained composure and indulged herself in other activities so that her face doesn’t show the image of the burnt embers of her soul and make others worry.

The shocking experience left her body and spirit flush with anger, helplessness and fear. It etched a scar in her memory which she could not delete but could bury. And that’s what she did. She buried the incident deep in her mind.

She was molested but it was not her choice. She did not let that incident be an impediment on her way and yes, it was her choice.

*******

The presence of diseases like eve teasing, molestation, sexual abuses etc is inevitable. They are there in the society and they will always be. We cannot eradicate them. We can only fight back or take precautions. I know there are times when we cannot do any goddamn thing and are left with the only option i.e., to bear silently.

I remember once when I was in 11^th or 12^th grade. My school got over and I with two of my girl friends, was walking towards my home (my school shared the adjoining wall with my home). We were chatting and laughing all the way and I was on the side of the road while my friends were on the inner side. When we were almost half way to our places, two thug looking creatures came on a bike and the one sitting behind slapped on my shoulder and went away giving me a silly smirk. Thank god it was the cold season and I was wearing a coat and thank god that man (It’s a sheer disgrace to call him a man!) I mean that bastard missed the spot (and you know where he intended to hit). But I was an immature and was really taken aback by the incident so much so that I did not attend the school next day.

Anyway, the crux is, like my mother once told me that almost every girl faces such things at least once in her life. What matters is how we deal with situations. Do we sit back like cowards and curse our fate or do we learn to fight back whenever possible and not let such creatures mess up with our sanity. If you can do something about the said diseases then do it. If you cannot (like in my situation or the above girl's situation) then do not let it spoil your present and future. Also, good and evil are all our creations. Both are here in this world and this is the reason we cannot escape the evil.

So girls, do not let anyone hamper your dignity. Do not let the Shakti within you be subordinate to any shameless creature (Oh! How I love calling them creatures). Street dogs are meant to be in the streets and not in our lives. It is your life and your rules work. Be Aware and Be Strong!

P.S: The story written above is not a piece of fiction.

_______________________

Okay darlings, I have got a brand new song for you all. I loved it the first time I heard it which means yesterday. It's from the latest album of Coldplay (one my favorite bands). Hope you all like it.

And just look at the video. Isn't it out-of-this-world? =)

Is it ME????

WARNING: Unsually(unusual for me) long post ahead. I'm sorry, wouldn't be doing justice if I tried to shorten it. I skim through long posts, won't blame you if you did it too.

Lemon yellow dress with baby-pink frills....A bag with some kittens drawn over it(she lacked cats back then too)..a yellow cap to go with dress and yellow pumps to match the cap....she looked cute in her attire with those stuffed cheeks and sparkling eyes...she pouted a little, she wanted mommy to buy her yellow gloves also so that she could look like 'Baby Shamali' in her latest movie. Mommy, Tushara akka and her were going to central Mangalore from gran's place to have 'Gadbad' at 'Shetty Icecreams'. They took the inter city bus; it was crowded and mommy had to stand. She was given place to sit between an uncle and aunty...after some stops aunty left and another uncle came sat next to her, who made her sit on his lap; she didn't mind all her uncles would always either put her on their lap or around their shoulders. Mommy got a place some where in front and akka was somewhere lost in the crowd. It was a hot April day and everybody was busy in their own world. Uncle started patting me first, and then moved slowly up until he reached where it hurt. She squirmed and called out for Mommy, but her voice was stifled in the crowd. She sat still, ignoring uncle's fingers' for 7 minutes, 7 longest minutes of her life and then her stop came. As she got down, she could feel uncle sneering at her back; she didn't understand what just happened but she held Mommy tightly after that. She was 4 and a half then.

Mom would work till 7 and her school would get over at 3. Dad would drop her back home after school and go to work, second shift. She would be locked inside till mom came at 7, after which it was too late to go outside. A new family moved in next door and they had 3 kids in the family, the youngest boy just a year older than her.  They started playing through the window in her balcony and  Dad started allowing her to stay at the neighbours place after school till Mommy came back. The boy had an elder brother who would come join them in their games sometimes. One day the younger boy was late from school and the elder one offered to teach a new game. He warned that it's a game for big children and she would get hurt. She was a tomboy then and didn't want to look weak. She agreed. He took her to the attic made her lie down, said things in her ears, and then did things to her. She was uncomfortable and she asked him to stop. But he taunted her saying she was being a pussy. She didn't want to be made fun of by the boys later so she went along. This happened everytime they were alone, sometimes he would tie her up, sometimes ask her to make noises and sometimes just sit and stare. She began to sense that it wasn't really a game which all kids played and she stopped visiting the neighbours. The locked house felt safer, much safer back then. They moved in some time and she has never seen them again. He was 20 and she was 10 years old.

She had grown to distrust men. She was never close to Mommy and Dad worked at odd times. She felt she would be an extra burden to them if she spoke out loud. Every neighbour seemed to be a creep in some way. Some tried to forcefully kiss her. some felt her up, some would ask her out and when turned down would make life miserable for her. When she tried speaking to Mommy about it once, Mommy said at this rate we would have to lie down on the rail way tracks and kill ourselves. This was after an incident happened with her cousin. She then decide to bottle it up all inside her. She would constantly ask herself  'What have I done to deserve all this....can I not be left in peace...Whose fault is all this? Are the others degenerates or is it me? '. She had her board exams and couldn't spare much thought for all this then. She would go up on her terrace to study in the evenings, she liked studying out loud and couldn't do it in her room. One day she found a note dropped on her terrace, vulgar pictures and some obscene writings were in it, she burnt it lest Mommy should find it. Next week she found a used condom thrown. She gagged but had to dispose of it before anybody else saw it. She had no idea who was behind it but it had begin to bother her. One day as she sat studying for her Physics finals she heard somebody call out her name, when she turned towards the source, she found a naked man, shagging off to glory at his window which looked down on her terrace. She was numb for a minute not knowing what to do, she fled downstairs the next instant. Every other time she went upstairs and was alone, the pervert would get his jollies in the same manner. She tried to ignore him but the episode had scalded her badly. After one day of persitsant cat calls she had had enough and went to confront her tormentor. This man had a daughter of 3 years and a gullible wife. She was torn, imagine the plight of the poor wife, but she knew she couldn't let this go on. She yelled at him in front of others, told the wife exactly what kind of a monster she was living with. The family left in a month, but not the horrors. She was 16 then.

By know she had learnt to take stock of her situation and handle it better, if not in the best way. She punched those who got too close to her, publicly humiliated those who thought they could get away with advances, sexual or otherwise, and never let her younger sister out of her sight. She had grown stronger and had learnt to make new friends, even guys. She moved to a co-ed, did everything she could to come out of her shell. She managed it. She rebelled coz the society wouldn't spare her if she didn't, she took a firm stand even if she was the only one who stood against the odds. Things seemed to be under control  until Final year engineering. She started getting weird calls at odd times, horrendous messages and mails and she had no clue what was happening.After sometime one of her friends told her that a fake ORKUT profile had been created with her pics, number and mail ID. The profile was that of a professional call girl. Again she thought 'IS IT ME? What got to her most was the pics from her actual profile contained pics of her friends too, which were morphed and obscene titles added to each. When the calls started bothering her to an extent that it started affecting her final year exams, she decided it was time to take action. She couldn't change her number, she had just filled out some forms, where the only reference was her cell number. She took the matter to the cyber cops. They told her off initally saying 'you should have known better than to put up your pics on a social networking site'. She wouldn't take no for an answer so went to the papers. An article in a Bangalore daily about the callousness of the cyber cops got them active and kicking. The site kept coming back, even after it was closed down several times; the actual perpetrator has never been found, though she has a hunch who it might be( If she ever meets that guy again he would lose more than just his vital organs). She was 22 then.

Nothing terrible has happened to her since then,  mainly because she hasn't let anything happen to her. She wears her skirts and shorts, regardless of the cat calls and lecherous eyes, she make no compromise for the sake of the porkis of the world. Doesn't mean she invites trouble willingly, there is always a shawl to drape her self and a pocket knife to protect herself!!! Things happened, they happened to her. Today she believes that if they hadn't happen she would have never been the strong, confident woman she is today. Maybe that many things didn't have to happen, but she couldn't control it then. So yes she now knows the answer to 'IT IS ME? ' cause she had it in her to take the potholes in her life and turn them into the milestones of her life!!!

I haven't written this as a confession because it isn't that. I haven't written this to heal myself because a part of me is never going to be that. I haven't written this for sympathy either, I din need it then, don't need it now. When the topic for this month's discussion was put up, the only thing that struck a chord me in what Maith wrote was this "Your story might just help someone undergoing similar situation.. ". I do hope it helps somebody today and continues to help somebody else tomorrow. I chose to write in the 3rd person since it's me as I see through my eyes, almost as if looking at a stranger. I'm a different person today, I've crossed the barrier, walked through the fire and emerged as the dragon I am today and I have nobody else to thank for that, but me, which is the best part of it all :D. People usually think that abused victims turn all messed up in the head; I'm crazy and silly as hell ,but I know without a doubt that my heads' where it should be...on my neck ;). Not many are this lucky though, some remain scarred for life. Yes it is me that I talk about above, but it wasn't me that caused all that to happen to me, I had to realize that myself to stop punishing myself. But it sure was me who chose put an end to it. Our life isn't determined by our abilities, it's defined by the choices we make!!!

If you chose to suffer in silence, you will do just that: SUFFER. If you stand up for your rights, I don't guarantee that you won't suffer but at least you won't wallow in self pity and worst of all self loathing. Today I don't let even a fly invade my privacy, but I'm also not a stuck-up old woman. With so many things in my past, I have trust issues, who wouldn't, I have a collective dislike to all men-kind and treat offense as my best defence. Yet all my best friends are guys and most guys love having me around them because I take even the most sexist joke in my stride, I know exactly where to draw boundaries and most importantly I value human relationships a lot. (It also helps that my confidence and devil-may-care attitude adds to the charm but I'm not here to boast about my hotness am I :P ;) :P). I don't generalize, which helps me a lot, otherwise I'd be left in and island where the ghosts of my past would haunt me forever. It's not my intention to preach, just hope somebody wills to take a leaf outta my book. Look around you, there are umpteen examples of abuse everywhere. Do your bit to help if not stop it; It doesn't have to always been blood-shed sometimes a silent tear might also help whilst other times a shoulder to lean on might work wonders.

Remember it is you and you alone who is responsible for your choices, choose them wisely!

P.S. : I've been MIA for so long, I couldn't even write about last months topic , which I really wanted to :(. Have been sick and down with dust allergy. Hopefully this month is better!

P.P.S: I wrote this with a steady hand, which means I must be growing up...:D...but I do hope nobody was offended by the content or the language. Maith wanted it to be true and tried to make it as true as I could at each stage in life.

P.P.P.S: FL, I have something lined up for you as well. Just wish my fingers would shrink back to their original size, after which I can dish it out, and then you can get back at Paani Puri lover and me together OK? :P :P :P.

For the love of Shorts! :)

Even though its the season of woolens and mittens and warm clothing, the Bangalore weather keeps changing each and every day!! one day its literally raining cats and dogs and you prepare yourself for the rain the next day and you're given a bright sunny friggin hot day!!!

and today was one such day... all the shorts were packed and pushed deep into the cupboard until summer time and it was pulled out today and bam! i realize its time to make a trip to the parlour.... :|

Waxing!! its literally a nightmare only! :|.. you may ask why not use a razor or hair removal cream and trust me, after what happened, i'd rather sit through the painful waxing!.. the hair removal cream darkened my skin like crrraazzy and gave me weird red patches!! Initially  when i had started using those creams,nothing really happened and over time, i did noticed darkening of my skin and i thought it was due to the sun exposure but one random trip to a parlour during which i told the parlour lady about darkening of the skin, she asked me if i'm using a razor or hair removal cream and when i told her, she asked me to stop using them.. apparently, i wasn't the only one.. (that was a relief!) and she asked me to start waxing ( by the look on my face, she knew i had never ever tried it before.. ) and that was the first day i 'tried' and trust me she literally gave me a look of 'Don't.ever.come.back.to.my.parlour' (i'm glad none of the glass stuff broke there! ) and thank god for the other lady out there who took pity on me and coaxed me to jus get it over with and not let go half way... and from then, she's the only one who attends to me every time.. :P ... I jus wish we girls din't have to go through all this and enjoy wearing all the cute shorts and skirts ( but the thought of wearing them on hairy legs does sound 'eww' to me.. ) ...
Only and only for the love of shorts, i literally drag myself to the parlour (i'm waaay to scared to try it at home ) oh man! I wonder if that pumice stone + that mysterious mix i've been reading about on random sites actually work for that 'smoooth' body...
I wonder what the guys would do if they had to go through all these... its okay for them to show off their hairy legs eh? argh!

Google image

*siiigh* i think its worth those painful waxing session for those smooth legs... :) and the darkened skin is almost back to my normal skin colour :).. 

What do you guys do?? 

Mistake

Everything was going fine but then I did this mistake!

I told a Guy that I like him just to listen back that he doesn't feels that way for me.

We had been going out, doing a lot of stuff together. A lot of personal talks and stuff had happened.

I developed this feeling and thought he too had developed this but is waiting to know how and what I feel for him.

And then this very day when I told my closest friend about all the stuff he do to me, I was kinda frustrated as to why I had been hiding this from him.

And I did the mistake to tell him that.

A Girl should never ever say what she feels before she is approached by a Guy!

That's Indian mentality. Be live it or not, but this is what still works and this is what failed me!

So darlings, please learn to be on the safer side.

He asked me not to change. But does he really thinks so?

I lied on his face not to feel awkward roaming around with him, but seriously, am I not hurt or is it that I am just that shameless girl to confront any other guy saying that I like him!

Things will change and have changed!

For the better or the worst, I don't know. :)

And the problem is, this guy has done a lot of things for me, a lot so I just can't be indifferent with him now, I can't just hurt him, that would be the worst things I will ever do, I just can't afford to loose him as a friend.
But whether I say it or not. I am hurt, my self respect is! I just now belong to category of those girls in his life, where the girl likes him but he just don't! And never will! 
Why is this all so complicated and hard to live with!

P.S. Maithili, I am leaving blogger world for sometime, so won't be posting much here. But will keep up with the mandatory posting thing :)

Rewards of my current obsession

Hello all,

Just wanted to share the post I did on my blog with all of you, since it was about most of you. :)

It all started with Spaceman Spiff. A month or so ago, I was just going through my blogroll, loyally checking if any of the blogs have any updates even though if they had not got updated for the past few months. From Vineeth's The unabridged Version of Life, I hit on Spaceman Spiff's Senseless Sense? Or Sensible Nonsense?. Lo and Behold, I hit upon a mother lode of blog-o-treasures to read, read and read more. From there, my journey has never ended. So, I present here some awesome bloggers, whose blogs I hit upon recently, each as priceless as the next. Tada.

Spaceman Spiff : As already mentioned, the start of my journey. I really get lost in the tangles of her posts. Captivating, mesmerizing her posts are. Once you start, everyday you will want nothing more than a post from her.

PeeVee™ : Mind-boggling writer that she is, her every post touches a chord inside you somewhere, somehow. The chocolate-obsessed makes readers from all over the world obsessed with her blog.

Kalpak : The noises that his empty vessel makes are sure to make you go rolling on your floor, clutching your stomach, tears of laughter running down your face. I was just following his blog silently, until today. Made my first comment there and headed to post about him here. :)

Maithili : She doesn't stop with just One Such Story, but continues to write heart-stopping, beautiful stories. It is because of her that we got Darlings of Venus, the next on my list. And it is because of her, I got to know so many bloggers. I owe you one big hug, Maithili. *hugs*.

Darlings of Venus : A bunch of female bloggers pitching in to make an awesome recipe of posts that present you all the flavours of life. I just love the blog name and its speciality is the variety it gives you. I am proud to say that I am a member. (A single native of Mars- The FreeLancer, got caught among the Darlings of Venus and he is holding up pretty good, I would say :P )

Mystical Skeptical Me : As mystical and skeptical as she is, MSM's posts never fail to make you go open-mouthed in awe and wonder and you will find it hard to come to normal again.

Meoww : So crazy about cats that she chose her pen-name as meoww, hailing all the madness in the world, this sweet girl will give you the touch of childish madness that everyone longs for. So honest in her writing, you do not feel like reading a blog. Instead, you feel like you are actually listening to her talk. You would never want the post to end.

There are a lot more of blogs that I have read recently like Pannipuri Lover's Sanely Insane, Sumitra's iThink, iBlog, Viya's A peek into my life and so on.. Just that I have not found enough time to dig the rest of these blogs. :( I am working on it :)

Now people, go to each of these blogs, enjoy and then come back and thank me :)

Until later,

Keirthana :)

A Beautiful Lie !

"And then I thought of letting it go. It doesn't matters much in my life now", she continued.
"Hmm,..",he nodded.
After silence of a minute or two, he parked the car under tree shade along the roadside. It was 3:18 pm and everything was quiet lousy and sunny there on the road.In sometime she would be leaving for her home.
 

"Errr.....",he looked at her, then at the gear stick.

With a bit lost expressions, he projected as if thinking of something very deep.

This sudden stoppage was confusing for her. She had just ended up with some complaints  regarding some senior back at college when he decided to pull up the car by the roadside.

"Emm........I...... want.... to do something",he finally spoke.

Now these were quiet alarming words for her !

Do something! In the middle of the road!

At this point of hour! Really? What?  

What could he be up-to?  Is he insane or what!

What could that something be! What? 

And what should be her reaction to that?

Numerous thoughts crowded her mind at once.

Unable to speak, she just smiled, out of confusion, fear and a variety of mixed feelings.

She just didn't know what to say!

"Emm....what? What...is it that you want to do?", she said, trying to read his face.
"Emm.....It's just something....Emm...That I want to do. Emmm...I hope you won't get angry or slap me or something!", he was stumbling at every word. Eyes traveling between the gear stick and the stereo system. He looked Cute !

Now the whole thing was getting more mysterious.

"What is it!", she wanted to yell, but words just wont come out!
"Emmm...I hope you will like it. You just wait here in the car. I will come in a few minutes.", he finally looked up and said.
"You want to go! Leaving me behind in the middle of the road, alone in the car! No ways", she said to him in her mind.

"Hmm..Okay, but where are you going? What is it? You can tell me na.",the hesitation to let him go could clearly be seen out in her voice.
"Just five minutes work it is, you just don't get angry or slap for what I am going to do", he said.
"Why would I do that? Now you are making me more angry by saying all this again and again.", she replied.
"Okay, slap me then", and he presented his cheek to her!
"Arre, I am not going to slap you",she laughed," Go and come fast".
He immediately got out of the car.

Earlier that day, they had gone to see RA.One. Neither a hit nor a flop but watching Shah Rukh Khan on that big screen was in itself a big treat for the two of them, both being SRK's fans! He just looked too cute every-time when his robot version would smile that crooked smile to Kareena, do silly action sequences, dance to the beats of Akon's Chamak Challo song, walk in attitude in that song or quoet quotes in his totally enticing voice!, at-least for her. Shah Rukh is simply the best! It was his birthday today! After the movie they also had a delicious lunch at Sagar Ratna, one of the best vegetarian food chain of restaurants.

Day has been so good for her so far, and everything that they had planned for the day had been executed successfully, hence she was unable to understand what could be left now for him to go like this.

With increasing heartbeats per second, she watched as he left. But surprisingly, she saw him struggling inside the back of the car for something, in the side mirror.

What could he be possibly doing in that? She could hear some plastic bags moving, but he had already presented her a biggg Birthday greeting card and had also given her a gift, so now what was left!

"Should I get out and see what he's up-to? Or let him return and do whatever he had planned", she thought and turned to look back while being seated in the front of the car.

But she remained seated. Nervous, tensed, happy, curious, to know what it could be!

He came, after some 5 minutes, holding a big square box in his hand. Coming on-to her side of the car,he opened the door,"Happy Birthday", he said smiling and handed over the box to her.

A Birthday cake, it was !

Chocolate cake,her favorite.

"Where do you wanna cut, inside or outside the car?",he smiled and asked.
She was in a state of shock.Hence came no answer. This was the least she had expected today! He got inside the car, opened the box and took out a lighter he had brought only for lighting a candle on the cake. It was all like a dream going on for her. She just sat there, watching things happening, supervising the opening of the box, placing the candle on the cake and administrating the careful lighting of the candle by him. Poor girl was too shocked to enjoy the awesomeness of that beautiful moment! 

"I don't smoke okay, I just had this lighter from one of my friend",he joked lighting the candle. 

Handing her the knife, he then said,"Come-on, now put off the candlelight's and cut the cake".
"But this is so not done", stupid she, other than cutting the beautiful surprise she was still in the shock of the appearance of the cake like this.
"Oh come-on, cut the cake", he said.
"Happy Birthday to You...Happy Birthday to You....Happy Birthday to Dear....", and he sang the whole song for her while she cut down a piece of cake for him.

A piece for him and then a piece for her was cut from the cake.

"But when did you bring the cake? You were with me only",she asked having the cake.
"Err.., remember, today morning when I left you at that point outside that society, asking you to wait there as I had to go one of my uncle's home to collect something...err..I actually had gone to buy this cake and not to collect something from someone", he answered, smilingly.



She was about to leave for home after few minutes,before coming to this roadside point, and during the whole drive from the restaurant to this point all that was going inside her was, "Why do I have such time constraints on me", and now after all this, she simply didn't want to leave. But then she had to leave and he dropped her at the bus stand. She left in all that confusing, shocked and sad state that the thing she had got for him, she placed it on the dashboard rather than giving it to him herself. Neither did she look at him once. She got onto the bus to her home and during the whole journey, all she was thinking of, was about that beautiful lie!

Born Anew, Smita!

Hello Hello and Blessed Be!

SURPRISE surprise to one of our Darlings Smita! Yes, dearest Smita - from all the Darlings on DOV a VERRRRY HAPPPY BIRTHDAYYYY :D

One the most sensitive, romantic, young at heart and simple lady, DOV cherishes to have with us. From all of us, we wish you a great time of your life from now and may you keep smiling and remain a romantic at heart, always! *Hugs*

May you have fun and live life to the fullest. Here's a song for you from the Chipmunks themselves. Love ya!!! :D Keep smiling.

End of one discussion, start of another..

                       I thank you all darlings for participating in the discussion last month. Your posts made interesting read and reasserted what every women feels..

                      The discussion got a good response and it showed in the number of followers who commented on the posts :) So well done all of you..

                      From the posts written by 8 authors on Darlings of Venus, we could draw a few conclusions which are:

1.. Losing virginity is STILL a very important event of a girl's life..

2.. The CHOICE of losing virginity largely depends on the FEAR OF OUTCOME..

3.. That every girl wants to lose her virginity to the man she truly loves.

It was interesting to read the views of our authors as well as the comments of our readers.. Thank you all for the active participation in the discussion..

One post that really made us think back on the decision was PeeVee's Losing it with Pride.. She indeed talked of things which would make us think and decide if the decision was right.. Would it be something you would take pride in telling your grandchildren? 

Paanipuri lover's post was straight in the face and the very first paragraph hit you ! 

 It all depends on my choice. If I feel like doing drugs, I will. If I feel like running nude on a beach, I will. But, by God's graciousness, I've been blessed with a brain that functions well, so I won't do such stupid silly things.

Mystical skeptical Me (MSM) presented us with a different view on the same topic.. 

" Chastity or Purity goes beyond the body or state of it" this line of hers indeed is very true.

So generally none of you thought virginity was lack of opportunity as such if you have found your love!! 

The discussion ended at the end of october and some of the authors didn't write for it. Some felt it was too bold and some didn't write due to lack of time.. Hoping you all write for the next discussion.. I would once again stress that the option of writing ANONYMOUS post is always open for each post, discussion and confession.. 

Also I would like to see the new members writing  for the discussion :) 

The next topic of discussion is: 

 Sexual abuse 

This topic is lot more sensitive than the previous one. Many of us have been fortunate enough to not ever get abused sexually at a young age. But to be true each one has experienced it.. in a very subtle form.. a bad touch, hovering hands, eve teasing, someone talking dirty to you.. It has all happened right?

To be more precise, we do not want rape cases and statistics here. We want to know YOUR story.. What YOU have experienced or been witness to. How did you escape being tormented? What effect did it have on you? Did you ever help someone undergoing this type of abuse? How can young girls avoid it ? 

Be true to yourself and us and talk it out here.. IT will help you heal.. If you have been really really fortunate to never ever have experienced any of the things talked above, then maybe you can write about statistics and all.. But be true.. 

I know talking out here again would be a problem for some so please please use the ANONYMOUS option given.. Your story might just help someone undergoing similar situation.. 

The discussion would go on all month.. This month you all have more time.. I m waiting for more posts :) 

Readers too can write a post and mail it to us at darlingsofvenus@gmail.com.. 

Love or Lust? One Woman - who lives it all.

*Confession of an elite escort, fiction molded with little truth. Some of the incidents are true and names are not used. Opinions, thoughts and emotions expressed are truly mine. It is the story of a woman who almost moved to the path of escorting, but found her way back home. *

She was a "good girl". Yeah, the types who are shy, don't talk to men without blushing all over, who don't talk about their desires, who don't discover the touch of a man, until they are married to a man, they have never seen before. But deep within her soul, she knew that there was something in her, that allured men. She realized it when she was 8, abused for the first time by a relative. Unknown to her, she had slept and had woken up when she felt a hand roving on her body. Inside her dress...clutching her soft body. Her eyes opened to find a man, who had paid particular attention to her, by giving her chewing gums and toffees in the evening, She stopped his monstrous hands with her tiny ones. But he didn't. She understood that this was not the friendly touch. As she tried to free herself, her eyes went to her dad who was sleeping at least a foot away from her. She just had to call him. But as she wriggled he placed his hand on her mouth and peered into her eyes. Green, Grey...the colors. She slipped from under his palms and ran to the washroom. Scared. She saw herself. She was all right, nothing happened...nothing happened. She had tried to tell her mother the next day, who shushed her. Incident One was etched in her brain forever. The man lost his legs in a freak accident.

Image Source: hsmagazine.net

 At the age of 14, another relative, 7 years older to her tried touching her, but she ran away. He tried the second time when she was going down the stairs of her Naani's (Maternal Grandmother) home, when he gripped her both hands and pressed her against the wall, trying to touch her. Before she can scream out, her mother called her and she pushed him away and ran down. She never saw that relative again. 

Image Source: cbsnews.com

By Adulthood, she had become beautiful, with mesmerizing mysterious eyes, sensuous lips and a nature, that could melt anyone. Men fell for her easily, but she would walk over their hearts, not letting her guard down. She was afraid, frightened that No man would ever love her...they would only make love to her. She would flirt openly, her smile disarming a million men, but she would push them away, the moment they would feel the stirrings of desire or love. She would look at them with disdain and walk away, out of their lives, their hearts. 

Image Source: sheknows.com

And then, she fell in love with him. He didn't look different or didn't have angel wings. He was angry, intense and dark - which is what attracted her to him. The pain in his eyes, called out to her. She could never tell him. She became his good friend, very good friend. And she was happy. Life moved on as men came. One guy who asked her out, had imagined her as his wife only to sleep with her. And those were the exact words he used. She walked away. Another man asked her out...and he was the only one, who never attempted to touch her. But she was afraid of love, coward, frightened that she wouldn't do justice to his love. She made him hate her. And he left her. She was happy, content that there was no man in her life. She wouldn't have to battle her feelings of love or dearness. 

Image Source: zedge.net

Kissed by a random stranger and propositioned to, by few others had darkened her mind. She stopped believing in love. She lived in the darkness of her mind. She did not believe in the finer emotions, but relished in the stirrings of desire she could cause in men. Her father was as strict as Hitler himself and her mother fanned her insecurities. Yes, she was of weak mind, she knew. And the fact that she could bring men down before her knees, pushed her to know that Lust was what humans felt. Raw passion, desire was what they all lived for. She gave in to the basest of her emotions. Yes, she would make men worship her and no, it wasn't wrong for her. She needed to feel good. She felt lonely. And she knew no one would love her, no one would understand how getting attached scared her. She knew this was not an excuse big enough to get sympathy or unwarranted love. She would give in to her desires once in a while and it used to be exhilarating. She had the power to leave them yearning for her and she wouldn't care. The scar since her childhood used to disappear with these admiring men. Adventure, risk, danger allured her. She was fire in the wind. Alone but burning.  

Image Source: sanity-illusion.deviantart.com

Then she took a bold step, very bold step. She agreed to make love to a man, she had never met. She felt good, confident that it would be easy, what did she have to lose? She can walk away anyway, anytime. And she met him. He was good looking and loved someone, but desired her. She spoke to him, he was intelligent, funny and smart. She gave in, after spending three days with him. She lost her virginity to him. And then, the reality hit her. It wasn't easy. It wasn't easy at all. She started expecting more love, more emotions. Though she never told him. A week passed away. They made love every day, went out, read books together, had innumerable coffees, laughed together and lived together - those moments of bliss. She started to like him more and more. 

Image Source: vi.sualize.us

She realized she was no tough woman. She was only a woman. That night, when she was leaving, He took her out for dinner.


"You all right, girl?" He asked tenderly, love (?) coating every syllable. 
"Mhmm...I am" She looked at him, her eyes filled with love equally.
"You don't seem interested in food. Can I do something? Did I do anything wrong?" He added with a concerned tone. 
"Oh No! Most certainly not."She ended the sentence with her beatific smile. 
He laughed and kissed her cheek. "I won't do anything to hurt you. Remember, your past you should forget, for you deserve the best. I will cherish every single moment I spent with you. This week was the best week of my life. I like you, a Lot." He looked into her eyes. 

Image Source: valentinesdayromance.net

She was skeptical, that she was just another person, for he would never be able to love her. They will have an affair. Controversial one. That he didn't deserve. She would walk way.


She blushed, but squelched the desire to say that she had started to feel something for him. After all, she had no emotions and she didn't believe in love. Or did she? She gave him pleasure, she got pleasure. However, her heart, she noticed, suddenly just felt numb. She wanted to be loved. She wanted to be respected. Her last week came down crashing  on her. So, she slept with a man, lost her virginity to him and she had given a thought to doing this. What she had never thought was that she would fall in love with him. Had she felt loved? Yes, even though for few moments. In those moments she wanted to be his woman. But she would only remain that. The Other woman. Who makes a man feel complete, who makes a man - man, who is a lover...not love. 

Image Source: ivewatchedit.com

"I like you too. A Lot." She said, smiling, resisting the urge to ask him, if he felt something for her. She got up and kissed his cheek. They walked together to her taxi. She stopped to face him. Her heart swelling double it's size.


"Goodbye, you are the best man I have ever met. You healed me." 
She gave him a tight hug as he stared at her, unsure whether to kiss her, hold her or just say goodbye.


"Will you never return again? You are saying this like you are going forever." 
He looked worried. She smiled. In that moment, she was his.


"Don't let that stop you from loving your girl. Be true to her, for she is the best woman you can get. I will only be your lover." 


She hugged him again, sat in the taxi, leaving him standing on the side of the road. She had found love. For once in her life. She was complete.

Image Source: my.opera.com

PS: I wanted to tag this under confession, even though it is not my story completely, though many women may relate to it. I hope you like it. :) Blessed Be!