You Are a Girl

"This is so unladylike"
"Wear something longer, cover your legs, is this how you sit at home"
"Learn to cook, else your in laws will say parents have taught nothing to the girl"
"Why is that neckline so deep"
"Wear a salwar kameez, we are traveling by 2AC remember"
"Let your brother go, he is a boy. You cant go its 10pm already"
"She is in one of "those" days"

Are these phrases familiar?
I am a woman, I have breasts, I have a vagina. But,  that doesn't make me any less human. Does it?
Yes, I wear a bra. Doesn't mean that I expect you to judge my size.
I go through PMS, mood swings, cramps, cravings, periods every month. That doesn't make me any unpure than I was a few days back.

I get stared upon, I get whistles, I get comments, I get groped from men of varied age group.
Doesn't matter what outfit I'm in. Doesn't matter what time of the day it is. I'm like a public property.
If I wear or act like myself, and "Myself" may differ from the conceptions of different people, then I'm bound to get teased and raped. I asked for it. Just because I don't fit the bill of a "normal girl" its OK for me to be leered at.
I am a girl, I can't party alone. I have to have a male company. And not just any male company, it has to be my brother, father or husband.
I'm a characterless slut if I go out dancing with my guy friends.

A guy proposes me, I reject him. I invite him to throw acid on my and ruin my life.
I propose a guy, I an easy girl.
I stay in a urban city, travel places alone, well, according to the people staying in not-so-urban cities I must be sleeping and making out with everyone and not the "marriage material".

I get promoted. I am sleeping with my boss. I have no talent of my own, I have no achievements in my career. My only achievement is I have a vagina.
My would-be husband may have had a gazellion girlfriends, and might have visited Bangkok many times. But, if I have fallen in love when I was younger. I was a bad girl and not worthy to carry a heir of another family in my womb.

I get married. My parents have tried their best to give me everything. They provided me the best education and values. But, I couldn't give my in-laws money. I have the right to be thrown out or burnt alive.
I have a baby. I have a cute little girl. But, I should have had a son. Its only my fault that I don't have a son. Its not my husband's fault. I and my daughter deserve no home.

I lose my husband. I am coping up with his death. I deserve to be treated as a dead human too. No good dresses, no colors, no good food, no attending any functions. Yes, I have to be treated as a corpse, because I am a woman.

Why is this world like this?
Why cant a woman celebrate individuality?
Why are we women all about tits and ass only?
Why are we treated as objects?

All these talks about women's liberation, is in the end of the day just talks.
Even good educated families put their restrictions on women, to look good in the society.
From her attire to her lifestyle, nothing is her choice. Its just the society's norm.
If she tries to take  a different route, either she is tagged with some vulgar name, raped, or killed.

I hope, my daughter or my grand daughter or my great grand daughter would live in a world where she lives like herself.

Someone I can't have

I love her because she doesn't belong in my world

I am protective about her, for I know my deeds might kill her

She is my sunshine and that's why I keep her away from my dark alley life

Some girls are good, Some girls are bad

She comes in mixed flavors

She is the best I have ever had

My life is about cars, drugs and money

With her my life is about, flowers, smiles and love

Most of my acts instill fear in people,

It takes me more courage to love her and not lose her

Girls come, girls go

Girls warm my bed,

The condoms in my bed stand gets used

But, its her I want to keep safe

Its her I want to kiss good night

Its her, my love, whom I can never have

Bruised, battered and still going strong

In 6 months of her married life, there hasn't been more than 6 days that Neeti has spent happy and contented. Every moment she lived in dread and fright. Fright of her husband Ritesh.

It was an late arranged marriage, 4 months of courtship after the engagement, Ritesh was like a dream come true for Neeti. Good looking, well settled, good family, caring, loving NRI from Canada. He used to take care of Neeti's small small wishes, give her surprises. He sweeped her off her feet, the moment he and his family had come to see her. Neeti just knew that Ritesh is the one for her.

But, not even in her scariest dreams had she thought. what Ritesh might turn into after their wedded life. The first night in her martial home Ritesh came in the bedroom, reeking alcohol. Neeti thought maybe it was his friend who had made him drink.
Her Ritu, was just innocent. But, her assumptions were so wrong. Neeti got a shock of her life when Ritesh flung is arms and placed an unexpected slap on Neeti's specially made up face. The shock was so intense that even tears just stung into her eyes. Neeti was suddenly hearing so many loud abuses flung towards her. She had no idea, what she had done to get all this.
After a while, drunk Ritesh fell asleep on their decorated martial bed. Slowly, realization dawned into Neeti and she spent her first martial night weeping into her beautiful saree.
Next morn was another mixed emotions for Neeti, when a paled faced, sober Ritesh came to her an apologized for his irate behavior last night. Neeti was happy, that Ritesh did realize and hoped that this wouldn't ever happen again. She loved him so much that his, guilt-ridden baby face made her heart melt.
Their honeymoon was lovely and peaceful, amidst the serene nature of Manali. After their honeymoon, Neeti and Ritesh flew back to Canada.

Neeti's ordeal started immediately after she returned from hre honeymoon..Every night Ritesh would come home in an inebriated state,... beat Neeti black and blue, forcibly bed her and sleep off. Next morning he would apologize.
Neeti couldn't face her poor parents because they always wanted to see her happy, her in laws were far away. She was left there, to face her ordeal alone. 30 year old, Bubble, Lively Neeti was now reserved, shy, scared Neeti. She never went out, since the scars were very evident of her body.  She never spoke to her neighbors, dreading their questioning stares.

The neighbors, would many a times hear loud banging, and a sobbing woman. Many times, she would want to run out of the door, but the strange country and her life long teachings of a good wife made her stay back.

Neeti's tears had ceased to flow too, her body now became accustomed to the abuse, every night she would expect Ritesh to whip her nerves off her body and the day he falls flat on the bed without beating her, she says a million thanks to the Almighty.,

After 3 months of constant harassment,Neeti felt very sick and nauseous, a shiver went through her body when she realized that she was pregnant. The moment when she should have been ecstatic, Neeti was dreading the prospect of nurturing a baby with a man like Ritesh. But, she knew she cant or wont kill her child.
She knew, she would guard her baby against the tyranny of Ritesh. The love of her unborn baby was so much that Neeti gained an unknown courage, to walk out of her house, with just the little money that she saved in search of happiness..in search of life....in search of a a future for her unborn baby

Today, there are a millions of Neeti's in the world who have walked out of the traditional typical wife character to make a happy life for themselves

Ladies, Never take an abuse quietly, you are no one's slave. You arent born to impress anyone. Put your happiness first. Speak out. There are ears out there to listen to you..there are hearts out there to love you..there are arms out there to take care of you. You are not alone

Pic Courtsey: www.fanpop.com