Even a fashionista falls down somedays!

Just another weekday. 

6:00 am -

Chammak challo blares right in my ear and disturbs that yummy dream I was having (its an annoying song that FORCES me to get up to switch it off so that i don't have to listen to it. Perfect for an alarm!)

Switch off alarm and go back to sleep (I don't bother with 'snooze' anymore)

6:30 am - 

Mom peeps in. "Are you getting up?"

Mumble something and go back to sleep.

6:50am -

My room becomes brighter and brighter inspite of those thick curtains (stupid east facing room)

I wake up. I remember I have a meeting at 8:30. Get out of bed

7:15am -

Think of a dress to wear while showering. 

7:30am -

Stand in front of wardrobe. Still thinking. Pull out clothes only to mentally sigh and push them back in. 

(There goes yesterday's neatly sorted pile)

source

Suddenly I remember I already picked a churidar set last night.

I try it on. Not satisfied.

I feel like wearing western formals. Grey trousers with a bright red shirt and some black heels. (result of late night fashion blog browsing)

Start digging into the now-messed-up pile in search of my grey formals.

Found it! 

Its completely crumpled. Plug in the iron box. And the power goes off. Damn!

Search for black trousers instead. Can't find them. 

Shout and ask mom (who is busy in the kitchen).

"Where are my black formals? Did you throw them for wash? They don't need a wash!!! I lost them!!! Where? Mommmmmmmm!!!!"

"You have black formals?" 

*face palm*

"#$$%&& I HAVE! You've seen me wear them SO MANY times!!! But WHERE are they? Its getting LATE!!!" *exasparated whining*

"How am I supposed to remember what all you have? You buy too many clothes..I don't know when you have time to go. No more shopping from now on… blah blah blah"

I am temporarily deaf.

*Sigh*

Fine i'll pick some crappy boring churidar. *grumbling* 

I find a green one that I haven't worn in a long time. Its neat and ironed (thankfully). 

Still cursing the power cut 'coz its hot and am sweating with all this hunting.

I get dressed.

Putting on matching earrings when one earring falls down. 

I bend to pick it up and *riiiipppp*. My pant has a big tear near the knee. Damn! Damn! 

Curse the designer. Curse the cloth. Curse the tailor. What a flimsy material! I can't even bend my knee. Can't even sit. Thank god this dint happen in the meeting! #toptenembarassingmoments

Check the time - Its 8:10!!!!!!

No time to decide on another dress. Its a daunting process.

Pick a different bottom for the same dress. Red. *Hmmmm*. Green and red. Nice and bright. Give myself a pat on the back. Fashion blogging has changed the way I look at colors.

Enter - Cousin Sister. Yawning. With her little baby boy. Who is also yawning.

"Sweetie cutie pieeeeee… Good morning baby booooooo… sleepy babyyyyy.. muah muah muah….."

Sister interrupts my baby talk.

"What the hell are you wearing? To office?? Muhahahahahahaha" .

"What? Its nice. Its called color-blocking. You don't know a thing about fashion"

"Okay…hahahahahahaha"

Slam the door. *Grumble* Try to pick another dress. Time is running out!

Try on a couple more dresses. One refuses to fit. I yank it and wiggle into it. I can barely breathe.

One deep breath and something's going to pop out. Bah! So many dresses to alter.

I feel ugly in the next one. Another one - not ironed. 

Damn! Damn! Damn!

Time - 8:30. 

Dad - You want me to drop you? I am ready.

Me - No no.. you go. I'll take my car.

Mom - STILL not ready??? I thought I saw you wear that green churidar?

Me - The bottom tore. So had to change.

Sis - She wore red instead. Hahahaha… 

Mom - Why do you listen to her when you know she's worse than you?

Me - I don't know! I just do! She's annoying! Now let me go!

source

Rush back into room. 

OK close your eyes and pick something Chandana. Whether its ironed or not, torn or transparent, you are going to wear it and just GO. Even if its purple and yellow.

I pick a white and pink. Gah!!! I don't want to wear pink today.

*Sigh*

Pick the original churidar. The one I decided last night. Silently walk out.

Get into the car, call my guy and start wailing about what a bad morning I had. Lots of Awww's and promises to take me shopping. 

I smile. I dream of what I want to buy and drive into the sunset drive to office where my actual bad day starts!

L for Love !!!

Her skin glittered like a white pearl, 
in the bright sunshine.

For more than an hour, 
the eyes had been watching each other .
Taking into consideration,

That not a single word been uttered so far !

As it was just the love in their eyes and the smile on their lips,

that was given the responsibility of  making a conversation.

She was sitting on the grass. 

Bent on her left hand.

He was sitting there,.

Watching all the movements his love made.

Her curls neatly flowed ,

from the back to the left side of the shoulder,

Down up-to her waist.

But some nasty curls kept troubling her eyes.

Pushed by the air, onto her forehead, 

they kept making their presence felt.

He was loving the sight.

And she was loving being that sight.

Alas, her hand got up to slide them back,

But gently those curls were pushed back by his hand.

She looked him in his eyes.

He looked back into hers.

Something she told.

Something he said.

Down went her eyes in shyness and little she smiled.

He smiled too, as he had just discovered, the love of his life.

Time seemed to stop!

Surroundings meant meaningless now!

Nothing else but the other person,

Seemed to be the universe for now!

Love in it's purest form, was being displayed.

As if the whole plan was made by the Cupids themselves,

For God to watch and appreciate.

He took her hands in his'.

Pecked a kiss on them.

And there he Protected his bare love, 

in the shield of his arms.

She surrendered happily, 

what else could she wish for,

but to find such a loving guy,

as that that she had just found.

There they lay on the grass, 

in the arms of each other.

The guy kissing her forehead 

and the girl resting in his arms.

They were pretty much in love

and nothing else mattered.

There the couple were lying under the sun,

showering love on each other.

Two people in love is not a striking sight to watch.

But Love as pure as this,

was surely a sight to watch.

There she stood, 

watching the Elderly Couple as they made love.

Feeling a bit left out and jealous, 

as she had no one to Love.

But then she smiled, 

looked up in the sky and said,

"Oh, God I thank you ,

for giving me this day,

to know that Love as divine and pure as this, 

can also survive at this age".

[Just a brief up : Here an elderly couple in Love was being watched by a girl ]

Chastity - I smell it on you!

Hello Hello and Blessed Be My Darlings!

*This post has scientific back up - and has been collected from requisite sources - All the opinions are my own and can be raised for debate. Now read on, Disclaimer's Over ! :D*

Is Virginity a choice? Lack of opportunity? Or fear of the outcome?

Honestly, I came to learn of virginity, very late in my life - actually how to lose it, I must say. No, I am chaste...however, to break the solid mental blocks that I had, science came to my rescue. I was judgmental initially (I was 13, yes...coming of age and SUPER scared!) I used to think you can get pregnant if you share a toilet seat (with a guy, yes you can laugh...*looking away*) Anyway, hehe, so I read about what 'virginity' was and I thought it was SUCH a big deal...it still is.

However, on a serious note, this question really bothered me...is virginity a choice? Not really. If I had to rate this on a scale of 1 to 10 (From Lowest to Highest), I would give 8 to Fear and 4 to choice. Lack of opportunity does not count, as there's no scarcity, it's readily available if one looks for it. ;) But how much ever we develop the fact that Indian society is now "growing up" welcoming a discussion on taboo topics like this, we need to admit, the stigma is potent. Very potent. Men still would love to have a virgin as their life partners... (Sorry, menfolk, I understand that the ideology might be same with the Fairer sex, just that women have been brought up to not question some things - which is changing, but very slowly). As we can see, it is in this era, that women can alter the state of their virginity and it is in this era, that the tests have evolved to see whether a woman is virgin or not. Yes, the question then becomes relevant, where does the choice lie or does it even exist?

Image Source: www.rodenasphoto.deviantart.com

There is a psychological reason to this issue. Human beings in general are territorial and they assume the same with their partners - so if my man or a man's woman has been with another mate - in a physically intimate relationship, the ability to appease or satisfy is threatened. To put in simple words, the egos are hurt as the capability to satisfy the mate is questioned. So, virginity doesn't really depend on opportunity, it depends on choice. Honestly, a man cannot tell whether a woman is virgin or not - unless she chooses to tell him or unless he has done it a million times before. The 'hymen' may tear due to excessive sports or other rigorous activities or may not be developed...hence a woman may not bleed...when she indulges in an intercourse for the first time or whenever.

Image Source: us.fotolia.com

Honestly, men these days are very understanding, at least in the present generation. However, there is a fear of being rejected by the society and that of being left alone, tagged  and demeaned, if it turns out that a woman had  indeed slept with another man, she is looked down upon, by the people around her. We find it easy to blame others - she is slutty, she is always horny, they are always making out...they must have done it, she is not a virgin. My point is Virginity should be a choice, it is not for women - though there might be exceptions. And Fear, plays a major major role! Women, Men back out due to lot of factors - Sex for them, involves too many emotions, normally. Then there is a fear of 'protection' being not enough and the chance of pregnancy and third, to be chaste for 'The One'.

Image Source: locatetv.com

I believe, that Chastity or Purity goes beyond the body or state of it. Primal emotions, which humans have, really doesn't heed to the fact if you have done it, it depends on how you do it :D And therefore, MSM would   Love to believe that Virginity is a choice and should remain so.

Looped Memories !!!

"So, we are going for shopping right?", she asked with a wink.

"We...well, yea. Let's go", he answered, humbly.

And they proceeded towards the market. Noon time is the safest for couples to roam around, as people like to sit in their air-conditioned cooled chambers in the month of July in Northern India.

But here was our Romeo, roaming around with her Juliet, all soaked and burning in sweat and sun, yet walking the length of the market with her, just to see that persistent smile on her face.

"Hey, look at these shoes. Aren't these wonderful.", and she halted at one of the side shops.

The best part about roaming in Delhi local markets is, you get good things at cheap rates. All you got to do is search and hunt for the best! And with such a lovely guy besides, any girl could do that! And there she was. He too was happy so the heat really didn't matter anymore !

After scanning through some shops, they stopped at one, where numerous little shiny rounds, long single pieces, various colored sticks were on display. They had stopped at an artificial jewellery shop. The dazzle, the glare from those shinning stones could be clearly seen alluring the girl and this scene was being enjoyed by the male accompanying him too ;)


"Wow, these are so beautiful.", she said, pointing out to at one pair of ear-rings.
"No no no no, look at these. These are more beautiful. I have always wanted one of these styled ear-rings.", she exclaimed.
But the guy was busy observing the different wave of emotions surfacing on her face every second, the lovely tides of amazement in her eyes, the blush on her cheeks for she was in love with so many things at one time!


"Why don't you try these on?", he said, marching a pair of blue ear-rings towards her.

"These are beautiful, lemme try this style", and she gladly took off her ear-rings, placed them on the counter, and tried those new blue ones.
Looking in the mirror she said," These look good, I guess I will take these".
"Sir, how much for this?", he asked the shopkeeper.
"15o bucks", and the money was paid.
She was happy like a baby presented with a new toy.
They were about to leave, when she halted,"Wait, Where are my old ear-rings?".
"Where are they?", asked the guy.
"I left them on the counter while I was trying these new ones.", she said, a bit worried.
"Sir, have you seen those ear-rings?", the shopkeeper was informed and interrogated, making out all the possibilities as to where the ear-rings could disappear.
After an intense search of about fifteen minutes, the ear-rings were still missing.
It was getting late so they decided to leave.


"I loved those red loop ear-rings", she said in a dull voice.
"Hmm, but you have new ones now na. And you can always buy that same design again. I will get you the same soon", he tried cheering her up.
And she did smile."Okay, I will be waiting for that day", she said winking.

And his hands reached his pockets, escaping her eyes, to see whether those read loop hoops were safe there or not !

Smita

The 'it' factor

I haven't yet met a girl who doesn't consider losing her virginity as a very special/important/emotional/sentimental moment of her life. As it is, girls tend to be emotional in matters concerning love. So when it comes to something as huge as loosing your virginity, without a doubt there are a lot of sentiments attached to it. 

Someone once observed that female virgins are more often virgins 'by choice' whereas male virgins are virgins through 'lack of choice' (well that's what they say anyway!). In most cases that 'choice' is made because of the fear of outcome. Fear of what if I get pregnant? What if he leaves me later? What if he starts wanting me just for sex? What if? What if? What if? Naturally this leaves you with no other choice but to NOT do it. Generally I am the type of person who says 'When you are in doubt, just do it and get it over with and you'll know the answer one way or the other'. BUT not in this case. If you have even an iota of doubt in your mind, don't do it. Simple as that.

The final decision of wanting to be physically intimate in a relationship should always lie with the girl. Because she has a lot more to lose than gain. Call it our society's backward thinking or the innate sensitive nature of a girl - but there is no point denying that consequences(if any) need to dealt by women more often than men. I've also seen cases where its not 'fear of outcome', but 'peer pressure' that makes people make 'the choice'. Some of you may disagree with this as it seems quite unlikely. Every author on this blog is a strong, opinionated woman who has a mind of her own and knows how to use it. So this concept of 'peer pressure' might be difficult to relate to, but trust me I have seen it happen. 

At the heart of it, everybody will agree that losing your virginity is a matter of personal choice. But what most people fail to realize is that this choice is almost always influenced by one or all of the factors mentioned above. And since virginity has been a tabooed subject for so long, and the point that "sex before marriage" is wrong has been drilled and embedded into our minds since ages, its hard to NOT get influenced by all these when you are trying to make your personal choice. We live in a society where even falling in love is considered wrong, so sex is definitely a criminal offense. But right after marriage both love and sex are glorified to such an extent that you are left wondering is there an on-off switch for this? Before marriage - love is wrong, sex is wrong. After marriage - flip the switch on and now everything is right.

Just for a second, forget that this was drilled into your mind. What would you choose? Would you go ahead with what your body and mind crave? 

As long as you know that you won't regret it, as long as its something that both of you are comfortable with, as long as its something that works for both of you - I don't see why anything else should come in between. 


p.s - After reading the previous three posts that have already been posted about this discussion, I came to the conclusion that all of us have the same views (more or less!) So I tried to keep mine short to avoid unnecessary repetition of points!

Life through a Sperm's eye

Remember Pyaar ka Punchnama???
YES, i just wanted to let you know what the male species feels about their counterparts. *flexes muscles*

So DARLINGS' of VENUS,
why VENUS?? why not JUPITER or MERCURY?? We all heard about the book and the phrase called "MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS". Ever wondered why?? VENUS as a planet is one cunning bitch! Its not that nearer to the sun to be extremely hot but still manages to give us the fake illusion of being a close ally when it itself is quite inhospitable. Same goes with the female species.

For many years, we have been blamed for being unreasonable and pig-headed.
Lets break the myth okay. We, males are extremely simple and have simple needs. Food, Friends, Sleep and Sex [FFSS] True, sex dominates the rest....so???? Give us one or all the four and we won't complain. We hardly do that anyway. And what do girls need?? Everything. Everything has to be according to them. I can see all of you authors of the blog vehemently denying this....but c'mon, who are you kidding? And when you don't get things your way, out comes a complaint that we just need YOUR time.

I have seen committed girls ready to give up friends just so they can chat with their boyfriend. Boys, on the other hand are not like that. Boys are more likely to forget their girls when they are out with their friends. And no matter how much you fight with him, he is not going to change that trait. So here's a few pointers to all the girls out there who have boyfriends or might find one in the near and distant future.

1. Learn to cook
Guys will forget their mom's food if you can dish out a delicious dish once or twice.

2. Watch and try to learn about his favorite sport
A night with your guy watching football or baseball and cheering their favorite team or player will mean a lot to him.

3. Do NOT bring out old wounds or his mistakes when you argue
NEVER DO THAT. Fight and be done with it. No one wants to remember them days later.

4. Listen to his favorite band
Yes, love for same music may yet take your love a long way.

5. Be friends with his friends
Most times than not, this is actually better. BUT that doesn't mean that you should tag along with them everytime. Guys need their guy-time.

6. Experiment in BED
Break free from the stupid missionary position and surprise him. Love making will reach new heights. [speaking from experience] *looks around*

7. Be friends with his mom
He will always be a momma's boy. Now he has nothing to worry about.

8. The Boob factor
Boys love BOOBS. You know what to do!

9. CUDDLING... GIFT OR CURSE? Figure it out
Some guys love cuddling. Some, like me, can hardly breathe. Know what your guy likes. Its not that the guy always has to do it your way.

10. MEN are not DOGS
Ahem...Not all men are dogs. You people should stop comparing every guy to a bastard you have met or heard about. Seriously, do you see us calling you names even though there are more than twice sluts in this world than gigolos?? Yes, keep this in mind when you decide to call me a DOG too after reading this post :P

Phew! Anyway, done for now! Will come back soon for a culinary recipe. Will make sure i don't post more than 2 posts this month. Don't want to lose the admin job yet :P

See you later ladies...

The virgin post

“So you’re a virgin?” I’ve been asked this so many times, I’ve lost count. And I say, “Umm.. my zodiac is Virgo, ya.”

Turns out they were asking about my sun sign when I told them my DOB, rather than about THE V. Some guys do it deliberately, to see whether I get embarrassed, but the shameless that I am, I smile saccharine-sweetly and reply “Like I’ll tell you.”

Anyways, moving on.

You know when that whole Oh-the-world-is-going-to-end-in-2012-hallelujah!” brouhaha was going on, the first thought that came to my mind was “Damn! I don’t wanna die a virgin! I have to do something about this!!” And I said it out loud. Not just in my head. As expected, I was met with a lot of weird glances because a)everyone else was worried about the world ending, and here I was, worried about dying a virgin( they just didn’t get it), and b)I was not married. And isn’t it a sin for an unmarried girl to even think about sex?

Why is it made out to be such a sin if a girl loses her virginity before she gets married, especially considering the fact that after a married couple’s first night, EVERYONE wants to talk about it? Your mother-in-law, your sister-in-law, your cousin-in-law, your neighbour-in-law- everyone wants to know whether ‘IT’ happened the previous night. Some cultures even demand that the blood-stained bed-sheet be paraded for proof. (True story. Not trying to gross you out.)

So while Indians claim to be conservative about sex, they also make it their business to know what is going on in others’ personal lives. And if they find out that an unmarried girl is not a virgin, then they’ll judge her for sure. They picture sex as ‘wrong’, but themselves go ahead and make babies enough to start a football team.

I think on one hand, why a girl is hesitant to take the plunge before marriage is fear. Fear of what the guy will think of her. “Will he think I’m a slut? Will he lose respect for me? Will he break up with me just because I slept with him before even talking about a future together? What if he doesn’t marry me? What if I get pregnant? What will my husband say when he finds out I’m not a virgin?” Fear of pain. “My best friend’s sister’s friend’s aunt’s grandmother said that the first time hurts a lot.” Fear of being judged/punished. “My friend’s parents found contraceptive pills in her bag and now she’s under house arrest.”

By this time, not only would the girl have changed her mind, she would also have developed a life-long revulsion towards sex.

Do you know what I really feel? Virginity, just like religion, caste, creed, is an unnecessary label, made up by narrow-minded individuals who probably thought up of this theory when they were about to die, without having had any action in their life. And not to forget, sexist. Why else would there be a ‘test’ to know whether a girl is a virgin or not, but no such thing for a guy? How is that fair?

There is nothing wrong in feeling more than just love towards the guy you love (applies to guys too). Hormones were given to you for a reason. To feel them. So if you feel them, but just shut it all up inside for the fear of society, then you’ll just end up getting frustrated. Isn’t ‘sexually aroused’ a much better feeling that ‘frustrated’? Some people express their love through words, some physically. If it works for both the guy and girl, then what’s the issue? Love is not the only emotion you are conditioned to feel.

But hey, at the end of the day, it’s every girl’s personal choice. Remember that. Just like you can’t force your body to get its first period, you cannot force your body to have sex unless your mind is not ready for it. If it feels right, do it. You can put at least that much of trust in your own judgment, can’t you? But remember, there is a thin line between being modern and promiscuous. As long as you know what you’re doing, you don’t need to listen to anyone else.

As for the debate ‘Virginity is directly proportional to marriage’, that has been going on since my great-grandmother’s time, and will go on till the time your children have great-grandchildren. You live your life the way you want to. Personally, I would much rather ‘lose’ my virginity to a guy I love before marriage than to the complete stranger I got married to. Because it’s not just an animal act.

And for those of you who are wondering whether I’m still a virgin or not, yes, my zodiac is still Virgo. ;)

P.S:- Apologies for the long, meandering, lost-its-track-somewhere-in-between post. Only when I started writing did I realize that I have too many opinions on this topic. So many, that I couldn’t channel it. Extremely sorry for the rambling. And also apologies if any of my views have offended you. That wasn’t my intention at all.

ETA: I read Maithili's post about this topic and what she's written about the fear factor after I published my post. Sorry, Maithili! Agree with each and every point you've written.

Speaking for all the virgins in the world

Disclaimer: All the thoughts and ideas I am going to present here are solely my opinions and I apologise beforehand if it hurts anyone's sentiments.

Let me come straight to the point. I feel that choice should always be the reason for virginity, but instead fear of outcome is stealing the place. Now, that I have told you what I opine, I will explain.

Be it arranged marriages or love marriages, there is always the difference of opinions between the guy and the girl on this topic. Guys seem to get onto the physical relationship bus pretty easily while the girl struggles between her strongly-formed opinions and the desire to succumb to the earthly pleasure or even at times, just to prove her love for her guy. What I feel is the reason for this goes way long back. Eons and eons ago, women were treated more powerful and superior than men, knowing that the creator gave her special powers that was denied to men, which is true in a certain sense. But then, as time progressed, due to the a lot of factors as irrationality of men and delicate nature of women, the sides were reversed and women found themselves controlled and dictated by men. And it took a while to come to where we are now. I am still in doubt if people have come to terms with the fact the men and women were created together to co-exist and not to ride over the other. (Sorry, for the pun)

The point now is, women have been conditioned mentally, for a long while, that physical pleasure is something that you have to indulge in, only after marriage. This conditioning forms a major influence when it comes to the decision of a girl, whether or not to lose herself for the first time. This conditioning of the women's mind makes her thinking biased towards the fear of what the outcomes of her decision are gonna be. I do not blame women fearing the outcome. After all, it is true that she is being the sole sufferer, while the guy has the option to shrug it off and the probability of the society blaming only the girl is almost 100% (except the cases where the guy truly loves the girl back and decides to shoulder equal blame, which, of course is rare).

Another point to be noticed is that most guys, give in just for the sake of pleasure they get out of coitus. However, women associate many more factors to their virginity. The first time, a girl wants it to be perfect, memorable and with "The guy" she decided that she can lose herself to.It is just not the pleasure of the moment to her, but it is a combination of love, trust, care, support, belief and what not for her. So, if a girl chooses to be a proud virgin until she finds her man, there is nothing to scorn about, neither when the girl decides her man and confidently loses herself by choice. It is her life and her choice, after all. Also, when she finds her man, even then they can choose to wait until after marriage if that is their choice.

I do not think lack of opportunity as an option, except when you count not finding "The guy" as a lack of opportunity.

So, to all the ladies out there, please choose your life, in all aspects. If you want to wait, make your point to your guy that it is your choice and you choose it so. Do not live your life on someone else's choice. If you do that, you will lose the meaning of your life.

Until later,
Keirthana :)


P.S: This is my first ever serious post. I have never expressed my opinions strongly on such controversial topics, even in my blog. So, I apologize if anyone feels I have gone overboard at any point.

P.P.S: People, it is my opinion that there is nothing to feel shy about discussing on strong topics, because expressing our views is our birthright. Just make sure that you do it and that you do it right.

All that revolves around the V!

Prescript: All the ideas and thoughts mentioned here are strictly my individual opinions. I apologize before hand if any sentiments here are hurt for it is unintentional. All images used are from google. 

        The V in question here is the much talked and hyped about - Virginity. Of the many events that are truly life defining for a women, losing virginity is one of the most tabooed and discussed one. Before I venture into the topic of discussion let me just say it aloud for the underage readers of this blog yes there are many and simply putting the topic out of reach for them is useless that sex with an individual below 18 is legally called rape even if the concerned minor has consented to the coitus. 

        At the heart of it, virginity is a matter of choice. What drives this choice? No it has nothing to do with moral or sanskaars of a bhartiya naari. The libido and the desire to be loved is same in both genders. But the restraints of exploring this sensuality rests only on the fairer gender. Don't tell me that morals or upbringing makes the woman choose virginity because that is not the same when it comes to some fondling and petting that is the other forms of expressing love physically. It could be a choice of self control when the girl is still not sure about her relation. 

        Here I would say, if you don't feel comfortable with the idea of losing your V but love your partner a lot then DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT fall into the trap of , "Don't you love me?" or "Don't you trust me?" asked by him and jump on to the bed to prove that you do! 

        Then there is another story, when both partners decide to stay away till marriage (ironically the marriage only a few months away) and show this amazing sanskaar of theirs.

       

 Lack of opportunity?? Now no kidding here, in times when virginity is put on auction and can fetch you whatever sum of amount you want, lack of opportunity still can happen to a woman! However liberal a woman may be, she wants her first time to be memorable and with someone who loves her. No love, no chance! 

    

Women take the term "making love" seriously. I don't think inspite of all the freedom talks, women really want to lose it just for the sake of  "experience". There may be a few but they are hardly any numbers to go by except in Chetan Bhagat books. Women may be open to physical intimacies before marriage but remember that we are in India.

   India,  country where still in certain parts, marriage between a man and woman is consummated on white sheets and that sheet shown to the entire community the next day embarassing and shaming the bride. If that membrane of hers betrays her then she is an outcaste from the household and community. 

   A country where a male child is proudly named Arjun after the great warrior never mind how many marriages he and his brothers cumulatively had but no one dare name their daughter Draupadi! 

  Here a man is known for his merits and a woman judged by the presence or absence of a membrane called hymen. 

  By now it is quite clear what makes the choice for the women, yes -- fear of the outcome. 

  

By outcome I do not mean just  that bundle of joy who would be disowned in a garbage bin or better aborted!

Its 21st century and we are all well aware and educated never mind those blushing aunties who came to teach us life science and ended up with some bee business about the precautions and protections to be taken. 

If not precaution we know the miraculous pills that can correct our errors.

The fear here is of losing the respect.. Yes I m just echoing out aloud what most of us think..

Fear of losing the interest of the guy for whom the chase is over. Fear of those scandals and those cameras which could pay anything to get a peek at our most personal moments.  Fear of the guy.. What if he turns out the wrong one and you want to move on? What if he wags his tongue against the girl who leaves him? What if it was just a game for him? 

If the guy is perfect, then fear of doubt.. What if he thinks , if she could do with me she's really easy.. she could do it with anyone.. Yes this is real! very real! Still need proof?? Go watch Dev D! 

I once again stress that it is FEAR and by that I do not mean that all guys think the same about women who trust them enough to take this step. 

Then there is always the looming fear of getting caught and the shame that will fall upon the girl never mind the guy, he was getting some experience while the girl was the slut.

Sometimes a physical relation does add complexities.. I heard this somewhere from someone I know " Getting sexually active, is like giving the tiger its first taste of human flesh, it wont stop". The fear of that quotient changing is always there. 

But above everything else, a girl wants her first time to be secure and memorable.. Isn't it kind of funny how if a girl has had that experience before marriage society treats it so different than the much filmy suhaagraat! 

Like many things that we sacrifice all our life, so is this choice .. the fear of breaking the constraints.. 

It is hypocritic how majority women scorn upon sex with a stranger and yet majority of the women believe in arranged marriages! 

At the end of my post, I would still say that, "Your body, your choice." No one has the right to judge you for your boldness to accept the needs of your body. Neither does anyone has the right to laugh on you for your CHOICE of not getting into bed for the heck of it ! 

P.S : I m actually surprised why the outspoken and expressive girls have not yet come with a post for the discussion. I thought I would be the last due to all the exam thing and schedule! Once again I would say the option of posting anonymously is open darlings.. Only me and 2 admins would know who wrote and we would not disclose it here. I sense that there is hesitation to write on this topic. Please feel free to choose the anonymity! No judging on that! 

Golguppas @ Paanipuris

Hi all :)

Here I present you the recipe of Golguppas @ Paanipuris. Though it is simple enough for a kid to make it in under an hour, I do not think many people are aware about it. This weekend, I had been to my bro's place, where I chanced upon an opportunity to make Golguppas for my sister-in-law. Since I am also a crazy lunatic when it comes to eating and especially Golguppas, I started without a moment's hesitation.

Ingredients:

Puris - 2 Packets (Those short puris are easily available in any of the bakery shops)
Boiled Potaoes -5 to 6 (Medium sized)
Boiled Vegetable2 - This is your choice. Green Peas taste the best, but you can use any vegetable that goes great when mashed with potatoes. I used meal-maker (Soya balls).
Seedless Dates - Some 20 dates will do.
Tamarind, Masala powder/ Chilli Powder, Salt, Coriander, Onions, Any other spices of your taste -As needed.

Enough listing. Let me get into the process, already.

Mash the boiled potatoes and chop the soya balls and mix them well, adding enough salt and masala powder. 

Sabji is ready. Over to the paani.

It is half-way through making rasam (the famous south indian side-dish for rice :) ) You have to just get the tamarind to soak in water and get its juice. Then, add salt, chilli powder, or if you would wish the ready-made rasam powder. Then chop some coriander leaves and drop them in.

Now to the dates sauce, grind the seedless dates and appropriate amount of tamarind with a mixer until it becomes a paste.

Now, you are left with other loose ingredients like:

Chopped Onions:                                                                                          Crispy Fresh Puris:

And some coriander leaves for decoration purpose :)

And voila, there are your paanipuris all ready to be gulped down :)

This way, we get to eat as much golguppas we want and yet claim that we are eating hygenic food :)

Hope you people liked it. Try it out and let me know.

Can any of the blog admins link this post under recipes, please?

P.S: @Paanipuri Lover: This one is dedicated to you.

Until later,
Keirthana :)