Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

May 28, 2015

Life Lessons from Tanu Weds Manu Returns

Posted by Deepa at 11:32 AM 15 comments
Pic Courtesy: Google Images / zingtv.in
Last evening I saw this movie 'Tanu Weds Manu Returns". Kangana Ranaut is outstanding, Outstanding is a very small word to describe her performance. A new hero is born, The hero is Kangana

This is not a movie review post, its something that the movie gave lessons about, just a few dialogues say a lot

1. "Weekdays pe 4 kabootar, 4 racoon k alava kuch nahi hota"
Seriously, that's true, You live in a foreign country, your husband goes away to work. You don't have family there. There is this timezone difference, when you are awake, your family and friends here are asleep. You can't get a job easily. You don't have a maid, a iron guy, a milkman, a car wash guy so you do everything on your own. Your have been there long and have gone to most of the nearby places.
Nothing else to do except for everyday monotony. Its bound to make an person irritable and nagging
People may show a rosy picture of the country on Facebook, but reality might be different

2. 'chaar saal mei 1st year acha tha, fir ye aadmi apna asli rang dikhane laga"
First year of marriage is always the best, happy, fun, roaming, lots of sex, regularly eating out, weekly movies. But, later, say after 2-3-4 years there are kids, a new house, its EMI's, parents to take care of, a career to take care of
I don't say that the fun part goes out of the window, but it does reduce.
Expecting the same things that you had during the honeymoon phase or courtship phase is dumb

This movie also shows many other things,

1. Love is the base of any relationship.
Every relationships have fights. The trick is to come to a conclusion in those fights. Prolonging those fights doesn't take you anywhere. Fight. Talk, Shout. End and never speak about it again

2. Marriage counselors are not bad news
Getting married is no big deal, staying married requires effort.
If the couple, can't sort issues by themselves, its not wrong to consult a marriage counselor.
Its just like, you fall sick, you self medicate, you don't get alright and you visit a doctor

3. Never change yourself after marriage
Your partner married you knowing exactly what you are. They love you for what you are and not what you have turned into.
Tanu becomes this lone girl after marriage whereas she is this bubbly, chirpy girl before her marriage and she become one as soon as she comes back.

4. Communicate
Many relationships fall apart because of misunderstandings.
Talk to your partner,
"I am angry I wont talk"
 "let him / her come and talk"
 'Why should I go first, is his fault"
No, relationships don't work that way.
Ego and love cannot go well together, burst that ego bubble, talk it out and sort it out else some third person will come in and create a mess of your relation
Eg: This Chintu guy, sends a divorce notice without Tanu's consent and Tanu didn't call and clarify to Manu on it

5. As far as possible, sort issues between yourself before involving a third party or another family member
After Manu is pushed in the mental hospital, Tanu could have gone there are bailed him out instead of calling his friend to London
Manu might have been angry for a while, but later he would realize that Tanu got him out of that hospital because she loves him

6. Keep your friends close 
At the time of crisis, Tanu's ex-boyfriend now-friend Raja was her biggest support. Your friends will have your back even after you being a real ass with them

7. Test tube baby is not a sin
in today's world, with all the stress involved, the health might take a toll and there might be various reasons to not conceiving naturally.
Its not wrong to take medical help to have a baby.

8. Rebound is bad news
Just because you had a massive showdown with your spouse doesn't mean you rush into another relationship as a revenge. Its not just wrong to your spouse, its wrong for the person whom you have a relationship too.

9. Parents want the best for their kids.
Manu's mom shouts ar Tanu for leaving him in a mental hospital
Any mom would, its obvious. Her baby is in trouble.
You break an egg on your brother's head, its obvious your mom is going to give you a long lecture for half a day, till you go and hug her.

10. Not all in-laws are monsters
Manu's mom and dad, support Tanu all the while. They shout at her but still care for their daughter-in-law

11. Love cant be forced
This guy Manu's friend goes all the way to Punjab for the girl he loves, who simply says that she sees him only as a friend. He tries to even kidnap her, but even after all this she did not love him.
Love cant be forced, it just happens

12. Love conquers all
Love hurts
Love brings happiness
Love brings tears
Love in the end makes everything alright

So that's all folks!

April 15, 2015

Sunglasses

Posted by Deepa at 3:56 PM 7 comments
*knock knock* "hey" is all I said
Her back was to the door but she didn't have to turn to see who it was, she knew me just too well to recognize my voice "hey" she said

"Woah, what tha...I mean..you are looking like a girl today"
She quips "I have to, its my wedding dumbo, by the way, how am i looking?"

"Not bad, too much gold, why do you think I am wearing sunglasses"

She hits my arm are walks away carrying that heavily embellished lehenga of hers "Looking dumb with those sunglasses" her voice trials away

Why am I wearing sunglasses, I think to myself?
'Pretty girl, I am wearing sunglasses to hide my feelings"
"I am sorry, I hurt you when you were readily giving me your heart"
"I am sorry, I broke your heart when you said I love you"
"I am sorry to walk away holding someone else's hand when you had tears in your eyes because of me"

I realized I love you, I always have. But, I realized it too late.

Today, I see you waving me good bye, I feel my heart tearing apart. I see you walking to a man who is adoringly looking at you, and I have knots of the size of a football in my stomach.
Have you fallen out of love for me? Or have you given up on me?"

She turns to me and smiles.

My girl, All I want to do now is to run to you a take her in my arms and tell you how much I love you
I lost the diamond in search of rocks.

Baby girl, I am wearing this glasses to hide my tears, when right now I want to hug you and weep on your lap"

Me feet feel like stones when I walk towards you "You are looking stunning honey" I mean every word girl.

I'm wearing these sunglasses because its a horrible feeling to see you go away forever.
Good bye Sweetheart!

"The hardest thing in the world is to see the one you love with they one they love"

January 19, 2015

Love is...

Posted by Deepa at 3:39 PM 10 comments
Love, Its such a small word and is such a powerful feeling.
I never knew that I had the capability to love someone so much and be loved back more than I have ever expected.

In my past, I have been in what I though was love. It wasn't, now i know that for sure.It might have been very strong attraction, a lot of like, big infatuation but not love.

Love is when someone has tears in his eyes, in front of his family and friends, on his own wedding mandap, when he saw me cry in my father's arms.

Love is when he holds my hand tight, when he knows I might breakdown anytime while bidding good-bye to my parents.

Love is, when no matter how far, he comes to pick you up despite him having prior commitments.

Love is, when he calls 10 times a day, just to make sure you aren't lonely.

Love is when he wants you to go out independently in a new city, but still subtly tells you that he is there whenever I need him.

Love is fighting and making up over a cup of coffee.

Love is, when you cough in the middle of the night and he who is lying beside you is all alert and asks "you ok? need something?"

Love is, when the kitchen shelf bangs, and he comes running in to see if I am ok.

Love is, when he tries everything in his hands to make you comfortable.

Love is when, he tries real hard to plan surprises for you.

Love is when you know that he is there.

Love is that,silent side glances while he is driving.

Love is holding hands on the car gear.

Love is, laughing over stupid jokes.

Love is, keeping each other annoying animal names.

Love is, to see him smile when he sees his lunch box.

Love is, that warm hug on a cold night.

Love is, him wrapping a blanket around you just because you were "looking" as if you were freezing to him.

Love is, that smile he has pasted on his face, when he sees you. (Such smiles are reserved only for you)

Love is when you both act stupid together.

Love is, when  he books a ticket for your parents as a surprise for you, just because you said you are missing your parents.

Love is us.

Its a great feeling be loved by the person you love.

January 17, 2015

Happy New Year !

Posted by Smita at 11:16 PM 5 comments
You gave her your trust
There she was as a blogger here
Acknowledging the talent
With ideas well served.

The platform grew 
Darling of Venus was growing
You started it
Many others joined in it's showcasing.

Together we came as one
One platform for all the Darlings
Voicing our opinions 
on matters adjoining!

Thanksgiving for us is here
Congratulating you for your new journey.
Embrace a new life soon 
with all the happiness and prosperity.



P.S.: Here's wishing Maithili, person who laid the building brick for Darling of Venus, a very happy married life. Darlings it's showtime!


July 3, 2014

To Do Or Not To Do

Posted by Deepa at 11:21 AM 12 comments
I'm in such a juncture of my life where on one side I have "happily" married or pretend to be happily married couples..and on the other side I have late 20's and 30 somethings singles..

Well, I have always been a very patient listener to all my buddies...
Reason? simple..i love to listen to the saga's other people's life..Basically I love gossip.

I  am perfectly happy with my "i-dunno-whats-happening" relationship status until my 30 something spinster girl buddy make a "Droopy dog" like face and rants saying
"Dee, I want to get married"
"Dee, I need a companion"
"Dee, its high time you settle down before your biological clock stops ticking"
"Dee, settle down with who ever comes along...your too old to stick to your checklist"

I mean..woahhh..ok..I know you are going nuts and paranoid..but please don't let it get on to others...you make me feel like a lonely old lady with a black cat in a mansion that's always dark and lightening falling only on my mansion...

Why cant you see the happy part of your life?
No responsibilities...No one to answer...Attention from every eligible/not eligible opposites..
Besides marriage is just a legal license for sex...and babies...love comes when you  both are like 40 or 50 only (its a proven fact)..

Then I have my "married" buddies of every stage i.e. newly married, 2 years married, married with toddlers, married and pregnant....you get the picture right..

They drool all over me talking about exotic vacations....the "romp"...the shopping...and also whine about
"i loved my single life"..
"i hate to get up in the morning and cook"
"my kid keeps crying all night"
"sorry i cant come for the night out like before ya...you know my mishtarr doesn't like it" things...

And that.....makes me feel that I am missing out on something...or am i really missing anything at all?

but then for some reason I'm least bothered about both kinds of buddies...wondering why?

Maybe I'm so saturated with both that my head has stopped responding either of them...
Have made peace with myself...whooosssaaaaaa.....

I feel so blessed now..Or maybe I am in a simple denial mode

Dialogs for my kinda state
1. Duniya gai tel lagane..
2. Bhaad mei jaaye...
3. mara jaa...
4. To hell with it..
5. Yeah..ok..well...huh...what?

June 11, 2013

Wedding Bells Or Blues?

Posted by CookieCrumbsInc. at 10:15 PM 6 comments
So much has happened since I was last here. I don't dare apologize, I can only promise that I will be regular enough here from here on.

How have you been, Darlings?

Anyhoo..

I was one who never shied away from the thought of marriage. As in, though I knew it was something that would only happen sometime in the far, non-forseeable future, I always knew that one day when it is time to commit to the man I love in front of all and sundry, I would be ready and I would be happy to.

Friends are falling like flies getting married to men they don't know anything about and some have even had babies in the time I took to grow up and get my head screwed on tight enough. Blogger friends went off to blissful married life too and I silently send up a prayer that they are happy. And though I realised that I have gotten to a point where I can legally choose to tie myself to someone's neck(?), the only thing that really freaked me out was the thought of losing my childhood, losing the simplicity of existence.


I still never had a problem in looking at white dresses and wedding photographers (though, chances of me having a white wedding are less than zero), well, I will be a bride someday, won't I?

Recently a situation came up which might mean that I will be married by April next year. And that's when all hell broke lose. I spent the entire day palpitating, hands shaking and completely unfocussed.

I realise I'll be 24 by then but wtf? How can I commit to someone, anyone, without the guarantee that I will not abhor him in a couple of years for all the things I didn't know about him. How can I make such a big commitment knowing that things can fall apart as easily as they come together... Sometimes even more easily. How can I let a man have all I have got without the guarantee that he won't throw it back in my face?

More importantly, how can I know he will not tire of me or get bored with me? Somehow the thought of the man losing interest scares me more than anything else does. 

When a relationship breaks up, only the parties concerned get hurt but marriage involves families, relatives, friends, classmates, the world and their uncle. And considering marriage is for a good solid 50 years, I wouldn't say my fears are not grounded enough. Would you?

I admit that my faith was always shaky subconsciously given my past and all that I have seen through my childhood, adolescence and recent adulthood, but I need to be able to commit some time right? Relationships were never a problem, now when I think of it, probably because there is no finality in them.

But marriage? The word scares me.

July 7, 2012

SHE NEVER COMPLAINED

Posted by Raumali Dasgupta at 12:59 PM 5 comments

George wrapped the potatoes in foil and put it in the microwave. He set the timer and waited for Susanne to return home. It was Tuesday and he had his day off at work. Susanne on the other hand would be running late today.

George decided to prepare dinner as he waited for his wife.

It was Susanne who had taught him to cook. The first time he tried cooking, he had nearly blown off the kitchen. She had to clean all the mess.

The second time the kitchen was fine. But the food wasn’t. Still when he gave it to her to taste, she didn’t complain. She had a bite and said it was the best food she ever had.

When George tasted his own food, he found out how miserable a cook he was. When he asked her how could she find it tasty, Susanne said-

“Because it’s filled with your love. It has you hard work in it. How can it not be tasty for me?”

George couldn’t say anything.

He had been both a terrible cook and a terrible student. But Susanne never complained.

He strolled around the house while waiting for the timer to beep. While looking around he found the corners of the house needed some cleaning. There was a snapshot of their graduation on the wall just opposite the kitchen. “She’s the most perfect woman I have ever met in my life”, he thought.

They first met during an academic conference in college. And the first time he saw her he was dumbstruck by her beauty. She was blonde with shiny golden brown hair cut short. The sky blue sweater vest and black skirt she wore defined her curves well. Her black silhouettes made her more graceful. George couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“Hi I am George Williams”, he stretched out his hand.

“Susanne, Susanne Arquette”, she took his hand.

At that moment, somewhere in his heart, George knew this was the woman he was meant to be with. There was a pleasant smile on her face, one that would take all your tensions and worries away. Her voice was filled with melody.

Within a month they started dating. On their first date, George was late by an hour. When he reached, there she was waiting with a smile on her face. George was surprised. He was scared that when he reached she would freak out and start shouting at him. But Susanne didn’t complain.



As days passed, George knew that she was a good listener, compassionate about her work, and the perfect woman he had ever met.

At work also, she had the best ideas, made the best presentation, met the deadlines on time and within six months of joining, she was promoted to the post of vice president of the house.

Within a year they were married.

The timer beeped. George went to take out the potatoes. He decided to make some salad. The doctor had told Susanne to have more vegetables after the accident. He knew it was his fault. It was his fault that even after six years of their marriage they are childless. It was his fault that there was no one to throw light in the house that both of them had decorated with so much love. But Susanne never complained about that.

They had been trying to conceive from the second year of their marriage. After a year, the fertility test had showed that his sperms had low motility. It was all his fault, George knew.

Two years after the fertility test, he got Susanne pregnant. Their happiness knew no bounds. He still remembers Susanne’s face that night. That was the first time he saw true happiness in her eyes. There it was, something more than that simple pleasant smile. George just stared at her face in awe.

Last September, it was Kelvin and Kathy’s marriage- their best friends from college. Susanne found it hard to find a dress that would go with her bulging stomach. She was eight months pregnant. But she was the perfect woman. She found out a blue satin dress which made her look thinner and put on her best make-up. George looked at her with pleasure. She was looking as beautiful as she looked on the first day he met her. They had a lot of fun that evening. Susanne had also proposed a toast to the happily married couple.

While returning back home, Susanne had proposed to drive as he was a bit drunk. But George assured her that it would be okay. He can take care of his wife and child. She believed him.

The next morning, at the hospital, George knew that it was all over. He had lost his child. The doctor also told him that the accident had a terrible impact on her and so she can never conceive again.

George broke down in tears and cursed himself. Susanne was lying on a bed, asleep and calm, in a private room with barely enough space to stand beside her in a secluded wing of the hospital where they don’t visit for expectant patients.

Before the ultra-scan Susanne told the doctor that they didn’t want to know the sex of the child. But now George knew it was a boy. He had held his son close to his heart long enough before the nurse came and took it from him. He wasn’t sure whether to tell that to her or not.

When Susanne woke up she sat with her eyes closed, her head in his arms. She never said anything to him. But George knew that she will never be able to forgive him.

George found there was nothing left except for a few carrots. “Strange!” he thought.

There refrigerator was always stuffed with food. Whenever she went for shopping, she bought extra bottles of oil, milk, juices, beer and wine; zippered bags of pasta, vegetables, fruits and yam. Whenever he looked at the refrigerator, he was both surprised and satisfied.

It never went waste. When friends dropped by, Susanne would prepare the best meals. She would go through different cookbooks and serve George a new dish every Sunday evening. The date when they first had a new dish would be marked by the recipe in the book.

After their marriage, George knew Susanne was the perfect wife. Their house was always clean. She would keep the shoes in the closet, coats on the hanger by the door. She would pay the bills as soon as they came.

Every morning Susanne would wake up early, go out for jogging, come back and prepare breakfast for herself and her husband, run her errands and then go to work. She was never late.

But now it no longer mattered her. She would keep her sneakers by the door when she got home, her coat on the sofa. She no longer seemed to be disturbed by the fact that the sofa didn’t go with the new Turkish carpet they got last summer.

George no longer looked forward to the weekends when they would sit together in the morning solving crossword puzzles or mow the lawn together.

He decided to put some candles on the table. He began to open the drawers one by one. He tried to locate a candle among the scissors, the eggbeaters and whisks, spoons and forks. He found a packet of left-over birthday candles in the cabinet above the sink.

On his last birthday, Susanne had thrown him a big surprise party. One hundred guests had come- neighbours, family, his friends from school, college and work. She had prepared him a heart shaped pine-apple cake to show how much she loved him. It was his favourite. The room was decorated with white and pink balloons and there was wine kept in a tumbler full of ice. She had done this all herself alone.

Since last September, they only had Susanne’s mother as their guest. The home had become lifeless. Felicia came and lived for two months with them after Susanne returned from the hospital. She cooked dinner every evening, did the cleaning and laundry and drove herself to the market every Saturday. She was a religious woman. She took care of all the household chores. She was polite to George without being friendly. She knitted sweaters for him but gave them to him in the most unceremonious manner. Though she never said anything, her eyes always accused her, “you are the reason behind her misery.”

It has been three months since that all stopped. Susanne has become more silent. She now didn’t care about how she looked or the surrounding. Mostly they would have their breakfast and dinner in silence.

She now took up more assignments, worked overtime to run away from the pain her home gave her.

It had started raining outside.

“She didn’t get a raincoat”, George suddenly remembered.

George decided to grate the carrots and make some macaroni. He started washing the carrots.

The doorbell rang.

It was Susanne. The rain had nearly washed all her make-up. There was a thin line of lipstick on the outer edges of her lips. The eyeliner she wore left patches of charcoal beneath her eyes. She looked like this on mornings after late parties when she had been too lazy to wash her face, too eager to drop in his arms.

She was standing there, in a grey coat and blue denim over her white sneakers. There was a calm smile on her face.

But her smile was no longer soothing.

“It’s my fault”, George knew.

But she never complained.

November 15, 2011

How to keep Husbands eternally yours!

Posted by Suruchi at 8:44 PM 40 comments
Since many of you here are girls in love or on the verge of an adult life and thereby a possible wedding, I thought of letting in some secrets from my own married life to be a sort of guiding light:
How to keep the husband hooked, booked and cooked?
-THE ESSENTIAL COMMANDMENTS!

Part 1:
Little everyday efforts which every woman should practise and please it doesn’t make us drubbed or less feminist:
1. Wake him up each day with a gentle pat on the cheek and a hush mush voice, coming close and resting your cheek on his. Make sure this does not become a startling act instead-just a tender ‘wake up to me honey’ kinda thing.
2. Follow it up with a kiss on the cheek and a hug-just as his eyes have opened up. It is always soothing to feel you are waking up to a dream come true and also always hug, snuggle and kiss good night, it’s like sleeping into a dream.
3. Make sure he gets his meals as soon as he comes on the dining table or on time. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach but then only when it is empty and not stretched.
4. Keep his cupboards neat and things easily accessible. Don’t tamper with his things without asking.
5. Cook food at least once in a while or contrive anything reasonably edible even if he wakes you up at 4 am (yes, in the morning) for it.
6. It makes you no less modern if you press his feet once in a while after a tiring day or give him a hot-oil head massage and watch how eagerly the favours are returned. You’d be surprised to find that men love it if their shoes and socks are removed lovingly by you once in a while.
7. Drop all chores and greet him with a smile and a hug when he returns back from work and follow it up with a glass of water. That’s the least by the way, I am leaving room for innovation and improvisation here.
8. Stand by him if he’s been slighted or ignored, especially by family members or relatives from your side.
9. Always ask your man’s choice before picking up clothes for yourself and try to follow mostly what he suggests. Makes him feel that you value his opinion! If his own choice sucks, give him option between the two things that you most like in the shop and any one of them, if picked, would do just as well.
10. When he is talking to you lend him your ears (and the rest of the body too) completely and show no distractions. Nothing interests a man than a woman who’s interested in him okay, correction-a “hot” woman who’s interested in him!
11. Once in a while, cancel outing programmes when he’s not in the mood or tag along even if disinterested, when he’s all for a party-kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hain, kabhi kabhi hansne ke liye thoda rona padta hain!
12. Keep his hot water bucket ready and covered with a lid before he gets into the loo for a shower-refurnish his toothbrush, soap, toothpaste, his shaving blades, etc before he’d have to ask you for it. Heck, I even used to keep his entire clothes from the UG’s to the sparkling shoes ready and laid out on the bed before he got out of the bathroom in the initial wedded years.
 13. If he goes to work unwell, call up a couple of times to ensure he’s okay or send in a medicine. Stay up with him if he can’t sleep-a cuddle here works wonders.
14. Be the one to initiate a kiss and make up-saying sorry never hurts anyone and we can’t compete with men’s ego anyways!
15. Take the initiative to dress with just as much bother when going out alone with him, as you do when going out with friends.
16. Laugh at his jokes and with him-go up to him if he’s standing alone at a party or getting bored, even of it means leaving your own gang.
17. Avoid blame games and angry outbursts and the phrase “I told you so...” Keep the explaining for later when you both are quieter.
18. Give him space-for boys’ night out, for watching television late night or being on the internet once in a while, for wanting to be alone, for choosing the clothes he wants to wear, for not calling you for days, etc.
19. Make him feel it is okay with you if he communicates with female friends. In fact discuss his interests in the opposite sex by being casual about it, encouraging him to feel free to share things with you.
20. Remember the tasks he asked you to carry out before leaving for work or make a note of them-get his medicine, sew the button, keep the evening shirt ironed, call up the sick relative, get the fused tube light changed, or the spider webs from the bathroom window removed, etc. Get it done without reminders!

Part 2:
These are sure shot winners, come on gals add that zing and dash of romance:
1. Remember dates and days that matter to him and make them special and memorable-like the day he grabbed a big contract or deal, calls for a pastry and candle waiting on his return that says “You are a genius”
2. His birthdays should be flooded with special gestures- give him as many knick knacks as gifts as the age he is stepping into/ a surprise party/ candle lit your room-make him a king for the day! I’ve done them all and ready to share the secrets.
3. Hold hands sometimes in public like while watching a movie in a theatre or playing footsy from under the table.
4. Form your own codes to be able to send across a message even in a crowd like touching the nose means wanna hug you, pulling ears stands for a much needed kiss and so on!
5. Occasionally put little notes in his travelling bag, in office pouch or in his cupboard to remind him of you always. My husband’s wardrobe opens with a big sticker on the door within that says “I love you soooo much.”
6. Have your own song that reminds you of each other whenever it’s played anywhere-create a love poem for him with mad personal touches of course and yup keep the language simple-you are not writing for Shakespeare, gals!
7. Put photographs of your holidays or just the two of you together in the room-on the walls or in frames on shelves around. Nope, you are not giving him an overdose of you-you remind him every now and then that his life with you is beautiful.
8. Text personal mobile love messages just like that and send them each day, till it becomes a ‘looking forward to’ habit.Once in a while make the message sexy to double the impact. Men go dumb and numb under the influence of seductive provocation, even if it’s just in words!
9.  A nice body massage if done properly can ignite many a flame. Introduce more physical variety to spice up lives and throw the head-ache woes out of the window.
10. Buy new lingerie every now and then. There’s nothing as exciting for him to hear you say mischievously ‘you get into bed and I’ll be back in a minute’ and then come back n how;)
11. Take a spa treatment together or gift him one. Showers together always do more than just double cleaning! Tuck him in bed and under the sheets every night-make him cosy howsoever he may desire it and by how so ever I hope so ever that you get my point.
12. Say ‘I love you’ everyday and in every possible way like in the fog clad night, written with your fingers on the glass of the car or after a hot bath on the steam masked mirror; on the sand or with bamboo sticks laid out on the beach, with diyas saying it adorning the floor when he walks in for a surprise on a very special day.
13. Go for walks or long drives just like that-create a CD of all his favourite songs and put that on or update his I-pod. Have morning tea or after dinner walk together. Form rituals and be around at the times when he is mostly alone to fill up his voids.
14. Plan a boys night out for him that’s a surprise. Do all the bookings and maybe once in a blue moon make it an all expenses paid outing. You would have an occasional dent in your pocket but never in your heart.
15. Keep buying gifts of no reason or occasion for him every now and then like a shirt when you go shopping for yourself, or a take away burger when you went for your gals only brunch!
 16. Share his past-make him talk about his school days, college gigs, girlfriends and crushes, memorable moments. Gently persist if he resists and not forcefully demand. But please don’t hold on to the past-learn to accept it and move on.
17. It makes a man so proud when the girl on his arm shows him a hot chick that he must check out before she gets out of the domain. He’d just be looking at her with you, instead of looking for excuses to send you in the shops and then ogle. I do that all the time, sometimes we even discuss the assets and their worth and have a good laugh over it.
18. Take him out for a date dinner some night. He does not need to take his wallet because this one’s on you-drive him there, keep a mini bar ready in the car (means two glasses, an ice bucket, a packet of chips and the drinks...see not much!) and push back his seat and let him relax. Make sure to stop the car in a deserted place for some sweet “mouth” savouries every now and then!
19. Learn to pack his suitcase for his journeys and make the effort to ensure his comfort like put newspapers in the shirts so that they don’t crinkle, a mini medical kit, extra polythenes to put in used clothes, etc.
20. You must give him a hang of close, really close dancing at least once through a dancing out night. It should be his moment there with you, when you make him unaware of people, noise or other hot chicks around coz you are stupendously and teasingly close, yet not really “in”!

  
Part 3:
What every woman should know and remember too for these are the basics-The ABC...I know you know, but a reminder never hurts.
1. Respect his parents.
2. Appreciate his efforts and shower compliments regularly.
3. Keep his home and home atmosphere neat and pleasant.
4. Share his hassles and encourage his interests.
5. Control your anger and never shout at him.
6. Adapt to his friends-at least sometimes if not always.
7. Cook what he likes occasionally.
8. Look presentable when you go out, if not a head turner.
9. Learn to trace his mood and act accordingly.
10. Give him company and time.
11. Don’t nag, complain or crib all the time.
12. Don’t start off with in-laws woes as soon as he enters home.
13. Don’t go on and on about your own parents and family.
14. Don’t compare him with anyone, even to educate him.
15. Don’t underestimate the power of physical intimacy.
16. Never laugh at him publically or check him always on his actions.
17. Never criticize a gift given by him.
18. Money doesn’t count all the time-don’t scrutinize or post-mortem all his spending.
19. Be yourself!
20. Keep the romance alive, be his support and strength and by his side always.

Happy Hubby Humping!

October 5, 2011

For A Successful Arranged Marriage

Posted by Red Handed at 11:57 PM 16 comments
   
    FOR MEN

     1)UGLY OLD SAGGY MAID- Women are insecure and really sceptical. Appoint an old woman as your maid and make her feel that unlike other guys you don’t go for the bootylicious, cleavage showing,  saree pallu falling types. 

2.   2)BE A DOG- Women talk a lot, nag a lot, cry a lot, bitch a lot and complain a lot. Whenever a dog sees his master crying, all the dog does is sit near him, make a sad puppy face and look at his master and sometimes keep his sad dog head on the masters lap. Same way when your woman cries, go sit beside her, hug her, make a face which tells her that her crying hurts you and let her talk. Women love to feel special.

3.   3)SEX- Don’t be an animal and force her into sex every single night. Women like to be cuddled. You might not like the cuddling and talking all night drama but honey, it will make your woman worship you.

4.   4)BE THE HERO IN THE CHICKFLICK- Admit it, you are bad in giving surprises. You roll your eyes every time your wife says ‘AWWWWWW’ when the hero in the movie does something really sweet for his wife/ girlfriend. Surprise her by cooking (you get READY TO COOK packets in the market), get home a bit early and take her for dinner, be a starry eyed boy in love. SHE IS TRAPPED FOREVER!

5.   5)ANGER MANAGEMENT- Women like mind games and they can poke the devil out of its dormant state. Even if you shout at her, accidently curse her or bang the door real hard while leaving the place, make sure you wipe the crime scene clean soon before the memory gets etched in her brain. Make sure things become normal again. A kiss always works, obviously with a sorry. If you do not make her forget, she will bring this up everytime you do something wrong. It will become her secret weapon.


       FOR WOMEN 

      1)GOOD FOOD- Call your grandmother, buy all the TARLA DALAL cook books, Youtube good recipes and bring the chef out of you. Get your flag hoisted on his stomach. 

      2)GREAT SEX- You can never be bad in bed as long as you do not pretend to be a dead body who in incapable of stimuli. Do something, anything! Make him feel he is good. Switch between submission and dominance and voila you have a devotee!

3)LITTLE NAGGING- It’s in your blood and I know it! Nagging is synonymous to the term WOMAN. Bring it out little by little instead of blasting it all in one go. Don’t tell him he is wrong and that he should change. Let him know your likes and dislikes in a very low and cute tone. He will listen.

 4)DON'T OWN HIM- He isn’t your slave but your man. Don’t always meddle in his business, his choices and preferences, do not complain about his boy gang and don’t stop him when he wants to have a Drinking party with his boys. Let him have a whiff of the bachelor days air even after marriage. He will always be loyal to you.
  

OK!  So I have included just 4 points under the Women part, because women are hard to handle and men are easy to please. All major fights are started by women and continue for long because of the female ego, vanity etc. Men too put in their share though.

P.S- Sorry!for not posting regularly here. Nothing I write is good enough. Even this. Also I am not married :P. You don’t need to eat shit to know how it tastes, do you? 
 Image Courtesy- sursanchari.wordpress.com
 
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