I Crush You...Till I find someone better

What exactly is a crush?
Crush is the instantaneous attraction for someone. a crush is when you think about someone all the time. It is multiple and doesn't last for long.
Sometimes, crushes may turn into love. But, many a times it just fades away as a nice memory or If a new person appears the crush just gets transferred from one person to the other

Yes Girls, Admit it, many times in life you must have seen a super cute guy and wondered "Why can't I be his girlfriend?"

You know..from like teen years having a crush on your classmate or senior, or a swooning over a cute teacher's smile or a charming work colleague.. We all have been there done that...

I personally have had crushes on this rugged, unkempt guys with broad shoulders and nice forearms who have a cliched sense of humor..
I have like a proper rendezvous conversation in my head with my crushes, but the moment he comes in front of me its like I lose me oh-so-confident self, my voice box vanishes and the whole body switches into a dunce retard mode...Im like DAFAQ...Where did all those coo-chi-ccoing-asking-him-for-a-date one week long conversation go off..?

Without a co-worker crush, work seems so be so cold and boring..I mean every girl needs an eye candy. How else would you survive in a mundane environment for 90% of your week..
Yea, though you know you ain't gonna get serious..plus this new crush doesn't re
ally know of your lascivious thoughts over him..
Its actually dangerous for him to show your thoughts...it might turn scandalous ya know...Like really, no one wants to be the "hot topic" at the coffee vending machine area and the butt of smoking area jokes right..

The mind generally wanders off around them, hormones do the talking "How would it be to be with this person?" and everyone hanging on the arms look so wrong to your green-with-envy-eyes..You see them everyday..so its like keeping a juicy bone in front of a hungry chained dog close enough for it to sniff it but not have it..
Then a new cutie enters, and the old crush lies forgotten....

Still.....even after a lot of yes-no's-blushes-secrets-tears-smiles...we never stop crushing on those who make our hearts flutter,even if its temporary

"Darling, I have a big crush on you, till i find someone better"
Happy Crushing!!!

Picture Courtesy: Google Images/Pen.jpg

Her Smile His Smile !

A Smile appears,
Her lips lift up.
She's happy,
He can see that.

That's what he had wished for,
And that's what she had dreamed of!

No reason is explained,
No reason is expected.

It simple happens,
And she loves to see it happening!

It may mean four colorful petals
Stuck around a green stick to some.
For her 
It's his love, care and affection
All wrapped up and presented in the form of a flower!


A flower may simply be a flower
throught out it's life
It's meaning changes
When it is plucked
When it is found
And when it is presented
To Somebody by Somebody!

 

Journey, To Love her !

A bit hesitant,

A bit excited,

Heart pumps feelings,

Hard to decipher.

Ready to be conquered,

Ready to destroy,

The ruler remains unknown,

Of his own secret desire.

She enters,

Wishing to be respected,

He enters,

Wishing her wish

To be respected.

Talks are stampeded,

Slowly silence prevails.

Distance becomes unbearable,

Slowly it vanishes into thin air.

Souls come closer,

Closer to be felt.

Planets take their position,

For something divine to begin.

Hands hold the face frame,

While Eyes stare at the moon,

Each detail is studied,

Of the evening and the noon.

Kiss is presented,

Welcomed warmly by the female.

Male takes the charge,

And love begins to happen.

Hands move down slowly,

Configuring the neck and the waist.

Moving down they stop,

At the curved disturbances at hand.

And she is pulled,

Pulled towards him,

Firmly held in his hands,

Declaring not to leave her ever.

Souls are quenched,

Of the long killing thurst.

What else can be more beautiful,

Than to watch the cupids at work.

A kiss there,

And a peck here.

No part of her land,

Is left undiscovered.

Souls come closer,

Closer to bond together,

Souls need nothing,

But the bond of Love,

To be bound for ever.

P.S. : This is my first attempt at such kind of poetry. Readers, Please be gentle :) Thanks. Love.

SMITA

With you, Without You.........!

                           

I was living,

I was breathing,

Life was going on.

Things were happening,

Everything seemed to be in place,

Without you even.

I was fine,

I was happy,

Life was smoothly running.

Events came and went,

All was just the way it was supposed to be,

Without you even.

And then came "You",

And the meaning of "I" changed.

And then there was "Your Presence",

And the meaning of "My Presence" changed.

And then came "Your Self", 

And the meaning of "I" totally changed.

Its hard to breathe a second without you,

Its hard to imagine anything without you,

Its hard to  not to be with you,

Its hard to not to talk to you,

Its hard to not to think about you,

Its hard to not to love you,

                                              

                                                 You may mean something to this world

                                              But that something is now my whole world.

                   

RANDOMLY........

Randomly She Bites Her Lip, Hiding The Picture In Her Mind.
Randomly She Smiles, She Remembers Every Word He Said That Night.
Randomly She Stares At The Sky, She's Looking For The Star That They Shared That Night.
Randomly She Shivers, She Gets A Thought Of The Days That They Used To Fight.
Randomly She Cuddled To Her Pillow, She Misses His Feel She Knew It Was Just Right..
Randomly She Calls, She's Wanting To Hear Words Which They Shared All Night..
Randomly She Says Booo, She Wants Him To Get Surprised.
Randomly She Texts, Hoping He Would Respond The Same Way He Did Before,
Randomly She Cried, When He Didnt Care,
Randomly She Swore, When He Was Rude And Mean,
Randomly She Missed Him, Looking At Other Pairs,
Randomly She Loved Him, All The More Ever,
Randomly She Hated Him, For Leaving Her Alone,
Randomly She Waited, For Him To Call Back...
Randomly She Sat, Looking At Her Phone, Hoping A text Will Arrive, Stating, I Miss You Too, Please Come Back!

You're The One, I Love !

Each day spent with you

Is

A special one.

And

I want you

To know,

That just being close to you

Is

A wish come true !

I

would give you the world

if I could

the sun,

the moon

and all the stars ,too

 

But all I can give you

is

what’s mine to give

all my hopes,

all my dreams

all my love

all of myself.

Sweetheart

I love you

With all my heart.

Smita

Mistake Revisited

“Okay…..Hmmm…Should I tell you one thing?”, he interrupted her.

She was busy thinking about what all was happening and was trying to cope up with his words when the sudden words surprised her.

“Okay, tell me “, she waited for his reply.

“Hmm……”, he still was in thinking mode whether to say it or not.

“Come on, tell me”, she insisted and planted a tax on his cheeks.

“I have read your blog post Mistake”.

                                         **************** 

They had been collecting tax from each other for a while now.

She had said earlier in the afternoon that he needed tax from him for pulling her cheeks.

“You need to pay tax for this”, she said looking up.

“Okay, tell me what you want”, came the quick reply.

She was not ready but. She had said so in a rush but now she herself wasn’t sure of what to ask from  him. 

He was pulling her cheeks and she needed tax for that.

He loves doing that and she loves letting him do that.

So no question of asking anything in return was there but she had said something which now she herself was finding hard to explain.

“Hmm…nothing. What do I ask you now”, she said smiling.

“No, no. Tell me. I will pay the tax na”, he said smiling too.

“I …..don’t know”, she said, confused what to ask.

“Tell me… what you want. I will give”, he was comfortable in giving anything she might have asked, but she wasn’t sure what to ask from him.

He already had given her much of gifts, much of happiness, much of care, too much of everything that nothing flashed in her mind to ask him now.

“I don’t know….I…..Just asked and now I myself don’t know”, she said, looking in his eyes.

 And he pecked a kiss on her forehead.

He knew she is confused and this appeared to him as the most suitable tax, that could be given at the moment.

And another tax was then paid on the right cheek and then on her left cheek.

Tax was collected happily!

“Oh… God….you have read Mistake”, she said shyly and covered his eyes.

His face was in her lap and they had been talking about all their stuff accompanied by paying and collection of tax by both of them. 
New sprouts are really fresh.
She covered her face with her both hands. He pulled them away and faced her eyes.

“Yes, I have read it. I have read all the comments also.”, he grinned.

It was really a shock or a surprise for her, to know that the person for whom something not so good was written has been read by him.

“But….How did you find it? I didn’t give you it’s link. So….How did you manage to find it?”, This was indeed the million dollar question. She had hidden that blog post from her, as not to complicate things more between them.

“Hmm..I have read! I liked it. So…Now also is it a mistake?”, he asked.

“Yes, Now it’s a beautiful mistake”, and they kissed.

                                      *****************
 

Mistake stated her pain for coming up with his feelings for him in the first place, before him even. But no reciprocal of any such thing from his side surely broke her few days. But faking is what she’s best at! She managed and coped up with the situation. They guy was made to think, think and think, about the post, get a bit irritated and wonder why and what might be going in her mind.

She never knew this could happen! That he would somehow find this blog post of hers, but now she's happy that he has read it. She's glad that she wrote something like this!

She had stated it all as a Mistake but now she was happy more than ever as that mistake led to another mistake, The mistake of being together !

[The original mistake can be read here :  Mistake ]

P.S. : A, you know, a lot more is what I intended to write but somehow it's hard for me to concentrate on writing than thinking about you :P So, sorry, this might not be that long as you might have expected it to be. :) 
 

Smita

Moon Light

The moon was shining high up in the sky,

Half moon it was.

His moon was shining in the moonlight,

Full moon it was.               

She was close.

He was close.

So were the moon and stars.

They hugged each other,

With she captured in his arms.

Arms rolled around each other

Tax by him was being paid.

Little wet pucks of kisses
 on her cheeks,
were being laid.

They were in love,

Yes they were.

Hard to believe and realize,

But easy to fall for and feel alive.

Trying to hide herself in his arms,

The struggle was going on.

In between, Tax collection work

Was also going on.

Suddenly it got dark,

Only her moon lit face was visible.

He tried cheating

But she controlled her feelings.

More was the urge,

More was the request.

"Where will we find such light again".

Was the statement breaking up her vain.

The move was made,

He got the signal,

And the whole gist is,

Its  was all kisses 

That night

in the moonlight.

Big Bite !

She was being watched for long now.

She has been eating her food peacefully and talking about all the world stuff and he was being a patient listener.

Or rather, was simply watching her speak or thinking about something.

From food to studies, from relatives to relations, everything was being discussed.

She ain't too much of a talkative person but right now, she was speaker and he was listener.

The food was good. 

She was having her favorite food and he was having his.

T.V. was being glanced at by him from time to time in between their conversation.

"Hmmm....", that was all that was being given as a response to her talks.

And a move was made by him.

She was offered a piece of Naan from his Thali.

She was speaking about something when in the middle of everything, his hand grabbed a piece of Naan, dipped it in Daal and was brought to her mouth.

They were sitting facing each other on the table.

She smilingly ate from his hands, though with some difficulty.

She had t open a big mouth for that offered bite.

Some Daal was stamped on her face while the bite was offered to her.

She mananged to eat the whole in one go.

And after she finished eating, did she notice the daal on her face.

"I made you eat a big byte na", he said thoughtfully, seeing her cleaning her face.

The thought with which such a big bite was offered to her was what made her smile along with the innocent question, the thoughtful thought that he should have made her eat a small bite and not such a big bite was cute enough for it to be a blog post.

Smita 

the Men in my Life.

     The first thing that comes in every girl’s mind after reading the title of this post is her father obviously. He’s the first man we see when we come in this world. He’s the first person whose hand we hold and learn to walk, whose words we listen to and learn to talk, whose actions we observe and learn to act, whose arms we feel comfortable in.  He’s the one from whose hands we like to eat, we like to get beating, we like to receive gifts and we like to receive love. He’s our world, our everything. He’s the man in every girl’s life till the day she meets that someone special. That someone special around whom she just have to be her natural self. And this post is for him :)

I love my father. Till date, he has been the man in my life. I have always looked up-to him for being what I am today. The rules, the principles of life, being honest, truthful, hardworking, these are few qualities I have learnt from him. But then, every girl someday finds somebody whom she places next to him in her life. And this is all about this guy. Reason for presenting him such a valuable position, not many men will make you smile your real smile, and the one who do makes you do this, is the man of your life.

 It’s been my biggest mistake to meet him so late in my life. I don’t know what life would have been,  had we met earlier but one thing I can assure is, life would have been much more beautiful, had I met him earlier. Though It’s more beautiful than my imagination now even. All thanks to you A ( Hope you won’t mind me writing this all ).

 Not many will make you think how beautiful you are, but he did.

 Not many will make you believe in yourself, but he did.

 Not many will do things out of the box for you, but you did.

 Not many will think about you, but he did.

 Not many will make you feel good about your presence, but you did.

Thanks for everything A :)

You might have not realized it, but you did and still do a lot many things which have a great impact on my life, for the good of-course. There are a lot many little things you do, that I love. And this is all about that :)

 The way you make me cross the road, holding hands like a toddler, is what I like. The way you say my name and blogger, is what I like. All your appreciation for my writings, I still have them all J  The way you make plans for our meetings, the way you get scared when our plans execution seems to be hard, is cute. The way you protect me on the road from vehicles is nice. The way you think a lot about me, see my pictures, comment on them and then tell me all about it, is just so naïve about you but is all loveable. The way you keep on looking at me, from the corner of your eyes, with me not even looking at you, is adorable. The expressions you give, when my face is held in your hands, that look in your eyes when you do so, is simply unexplainable here. All the words you speak to me, I remember them all. The thought with which I am made to eat the first bite of your food, is something that can’t be expressed here. It’s something that can only be felt and can’t be written. Everything that you have done till now, all those gifts, talks, messages, everything, everything is simply so beautiful :)

All the movies, places, gardens, market areas that we have visited, I remember them all. All the places where we ate and where we spent quality time, I remember it all. All the journeys,car, auto, bus, train, flight, all the gifts, everything that we have done, I remember it all. AND I LOVE THEM ALL. And the best, was the birthday celebration :)

 

I had thought of this to be a long post but I am sorry, am unable to write anymore than this. How can I express all those beautiful moments spent with you, all those memorable things done with you, all those happy moments gifted to me by you in a mere blog post. I just can’t and hence I am ending it here. You know it, it’s sometimes hard for her also to speak via her writings and this is one of those times !

Thank you A for everything :)

Thank you, and I mean it from the core of my heart.

Happy Valentine's Day Baby :)

Slap-Rose-Surprise !

“Today is your birthday?”, the lady asked inspecting her bag.

She gave her a puzzled look and replied, ”No”.

“Am not wearing birthday clothes, nor do I have a birthday card or some fancy gifts with me to make someone ask this question. Then why did she ask so?”, she thought to herself while the security lady was busy inspecting things in her bag.

“Okay”,

she got the answer and hence smiled and so did he!

The lovely red roses bouquet in her hand-bag made it look like as if it was her birthday to the lady at the red fort security check!

But it was not a gesture on anybody’s birthday. It was a token of sorry for someone by someone for something that had occur the previous day and had led to some anger and fight but the outcome of which was as lovely as the flowers!

 

**************************************************************** 

 “Hey, ask the aunty standing there to leave na”, the question popped up by him in the middle of a conversation was absurd! Moreover, him having a problem with a lady standing there and watching them came as a surprise to her.

“What ...Who aunty…”, she looked around to see a 50 year old woman standing few steps away from them and hearing their conversation while waiting.

“Why you have a problem with her.”, she giggled. He didn’t find it funny though!

“Ask her to leave na”, he sounded irritated with the lady’s presence there now.

“Arre…she will go na”. And after a minute, she did leave.

“Yeaaa…aunty has gone”, he was more than overjoyed to see the lady leaving with his son and daughter and law.

“Close your eyes”, he said.

“Wh…….. What! …No! “, she literally screamed at him.

“Arree, close your eyes na!”, he insisted again.

“No…Why..? Why should I close my eyes?”, she asked.

They had been sitting at the metro station for some few minutes now. She wanted to leave for their destination as soon as possible but he wanted to sit there for some time. Clever he! He was making the mood to present something!

“Please do it na”, he yelled!

“Arree…But why?”, she looked in no mood to do that!

“Just do it!”, he yelled again.

And before she could open her mouth again came the order,” You too made me do this once, remember? Now do as I say”, he said blackmailing her!

Tit for Tat! She had to close her eyes unwillingly! 

Though she love surprises but she wasn’t expecting one today in the least!

She closed her eyes while he struggled with something in his bag! She heard the noise of some polythene bags moving!

“A gift! No”,she thought in her mind.

 

Though a smile came on her face just with the thought that she was about to be presented something but she kept on saying “I am not gonna accept anything”.

He kept quiet, still struggling in his bag!

She kept on repeating the same lines, ”What is it? I am telling you. I am not gonna accept anything. I don’t need anything!”, but who would listen! 
Him, Not in the least! 

Some 30 seconds had passed and now it was really hard for her to keep her eyes shut anymore. The impatient girl had to cover her eyes with her hands.

“Don’t cheat”, came his words, mixed with some plastic bag’s noise.

 

“Am not cheating . Please hurry up na”, came her baby voice.

Surprises are her favorite!

“Alright.”

“Open your eyes”, and there he was standing there, smiling, with a bouquet of red roses in his hands for her.

“Oh God! You are maddddd!!!!”,she said smilingly.

He just kept smiling and standing there.

“God!!! You are totally mad!”, and she pulled the bouquet towards her.

“Why did you bring this! Why? You are maddd!!!”.

She kept calling him mad the whole time and alongside not only she had accepted it but was totally overwhelmed by this lovely surprise. Not even in the wildest dream she had ever thought that one day she would be presented such lovely flowers by him.

 

She kept smiling, looking at the beautiful red roses, and kept complaining, ”Why did you bring this? You are mad!”. Her usual act of not enjoying the moment but to keep shouting at him for the good that he do!

“You were angry na”, came the baby reply.

She looked at him and smiled. 

“What to say to this guy! He will do what he wishes to! And more or less I too love it!”, she thought in her mind.

Red roses made her happy, more than anything can ever make! 

The movement of the fingers on the wet red petals is what she loves. The fresh scent of the flowers, the beauty of white and red mixed and wrapped together, the thought with which it was presented is what made it all so beautiful for her. She was more than happy to receive and more than sad to keep complaining about it.

“But I wasn’t angry.”, she said, 

not even moving her eyes from the flowers.

“You were. You said so, yesterday evening only.”, he said.

“But then I said later that I wasn’t na. I agree I was mad at you in the afternoon and in the evening too but then later I was okay. I told you too na. So you didn’t have to bring flowers.”, she again complained.

“It’s okay na. You are happy na, that’s what matters.”, he replied.

“But still. You didn’t have to do this all. You are mad, totally mad”, she kept complaining while enjoying the fact that she got such a lovely surprise to remember forever!

She was complaining but was more than obliged to keep the bouquet.

“Thank you so much”, she smiled.

He smiled back.

“But still you didn’t have to do this”, they laughed and left for their destination.

The whole metro journey kept going on the questionnaire between them with only one question and one answer to it.

“Why did you bring the flowers”, being her question and “Because you were angry” being his reply.

*******************************************************************

 

Thrash!

“O..h….”, her face turned to the other side after the sudden imprint of slap on her face.

She was talking or rather enjoying the funny site of him sliding up and down the chain of the sweater of the other friend of theirs standing with them. And in the middle of conversation came a slap on her face  by him. She did smile but was taken aback by this sudden action of his!

 

She didn’t mind him slapping her as this hadn’t happened for the first time but the intensity was much more this time and this has been happening since few days now. She was not angry for being slapped but him not realizing that he had slapped her hard did irritate her to the extent of being angry.

She left the place and he wasn’t coming to see her off at the gate but the call of the other friend of theirs  to him made him come.

 It was all settled now. She was happy for being presented the flowers and he was happy that she accepted the flowers. But the whole metro journey the thought that why he brought the flowers, kept bugging her as she was angry on him in the first but later on her anger had eventually subsided down later at night. But then if a slap can bring such lovely surprises then she and her cheeks really don’t  have a problem!

Smita 

Yes or No....!

Yes.

Yes Yes Yes.

Yes, the answer to the question is a big Yes.

The question : Whether to keep or not the gifts or things gifted by your ex-girlfriends/boyfriends.

The answer   : Yes.

The dilemma keeps on striking each-day, everyday from inside. The question, as to keep the memories or discard them away keep bugging you from inside every-time you come across them. What to do and what not to do! Whom to tell and whom not to tell! Keep it ? Throw it?

What?

Love Quotes

You don't love him/her anymore, you don't think or care about that person anymore but still you have his/her memories with you. You still carry the wallet gifted by her, you still put on the perfume gifted by him, you still have the soft toy gifted by her on your table, you still wear the ear-rings gifted by him,you still read the book she had gifted you once and you still use the key-chain that he had got for you.

 

You don't care about that person anymore with that earlier intensity. You don't wish to know about the whereabouts of that person anymore. You don't want him/her anymore in your life. You are done with that person but still you carry his/her memories with you.

               

 One of my friends showed me his ex-girlfriends ear-rings and bracelet that he carries with himself to till date. They broke up some 2-3 years back.The guy had secretly kept those things of hers and keeps it with him every-time. Once in conversation with him,the question aroused, should he keep them?

Answer is, Yes.

Though it's my perspective about the scenario and I would gladly like to be corrected if I am wrong.

Why does one has to throw away the things gifted by their ex's? Why? You loved that person once, right? You were madly and irrevocably in love with that soul. For you he/she meant the whole world. You would have done anything just to make him/her happy. You cared from your heart for that person, right? You never left a chance to make memorable memories with that person. You would have brought the whole world at his/her feet if he/she would have asked you to do so. You had once waited for all the things gifted to you, you accepted them with much happiness once, right? So now why even the thought of throwing them away?

Throw them if you have been in a bad relationship, if you just couldn't connect any good memories with them. But then also, try looking at the brighter side, and believe me, there's always one in every thing. You just have to look a bit harder to find the brighter one. A s the darker part always try shadowing the brighter part.

Throw away the gifts, cards and stuff if you hate that person for some or the other reason now. Discard them all if you don't want to recall that person's memories in your life anymore. Erase all his/her footprints from your life and surroundings if they make you suffer. But then, does being in Love with somebody made you suffer? If yes, then you were fooled for being infatuated and you thought it was Love! You were in Love but the other was just playing!

 I, personally would like to suggest to keep the memories with you if you have that mental level that you can control your foolish inner-self from being hurt every-time by seeing those things.

I would like to suggest him to keep all the stuff he has of her ex-girlfriend if doesn't hates her. Keep them. Keep the memories. See it and feel the aroma of love for somebody else if not for her. Don't see it as something bad, reminding you of the bad phase you had with the person to whom those things belong to. See that as somebody whom once loved you and cared for you and had got some of her love and care for you in the form of that gift. Take it as a token of your Love, the real reason why you kept it, the real reason behind still keeping it. Mark it as a symbol of Love you once felt or still feel for somebody.

Keep the ear-rings, keep the bracelet. See it as a token of love. Don't see it as her if you don't want to.Keep it for life or pass it on to somebody you would Love in future,if that person can understand the value of those articles. Keeping such things is in itself a big deal. Not everybody does that. You did that because you felt something and maybe you still do. 

 I still have the photo of somebody I loved. I won't delete it however coming across it does hurts me. But the thing I shared with him once was pure and real from my side. And no matter what the outcome of that thing was, what all consequences I and he bore because of that, I still Love to remember sometimes that somebody did really cared for me once. Though his existence doesn't bothers me anymore but still I don't feel like deleting his photo, that I have with me with him still ignorant of this fact. He too might be having something of me, if he really cared. So this is not bad. This not something to hide, though revealing also should be avoided to all. This is the your true spirit celebrating your true Love, even when the other person ditched it!

 

Attaching yourself to somebody's inanimate object like a snap together, a gift or any such thing is no foolishness. It shows how much you were into that other person. It's the feelings that are attached. It's the unsaid words that matters. It's the bond that you shared with somebody that is binding you with that thing. It's no bad to keep it. Keep it and cherish it. Make new memories with it rather than remembering the old ones. Life is about moving on. Keep walking and keep smiling, this should be the attitude. 

Many will come and many shall leave but dearer are the ones whose memories shall never leave.

Smita